What do you do when homeless folks ask for money?
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Guess it depends on your city. In my city I have literally seen a homeless person throw food back at the person who gave it to them and scream “I ASKED FOR A DOLLAR, BITCH!”
I've seen people get angry when instead of giving money they offered to buy food.
Called the bluff about needing the money to eat, I guess.
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20s? Someone recently told me "my dad taught me to always carry some change with me, other people need it more than me" and now I'm doing it too. There really isn't any other way to act if you pride yourself on your humanity, anything else is rationalizing selfishness. And I often hear the "they're just gonna use it for booze/drugs!!!" line as if it meant anything. Sure, they might, but even if you're a strict teetotaler (and if you're in any Western country odds are you're not, lol), what else would they do? Have you ever slept on a cold floor while hungry? People kill themselves/complain about life and they have beds, meals, narcotics and internet connections, nvm all sorts of legal drugs to help them cope with everything (something like 15 percent of women in the US are on antidepressants, according to the CDC...). Life is hard sometimes, perhaps they also need to disconnect a bit, idk.
Give when you can, don't rationalize it when you can't. We're all collectively responsible for the playground God made for us and everything/one in it, but you're also just one man/woman. Maybe they'll turn their lives around, maybe your grain of sand will help them reach that point.
thanks for bringing some kindness to this thread. i’ve been meaning to go to the bank to get a bunch of fivers to hand out.
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Are you sure you do all those things while you're trying to get from point A to B like the OP, or you're carving out separate time to go do those things? Seems like you couldn't accomplish anything else downtown if you're feeding and arranging medical care and housing for every panhandler you come across.
Not many panhandlers are along my routes. Mostly because I have been doing it for years.
If 1 in a 1000 people consistently did so, then we might finally get the homeless problem solved. (Assuming that your local community has a housing the homeless policy rather than a beating up the poor policy like most places)
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This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
I just apologize and move on, never had a bad experience. I do feel bad afterwards, but I'm from LATAM and it's basically a 50/50 wether you get ripped off or not, so I'm not risking it.
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You sure this isn't a scene in scary movie?
Probably is, but it also happened in my city. My city’s gone to meth in a real bad way.
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If I don’t want to give them money, I just say “sorry I don’t have any cash.” Easy Peasy.
I legitimately don't carry cash anyway tbh. I absolutely hate cash.
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This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
If I have cash, I'll give $5 or $10. Sometimes I don't have cash, and I'll just say that. Sometimes I have a spare smoke or soda or whatever and I'll offer one of those instead. I have a union job and few expenses, so I'm in a position to be generous.
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“Just don’t be an addict bro” is a non-solution to homelessness re: no drug use in apartments. Relapse is a normal and expected part of addiction, and expecting them to be perfect or they lose their housing is a great way to make people more likely to relapse.
Oh no, about 80% of them when asked refuse the housing outright. Its not a matter of them slipping through the very real cracks.
Its that they want to do drugs. Also note: it wasnt do zero drugs. It was dont do drugs in the provided housing. We have safe injection sites for that.
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I say "sorry not today" or something similar but also offer food if I have it. I've usually got a Clif bar or something. Also nice to have emergency blankets for winter hand outs.
Edit: just remember they are people too. Regardless of their current situation. Some might have mental health issues, others maybe substance abuse problems, some might just be down on their luck and unable to find work. Treat them with the respect you would want if you were in their shoes.
This sounds closest. Acknowledge. Be friendly. Offer food water. Make eye contact, however fleeting. Assess crisis. Keep moving. This is Manhattan and depending on the neighborhood and street they might be the umpteenth to ask. They know this. I still acknowledge and make eye contact because suddenly being invisible is the worst part psychologically.
Bonus: if it’s your neighborhood, odds are you will see these people again. You might want to learn their names. They won’t keep asking you if they recognize you and know you don’t have it.
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This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
“No” “no thanks” or “sorry, no”
I vote and contact my elected officials to tell them to provide unrestricted supportive housing.
