We really don't want to talk about our problems
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If I had everything to survive, a way to go back and couple of books - sign me up.
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Weak men can't admit to their faults nor face their shortcomings, lackings and fears. Entire sections of the internet have been devoted to allowing men to avoid reality and remain immature...
I hate this 'weak men' bullshit, sure some fit the popular definition, but do you know their pasts? Their trauma? The reason they fit such a description? I'd say it's pretty damn difficult to know these about anyone you never actually talk to.
Also, sometimes escapism works in favour of people and gets them to put their lives back together, although it can also cause negative changes as well, although it's not guaranteed. It's not a maturity or immaturity thing, it's just an act.
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You say "everyone" but it's still just other men.
wrote on last edited by [email protected]Nope, I meant everyone.
Edit: Although I guess a more accurate term would be, "Every demographic" since not everyone of any demographic will be that way.
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Solitude? Damn, are your hospitals made out of gold as well?
If you're unlucky over here you get up to 7 other patiens in the same, unventilated room. Including patients who have air-transmittable infections because why not?
Air conditioning doesn't exist in hospitals either by the way. That's a luxury hospitals aren't obligated to (and as such never) provide. Enjoy dehydrating in 30°C+ rooms.
I'd much rather just stay in solitude in my home for a week.
Where I live, hospitals are way better than this. My dad got slashed by a stingray in the ankle and was treated and admitted to a two bed room with air conditioning, circulation, TVs, and a whole host of other stuff, all for free.
Which country do you live in by chance? I'm in Australia, so Medicare's pretty solid here, I'm quite curious on how it works over there.
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Totally get where you're coming from. If you’re staring down the barrel of something massive like trauma, abuse, an entire system that's completely fucked and seems way bigger than you and the others fighting it are or ever will be, it feels like no matter how much "self care" you do, the external crap stays the same, right?? It's fucking maddening.
But idk, to me, therapy (actual, good therapy with a non-shitty therapist) isn’t about giving us power over the root cause, not always anyways because like you said, sometimes it's impossible. Imo, a lot of times it’s about helping people stop handing more power to "it" (whatever it may be) than "it" already has. We don’t get to choose what happens to us sometimes, but we do get to choose how we respond to it, how we carry it, how we let it affect us, how we pass our pain onto others. It can be a super uncomfortable, yet extremely liberating, paradox. Like, okay, I might not be able to slay the dragon here (sorry, nerd here), but I can sure as hell stop feeding it in whatever way I was (constant unhealthy thought patterns, my own actions or the lack thereof, etc).
Therapy doesn't fix the world for sure, but it can help us decide which parts of the suffering are necessary, or which parts we might be unconsciously choosing to carry longer than we need to. Idk, that’s where our power really is, imo.
Edit: fixed some typos
It sounds like you're telling me to stop caring about climate change cause I'd be happier
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The environment we created for ourselves takes advantage of our evolution and uses our biology against us.
Food is drowned in sugar to get us addicted.
Social media is designed to keep us angry and upset.
Entertainment is a recycled polished turd, designed to take no risks and challenge nothing and leave us only with shallow amusement.We are losing our respect for the profound, our empathy for the other, and our curiosity for the unknown.
We have made a world of numbing poison for ourselves. A 29 day separation sounds like the most powerful “therapy” we could have tbh.
the unexamined life is not worth living
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I hate this 'weak men' bullshit, sure some fit the popular definition, but do you know their pasts? Their trauma? The reason they fit such a description? I'd say it's pretty damn difficult to know these about anyone you never actually talk to.
Also, sometimes escapism works in favour of people and gets them to put their lives back together, although it can also cause negative changes as well, although it's not guaranteed. It's not a maturity or immaturity thing, it's just an act.
I understand, and I honestly wasn't trying to hurt anyone nor make light of their trauma. What I said was simply descriptive. And there's a difference between losing yourself in media sometimes, perhaps to cleanse your head, and the pro MTGOW/incel narratives and communities that pollute online spaces, which is what I was referring to.
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I understand, and I honestly wasn't trying to hurt anyone nor make light of their trauma. What I said was simply descriptive. And there's a difference between losing yourself in media sometimes, perhaps to cleanse your head, and the pro MTGOW/incel narratives and communities that pollute online spaces, which is what I was referring to.
Yeah that makes more sense now, and I agree that the incel and other types of similar communities are pretty harmful, best to avoid those crowds. Also, I was probably a bit too harsh in my previous comment, it's mainly the fact the idea that people can be labelled as weak is strange to me, and unless someone has done something truly antisocial, like being a pedo, creep or something else for instance, I don't think anyone is truly weak, just only deficient in certain areas, although unfortunately some people remain unredeemable.
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To be fair it's also men doing this to other men mostly. Women participate in toxic masculinity too, but really, men give each other a lot of shit with very little support.
In my experience, when a man complains about their 'men' problems to anyone online they're given the treatment grueling_spool is describing by both men and women.
