Skip to content
  • Categories
  • Recent
  • Tags
  • Popular
  • World
  • Users
  • Groups
Skins
  • Light
  • Cerulean
  • Cosmo
  • Flatly
  • Journal
  • Litera
  • Lumen
  • Lux
  • Materia
  • Minty
  • Morph
  • Pulse
  • Sandstone
  • Simplex
  • Sketchy
  • Spacelab
  • United
  • Yeti
  • Zephyr
  • Dark
  • Cyborg
  • Darkly
  • Quartz
  • Slate
  • Solar
  • Superhero
  • Vapor

  • Default (No Skin)
  • No Skin
Collapse
Brand Logo

agnos.is Forums

  1. Home
  2. Ask Lemmy
  3. What do you do when homeless folks ask for money?

What do you do when homeless folks ask for money?

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Ask Lemmy
asklemmy
210 Posts 149 Posters 1 Views
  • Oldest to Newest
  • Newest to Oldest
  • Most Votes
Reply
  • Reply as topic
Log in to reply
This topic has been deleted. Only users with topic management privileges can see it.
  • B [email protected]

    This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.

    I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.

    I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.

    Its tough.

    C This user is from outside of this forum
    C This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote last edited by
    #161

    I give what I can when I can. It's rare to have actual cash, but if it's close to a restaurant I just ask if they want food or drink and buy them something with my card. Takes 5 minutes and is just a small act of kindness and support from another person. Most people don't even acknowledge they exist, let alone talk to them.

    Life under capitalism seriously sucks for all of us (except a few hundred people), if I can maybe help make someone's day a little less shitty I'll try.

    I don't mean this in a judgemental way at all, but just remember that they are humans too, just like you or I. Most people do not realize just how insanely lucky they are to be able to do basic things like work and have a house and car and have money and all that many people don't get the same opportunities and are dealt a bad hand in life through no fault of theirs. One big medical bill can make someone homeless in this system. Don't feel bad or awkward about having some resources that others don't have, but you can also slow down and share a little.

    Treat other people how you would want to be treated if roles reversed. Simple as that.

    Again, I don't mean to make anyone feel bad for not giving. I also don't mean to elevate myself in the least, I'm not any better than you, I'm just trying to help people see the humanity in others regardless of money.

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • B [email protected]

      This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.

      I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.

      I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.

      Its tough.

      heywhatsay@slrpnk.netH This user is from outside of this forum
      heywhatsay@slrpnk.netH This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote last edited by
      #162

      Peacefully coexisting is the hope imo. Just leave people alone, offer help if you can, otherwise wish them well.

      Anyone harassing either has drug or mental issues, not much you can do but limit interactions.

      Sound like asylums may be returning, so that will probably be horrible.

      1 Reply Last reply
      1
      • B [email protected]

        This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.

        I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.

        I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.

        Its tough.

        cracks_inthewalls@sh.itjust.worksC This user is from outside of this forum
        cracks_inthewalls@sh.itjust.worksC This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote last edited by
        #163

        If you don't have the means to help with what they're asking for, a quick "Sorry, can't help today" and going about your business is they way to go. It's not a full on engagement, but it is an acknowledgement.

        Back when I was a smoker, if I didn't have means to help with cash but had some smokes to spare and a little time I'd say "No, but if you smoke I can share one with you" and, if they were into it, stop and chat for a cigarette break's length of time. Lots of factors to consider here before doing that, but for the most part people enjoyed the acknowledgement for a few minutes. YMMV.

