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  3. ‘If I switch it off, my girlfriend might think I’m cheating’: inside the rise of couples location sharing

‘If I switch it off, my girlfriend might think I’m cheating’: inside the rise of couples location sharing

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  • W [email protected]

    It’s not about what I think,

    well if you think your opinion does not matter in a discussion, I may as well just stop responding. especially since with every response you sound more and more hostile.
    the point with that question was to ask if you disagree. you don't have to say you do, it's clear as day

    Do you have anything to support that the specific system used by the original commenter is using that data in a manner not agreed to when they shared it or in a way that the original commenter doesn’t agree to?

    you are asking for the impossible as they did not disclose what service do they use. but one of the most popular of such services is life360, which has been known to be doing this for a long time

    • https://www.classaction.org/news/life360-secretly-sells-users-geolocation-data-to-third-parties-class-action-claims
    • https://lemmy.ml/post/32458834
    L This user is from outside of this forum
    L This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote last edited by
    #349

    you are asking for the impossible as they did not disclose what service do they use

    So you’re applying your own personal preference and beliefs. Saying “all the while this is a major breach of privacy, for both parties, and also of trust” is just you applying your preferences and beliefs to someone else’s personal decision.

    especially since with every response you sound more and more hostile.

    Do I? How so? You made a statement of fact (all the while this is a major breach of privacy, for both parties, and also of trust) about someone else’s choice and situation without any information to directly support it (you are asking for the impossible as they did not disclose what service do they use).

    Calling my questioning and pushback “hostile” seems like bad-jacketing to me. Maybe you’re getting defensive?

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    • jerkface@lemmy.caJ [email protected]

      It's really disturbing how everyone sees this practice through the lens of (mis)trust. Can you really think of no other reasons? Absurd.

      chaoticentropy@feddit.ukC This user is from outside of this forum
      chaoticentropy@feddit.ukC This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote last edited by [email protected]
      #350

      "I trust you enough to let you monitor me at all times. :)"

      "I don't trust you enough not to. (:"

      1 Reply Last reply
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      • return2ozma@lemmy.worldR [email protected]
        This post did not contain any content.
        chaoticentropy@feddit.ukC This user is from outside of this forum
        chaoticentropy@feddit.ukC This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote last edited by
        #351

        If I was actively sharing locations with someone and theirs just abruptly vanished, I'd be concerned that something happened to them... either share or don't share.

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        • E [email protected]

          My wife and I share our location. We both trust each other implicitly and neither of us consider it a breach of privacy, but rather a willing sharing of information. I think if this is demanded of someone unilaterally, it would be both a breach of privacy and trust, but it's just so damn convenient for our lives and makes us both feel safer. If I'm out late in the city to see a friend, my wife can easily see that I'm safe making it to my car and driving home. If my wife is working late and forgets to text, I can easily check and know she's still in the building. As two gay women, it was a no-brainer for us. I would never demand that of someone. It seems like a lot of people in the comments see sharing location as an intrinsically harmful or negative action, whereas it's far more context and consent dependent for me. Hell, I even share my location with a friend for a few hours if I'm doing something sketchy.

          W This user is from outside of this forum
          W This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote last edited by
          #352

          We both trust each other implicitly and neither of us consider it a breach of privacy, but rather a willing sharing of information.

          I was unclear on what I meant by the breach of privacy. there's another comment chain discussing that but tldr: it's not about sharing your location with your SO, but entrusting profit driven careless companies with both of your sensitive information.

          Additionally, there's something I haven't written in that other thread. It's not only about the both of you. I as a host (in my house, this does not apply to public places) don't want to have guests who's phones are uploading their visit at my place to any such services, because that also affects my privacy. but it's also a bit weird, because I don't feel I have the right to ask if they have such an app, let alone asking them to turn it off.

          so, my point is not about not trusting your SO, but about not trusting random companies, because they are repeatedly showing both neglect and a big tendency to sell user data and lie to their benefit.

          E 1 Reply Last reply
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          • return2ozma@lemmy.worldR [email protected]
            This post did not contain any content.
            Q This user is from outside of this forum
            Q This user is from outside of this forum
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            wrote last edited by
            #353

            Meanwhile, I often work with immediate risk of death or injury and, by law, I can not be equipped with a panic button for rescue purposes, as it is deemed unlawful surveillance of the worker.

            I am supposed to warn in advance what work I will be doing and agree on a reasonable time window for it to be done safely, before having to call in again to say I am not yet dead and if the task is done or not.

            captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.worksC P 2 Replies Last reply
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            • D [email protected]

              Being tracked is control enough for me. But I do understand it in dangerous situations, returning through forest at night etc.

              S This user is from outside of this forum
              S This user is from outside of this forum
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              wrote last edited by
              #354

              I don't see it as being tracked, though. I trust my wife (and my sister) to not be checking it 24/7.

              1 Reply Last reply
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              • O [email protected]

                For me, privacy is safety. The thing im most worried about is the government snatching me up in the night.

