What do I make of this person I met online?
-
wrote last edited by [email protected]
I have this online female friend and we have been friends for almost 4 years now. We met in an online game. She's the one who asked my social media ID so we can play together. And she seems to have done to a lot of people as well. So she was kinda collecting a lot of friends. Have seen people get nto her lobbies and say "Thank you so much for listening to me the other day," "You are really a kind person" and so on. There was this one guy used to address her as his "bi*ch". At this I thought they were a couple but apparently they met on the game and known eachother for only a few months and were just friends.
She used to text me first whenever she was about to play. And used to check on me if I hadn't appeared on the game for a week or two.
Later we got close. I stopped gaming but she still plays other games. But after I got close, she stopped texting me first. Only would chat with me if I texted her first. I asked her why she never texts me about anything. She goes "Uhh I am not that type to text people first" "I never do that to anyone" "I think you're just busy" and so on.
So all this weird behaviour had me thinking why she is doing all this? What are her motives? What kind of person is she?
I did ask her these questions many times but only got vague answers. She also never gives anything about her other online friends and usually becomes defensive when I bring them up in a conversation.
-
I have this online female friend and we have been friends for almost 4 years now. We met in an online game. She's the one who asked my social media ID so we can play together. And she seems to have done to a lot of people as well. So she was kinda collecting a lot of friends. Have seen people get nto her lobbies and say "Thank you so much for listening to me the other day," "You are really a kind person" and so on. There was this one guy used to address her as his "bi*ch". At this I thought they were a couple but apparently they met on the game and known eachother for only a few months and were just friends.
She used to text me first whenever she was about to play. And used to check on me if I hadn't appeared on the game for a week or two.
Later we got close. I stopped gaming but she still plays other games. But after I got close, she stopped texting me first. Only would chat with me if I texted her first. I asked her why she never texts me about anything. She goes "Uhh I am not that type to text people first" "I never do that to anyone" "I think you're just busy" and so on.
So all this weird behaviour had me thinking why she is doing all this? What are her motives? What kind of person is she?
I did ask her these questions many times but only got vague answers. She also never gives anything about her other online friends and usually becomes defensive when I bring them up in a conversation.
Kinda just seems like she likes to play games with people and so had a list of people she could contact to play. You used to be a reliable candidate, and now you're not.
I don't know what you envision as "getting close," but is it possible she didn't view y'all as being close?
I'm guessing y'all have asymmetrical goals and expectations. She realized this and adapted.
-
Kinda just seems like she likes to play games with people and so had a list of people she could contact to play. You used to be a reliable candidate, and now you're not.
I don't know what you envision as "getting close," but is it possible she didn't view y'all as being close?
I'm guessing y'all have asymmetrical goals and expectations. She realized this and adapted.
Honestly this is not the case. I have been very disconnected for the 1st year or so meeting her. Our texts spaced around hours or even days. We used to go back and forth sending delayed texts before the topics dies.
Later I have started being more active and she did the same. She was the one who said I have gotten close to her and not just my assumption.
Expectations wise, I was very clear from the start. But I am guessing she did had other expectations from how she entertained such expectations from her other friends.
-
I have this online female friend and we have been friends for almost 4 years now. We met in an online game. She's the one who asked my social media ID so we can play together. And she seems to have done to a lot of people as well. So she was kinda collecting a lot of friends. Have seen people get nto her lobbies and say "Thank you so much for listening to me the other day," "You are really a kind person" and so on. There was this one guy used to address her as his "bi*ch". At this I thought they were a couple but apparently they met on the game and known eachother for only a few months and were just friends.
She used to text me first whenever she was about to play. And used to check on me if I hadn't appeared on the game for a week or two.
Later we got close. I stopped gaming but she still plays other games. But after I got close, she stopped texting me first. Only would chat with me if I texted her first. I asked her why she never texts me about anything. She goes "Uhh I am not that type to text people first" "I never do that to anyone" "I think you're just busy" and so on.
So all this weird behaviour had me thinking why she is doing all this? What are her motives? What kind of person is she?
I did ask her these questions many times but only got vague answers. She also never gives anything about her other online friends and usually becomes defensive when I bring them up in a conversation.
As someone else said, it seems pretty obvious that you two have different asynchronous goals. Be a gentleman and let her be; poor girl.
-
I have this online female friend and we have been friends for almost 4 years now. We met in an online game. She's the one who asked my social media ID so we can play together. And she seems to have done to a lot of people as well. So she was kinda collecting a lot of friends. Have seen people get nto her lobbies and say "Thank you so much for listening to me the other day," "You are really a kind person" and so on. There was this one guy used to address her as his "bi*ch". At this I thought they were a couple but apparently they met on the game and known eachother for only a few months and were just friends.
She used to text me first whenever she was about to play. And used to check on me if I hadn't appeared on the game for a week or two.
