PSA
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Frozen? Or no?
Only way to get them solid enough, really
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Literally 1984
Yes that's how many I've gotten up there (lifetime, of course. I'm not a freak).
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About 10 years ago, I went out at the beginning of the summer to buy a few fresh pool noodles, and couldn't find them anywhere. It was that way all summer.
The next summer, they were everywhere, but now they all had a tag or sticker attached, saying "Do not insert in rectum."
So there were no pool noodles for an entire summer, because some guy saw one, and couldn't resist the compulsion to stick it up his ass.
Worse, he sued and was rewarded some form of compensation because some judge agreed that it is not obvious that pool noodles shouldn't stuck up an ass.
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Because it means you have to poop out your mouth.
No; i have an eating disorder.
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Are egg rolls still fair game though?
Why wouldn't they be?
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Fuck you I won't do what you tell me.
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What about egg rolls?
Well how else are men supposed to get pregnant? Gotta have an egg to get fertilized.
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Fuckin Big Pharma, at it again
Forbidden suppository
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What, do you think I'm going to put that in my MOUTH???!!
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Worse, he sued and was rewarded some form of compensation because some judge agreed that it is not obvious that pool noodles shouldn't stuck up an ass.
Honestly, what right-thinking, red-blooded man doesn't look at a pool noodle and go "You know what?"
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I can do whatever I want
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I'm a bit upset people would do that with such good food.
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What, do you think I'm going to put that in my MOUTH???!!
eventually yeah. that's called general tzo's dickin
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the ring isn't flared at the base that's why
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The only thing you should put in your anus is your elbow.
No, wait, that's ears.
The only thing you should put in your anus is your ear.
No, no, that's still not right.
The only think you should put in your anus is something with a flared base.*
*If you're worrying about whether your boyfriend's penis has a flared base and you can't find a tape measure, recall that most penises are not readily detachable, and most boyfriends have hips wider than their penis, so you're in the clear.
If you're worried that this advice doesn't apply simply because you don't have a boyfriend, there's an app for that.
wrote last edited by [email protected]i thought it was that the only thing you should put in your ear was your anus so you could hear the brass section
edit: also get pink ear, can't forget about that
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What about lumpia? Asking for a friend
those are to work your way up to spring rolls which are to work your way up to egg rolls, according to my kinky laotian friend
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How about don't put anything in your anus unless it was specifically designed to go there
designed by who? some god? a scientist? the hillfolk committee for ethics and morality to buttholes and butthole alternatives?
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DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO SCIENCE MAN.
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Lest I checked, this was a free country
