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  3. What do you do when homeless folks ask for money?

What do you do when homeless folks ask for money?

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  • D [email protected]

    I’d be much more likely to give money to someone trying to sell something or offering a service. They don’t even try anymore. Miss the old gas can routine.

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    wrote last edited by
    #118

    I once had a gas can man try to sell me the same story twice in the parking lot of my job weeks apart from one another. "Yeah I came up with my wife and kids and we ran out of gas..."

    I didn't fall for it the first time and the second time was pure enjoyment as he obviously didnt recognize me, so I got to witness his song and dance with "secret insider knowledge."

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    • undefined@lemmy.hogru.chU [email protected]

      Easy peasy until one pulls out a tap to pay terminal. I’ve seen it once, crazy world.

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      wrote last edited by
      #119

      I don't usually give out money and if I saw that after saying the standard "sorry I don't have any cash" I would immediately nope the fuck out. I do get it and it makes sense for them to have but it gives me an icky feeling to actually hear about it.

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      • B [email protected]

        This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.

        I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.

        I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.

        Its tough.

        K This user is from outside of this forum
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        wrote last edited by
        #120

        This isn’t the best approach necessarily, but it’s a feel-good thing: If they’re intercepting me as I go to a store, I refuse to give money, but offer to buy them something to eat inside (or whatever else they need). I hold to those promises and they’re generally grateful.

        I also sometimes give money if someone isn’t actively accosting about it. It’s down to what I can afford, too.

        R 1 Reply Last reply
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        • O [email protected]

          I wonder if the people saying they give money every time live in major cities (and walk often).

          If I gave a quarter to everyone who asked me for change, I'd be out over $200 per year. Double that if they're still going to ask me on my way back (which is likely).

          Some of them would also be rolling their eyes at a quarter. Some panhandlers can even become aggressive if they don't like what they get.

          I'm not going to say that these people are going to waste the money on drugs, though some will (and I don't care what they do with the money, really). But I'd rather...

          • Donate that money to food banks and other causes
          • Not carry around unnecessary change
          • Not risk pulling out my wallet in the city (in case I forget to keep the change handy)
          • And NOT turn city sidewalks into tolled walkways for people who can't afford a car

          As for what I do? I do the hand thing and apologize. I make eye contact (or at least look their way). If they ask again, I tell them I don't have anything. There's no reason to feel shame for not giving. Like someone else said, it's a numbers game.

          If there are regulars and people who are genuinely down on their luck, then (if you have the time and willingness), you could talk to them, and maybe offer to buy them food or something.

          Of course, there's always the chance that they'll bring the food back and ask for a refund. But hey, they would've used your $20 the same way.

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          wrote last edited by
          #121

          I live in Los Angeles, I see homeless people regularly and give regularly. When I don't have much money I don't give much, when I have more I give more. I actually specifically got the ATM and make sure to carry $5 and $20 bills specifically for this. I am lucky enough that I can afford to give what I do but I regularly give people$20.

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          • U [email protected]

            thanks for bringing some kindness to this thread. i’ve been meaning to go to the bank to get a bunch of fivers to hand out.

            J This user is from outside of this forum
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            wrote last edited by
            #122

            Definitely do it. It is a great feeling and helps them. Don't let the fear of being scammed prevent you from helping people.

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            • B [email protected]

              This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.

              I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.

              I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.

              Its tough.

              M This user is from outside of this forum
              M This user is from outside of this forum
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              wrote last edited by
              #123

              I made it a personal rule that if I have a $5, it goes to whoever asks. I don't seek people out, but if it's asked, and I have that five dollar bill with me, it's theirs.

              1 Reply Last reply
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              • B [email protected]

                This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.

                I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.

                I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.

                Its tough.

                T This user is from outside of this forum
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                wrote last edited by
                #124

                alot of them lie to get money for drugs, they lie "oh i had a broken leg, or arm" but they are walking perfectly normally. i generally have to ignore them, also one time they came to a residential area once asking for some strange things.

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                • skyline969@lemmy.caS [email protected]

                  Guess it depends on your city. In my city I have literally seen a homeless person throw food back at the person who gave it to them and scream “I ASKED FOR A DOLLAR, BITCH!”

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                  wrote last edited by
                  #125

                  that was an ISAIP episode, when DEE gave a sandwich to a homeless, he said the same thing.