Later we got close. I stopped gaming but she still plays other games. But after I got close, she stopped texting me first. Only would chat with me if I texted her first. I asked her why she never texts me about anything. She goes "Uhh I am not that type to text people first" "I never do that to anyone" "I think you're just busy" and so on.
So all this weird behaviour had me thinking why she is doing all this? What are her motives? What kind of person is she?
I did ask her these questions many times but only got vague answers. She also never gives anything about her other online friends and usually becomes defensive when I bring them up in a conversation.
Don't waste your time any further on her. I've seen females do this countless of times. They either get jaded/bored because now people switch people they talk to (mainly online) like its a video game collection. Imagine having 50 of your favorite games and you keep switching which one you play without even fully enjoying one or finishing it. I THINK however she is one of those females that once they have your attention they play hard to get. I went to a gym for 7 weeks one time and every day this female would watch me but I was focus on fitness. One day after she kept hovering around me in said F it and just got her number she talked for 2 days then just stopped. No issue, no awkward moment, no creepiness nothing. They just want to be chased. Don't chase, replace
-
As someone else said, it seems pretty obvious that you two have different asynchronous goals. Be a gentleman and let her be; poor girl.
It really wasn't the case at all, I can assure you that. I really don't pursue people if they didn't like me. I have confirmed with her many times, if I was bothering her and her answer was always no.
I want to all to think from my perspective. My assumption is she was collecting these friends and was liking all the attention they were giving her. She gate-keeping her friends to only herself and not letting us all be one group is kinda telling something I believe.
-
Don't waste your time any further on her. I've seen females do this countless of times. They either get jaded/bored because now people switch people they talk to (mainly online) like its a video game collection. Imagine having 50 of your favorite games and you keep switching which one you play without even fully enjoying one or finishing it. I THINK however she is one of those females that once they have your attention they play hard to get. I went to a gym for 7 weeks one time and every day this female would watch me but I was focus on fitness. One day after she kept hovering around me in said F it and just got her number she talked for 2 days then just stopped. No issue, no awkward moment, no creepiness nothing. They just want to be chased. Don't chase, replace
wrote last edited by [email protected]females
Did you mean "women?"
females
Perhaps you meant "women?"
female
Pretty sure you actually meant "woman."
No issue, no awkward moment, no creepiness nothing.
You sure about that? Your disdain, misunderstanding, and disregard for women in general was on full display in this one post. Its entirely possible that within 2 days of conversion the woman you were talking with realized you weren't the kind of person she wanted in her life.
-
Don't waste your time any further on her. I've seen females do this countless of times. They either get jaded/bored because now people switch people they talk to (mainly online) like its a video game collection. Imagine having 50 of your favorite games and you keep switching which one you play without even fully enjoying one or finishing it. I THINK however she is one of those females that once they have your attention they play hard to get. I went to a gym for 7 weeks one time and every day this female would watch me but I was focus on fitness. One day after she kept hovering around me in said F it and just got her number she talked for 2 days then just stopped. No issue, no awkward moment, no creepiness nothing. They just want to be chased. Don't chase, replace
Really she does feels like this type. They poke for our attention and once they get it, they want us to chase them from there on. But I kept giving her benefit of doubt all these years. I have tried separating many times too but couldn't do it cuz she became my only friend I was close with. And she still is my only close friend who knows me deeply.
Maybe I should try picking up a hobby or something. Let's see.
-
I have this online female friend and we have been friends for almost 4 years now. We met in an online game. She's the one who asked my social media ID so we can play together. And she seems to have done to a lot of people as well. So she was kinda collecting a lot of friends. Have seen people get nto her lobbies and say "Thank you so much for listening to me the other day," "You are really a kind person" and so on. There was this one guy used to address her as his "bi*ch". At this I thought they were a couple but apparently they met on the game and known eachother for only a few months and were just friends.
She used to text me first whenever she was about to play. And used to check on me if I hadn't appeared on the game for a week or two.
Later we got close. I stopped gaming but she still plays other games. But after I got close, she stopped texting me first. Only would chat with me if I texted her first. I asked her why she never texts me about anything. She goes "Uhh I am not that type to text people first" "I never do that to anyone" "I think you're just busy" and so on.
So all this weird behaviour had me thinking why she is doing all this? What are her motives? What kind of person is she?
I did ask her these questions many times but only got vague answers. She also never gives anything about her other online friends and usually becomes defensive when I bring them up in a conversation.
As to the not texting you first thing: one possibly is she gets a lot of unwanted male attention from those who over-interpret her niceness as romantic interest, and she is really leery of encouraging anyone. She might be afraid you have such interest.
-
Really she does feels like this type. They poke for our attention and once they get it, they want us to chase them from there on. But I kept giving her benefit of doubt all these years. I have tried separating many times too but couldn't do it cuz she became my only friend I was close with. And she still is my only close friend who knows me deeply.
