We really don't want to talk about our problems
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In my experience, when a man complains about their 'men' problems to anyone online they're given the treatment grueling_spool is describing by both men and women.
But in more "insulated" face to face conversations its pretty varied/mixed. I suspect this is mostly an "all to all" online conversation effect. There are people who are absolutely ruthless online towards men complaining about problems men specifically face and they will find complaining men and mock them.
I think I probably agree with your assessment, but I really just wanted to highlight that this thinking is endemic to western culture, or at least the slice of it with which I am familiar. Sure, a lot of people might not say things like this face-to-face, but you probably wouldn't be shocked if you witnessed it, would you?
Just like with any other harmful idea, all it takes is one person in a room to say it loudly and persistently while everyone else says nothing (or fecklessly points out the person's gender as if dispensing some profound insight).
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You say men are turning their backs on society. I would argue it's the other way round. Modern society has lots of problems unfortunately, and can be quite hostile especially to men.
This is, of course, the fault of women.
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I watch some trash reality TV and always find it kind of funny how contestants spend a long amount of time internalizing the stress of the situation the show they agreed to be on is putting on them.
Half of Love Island is “Why did you kiss them?” “Why did you go on a date with that person?” “Why did you break up with me?” Guys it’s a SHOW. The SHOW is making you go through these completely unnatural circumstances!
And then I think about real life and it’s like “why don’t I have energy? why am I so depressed? why can’t I be more productive?” …guys it’s CAPITALISM/SOCIETY. SOCIETY is making you go through these completely unnatural circumstances!
…except of course I didn’t agree to be on this show.
None of us did.
I didn't get a say in whether or not to be born. I'm just here now and I have to deal with all of this shit.
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Theraphy, when it works, only solves internal causes of one's pain.
29 days away from present day society, will for a while suspend the external causes of one's pain.
(Which is why the former usually doesn't fully solve everything: the external shit, which often is what indirectly created much of the internal shit via things like trauma and coping mechanisms, is still there and pushing you)
I'm considering hard getting "lost" forever.
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How bad can it be? /s
I don't know what I'm holding out for. Maybe I should fix my teeth, take the gadgets I already have, and get lost forever.
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This is, of course, the fault of women.
No? It's the fault of all genders. Men perpetuate ideas that hurt other men, and women perpetuate ideas that hurt other women. Vice versa is equally true.
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That's about 1 standard stint in rehab where I'm from
wrote on last edited by [email protected]It is sad when you start considering going to rehab just to get 28-30 days away from work to de-stress, get sleep, meditate, do some inner work and work on healthy habits. Because if you are single and not reproducing, you don't get maternity leave and if you are young or middle aged and relatively healthy, you aren't getting any orthopedic surgeries that render you temporarily disabled... and if you already lost your parents, there is no family leave... I mean, I can adopt or pretend to adopt I have some kind of addictive habit but would prefer not to-- Can't I just take a mental health leave of absence and then return to my job? One week here or there every 6 months (if I am lucky) is just not going to do it.
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No? It's the fault of all genders. Men perpetuate ideas that hurt other men, and women perpetuate ideas that hurt other women. Vice versa is equally true.
Im sure. So hard to hear men have it so uniquely rough.
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Therepy - costs money, needs an appointment, takes time to work out issues.
Lost at sea - free, no appointment necessary, immediate relief from the burden of living under capitalism
But the ocean wants to kill you... (can't blame oceans for wanting to kill humans but it is not your fault..). Therapy can be obtained in many different ways. I think maybe going to a therapist is for people who need motivation to care for themselves, need help starting to be healthy, compassionate and forgiving to themselves and get some coaching to find good ways to get there. We sometimes are in a place too low to help ourselves and need some help, a hand... guidance, encouragement and reinforcement that we are worth the trouble and energy.
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Just get a project car. It costs money too, but you have a getaway from life, just go to your garage. And the end result is a cool car.
I ask myself spicier questions than the therapist ever will anyway. I haven't gotten a project car though, that's too much therapy. My mind already wanders far enough in any situation.
OMG that made me think of that episode in King of the Hill where Luann had to retreat into taking care of the pool when she was in an untenable roommate situation...
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men built society. whatever problems are inherent in it were practically designed by men. as a matter of fact, the further we go, the more we slip away from the feminine qualities of our humanity (our more egalitarian hunter-gatherer roots). and as it begins to collapse around us, you incels are gonna cry about how it's unfair? fuck you. put your big boy pants on and deal with it. or better yet, retreat completely from it and let the people with honest consciences rebuild it.
god, i fucking hate incels.