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                  • W [email protected]

                    Yeah you gotta mostly ignore the homeless where I’m at. Heavy meth, fentanyl area. Street violence is not uncommon. Just keep it moving and don’t loiter too long if you know what’s good lol

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                    wrote last edited by
                    #126

                    same here,

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                    • W [email protected]

                      You sure this isn't a scene in scary movie?

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                      wrote last edited by
                      #127

                      it was actually from ISAIP, when dee gave a sandwich to a homeless person, and the person threw back to her, give a dollar you bitch.

                      W 1 Reply Last reply
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                      • W [email protected]

                        I used to give fairly often, but after handing one of the more famous homeless folks in my community a 5 spot and him immediately saying “thanks man, I’m going to go buy a beer with this” I took a hard think and realized I don’t want to enable that lifestyle. I mean a beer is fine every once in a while, but I’d rather see the guy have a safe environment where he can drink it.

                        So now instead I donate to our local hospitality house every time someone asks me for some change.

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                        wrote last edited by
                        #128

                        a sub, choosing beggers fits with some homeless , you give them a little something, but they want more.

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                        0
                        • T [email protected]

                          it was actually from ISAIP, when dee gave a sandwich to a homeless person, and the person threw back to her, give a dollar you bitch.

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                          wrote last edited by
                          #129

                          I've seen that show so many times but I can't seem to recall that scene

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                          0
                          • B [email protected]

                            This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.

                            I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.

                            I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.

                            Its tough.

                            F This user is from outside of this forum
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                            wrote last edited by [email protected]
                            #130

                            Have to pretend they're not there. It's awful. But I don't think that if I give them a few quid they'll turn their life around

                            I prefer to donate to food banks

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                            • K [email protected]

                              Ignore and donate to a local shelter and/or kitchen. Do not encourage street harassment. I know it sucks and I know a lot of people are hurting. But community aid should not be divided based on who is the loudest, most aggressive, or most "convincingly in need" based on appearance. (If someone is hungry or thirsty by all means hook up the people in need in your community, never hurts to share food and water)

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                              wrote last edited by
                              #131

                              Or who can fight for that begging spot

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                              9
                              • B [email protected]

                                This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.

                                I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.

                                I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.

                                Its tough.

                                L This user is from outside of this forum
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                                wrote last edited by [email protected]
                                #132

                                Unfortunately, I've had my fair share of ungrateful ones that kind of ruin it for everyone. Not even a thank you, just rip it off my hand and walk away like I'm a nuisance. I'm much more selective nowadays, but I do give occasionally.

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                                • B [email protected]

                                  This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.

                                  I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.

                                  I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.

                                  Its tough.

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                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #133

                                  I tell them the truth, I don't have any cash on me.

                                  On the rare ocassion i do, I'll give $10 - $20. Because I've been on the position where $20 is the difference between eating today or not, and it's terrifying.

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                                  • C [email protected]

                                    I tell them the truth, I don't have any cash on me.

                                    On the rare ocassion i do, I'll give $10 - $20. Because I've been on the position where $20 is the difference between eating today or not, and it's terrifying.

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                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #134

                                    Yeah same, I give them money, but I don't usually carry cash.

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                                    • B [email protected]

                                      This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.

                                      I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.

                                      I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.

                                      Its tough.

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                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #135

                                      I give to the obviously mentally impaired ones the most. The last person I gave a 20 to looked straight through me as he talked to god. There is only so much you can do. I know it sucks.

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                                      • U [email protected]

                                        thanks for bringing some kindness to this thread. i’ve been meaning to go to the bank to get a bunch of fivers to hand out.

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                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #136

                                        Rest easy knowing you're doing your part, perhaps even more than that. Thanks, kitten! 😁❤️

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                                        • B [email protected]

                                          This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.

                                          I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.

                                          I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.

                                          Its tough.

                                          A This user is from outside of this forum
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                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #137

                                          My brother has told me many times before that giving them money ain't gonna do nothing because that's money that they can use for drugs if they're addicted. He says buying them food is better.

                                          As messed up as it is, kinda gotta agree, especially since zi don't know who's an addict and who's not.

                                          I normally ignore them because I don't keep physical cash on me unless I'm making an as discrete as possible purchase. It may sound kinda cruel, but I find it easy for me to just ignore them and pretend they don't exist. Don't know whether that's more of a personality thing with me or because of my autism already making me less likely to wanna deal with people in general.

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