Maybe I should try picking up a hobby or something. Let's see.
You don't talk about 'close friends' like that.
-
I have this online female friend and we have been friends for almost 4 years now. We met in an online game. She's the one who asked my social media ID so we can play together. And she seems to have done to a lot of people as well. So she was kinda collecting a lot of friends. Have seen people get nto her lobbies and say "Thank you so much for listening to me the other day," "You are really a kind person" and so on. There was this one guy used to address her as his "bi*ch". At this I thought they were a couple but apparently they met on the game and known eachother for only a few months and were just friends.
She used to text me first whenever she was about to play. And used to check on me if I hadn't appeared on the game for a week or two.
Later we got close. I stopped gaming but she still plays other games. But after I got close, she stopped texting me first. Only would chat with me if I texted her first. I asked her why she never texts me about anything. She goes "Uhh I am not that type to text people first" "I never do that to anyone" "I think you're just busy" and so on.
So all this weird behaviour had me thinking why she is doing all this? What are her motives? What kind of person is she?
I did ask her these questions many times but only got vague answers. She also never gives anything about her other online friends and usually becomes defensive when I bring them up in a conversation.
You can stop being friends with people at any time for any reason. You liked them then, you can ask them if anything changed and that you liked them previously but not a fan now. Then if they don't want to act like that anymore you leave the relationship. It sucks but she's not going to be that person anymore, it seems like.
-
I have this online female friend and we have been friends for almost 4 years now. We met in an online game. She's the one who asked my social media ID so we can play together. And she seems to have done to a lot of people as well. So she was kinda collecting a lot of friends. Have seen people get nto her lobbies and say "Thank you so much for listening to me the other day," "You are really a kind person" and so on. There was this one guy used to address her as his "bi*ch". At this I thought they were a couple but apparently they met on the game and known eachother for only a few months and were just friends.
She used to text me first whenever she was about to play. And used to check on me if I hadn't appeared on the game for a week or two.
Later we got close. I stopped gaming but she still plays other games. But after I got close, she stopped texting me first. Only would chat with me if I texted her first. I asked her why she never texts me about anything. She goes "Uhh I am not that type to text people first" "I never do that to anyone" "I think you're just busy" and so on.
So all this weird behaviour had me thinking why she is doing all this? What are her motives? What kind of person is she?
I did ask her these questions many times but only got vague answers. She also never gives anything about her other online friends and usually becomes defensive when I bring them up in a conversation.
Consider that you might have started being annoying. Some people just like freedom or are used to it and when they feel like you're becoming demanding and at the same time not perfectly matching their lifestyle, they subconsciously distance away. I don't really know anything about this, this is pure speculation, so take it with a grain of salt. But tbh I think I'm a bit like this myself.
-
Really she does feels like this type. They poke for our attention and once they get it, they want us to chase them from there on. But I kept giving her benefit of doubt all these years. I have tried separating many times too but couldn't do it cuz she became my only friend I was close with. And she still is my only close friend who knows me deeply.
Maybe I should try picking up a hobby or something. Let's see.
Yeah, everyone should have a couple hobbies. I highly recommend FPV drones.
-
It really wasn't the case at all, I can assure you that. I really don't pursue people if they didn't like me. I have confirmed with her many times, if I was bothering her and her answer was always no.
I want to all to think from my perspective. My assumption is she was collecting these friends and was liking all the attention they were giving her. She gate-keeping her friends to only herself and not letting us all be one group is kinda telling something I believe.
Have you ever suspected any of your male friends of doing any of this?
If a gaming friend started asking me about my intentions with other gaming friends that they don't know, I'd be VERY creeped out by that. It sounds to me like you were looking for more than friends and got disappointed when you discovered that she just wants gaming partners.
-
It really wasn't the case at all, I can assure you that. I really don't pursue people if they didn't like me. I have confirmed with her many times, if I was bothering her and her answer was always no.
I want to all to think from my perspective. My assumption is she was collecting these friends and was liking all the attention they were giving her. She gate-keeping her friends to only herself and not letting us all be one group is kinda telling something I believe.
Who knows. Maybe.
But for the love of god, don't think if a women is talking to you it has to be out of romantic interest.
Place yourself in her shoes. You're talking to a guy that's good at a game you like, so you team up. Great. You talk about your life ecc, like you would with a friend. Because he is your friend. Then your friend stops playing the game you liked and nonetheless reclaims that you spend time with him because, well, he's infatuated with you and though you two had something going on without any evidence; completely misunderstanding your intentions and betraying your trust. Idk, I wouldn't feel like hanging out with him anymore.Just remember that there are male-female friendships and not everything needs to be romantic.
