We really don't want to talk about our problems
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To be fair it's also men doing this to other men mostly. Women participate in toxic masculinity too, but really, men give each other a lot of shit with very little support.
In my experience, when a man complains about their 'men' problems to anyone online they're given the treatment grueling_spool is describing by both men and women.
But in more "insulated" face to face conversations its pretty varied/mixed. I suspect this is mostly an "all to all" online conversation effect. There are people who are absolutely ruthless online towards men complaining about problems men specifically face and they will find complaining men and mock them.
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I read this as more "not having to experience the daily news for a month and being horrified".
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Honestly if I had the means and skills to survive that semi-comfortably, I'd be down for making that an annual tradition.
I think it's not quite the same if you decided it, and can leave or connect to the internet at any moment.
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For sure, women usually say they want a man who can show his feelings. It's just that the second he does cry about anything other than a dead child, she gets the ick and loses all respect for him, in my personal experience. I think they talk a big game but when the chips are down they find out they're not actually as into it as they thought.
Ok, but in my experience, it is manflu they are whining about and having to do house chores while having it. Shit I deal with every fucking day.
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Where I live, hospitals are way better than this. My dad got slashed by a stingray in the ankle and was treated and admitted to a two bed room with air conditioning, circulation, TVs, and a whole host of other stuff, all for free.
Which country do you live in by chance? I'm in Australia, so Medicare's pretty solid here, I'm quite curious on how it works over there.
Germany.
8 patients per room is really the upper legal limit (as anything more is considered intolerable) and exceedingly rare but having at least one other patient in the same room is the default. Even if single rooms are available, hospitals prefer to put you into rooms with other people as they offer single patient rooms for ~120€/day and dual patient rooms for ~70€/day.
When I was in the hospital for a pretty severe gastrointestinal infection as a child, I had one bed neighbor with a severe cough which I obviously caught after the stay. It wasn't as severe but pretty annoying nonetheless.
TVs generally exist for free but usually only one per room so you'll have to negotiate with your roommates. WiFi, if existant, definitely costs money and will have early 2000's speed.
In general, hospital stays have roughly the same standard as in the 70's or 80's as there hasn't been noteworthy investment ever since. Anything considered a luxury and unnecessary for treatment will likely not be provided for free.
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Ok, but in my experience, it is manflu they are whining about and having to do house chores while having it. Shit I deal with every fucking day.
Yeah I hate being understanding when my gf is sick or on her period too, like man up and wash them dishes bitch!
Oooooor you could be more understanding if one of you is under the weather regardless of gender I guess if you wanna be a loser.
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Theraphy, when it works, only solves internal causes of one's pain.
29 days away from present day society, will for a while suspend the external causes of one's pain.
(Which is why the former usually doesn't fully solve everything: the external shit, which often is what indirectly created much of the internal shit via things like trauma and coping mechanisms, is still there and pushing you)
I felt this comment.
Thanks, I hate it.
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29 days "lost" at sea, is therapy for all of the external bullshit we deal with every fucking day.
By "we" I mean people in society, not just men. Everyone struggles with making their way in "this world" we built for ourselves. We made it to be this horrible.
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29 days "lost" at sea, is therapy for all of the external bullshit we deal with every fucking day.
By "we" I mean people in society, not just men. Everyone struggles with making their way in "this world" we built for ourselves. We made it to be this horrible.
wrote on last edited by [email protected]I watch some trash reality TV and always find it kind of funny how contestants spend a long amount of time internalizing the stress of the situation the show they agreed to be on is putting on them.
Half of Love Island is “Why did you kiss them?” “Why did you go on a date with that person?” “Why did you break up with me?” Guys it’s a SHOW. The SHOW is making you go through these completely unnatural circumstances!
And then I think about real life and it’s like “why don’t I have energy? why am I so depressed? why can’t I be more productive?” …guys it’s CAPITALISM/SOCIETY. SOCIETY is making you go through these completely unnatural circumstances!
…except of course I didn’t agree to be on this show.
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You say men are turning their backs on society. I would argue it's the other way round. Modern society has lots of problems unfortunately, and can be quite hostile especially to men.