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • W [email protected]

          But I can understand what you were saying 🙂

          Do you want me to rewrite it for you how I would say it?

          muziriyaolili@lemmy.worldM This user is from outside of this forum
          muziriyaolili@lemmy.worldM This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote last edited by
          #164

          Ye. Not native i am:]

          W 1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • muziriyaolili@lemmy.worldM [email protected]

            I once experienced , in my 22. I gave out about 10 dol , then got keeping asked (i was too shy to reject!) so at last i gave out 50 dol, all what i took from school my college.
            bad grammar sry

            samus12345@sh.itjust.worksS This user is from outside of this forum
            samus12345@sh.itjust.worksS This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote last edited by
            #165

            Here's how Google translates what you said into Simplified Chinese:

            我曾经经历过,在我 22 岁的时候。我捐了大约 10 美元,然后一直被问到(我太害羞了,不敢拒绝!)所以最后我捐了 50 美元,全部是我在学校和大学学到的。语法不好,抱歉

            muziriyaolili@lemmy.worldM 1 Reply Last reply
            1
            • samus12345@sh.itjust.worksS [email protected]

              Here's how Google translates what you said into Simplified Chinese:

              我曾经经历过,在我 22 岁的时候。我捐了大约 10 美元,然后一直被问到(我太害羞了,不敢拒绝!)所以最后我捐了 50 美元,全部是我在学校和大学学到的。语法不好,抱歉

              muziriyaolili@lemmy.worldM This user is from outside of this forum
              muziriyaolili@lemmy.worldM This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote last edited by
              #166

              是。这是在学校时期经历的。

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • B [email protected]

                This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.

                I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.

                I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.

                Its tough.

                B This user is from outside of this forum
                B This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote last edited by
                #167

                Ignore them.

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • B [email protected]

                  This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.

                  I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.

                  I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.

                  Its tough.

                  P This user is from outside of this forum
                  P This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote last edited by
                  #168

                  I try to have food bars and give it to them. Hopefully they eat it and not trade it for drugs or something

                  D 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • O [email protected]

                    In the northeastern U.S. I've mostly learned to acknowledge them, don't give anything, and move on with my life.

                    Not sure if it's bad luck or what, but nearly every time I've tried to be nice and offer them something it always backfires. I'll be passing by with some food and they'll ask me for some, I give them some and then they tell me it wasn't enough and to give them all the food I was carrying. Like WTF?

                    Another time I actually had some change on me so I gave him some and he said it wasn't enough money and started following me, wanted me to go to an ATM so I can take out more money for him. I was forced to tell him to stop following me or I'd have to call the cops.

                    I have even more stories like that.. going through those motions repeatedly it feels like the homeless have taught me not to give to the homeless. But hopefully your experiences have better outcomes.

                    F This user is from outside of this forum
                    F This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote last edited by
                    #169

                    I'm in the northeast, I nod, apologize for having no cash and ignore them past that. I donate to the local food pantry, I know they're gonna buy drugs or alcohol with any money I give them face to face. I dated a girl that was homeless in NYC for a year, she spent every dollar she got on heroin. She knew where to get free food and clothes. She made about 50 to 100 dollars a day panhandling.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    3
                    • B [email protected]

                      This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.

                      I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.

                      I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.

                      Its tough.

                      S This user is from outside of this forum
                      S This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote last edited by
                      #170

                      Its not like you can say “oh no, I donate to services that help the needy” because that person isn’t necessarily being helped by that.

                      I had a friend say exactly that to someone. When I asked them further about it, they said, "he knows where to find a cot." That was more convincing to me before I listened to the "According to Need," Podcast. It looked at homelessness in the Bay Area (where we live) and getting a bed is nearly impossible.

                      I don't usually give money cause I rarely carry small bills. But sometimes. And I will without fail buy food for anyone who asks.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • B [email protected]

                        This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.

                        I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.

                        I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.

                        Its tough.

                        V This user is from outside of this forum
                        V This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote last edited by
                        #171

                        i give them money, just $10. I feel bad and I'll be thinking about it all day. Even if they do something wrong with it at least they know someone cared

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • B [email protected]

                          This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.

                          I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.

                          I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.

                          Its tough.

                          I This user is from outside of this forum
                          I This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote last edited by
                          #172

                          I tell them the truth: I don't carry cash.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          1
                          • B [email protected]

                            This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.

                            I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.

                            I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.

                            Its tough.

                            D This user is from outside of this forum
                            D This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote last edited by
                            #173

                            Sometimes I give, sometimes I don't, kinda depends if I have cash.

