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short

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Lemmy Shitpost
lemmyshitpost
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  • kolanaki@pawb.socialK [email protected]

    If drinking alcohol prohibits you from going to heaven, all the church goers who practice communion are fucked.

    S This user is from outside of this forum
    S This user is from outside of this forum
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    wrote last edited by
    #32

    You're forgetting the primary rule of religion: everything you do is evil, everything I do is the exception.

    1 Reply Last reply
    1
    • ssupii@sopuli.xyzS [email protected]
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      wrote last edited by
      #33

      go the heaven

      1 Reply Last reply
      2
      • allnewtypeface@leminal.spaceA [email protected]

        You just rediscovered Dark Calvinism

        pandantic@midwest.socialP This user is from outside of this forum
        pandantic@midwest.socialP This user is from outside of this forum
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        wrote last edited by
        #34

        Yo, I like this.

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • H [email protected]

          That’s why I said miss it. Believe it or not, Reddit did and still does exist. I’d like to think we’re not a cult that demands pretending that our before-lives never existed.

          L This user is from outside of this forum
          L This user is from outside of this forum
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          wrote last edited by
          #35

          c/mandelaeffect

          I see many people here collectively misremembering a platform called reddit and not gonna lie, I kind of also do somehow

          rickyrigatoni@retrolemmy.comR 1 Reply Last reply
          4
          • empireoflove2@lemmy.dbzer0.comE [email protected]

            short people cannot reach heaven. Without a stepstool

            L This user is from outside of this forum
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            wrote last edited by
            #36

            That's why I always carry my stilts with me, in case of an accident

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            • ssupii@sopuli.xyzS [email protected]
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              wrote last edited by
              #37

              Randy Newman approves

              1 Reply Last reply
              1
              • ssupii@sopuli.xyzS [email protected]
                This post did not contain any content.
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                wrote last edited by
                #38

                So what's the pork limit?

                I 1 Reply Last reply
                1
                • ssupii@sopuli.xyzS [email protected]
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                  wrote last edited by
                  #39

                  That’s not what google ai tells me

                  ssupii@sopuli.xyzS 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.deB [email protected]

                    Sorry kids.

                    H This user is from outside of this forum
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                    wrote last edited by
                    #40

                    It’s ok, Uncle Roger.

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                    • ssupii@sopuli.xyzS [email protected]
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                      wrote last edited by [email protected]
                      #41

                      tfw you've tried to be a good lad, prosocial and overall kind to your fellow man, but God made you 1.70m

                      ;_;

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                      • Y [email protected]

                        Someone said that hell probably really is the place to be. Heaven has mega rules to get in, and everyone else just crashes at Satan's place.

                        The torture for the true sinners probably happens, but at the hands of the normal people who didnt make it to heaven. Be honest with yourself, would you pass up the opportunity to ram a hot poker up Hitlers arse?

                        P This user is from outside of this forum
                        P This user is from outside of this forum
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                        wrote last edited by
                        #42

                        I thought it was supposed to be a pineapple?

                        regalpotoo@lemmy.worldR 1 Reply Last reply
                        1
                        • ssupii@sopuli.xyzS [email protected]
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                          fredselfish@lemmy.worldF This user is from outside of this forum
                          fredselfish@lemmy.worldF This user is from outside of this forum
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                          wrote last edited by
                          #43

                          Dont we welcome alll that and more in hell. We have AC with all the scientists down there.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          1
                          • L [email protected]

                            c/mandelaeffect

                            I see many people here collectively misremembering a platform called reddit and not gonna lie, I kind of also do somehow

                            rickyrigatoni@retrolemmy.comR This user is from outside of this forum
                            rickyrigatoni@retrolemmy.comR This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote last edited by
                            #44

                            my god you're right

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            2
                            • Y [email protected]

                              Someone said that hell probably really is the place to be. Heaven has mega rules to get in, and everyone else just crashes at Satan's place.

                              The torture for the true sinners probably happens, but at the hands of the normal people who didnt make it to heaven. Be honest with yourself, would you pass up the opportunity to ram a hot poker up Hitlers arse?

                              B This user is from outside of this forum
                              B This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote last edited by
                              #45

                              The torture for the true sinners probably happens, but at the hands of the normal people who didnt make it to heaven.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              1
                              • ssupii@sopuli.xyzS [email protected]
                                This post did not contain any content.
                                T This user is from outside of this forum
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                                wrote last edited by
                                #46

                                A wise man once said that they had no reason to live.

                                Has it been confirmed that they have no reason to die as well?

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • Y [email protected]

                                  Someone said that hell probably really is the place to be. Heaven has mega rules to get in, and everyone else just crashes at Satan's place.

                                  The torture for the true sinners probably happens, but at the hands of the normal people who didnt make it to heaven. Be honest with yourself, would you pass up the opportunity to ram a hot poker up Hitlers arse?

                                  C This user is from outside of this forum
                                  C This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #47

                                  Who knows, Hitler may well be in heaven. All it takes is a moment of repentance.

                                  dasus@lemmy.worldD 1 Reply Last reply
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                                  • ssupii@sopuli.xyzS [email protected]
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                                    aceshigh@lemmy.worldA This user is from outside of this forum
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                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #48

                                    lol I can’t believe grown ass adults believe this shit. I’m surprised most people dont start questioning this after they learn about Santa clause.

                                    V P A 3 Replies Last reply
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                                    • ssupii@sopuli.xyzS [email protected]
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                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #49

                                      Overcook chicken? Believe it or not, also no heaven

                                      B H 2 Replies Last reply
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                                      • T [email protected]

                                        So what's the pork limit?

                                        I This user is from outside of this forum
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                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #50

                                        No more than 6 rashers per day

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • ssupii@sopuli.xyzS [email protected]
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                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #51

                                          Randy Newman is the gatekeeper of heaven?

                                          S mojofrododojo@lemmy.worldM 2 Replies Last reply
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