                Yay, threat profiles!

                S This user is from outside of this forum
                S This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote last edited by
                #355

                Well, seems that having a trusted party with your location would help with that, fellow inhabitant of a fascist regime.

                O 1 Reply Last reply
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                • S [email protected]

                  Well, seems that having a trusted party with your location would help with that, fellow inhabitant of a fascist regime.

                  O This user is from outside of this forum
                  O This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote last edited by
                  #356

                  Please !ever get within fifty feet of anyone doijg anything you think is remotely spicy, for your safety and theirs.

                  S 1 Reply Last reply
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                  • B [email protected]

                    Quit cheating or split up. It’s not complicated.

                    I This user is from outside of this forum
                    I This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote last edited by
                    #357

                    Yes, most sane persons I know have disavowed the entire concept of being with someone else.
                    And archaic leftover of a more dependant age.
                    Now it's just handcuffs with no upside
                    Ending cheating is as easy as ending "being in a couple"
                    and for people who can imagine life without this crutch
                    it becomes more and more foreign why anyone
                    would ever accept such an oppressive custom into their household

                    R 1 Reply Last reply
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                    • blisterexe@lemmy.zipB [email protected]

                      People my age have their whole friend groups on location sharing apps like that, it's awful.

                      T This user is from outside of this forum
                      T This user is from outside of this forum
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                      wrote last edited by
                      #358

                      Some friends of mine have literally hundreds of friends with their Snapchat location sharing on

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                      • dozzi92@lemmy.worldD [email protected]

                        These same people who are suggesting you live in fear of your partner dying are also afraid their partner might find their porn collection. It's staggering. To describe location or password sharing as "vile" just puts into perspective the kind of people you're talking to.

                        I knowy wife's phone password, must have trust issues. Or we go on car rides and her phone is connected and the kids want me to put a song on. Should we pull over so she can unlock her phone? Vile.

                        Too many folks think it's to keep tabs on people, because that's presumably how they'd use it, they'd sit there and watch it.

                        douglasg14b@lemmy.worldD This user is from outside of this forum
                        douglasg14b@lemmy.worldD This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote last edited by
                        #359

                        FR. It's just projection.

                        1 Reply Last reply
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                        • cole@lemdro.idC [email protected]

                          Google map's location sharing does not even impact battery life.

                          T This user is from outside of this forum
                          T This user is from outside of this forum
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                          wrote last edited by
                          #360

                          This says otherwise https://geofinder.mobi/blog/does-location-sharing-drain-battery/

                          cole@lemdro.idC 1 Reply Last reply
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                          • W [email protected]

                            We both trust each other implicitly and neither of us consider it a breach of privacy, but rather a willing sharing of information.

                            I was unclear on what I meant by the breach of privacy. there's another comment chain discussing that but tldr: it's not about sharing your location with your SO, but entrusting profit driven careless companies with both of your sensitive information.

                            Additionally, there's something I haven't written in that other thread. It's not only about the both of you. I as a host (in my house, this does not apply to public places) don't want to have guests who's phones are uploading their visit at my place to any such services, because that also affects my privacy. but it's also a bit weird, because I don't feel I have the right to ask if they have such an app, let alone asking them to turn it off.

                            so, my point is not about not trusting your SO, but about not trusting random companies, because they are repeatedly showing both neglect and a big tendency to sell user data and lie to their benefit.

                            E This user is from outside of this forum
                            E This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote last edited by
                            #361

                            This has nothing to do with the tracking. You should have the same problem with anyone that has location turned on in their phone. Turning on GPS tracking for me and my wife has not given Google new data on our locations, as we use Google maps to navigate as is. I reject the premise that I'm violating someone else's privacy by doing so. I've also opted out of any app using my location without my express permission. You certainly wouldn't have the right to ask someone to turn something like that off simply because you don't trust the corporations on the other end, because you have no idea what service, what precautions they've taken, and if they're actively sharing. If you were going to do so, then you should also inspect people's phones for having location turned on, and check all their apps permissions for location.

                            W 1 Reply Last reply
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                            • B [email protected]

                              Quit cheating or split up. It’s not complicated.

                              B This user is from outside of this forum
                              B This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote last edited by
                              #362

                              Also like, have we all forgotten about the possibility of someone having two phones.

                              1 Reply Last reply
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                              • E [email protected]

                                This has nothing to do with the tracking. You should have the same problem with anyone that has location turned on in their phone. Turning on GPS tracking for me and my wife has not given Google new data on our locations, as we use Google maps to navigate as is. I reject the premise that I'm violating someone else's privacy by doing so. I've also opted out of any app using my location without my express permission. You certainly wouldn't have the right to ask someone to turn something like that off simply because you don't trust the corporations on the other end, because you have no idea what service, what precautions they've taken, and if they're actively sharing. If you were going to do so, then you should also inspect people's phones for having location turned on, and check all their apps permissions for location.

