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  3. What would you do if you found out that your mother or sister was a sex worker?

What would you do if you found out that your mother or sister was a sex worker?

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    S taiatari@lemmynsfw.comT R 6 vanth@reddthat.comV 12 Replies Last reply
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      #2

      Mind my business

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        taiatari@lemmynsfw.comT This user is from outside of this forum
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        #3

        Nothing, it is their life and not my place to judge.

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          #4

          Probably the same thing as if I found out she was a waitress.

          I'd ask how she enjoys it and mirror her emotions. If she's happy, I'm happy. If she hates it, I'll keep an eye out for other opportunities for her.

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            #5

            I would learn how to cross-post on Lemmy because it's an invaluable skill.

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            • taiatari@lemmynsfw.comT [email protected]

              Nothing, it is their life and not my place to judge.

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              wrote last edited by
              #6

              What if they were selling drugs? What if they were landlords and charged a bit too much? Would you judge then? When will you comment on people's actions and not just practice fencesitting? Honest question.

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                #7

                Mother - celebrate that she's managed to break free from her trad cat cult group. Probably ask probing questions to make sure she's safe because she does not navigate the modern, digital world much.

                Sister - quite surprised in that I suspect she's asexual and also has a financially stable STEM job, but whatever. She's quite intentional about her life planning so she would have reasons and would thoroughly lock down her security and privacy to the extent she wants.

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                • vanth@reddthat.comV [email protected]

                  Mother - celebrate that she's managed to break free from her trad cat cult group. Probably ask probing questions to make sure she's safe because she does not navigate the modern, digital world much.

                  Sister - quite surprised in that I suspect she's asexual and also has a financially stable STEM job, but whatever. She's quite intentional about her life planning so she would have reasons and would thoroughly lock down her security and privacy to the extent she wants.

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                  wrote last edited by
                  #8

                  Your mom is in a cat cult?

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                    What if they were selling drugs? What if they were landlords and charged a bit too much? Would you judge then? When will you comment on people's actions and not just practice fencesitting? Honest question.

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                    wrote last edited by
                    #9

                    They aren't fence sitting at all. They made their choice to not judge someone for doing sex work. Why does that upset you so much?

                    Maybe they would judge someone for the other things, but that hadn't been asked yet.

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                      What if they were selling drugs? What if they were landlords and charged a bit too much? Would you judge then? When will you comment on people's actions and not just practice fencesitting? Honest question.

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                      wrote last edited by
                      #10

                      Personally, when their actions start harming others.

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                        They aren't fence sitting at all. They made their choice to not judge someone for doing sex work. Why does that upset you so much?

                        Maybe they would judge someone for the other things, but that hadn't been asked yet.

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                        wrote last edited by [email protected]
                        #11

                        Everything with a moral component can be judged. You can judge it entirely positively. That person decided not to comment (on anything, actually, because "it's not his life", as if that meant anything besides the obvious truth that everyone has their own lives, lol), I feel like my reply follows!

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                          Personally, when their actions start harming others.

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                          wrote last edited by [email protected]
                          #12

                          Themselves is alright? You have to admit that doing sex work at least comparatively increases the risk of psychological damage, right? A little bit like being on deployment, I guess, to give a non-sexual example. What if a friend started doing coke or went hard in their alcoholism?

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                            #13

                            I'd have an open and respectful discussion with them, asking the following questions: Are they safe? Are they in full control of the money they earn? Is this their own decision? Are they happy? If they answer positively to all of these questions, then I wouldn't have anything more to say. It's their body and their life, not mine.

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                              wrote last edited by
                              #14

                              Sister - Quite surprised (that I have a sister).
                              Mother - Don't really care, but I'd probably have some remarks as she's strongly pro-traditional family, anti-abortion and christian. Would be quite the irony.

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                                wrote last edited by
                                #15

                                It depends on how old I was at the time. I can't imagine reacting well as a teenager, nor should that be expected, frankly.

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                                • A [email protected]

                                  Themselves is alright? You have to admit that doing sex work at least comparatively increases the risk of psychological damage, right? A little bit like being on deployment, I guess, to give a non-sexual example. What if a friend started doing coke or went hard in their alcoholism?

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                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #16

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                                    #17

                                    I identify but I'd like to believe I'm not just 'barging into people's homes' and being disruptive since this is an online discussion space. 😅

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                                    • A [email protected]

                                      Everything with a moral component can be judged. You can judge it entirely positively. That person decided not to comment (on anything, actually, because "it's not his life", as if that meant anything besides the obvious truth that everyone has their own lives, lol), I feel like my reply follows!

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                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #18

                                      Does being a janitor have a moral component? Must we decide whether or not to celebrate or condemn janitors, or would it be acceptable to just consider it a job?

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                                        Your mom is in a cat cult?

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                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #19

                                        Might have meant 'cath', though I'm not sure what a traditional catheter cult would be, but it doesn't sound pleasant.

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                                        • R [email protected]

                                          Does being a janitor have a moral component? Must we decide whether or not to celebrate or condemn janitors, or would it be acceptable to just consider it a job?

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                                          wrote last edited by [email protected]
                                          #20

                                          Of course it does. Things are dirty and people need to clean them, people like clean spaces invariably, wouldn't we both say it's a net positive for society? The worst of janitors is the one keeping things tidy in the CIA offices for instance, letting these monsters cook their next psy-op, lol, but even then their impact is negligible in the success of the war machine. When it comes to themselves, as long as they're protected from dangerous materials, they should be fine physically. Is it harmful for their psyche to clean? Maybe without good music 🤷 but not as much as opening your legs to random men who use you basically as a disposable masturbatory aid several times a day. Breaking the link between love, commitment and sex is not just a big taboo, but it's (more importantly) psychologically damaging, and whatever ideology you have to create to stomach it (plus whatever bad habits regarding substances you might have developed trying to cope with it all) will have to be disposed of before developing an actual connection with another human being/re-entering society. You can't get there just by sweeping floors, and to even mention otherwise is either foolish or a statement made in bad faith, but I entertained it because it could be the former.

                                          Listen, besides the fact that it's just 'socially transgressive', the biggest sin behind prostitution is the sin of self-harm. That's all. Morally, if we're discussing the global ramifications of ones actions, it's way better to be a prostitute with 50 clients a day for years (as long as you're clean, ofc) than an IDF soldier for one day, or even an investment banker. But to say self-harm is okay because "their body, their rules" and it makes them money is a product of moral relativity and ideological confusion.

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