But in more "insulated" face to face conversations its pretty varied/mixed. I suspect this is mostly an "all to all" online conversation effect. There are people who are absolutely ruthless online towards men complaining about problems men specifically face and they will find complaining men and mock them.
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I read this as more "not having to experience the daily news for a month and being horrified".
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Honestly if I had the means and skills to survive that semi-comfortably, I'd be down for making that an annual tradition.
I think it's not quite the same if you decided it, and can leave or connect to the internet at any moment.
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For sure, women usually say they want a man who can show his feelings. It's just that the second he does cry about anything other than a dead child, she gets the ick and loses all respect for him, in my personal experience. I think they talk a big game but when the chips are down they find out they're not actually as into it as they thought.
Ok, but in my experience, it is manflu they are whining about and having to do house chores while having it. Shit I deal with every fucking day.
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Where I live, hospitals are way better than this. My dad got slashed by a stingray in the ankle and was treated and admitted to a two bed room with air conditioning, circulation, TVs, and a whole host of other stuff, all for free.
Which country do you live in by chance? I'm in Australia, so Medicare's pretty solid here, I'm quite curious on how it works over there.
Germany.
8 patients per room is really the upper legal limit (as anything more is considered intolerable) and exceedingly rare but having at least one other patient in the same room is the default. Even if single rooms are available, hospitals prefer to put you into rooms with other people as they offer single patient rooms for ~120€/day and dual patient rooms for ~70€/day.
When I was in the hospital for a pretty severe gastrointestinal infection as a child, I had one bed neighbor with a severe cough which I obviously caught after the stay. It wasn't as severe but pretty annoying nonetheless.
TVs generally exist for free but usually only one per room so you'll have to negotiate with your roommates. WiFi, if existant, definitely costs money and will have early 2000's speed.
In general, hospital stays have roughly the same standard as in the 70's or 80's as there hasn't been noteworthy investment ever since. Anything considered a luxury and unnecessary for treatment will likely not be provided for free.
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Ok, but in my experience, it is manflu they are whining about and having to do house chores while having it. Shit I deal with every fucking day.
Yeah I hate being understanding when my gf is sick or on her period too, like man up and wash them dishes bitch!
Oooooor you could be more understanding if one of you is under the weather regardless of gender I guess if you wanna be a loser.
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Theraphy, when it works, only solves internal causes of one's pain.
29 days away from present day society, will for a while suspend the external causes of one's pain.
(Which is why the former usually doesn't fully solve everything: the external shit, which often is what indirectly created much of the internal shit via things like trauma and coping mechanisms, is still there and pushing you)
I felt this comment.
Thanks, I hate it.
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29 days "lost" at sea, is therapy for all of the external bullshit we deal with every fucking day.
By "we" I mean people in society, not just men. Everyone struggles with making their way in "this world" we built for ourselves. We made it to be this horrible.
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29 days "lost" at sea, is therapy for all of the external bullshit we deal with every fucking day.
By "we" I mean people in society, not just men. Everyone struggles with making their way in "this world" we built for ourselves. We made it to be this horrible.
wrote on last edited by [email protected]I watch some trash reality TV and always find it kind of funny how contestants spend a long amount of time internalizing the stress of the situation the show they agreed to be on is putting on them.
Half of Love Island is “Why did you kiss them?” “Why did you go on a date with that person?” “Why did you break up with me?” Guys it’s a SHOW. The SHOW is making you go through these completely unnatural circumstances!
And then I think about real life and it’s like “why don’t I have energy? why am I so depressed? why can’t I be more productive?” …guys it’s CAPITALISM/SOCIETY. SOCIETY is making you go through these completely unnatural circumstances!
…except of course I didn’t agree to be on this show.
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You say men are turning their backs on society. I would argue it's the other way round. Modern society has lots of problems unfortunately, and can be quite hostile especially to men.
I don't think these two things are mutually exclusive
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I don't think these two things are mutually exclusive
Yes this is very true. I think if anything they go hand in hand, if society is hostile towards you, you are equally more likely to turn your back on it. If you start turning away from society, people are more hostile, so it reinforces that decision. It's still a systematic failing though. Society should be pulling people back from the brink, not pushing them further.
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In my experience, when a man complains about their 'men' problems to anyone online they're given the treatment grueling_spool is describing by both men and women.
But in more "insulated" face to face conversations its pretty varied/mixed. I suspect this is mostly an "all to all" online conversation effect. There are people who are absolutely ruthless online towards men complaining about problems men specifically face and they will find complaining men and mock them.
I think I probably agree with your assessment, but I really just wanted to highlight that this thinking is endemic to western culture, or at least the slice of it with which I am familiar. Sure, a lot of people might not say things like this face-to-face, but you probably wouldn't be shocked if you witnessed it, would you?
Just like with any other harmful idea, all it takes is one person in a room to say it loudly and persistently while everyone else says nothing (or fecklessly points out the person's gender as if dispensing some profound insight).
