What do you do when homeless folks ask for money?
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This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
Shake my head, say "sorry man, God bless," and keep walking. I'm not religious, but they often are.
Donate to real charities that actually help people change their lives, or to food banks or shelters that support them. Giving to individuals feels nicer (or worse to avoid) due to the directness, but is ultimately not as helpful.
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If I don’t want to give them money, I just say “sorry I don’t have any cash.” Easy Peasy.
Easy peasy until one pulls out a tap to pay terminal. I’ve seen it once, crazy world.
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Easy peasy until one pulls out a tap to pay terminal. I’ve seen it once, crazy world.
Hustle gotta hustle
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This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
I give them some money
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Literally not even once. But keep strawmanning the homeless to make yourself feel better
wrote last edited by [email protected]I had a homeless guy come up and give me a whole story about how he almost died of low blood sugar that morning. I’m a caregiver for a diabetic person, so I gave him a whole sealed package of emergency glucose tabs.
He looked it over and gave it back, said the only thing that helped his blood sugar was a certain flavor of Rockstar energy drink. He gave me a list and asked me to go buy things. It was in a Safeway parking lot, so tried to get what he asked.
They didn’t have his flavor of rockstars and they didn’t have organic raspberries, so I got conventional and a different flavor. He gave them back to me. I asked if he could give them away himself, he said it would be too much hassle.
He still asks me for stuff when I go to that Safeway, it’s his hang out. The first time after that I said “no, you were kind of a dick last time.” Now I just ignore him. I feel bad.
But, I have a hard rule for myself that if I’m going into a restaurant and someone asks me to get them some food, I get it for them. It’s often hard for them to even tell me what they want beyond “Just anything!”
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Easy peasy until one pulls out a tap to pay terminal. I’ve seen it once, crazy world.
lol if that happened (hasn’t in my life yet so far) I’d just be like dude I don’t have any money, sorry.
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This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
wrote last edited by [email protected]Where I live, there isn’t much walking, but the homeless stand at intersections and hold signs and look at you while you wait on the light to change.
My wife, who is a much better person than I, will keep $5 McDonald’s gift cards in her vehicle and sometimes hand those out. She says that there is a McDonald’s within walking distance of almost anywhere in town, and that $5 is enough to get a couple of things off the value menu and a free cup of water. If they’re really homeless and hungry, at least they will have something to eat.
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This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
I live in Seattle and have this happen all the time. The answer is "sorry, I don't have any cash on me."
I once had someone ask if I could venmo them some money, and once had someone ask if I had bitcoin. Crazy world.
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This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
I'll give a buck or two, depending on how much money I'm making that time of year. I've stopped and had a conversation a few times as well.
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This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
i actually give to those who do not ask
like a lady in the subway, visibly mentally challenged with all her belongings, drawing and
strikingwords in her notepad. she made me sad, so i gave her a bill when leaving the train. her face became lightened when she saw it, she said thank you and I leftsometimes I leave at where they sleep like under pillow next to head
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This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
Yeah, they don't do that where I live. They get housed and fed by the government. The only people begging are Roma. And there are laws preventing people from approaching you so they have to settle for sitting on the street corner with signs.
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If I don’t want to give them money, I just say “sorry I don’t have any cash.” Easy Peasy.
I just say "sorry".
I mean, inventing reasons don't do any of us any favors.
They know I will not give anything after I say sorry. Does it matter to them, why? -
I wonder if the people saying they give money every time live in major cities (and walk often).
If I gave a quarter to everyone who asked me for change, I'd be out over $200 per year. Double that if they're still going to ask me on my way back (which is likely).
Some of them would also be rolling their eyes at a quarter. Some panhandlers can even become aggressive if they don't like what they get.
I'm not going to say that these people are going to waste the money on drugs, though some will (and I don't care what they do with the money, really). But I'd rather...
- Donate that money to food banks and other causes
- Not carry around unnecessary change
- Not risk pulling out my wallet in the city (in case I forget to keep the change handy)
- And NOT turn city sidewalks into tolled walkways for people who can't afford a car
As for what I do? I do the hand thing and apologize. I make eye contact (or at least look their way). If they ask again, I tell them I don't have anything. There's no reason to feel shame for not giving. Like someone else said, it's a numbers game.
If there are regulars and people who are genuinely down on their luck, then (if you have the time and willingness), you could talk to them, and maybe offer to buy them food or something.
Of course, there's always the chance that they'll bring the food back and ask for a refund. But hey, they would've used your $20 the same way.
I wonder if the people saying they give money every time live in major cities (and walk often).
Honestly there's panhandlers then there's homeless. I get asked for money surprisingly few amounts of times from homeless and I usually throw them $5-10 every time if I have cash.
Frequent panhandlers I will never give money to. If you're around the area a lot it's pretty easy to know the difference.
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This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
I don't carry cash on me. I'm mostly not lying. It's rare that I have any. I use my phone for 99% of my daily purchases.
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This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
wrote last edited by [email protected]I say "sorry not today" or something similar but also offer food if I have it. I've usually got a Clif bar or something. Also nice to have emergency blankets for winter hand outs.
Edit: just remember they are people too. Regardless of their current situation. Some might have mental health issues, others maybe substance abuse problems, some might just be down on their luck and unable to find work. Treat them with the respect you would want if you were in their shoes.
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This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
I say I don't have cash. It's true but tbh I wouldn't give any if I had. It just goes to alcohol and/or drugs.
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Easy peasy until one pulls out a tap to pay terminal. I’ve seen it once, crazy world.
I didn't have cash and a guy asked if I could cash app him instead lol
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I say I don't have cash. It's true but tbh I wouldn't give any if I had. It just goes to alcohol and/or drugs.
I mean shit, that's what I'm gonna spend it on too so how can I judge
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Guess it depends on your city. In my city I have literally seen a homeless person throw food back at the person who gave it to them and scream “I ASKED FOR A DOLLAR, BITCH!”
I've seen people get angry when instead of giving money they offered to buy food.
Called the bluff about needing the money to eat, I guess.
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20s? Someone recently told me "my dad taught me to always carry some change with me, other people need it more than me" and now I'm doing it too. There really isn't any other way to act if you pride yourself on your humanity, anything else is rationalizing selfishness. And I often hear the "they're just gonna use it for booze/drugs!!!" line as if it meant anything. Sure, they might, but even if you're a strict teetotaler (and if you're in any Western country odds are you're not, lol), what else would they do? Have you ever slept on a cold floor while hungry? People kill themselves/complain about life and they have beds, meals, narcotics and internet connections, nvm all sorts of legal drugs to help them cope with everything (something like 15 percent of women in the US are on antidepressants, according to the CDC...). Life is hard sometimes, perhaps they also need to disconnect a bit, idk.
Give when you can, don't rationalize it when you can't. We're all collectively responsible for the playground God made for us and everything/one in it, but you're also just one man/woman. Maybe they'll turn their lives around, maybe your grain of sand will help them reach that point.
thanks for bringing some kindness to this thread. i’ve been meaning to go to the bank to get a bunch of fivers to hand out.
