PSA
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That's okay
Frozen? Or no?
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The only thing you should put in your anus is your elbow.
No, wait, that's ears.
The only thing you should put in your anus is your ear.
No, no, that's still not right.
The only think you should put in your anus is something with a flared base.*
*If you're worrying about whether your boyfriend's penis has a flared base and you can't find a tape measure, recall that most penises are not readily detachable, and most boyfriends have hips wider than their penis, so you're in the clear.
If you're worried that this advice doesn't apply simply because you don't have a boyfriend, there's an app for that.
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Shit it was at the entrance! Glad I was scrolling Lemmy with Elvis Can’t Help Falling in Love, playing in the background.
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How about don't put anything in your anus unless it was specifically designed to go there
Where's the fun in that?
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well shit.
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About 10 years ago, I went out at the beginning of the summer to buy a few fresh pool noodles, and couldn't find them anywhere. It was that way all summer.
The next summer, they were everywhere, but now they all had a tag or sticker attached, saying "Do not insert in rectum."
So there were no pool noodles for an entire summer, because some guy saw one, and couldn't resist the compulsion to stick it up his ass.
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We should tell this to RJK Jr, he said to not listen at experts.
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Too fucking late Doc, I’m farting essence of fried cabbage and cat meat until Thanksgiving’s giving.
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Can't have any fucking fun anymore, what's next, I'm not allowed to shove croissants up my anus?
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Patients are warning doctors to mind their own business
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You're not my real dad, DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!!
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Where else am I supposed to store them?
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What is the charge?! Eating a meal? A succulent Chinese meal?
Sir, sir! mastication before masterbation.
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Fuckin Big Pharma, at it again
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Too late, please advise.
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Too late, please advise.
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Frozen? Or no?
Only way to get them solid enough, really
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Literally 1984
Yes that's how many I've gotten up there (lifetime, of course. I'm not a freak).
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About 10 years ago, I went out at the beginning of the summer to buy a few fresh pool noodles, and couldn't find them anywhere. It was that way all summer.
The next summer, they were everywhere, but now they all had a tag or sticker attached, saying "Do not insert in rectum."
So there were no pool noodles for an entire summer, because some guy saw one, and couldn't resist the compulsion to stick it up his ass.
Worse, he sued and was rewarded some form of compensation because some judge agreed that it is not obvious that pool noodles shouldn't stuck up an ass.
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Because it means you have to poop out your mouth.
No; i have an eating disorder.