This is a rather bizarre response to come up with. First I am not an incel, that's a right wing ideology I don't subscribe to. I mean some of the concepts they use don't even make sense statistically - like they are logically impossible. I digress.
Women make up more than half the population. Sexism wouldn't have been as big of a problem and still wouldn't be as big of a problem if women didn't perpetuate it too. Just look at the trad wife movement or modern women who despise feminism, or like any women's beauty standards, or the whole thing about matching outfits, etc. All of these are forms of sexism that men just don't engage in to nearly the extent women do. Purity tests for butch lesbians and trans girls is another one. At least you can argue that men also do that, but they aren't the ones kicking women out of bathrooms.
Absolutely toxic masculinity is a problem largeley caused by men, but that's not the fault of the individual. Like I didn't decide that boys don't cry. Plenty of women too help perpetuate and reinforce these ideas by doing things like breaking up with men who show any vulnerability. There is a reason why gay men are better at this.
As for the whole thing of slipping further away from feminine qualities - you do know not all past societies were more feminine, right? Have you heard of ancient Greece? You do realize feminism has made large strides at addressing much of these issues? Like this all used to be much worse, things have been progressively changing for the better and still are in most places. It's only the USA that seems to have taken a nosedive recently. Even that is a push back against broader change.
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Im sure. So hard to hear men have it so uniquely rough.
No one is saying women don't have it rough. The difference is one gender is being pushed out of society, the other is being pushed under it. Men are basically encouraged to give up and go away, maybe commit suicide or go fight in a war. Women are encouraged to find a "man" and become some tradwife who has no agency. Neither is a good thing, but don't pretend they aren't different.
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therapy also teaches a lot of sociopathic traits.
my SIL went through therapy recently (after getting into a weird polygamous relationship which allowed her the $$ to do so). she and my wife had lived through a pretty traumatic upbringing after their wonderful father died and left them to deal with a BPD mother who blew through the family money and left them to practically fend for themselves while being batshit crazy.
all the therapist taught her was to be selfish. she practically cut off contact with both her sister and mother and just got really good at doing what was best for herself and herself only. since then, her mother has become disabled and now my wife is having to deal with it all alone while the sister lives a very lavish life on a farm.
fuck therapy and fuck modern life in general. no wonder we're all becoming assholes.
If the mother is so bad and abusive then why is your wife helping her? I think the sister did the right thing here. The state has mechanisms to take care of the elderly for good reasons.
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No one is saying women don't have it rough. The difference is one gender is being pushed out of society, the other is being pushed under it. Men are basically encouraged to give up and go away, maybe commit suicide or go fight in a war. Women are encouraged to find a "man" and become some tradwife who has no agency. Neither is a good thing, but don't pretend they aren't different.
wrote on last edited by [email protected]Non heteronormative women are absolutely encouraged to die.
5150 holds (local code, idk how local) are like a rite of passage.
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Non heteronormative women are absolutely encouraged to die.
5150 holds (local code, idk how local) are like a rite of passage.
I hadn't considered that. I can't say I know much of the struggles of lesbians.
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I hadn't considered that. I can't say I know much of the struggles of lesbians.
Also, heteronormative women are only valued for how they can, potentially, make more men. The platonic ideal is kept pregnant and comatose so it doesn't talk.
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Agreed. It’s more like “people would rather be lost at sea than live in a modern society”.
To be fair we were breed to be lost at sea/forest/steppe, not live in a modern society. Like that's our natural place to live and die, not a city.
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1.8/10 on IMDB
So even with bots it's only 1.8...
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You can just do that. No one is stopping you from buying a canoe and floating away
A cursory glance implies a decent canoe starts at $2000, so my bank account is stopping me, at bare minimum
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The environment we created for ourselves takes advantage of our evolution and uses our biology against us.
Food is drowned in sugar to get us addicted.
Social media is designed to keep us angry and upset.
Entertainment is a recycled polished turd, designed to take no risks and challenge nothing and leave us only with shallow amusement.We are losing our respect for the profound, our empathy for the other, and our curiosity for the unknown.
We have made a world of numbing poison for ourselves. A 29 day separation sounds like the most powerful “therapy” we could have tbh.
Damn, that is well said. This sentence in particular:
We are losing our respect for the profound, our empathy for the other, and our curiosity for the unknown.
is the kind of thing that sounds like an empty platitude when your mind/life is in a bad state, but after a few years of progress and healing I read that line and wish I could adequately express the years of reflection and learning that can be distilled down to such a short statement.