I don't think these two things are mutually exclusive
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I don't think these two things are mutually exclusive
Yes this is very true. I think if anything they go hand in hand, if society is hostile towards you, you are equally more likely to turn your back on it. If you start turning away from society, people are more hostile, so it reinforces that decision. It's still a systematic failing though. Society should be pulling people back from the brink, not pushing them further.
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In my experience, when a man complains about their 'men' problems to anyone online they're given the treatment grueling_spool is describing by both men and women.
But in more "insulated" face to face conversations its pretty varied/mixed. I suspect this is mostly an "all to all" online conversation effect. There are people who are absolutely ruthless online towards men complaining about problems men specifically face and they will find complaining men and mock them.
I think I probably agree with your assessment, but I really just wanted to highlight that this thinking is endemic to western culture, or at least the slice of it with which I am familiar. Sure, a lot of people might not say things like this face-to-face, but you probably wouldn't be shocked if you witnessed it, would you?
Just like with any other harmful idea, all it takes is one person in a room to say it loudly and persistently while everyone else says nothing (or fecklessly points out the person's gender as if dispensing some profound insight).
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You say men are turning their backs on society. I would argue it's the other way round. Modern society has lots of problems unfortunately, and can be quite hostile especially to men.
This is, of course, the fault of women.
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I watch some trash reality TV and always find it kind of funny how contestants spend a long amount of time internalizing the stress of the situation the show they agreed to be on is putting on them.
Half of Love Island is “Why did you kiss them?” “Why did you go on a date with that person?” “Why did you break up with me?” Guys it’s a SHOW. The SHOW is making you go through these completely unnatural circumstances!
And then I think about real life and it’s like “why don’t I have energy? why am I so depressed? why can’t I be more productive?” …guys it’s CAPITALISM/SOCIETY. SOCIETY is making you go through these completely unnatural circumstances!
…except of course I didn’t agree to be on this show.
None of us did.
I didn't get a say in whether or not to be born. I'm just here now and I have to deal with all of this shit.
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Theraphy, when it works, only solves internal causes of one's pain.
29 days away from present day society, will for a while suspend the external causes of one's pain.
(Which is why the former usually doesn't fully solve everything: the external shit, which often is what indirectly created much of the internal shit via things like trauma and coping mechanisms, is still there and pushing you)
I'm considering hard getting "lost" forever.
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How bad can it be? /s
I don't know what I'm holding out for. Maybe I should fix my teeth, take the gadgets I already have, and get lost forever.
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This is, of course, the fault of women.
No? It's the fault of all genders. Men perpetuate ideas that hurt other men, and women perpetuate ideas that hurt other women. Vice versa is equally true.
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That's about 1 standard stint in rehab where I'm from
wrote on last edited by [email protected]It is sad when you start considering going to rehab just to get 28-30 days away from work to de-stress, get sleep, meditate, do some inner work and work on healthy habits. Because if you are single and not reproducing, you don't get maternity leave and if you are young or middle aged and relatively healthy, you aren't getting any orthopedic surgeries that render you temporarily disabled... and if you already lost your parents, there is no family leave... I mean, I can adopt or pretend to adopt I have some kind of addictive habit but would prefer not to-- Can't I just take a mental health leave of absence and then return to my job? One week here or there every 6 months (if I am lucky) is just not going to do it.
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No? It's the fault of all genders. Men perpetuate ideas that hurt other men, and women perpetuate ideas that hurt other women. Vice versa is equally true.
Im sure. So hard to hear men have it so uniquely rough.
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Therepy - costs money, needs an appointment, takes time to work out issues.
Lost at sea - free, no appointment necessary, immediate relief from the burden of living under capitalism
But the ocean wants to kill you... (can't blame oceans for wanting to kill humans but it is not your fault..). Therapy can be obtained in many different ways. I think maybe going to a therapist is for people who need motivation to care for themselves, need help starting to be healthy, compassionate and forgiving to themselves and get some coaching to find good ways to get there. We sometimes are in a place too low to help ourselves and need some help, a hand... guidance, encouragement and reinforcement that we are worth the trouble and energy.