-
I have this online female friend and we have been friends for almost 4 years now. We met in an online game. She's the one who asked my social media ID so we can play together. And she seems to have done to a lot of people as well. So she was kinda collecting a lot of friends. Have seen people get nto her lobbies and say "Thank you so much for listening to me the other day," "You are really a kind person" and so on. There was this one guy used to address her as his "bi*ch". At this I thought they were a couple but apparently they met on the game and known eachother for only a few months and were just friends.
She used to text me first whenever she was about to play. And used to check on me if I hadn't appeared on the game for a week or two.
Later we got close. I stopped gaming but she still plays other games. But after I got close, she stopped texting me first. Only would chat with me if I texted her first. I asked her why she never texts me about anything. She goes "Uhh I am not that type to text people first" "I never do that to anyone" "I think you're just busy" and so on.
So all this weird behaviour had me thinking why she is doing all this? What are her motives? What kind of person is she?
I did ask her these questions many times but only got vague answers. She also never gives anything about her other online friends and usually becomes defensive when I bring them up in a conversation.
First thing, a hard truth.
She is not, and never was, that in to you. She never considered you to be more than a casual friend, and never wanted more out of the relationship.
Second, she, almost certainly, has a difficult time finding reliable people to game with that don't ultimately confess some unrequited affection for her. As a result, she will instinctively pull away from relationships she feels are heading in that direction.
Something I wish I had learned earlier, If you have to initiate every conversation, you can just stop. She's moved on, you can too. You'll be ok guy.
-
Don't waste your time any further on her. I've seen females do this countless of times. They either get jaded/bored because now people switch people they talk to (mainly online) like its a video game collection. Imagine having 50 of your favorite games and you keep switching which one you play without even fully enjoying one or finishing it. I THINK however she is one of those females that once they have your attention they play hard to get. I went to a gym for 7 weeks one time and every day this female would watch me but I was focus on fitness. One day after she kept hovering around me in said F it and just got her number she talked for 2 days then just stopped. No issue, no awkward moment, no creepiness nothing. They just want to be chased. Don't chase, replace
one of those females that once they have your attention they play hard to get
Might be a thing, but your choice of words is bold, to say the least. I wish there was a way to tell if they "want to be chased" or are sincerely uninterested, because I really don't want to bother people who dislike me, and the way you say it ("chase") adds a bit of predatory vibe to it, which, if everyone is interested, can be hot actually, but if not, it multiplies the creepiness.
-
females
Did you mean "women?"
females
Perhaps you meant "women?"
female
Pretty sure you actually meant "woman."
No issue, no awkward moment, no creepiness nothing.
You sure about that? Your disdain, misunderstanding, and disregard for women in general was on full display in this one post. Its entirely possible that within 2 days of conversion the woman you were talking with realized you weren't the kind of person she wanted in her life.
I mean females. You people are so weak you think female is an insult.
-
I have this online female friend and we have been friends for almost 4 years now. We met in an online game. She's the one who asked my social media ID so we can play together. And she seems to have done to a lot of people as well. So she was kinda collecting a lot of friends. Have seen people get nto her lobbies and say "Thank you so much for listening to me the other day," "You are really a kind person" and so on. There was this one guy used to address her as his "bi*ch". At this I thought they were a couple but apparently they met on the game and known eachother for only a few months and were just friends.
She used to text me first whenever she was about to play. And used to check on me if I hadn't appeared on the game for a week or two.
Later we got close. I stopped gaming but she still plays other games. But after I got close, she stopped texting me first. Only would chat with me if I texted her first. I asked her why she never texts me about anything. She goes "Uhh I am not that type to text people first" "I never do that to anyone" "I think you're just busy" and so on.
So all this weird behaviour had me thinking why she is doing all this? What are her motives? What kind of person is she?
I did ask her these questions many times but only got vague answers. She also never gives anything about her other online friends and usually becomes defensive when I bring them up in a conversation.
why she is doing all this? What are her motives? What kind of person is she?
She wants to play games with people.
Her motives are to have friends to play games with.
She is a gamer "type of person". -
Honestly this is not the case. I have been very disconnected for the 1st year or so meeting her. Our texts spaced around hours or even days. We used to go back and forth sending delayed texts before the topics dies.
Later I have started being more active and she did the same. She was the one who said I have gotten close to her and not just my assumption.
Expectations wise, I was very clear from the start. But I am guessing she did had other expectations from how she entertained such expectations from her other friends.
Obviously you don't know if that is the case or not. You are asking what is going on, and then denying every response that you don't like.
You used to be a reliable candidate [for gaming], and now you’re not.
She wasn't looking for an internet boyfriend, she was looking for friends to play video games with. You stopped playing. She isn't being rude, she just isn't inviting you to partake in a hobby she still enjoys but knows you don't do anymore.
Expectations wise, I was very clear from the start
Funny, you don't seem to mention what these very clear expectations are in your post anywhere. What were/are they?