                                W This user is from outside of this forum
                                W This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote last edited by
                                #363

                                This has nothing to do with the tracking.

                                what is "this"? location sharing apps? if yes, why do you think these are unrelated?

                                You should have the same problem with anyone that has location turned on in their phone.

                                I don't care about a random person having location turned on. why should I? there's plenty of offline uses for that function, I use it regularly. maps, sports tracking, reminders, ...

                                , as we use Google maps to navigate as is. I reject the premise that I'm violating someone else's privacy by doing so.

                                that's ok, when it only affects you. but when you are navigating to a friend's place, with this thinking you are just ignorant about what is actually happening. I'm genuinely sorry to point this out.

                                this is a bit similar to when people refuse the fact that by uploading a picture of someone to facebook they might be violating their privacy.
                                or when people haphazardly allow contacts access to random apps, or to apps like facebook messenger because it asks so nicely, and then disclaim responsibility over where does that contact information go.

                                You certainly wouldn't have the right to ask someone to turn something like that off simply because you don't trust the corporations on the other end,

                                not just the corporations, but the tech hygiene of the average person. I am aware that it sounds bad, and I hate it that it is warranted.

                                E 1 Reply Last reply
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                                • return2ozma@lemmy.worldR [email protected]
                                  This post did not contain any content.
                                  P This user is from outside of this forum
                                  P This user is from outside of this forum
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                                  wrote last edited by [email protected]
                                  #364

                                  I've never really bothered with relationships, and everytime I see some shit like this, it validates that choice.

                                  jackbydev@programming.devJ 1 Reply Last reply
                                  1
                                  • deafboy@lemmy.worldD [email protected]

                                    Also turn on the electric blanket if we are out and heading towards home after 9pm

                                    Make sure it defaults to OFF after power loss. My colleague had a close call when the smart plug with the infra panel plugged in decided to turn on after the power outage.

                                    M This user is from outside of this forum
                                    M This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #365

                                    Yes we have several of the AthomTech ones that ship with Esphome. There's a power loss setting on them "on, off, as before"

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • return2ozma@lemmy.worldR [email protected]
                                      This post did not contain any content.
                                      starman2112@sh.itjust.worksS This user is from outside of this forum
                                      starman2112@sh.itjust.worksS This user is from outside of this forum
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                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #366

                                      My best friend drove me to work the other day. We missed a turn and had to take a detour. Not two blocks after that missed turn, his girlfriend calls him asking where he's going lmao

                                      I would be willing to share locations because I worry about people and don't want them to worry about me, but I'll toss this phone in a Blendtec blender before I install an application that gives some creep in fuckin Dayton Ohio my and my girlfriend's GPS coordinates 24/7. Tasker does the job well enough anyhow

                                      jackbydev@programming.devJ 1 Reply Last reply
                                      3
                                      • C [email protected]

                                        Would you mind sharing your automation yaml for the garden lights? I'd love to do more with Bluetooth beacons but don't know enough about how they work to do anything with them.

                                        M This user is from outside of this forum
                                        M This user is from outside of this forum
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                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #367

                                        We have it hidden in the letterbox. The mobile app has a Bluetooth beacon setting where you can have it report either specified beacons to HA, or all of them and you can filter for the ones you want at that end.

                                        The automation looks for the beacon to be reported from either of 2 devices and then switches the lights on, quite basic.

                                        We have a separate automation that turns the scanning for beacons setting in the phone app on at dusk and off at 3am. And another that turns the garden lights off after 10 min triggered by them being switched on

                                        description: ""
                                        mode: single
                                        triggers:
                                          - value_template: >-
                                              {{ state_attr('sensor.phone1_beacon_monitor',
                                              'b5b182c7-eab1-4988-aa99-bd9_1_2') != None  }}
                                            trigger: template
                                          - value_template: >-
                                              {{ state_attr('sensor.phone2_beacon_monitor',
                                              'b5b182c7-eab1-4988-aa99-bd9_1_2') != None  }}
                                            trigger: template
                                        conditions: []
                                        actions:
                                          - data: {}
                                            target:
                                              entity_id:
                                                - switch.garden_lights
                                                - switch.deck_light_table
                                                - switch.deck_light_bbq
                                            action: switch.turn_on
                                          - event: beaconDetected
                                            event_data: {}
                                          - if:
                                              - condition: numeric_state
                                                entity_id: zone.home
                                                below: 1
                                            then:
                                              - data: {}
                                                target:
                                                  device_id:
                                                    - b5c12ce8343fda7810b69c24f
                                                    - a71515f86d7d34ef570acbe8
                                                action: light.turn_on
                                        
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                                        • S [email protected]

                                          Sounds like you guys have some serious trust issues. If sharing your location with each other devolves that quickly, it ain’t the tech making problems.

                                          S This user is from outside of this forum
                                          S This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #368

                                          I already stated that it only happened once at the start of the relationship. I trust my partner completely and she has never second-guessed me since.

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