Thank you ^.^
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The "for" part is what makes this a backhanded compliment. It heavily implies prejudice/preconceived notions, because there is no need to compare to the other group. While it might be a compliment directed at the person, it's implicity demeaning to the community you are getting compared to. It's not necessarily a firmly or consciously held believe, but it still shows what they are expecting.
I kinda see your point, but I think context is important here. For many trans people, part of transitioning includes working toward presenting as their identified gender, and that process can take time and effort. So when someone says "you look good for a trans man/woman", in a clumsy way, it might be meant as recognition of that effort, like saying, “you look exactly how you hoped to". Which is completely different from automatically assuming that all women are stupid for being women.
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Not any different from all the times I’ve been told I’m really something or another for a woman
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Doesn't it though? "You're pretty X for a Y" assume X people aren't Y naturally. Fill in the blanks for smart : woman :: attractive : trans
wrote on last edited by [email protected]“Yeah, you’re pretty good lookin’, for a girl.”
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Oooohhhhh right, I forgot about that bit of Lemmy lore. Better to leave well enough alone then, eh
What? What? Please inform me of this Lemmy lore I'm hella confused
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I kinda see your point, but I think context is important here. For many trans people, part of transitioning includes working toward presenting as their identified gender, and that process can take time and effort. So when someone says "you look good for a trans man/woman", in a clumsy way, it might be meant as recognition of that effort, like saying, “you look exactly how you hoped to". Which is completely different from automatically assuming that all women are stupid for being women.
I can see what you mean, but you still get reminded that you are trans/don't get clocked fully as the gender you're presenting as.
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I can see what you mean, but you still get reminded that you are trans/don't get clocked fully as the gender you're presenting as.
I'm not saying it's perfect, but it's definitely not as "backhanded" as the other one. In fact, that "compliment", especially in the context of the meme, implies they didn't realize the person is transgender until it was somehow pointed out explicitly, because of the whole "wow, you're trans?" part.
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Prejucide and sexism is okay when it's done from an LGBTQ perspective!
Please go back to reddit.
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Doesn't it though? "You're pretty X for a Y" assume X people aren't Y naturally. Fill in the blanks for smart : woman :: attractive : trans
Sorry that I neglected your comment, but my response to the neighboring comment applies here as well.
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And you should wear it with confidence. Honestly had the most respect for people who are really cute out in public but then reveal their true gremlin selves at home when the makeup is off and they're in pajamas and a t shirt.
Means they really worked for those good looks, which most people really need to do at my age.
My self- esteem is low, but not because I am ugly. More because I feel like I have no purpose as I keep failing to get a job.
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Is that a compliment?
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What? What? Please inform me of this Lemmy lore I'm hella confused
I would also like to know
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Prejucide and sexism is okay when it's done from an LGBTQ perspective!
How is it that?
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Is that a compliment?
they said i look really good thats all that matters to me
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I understand what this meme conveys. It's great, swapping works. However if I read it mentally and imagine it's directed at me,... it feels good. I wish men got more compliments, cisgender or not
you are baller have a good day
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My self- esteem is low, but not because I am ugly. More because I feel like I have no purpose as I keep failing to get a job.
Yeah, that's a tough one.
If you're young, that's just how it is right now. You're totally valid in feeling frustrated or inadequate but also know you're not doing especially badly compared to others in your position.
If you're older, it just takes some people longer before the pieces fall into place. Right person wrong time kind of deal.
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This post did not contain any content.wrote on last edited by [email protected]
Thanks! I'll take what I can get.
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Not any different from all the times I’ve been told I’m really something or another for a woman
You are something or another regardless of your gender in my book.
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Yeah, that's a tough one.
If you're young, that's just how it is right now. You're totally valid in feeling frustrated or inadequate but also know you're not doing especially badly compared to others in your position.
If you're older, it just takes some people longer before the pieces fall into place. Right person wrong time kind of deal.
Thank you. I am trying to hold on, even when I don't really want to.
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I'm permabanned from Blahaj for saying, on another instance, that I don't believe in dragons.
You monster!
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What? What? Please inform me of this Lemmy lore I'm hella confused
The long and short of it is that a certain poster insisted that their gender was 'dragonfucker', and that they fucked the gender of 'dragons'. For obvious reasons not everyone was onboard with this, but the Blahaj admins decided that it wasn't up for discussion. Unfortunately, they decided that what wasn't up for discussion was up to, and including, the very existence of dragons. That's the lore of it.
In an admittedly bitter conversation about the whole debacle several months later on another instance, the top Blahaj admin (who was not involved in the conversation) saw that I still denied the existence of dragons, and decided to permaban me from Blahaj for that terrible crime, notwithstanding that I hadn't even posted on Blahaj since the debacle in any case. That's the personal story.
@[email protected] since you asked too.