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I donate to a charity that I know will help (they've helped family members in the past), Shelter, but I genuinely say to those who ask me around my town that I have no change
Economy of scale. Our local soup kitchen could do more with $20 than an individual could
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This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
I usually don't give money, but once a year give 100€ or so to our local homeless support organization, who are also regularly giving out meals and coffee.
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Homeless people endure constant hardship, abuse and dehumanising behaviour. I might not give money, but I'm careful to avoid dehumanising them.
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You can carry around smaller denominations if you do want to give something.
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If they're close to a convenience store then I offer to go in and buy something for them (tell them a budget and ask about and preferences or restrictions).
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If I'm not going to give anything, I still make eye contact, try to have a sympathetic smile on my face and say something like "I'm sorry, do take care". I don't know if this is dumb or patronising, but I'm trying to avoid being dehumanising as the constant response they get is for people to avoid eye contact, walk around with a wide gap or ignore completely. I want to try to at least acknowledge and respond.
Right, I feel like a total ass ignoring them because its just mean. But I also feel like if youre too friendly they think you're an easy person to rob as well...and im not a scary looking person. If i was it would help
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Where I live, there isn’t much walking, but the homeless stand at intersections and hold signs and look at you while you wait on the light to change.
My wife, who is a much better person than I, will keep $5 McDonald’s gift cards in her vehicle and sometimes hand those out. She says that there is a McDonald’s within walking distance of almost anywhere in town, and that $5 is enough to get a couple of things off the value menu and a free cup of water. If they’re really homeless and hungry, at least they will have something to eat.
wrote last edited by [email protected]Very similar here. That is genius!! Beause i also feel dumb giving someone 5 dollars they are going to go spend on a steelhouse reserve instantly....very common here.
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This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
I give them negative five dollar bills so they actually owe me moneys. Gotta love UOIs!
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I wonder if the people saying they give money every time live in major cities (and walk often).
If I gave a quarter to everyone who asked me for change, I'd be out over $200 per year. Double that if they're still going to ask me on my way back (which is likely).
Some of them would also be rolling their eyes at a quarter. Some panhandlers can even become aggressive if they don't like what they get.
I'm not going to say that these people are going to waste the money on drugs, though some will (and I don't care what they do with the money, really). But I'd rather...
- Donate that money to food banks and other causes
- Not carry around unnecessary change
- Not risk pulling out my wallet in the city (in case I forget to keep the change handy)
- And NOT turn city sidewalks into tolled walkways for people who can't afford a car
As for what I do? I do the hand thing and apologize. I make eye contact (or at least look their way). If they ask again, I tell them I don't have anything. There's no reason to feel shame for not giving. Like someone else said, it's a numbers game.
If there are regulars and people who are genuinely down on their luck, then (if you have the time and willingness), you could talk to them, and maybe offer to buy them food or something.
Of course, there's always the chance that they'll bring the food back and ask for a refund. But hey, they would've used your $20 the same way.
wrote last edited by [email protected]Yeah. Unfortunately it feels like the homeless situation further encourages mass car culture because youre a lot safer in there than walking at night especially if youre small or a woman.
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This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
Give them some cash, if I have a little extra. I recommend carrying a little change if you live in an area with regular homeless folks.
I used to bring a particular homeless guy who hung around my block a sandwich on my way to work, and a beer when walking my dog on Friday nights (if I saw him, for either occurrence). That was all when I lived in a different city though.
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This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
I don't usually have cash so I say "sorry I don't have any" and move on. I also volunteer my time with various local orgs so I don't feel bad
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This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
I ask them to come inside the store and I’ll buy them some food.
If they decline, oh well. If they agree, I happily pay for some food for them.
Some of these encounters have broke my heart, others have just reiterated what most people assume when it comes to these things.
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Oh no, about 80% of them when asked refuse the housing outright. Its not a matter of them slipping through the very real cracks.
Its that they want to do drugs. Also note: it wasnt do zero drugs. It was dont do drugs in the provided housing. We have safe injection sites for that.
Can I get a source on any of those claims?
80% of people refusing free housing is suspect if literally the only condition is ‘don’t do drugs in it’ and there are safe injection spots nearby. Safe injection spots don’t help someone who has to take 2 buses and an hour to get there.
