I've been told that I "bottle things up and then explode". How do you not "explode"?
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First, don't tell me that the answer is just to "not bottle things up", because that's objectively incorrect too. Society doesn't want you to have any negative emotions. I need to know how to not express negative emotions at all whatsoever unless I'm alone. I know it can be done because it is done in many other people on the planet.
Edit: Ok so I think one of the things I want to try doing next is ask for a med change from my psych provider.
Nice people tend to let things go, they will eventually catch up and you will blow. Instead when something happens or something is said you need to stand up right in that moment. This way it was dealt with and there is nothing to bottle up.
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Bottling things up is totally fine if it works for you. The people telling you not to do that are just projecting because they can't do it.
Bottling things up is very unhealthy.
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Bottling things up is very unhealthy.
Ah, one the people showed up. How surprising.
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Yes I have very recently. It is currently an ongoing ordeal but I am not hopeful. People have gone to HR about my supervisor before and it has never changed anything.
Keep trying, document everything. Get people to talk and align their stories. Consider getting several people with grievances to go to HR together. Showing up together is a show of force most HR take very seriously in my experience.
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Yes I have very recently. It is currently an ongoing ordeal but I am not hopeful. People have gone to HR about my supervisor before and it has never changed anything.
In my experience if you have a toxic boss you clash with, and HR is unwilling to deal with the problem then they are complicit, which is a far too frequent scenario, if at all possible it sounds like a new job would be the best option for your mental health while you talk to a therapist about the situation to find coping tools in the meantime
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Have you never had anyone bully you or others at work? I'm glad to hear it, man, but we aren't all that lucky. My coworkers handle it better than me, but I'm also picked on a bit more than them.
This is the first time the bully at work also happens to be my supervisor. I have been able to handle workplace bullies in the past by interacting with them minimally, but I can't do that when it involves my supervisor.
I'm not sure why you are getting down voted so hard for this. You are describing a very direct awful relationship thats unavoidable. Sort of like an abusive parent.
I would advise you try to find another job, or if you can move laterally in the company that might get you to a different supervisor.
Also, your supervisor can go fuck themselves in their own face.
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First, don't tell me that the answer is just to "not bottle things up", because that's objectively incorrect too. Society doesn't want you to have any negative emotions. I need to know how to not express negative emotions at all whatsoever unless I'm alone. I know it can be done because it is done in many other people on the planet.
Edit: Ok so I think one of the things I want to try doing next is ask for a med change from my psych provider.
The people commenting on here are unhinged. Clearly a lot of "I was treated poorly by my boss so you should deal with it too" energy.
I saw someone imply it couldn't be bad unless you were being physically threatened with a knife at work. Ive seen people say you should just say how you feel when you feel it, but that won't change the main problem here which is that its not okay for a supervisor to treat people poorly.
Nothing you change about yourself will change your supervisor. People quit managers not jobs, in most cases. It wouldnt be unreasonable to look for other work or to request a change in supervisor/team.
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Ah, one the people showed up. How surprising.
All bottling means is that you are choosing when to deal with something. I agree it isn't negative on its own.
Would you argue for bottling things up indefinitely in some situations?
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All bottling means is that you are choosing when to deal with something. I agree it isn't negative on its own.
Would you argue for bottling things up indefinitely in some situations?
Would you argue for bottling things up indefinitely in some situations?
I guess. That sometimes happens by accident when you bottle something up ... and then just forget about it.
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First, don't tell me that the answer is just to "not bottle things up", because that's objectively incorrect too. Society doesn't want you to have any negative emotions. I need to know how to not express negative emotions at all whatsoever unless I'm alone. I know it can be done because it is done in many other people on the planet.
Edit: Ok so I think one of the things I want to try doing next is ask for a med change from my psych provider.
One of the most healthy practices you can do is to fully experience negative emotion, let it wash over you and fully occupy you, then breathe deeply and let that emotion go. Holding on to negative emotion has long term health consequences. Remember that you have no control over the world, just your own reactions to the world.
I have a lot of anger that I try to let go of this way. Life has become a long series of just being shit on by everyone and everything. But what can I really do about it? Keep working and moving up the ladder to where the shit sandwiches have more bread I guess. In the meantime, I try to practice mindfulness with my emotions and breathe through them. You can use the Dune Litany Against Fear with pretty much any negative emotion. -
First, don't tell me that the answer is just to "not bottle things up", because that's objectively incorrect too. Society doesn't want you to have any negative emotions. I need to know how to not express negative emotions at all whatsoever unless I'm alone. I know it can be done because it is done in many other people on the planet.
Edit: Ok so I think one of the things I want to try doing next is ask for a med change from my psych provider.
wrote on last edited by [email protected]Society doesn’t want you to have any negative emotions. I need to know how to not express negative emotions at all whatsoever unless I’m alone.
What about your friends or family? Particularly in some countries, it's true that public displays of unhappiness are taboo. Less-than-totally-public displays are kind of a huge part of people's social lives everywhere.