                            As a reasonably sized man, I also try to make eye contact and give a polite "Sorry I don't have anything today." For those who really need the help and are trying like hell to get it, I can't imagine the insult to injury you must feel to not only not get help but also to be treated as though you are invisible. I like to at least let people who ask know that I can see them.

                            If you're in a legitimately dangerous place or you feel you may be at risk in some way maybe don't do this though.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            3
                            • B [email protected]

                              This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.

                              I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.

                              I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.

                              Its tough.

                              5 This user is from outside of this forum
                              5 This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote last edited by
                              #174

                              I lived in a rough neighborhood for a good while. It hardens you to it a bit. I just say I don’t have anything for them.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              4
                              • P [email protected]

                                I try to have food bars and give it to them. Hopefully they eat it and not trade it for drugs or something

                                D This user is from outside of this forum
                                D This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote last edited by
                                #175

                                hi i'll take 2 drugs please, please accept this kinder surprise egg as payment

                                P 1 Reply Last reply
                                3
                                • B [email protected]

                                  This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.

                                  I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.

                                  I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.

                                  Its tough.

                                  D This user is from outside of this forum
                                  D This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #176

                                  I have given sporadically in the past, depending on how poor I was at the time, etc.

                                  I don't carry cash at all anymore, though.

                                  T 1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • B [email protected]

                                    This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.

                                    I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.

                                    I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.

                                    Its tough.

                                    T This user is from outside of this forum
                                    T This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #177

                                    I feel really guilty and to avoid feeling worse by making eye contact, I just ignore them. The first time I encountered somebody homeless after being on my own, I felt like a huge asshole because all I could say was sorry while walking by them with grocery's. I didn't have cash on me at the time. Ever since then, I've just always ignored them. I'm what they call a hypocrite. Sucks

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • B [email protected]

                                      This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.

                                      I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.

                                      I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.

                                      Its tough.

                                      D This user is from outside of this forum
                                      D This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #178

                                      When I was younger a person who I admired said:

                                      "I always carry some extra money in my wallet for when someone needy asks. It's not my place to decide if this person needs help or not. Maybe they will use the money for drugs, maybe they need the money for clothes for their children. When I die and get to the pearly gates, I don't want to find out that I had the opportunity to help someone who needed help and I didn't help them because I assumed they would spend the money on drugs. Maybe they will spend the money on drugs, but that's not for me to know right now."

                                      I thought that was some of the most noble shit my early 20's ass had ever heard.

                                      Fast-forward a few years to me and my new wife honeymooning in...San Francisco. My noble naive ass brought a wallet full of cash with me so I could help people in need. Nothing terrible happened, but I soon ran out of cash and we decided to start handing out food. NOBODY WANTED THE FOOD. They just wanted the money. I would offer food, and they would just say "do you have any money?"

                                      Anyway, nowadays I just say "sorry bro, I don't carry cash".

                                      F K 2 Replies Last reply
                                      12
                                      • B [email protected]

                                        This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.

                                        I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.

                                        I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.

                                        Its tough.

                                        H This user is from outside of this forum
                                        H This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #179

                                        I'll give sometimes if they're not pushy. If i don't want to, sometimes I'll tell them "I just gave all my change to that guy back there"

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • B [email protected]

                                          This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can't be giving out 20's to everyone who asks.

                                          I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say "oh no, I donate to services that help the needy" because that person isn't necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.

                                          I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to "get rid of them" but im not supporting that at all.

                                          Its tough.

                                          drinkycrow@pawb.socialD This user is from outside of this forum
                                          drinkycrow@pawb.socialD This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #180

                                          Call in the national guard apparently.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
                                          1
                                          Reply
                                          • Reply as topic
                                          Log in to reply
                                          • Oldest to Newest
                                          • Newest to Oldest
                                          • Most Votes


                                          • Login

                                          • Login or register to search.
                                          • First post
                                            Last post
                                          0
                                          • Categories
                                          • Recent
                                          • Tags
                                          • Popular
                                          • World
                                          • Users
                                          • Groups