Why American Films Are Objectively The Best, post # 1/17
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This is a shit post
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Tell me you haven't seen the uncut version of Irreversible without telling me you haven't seen the uncut version of Irreversible. That's like, peak entertainment. Thank me for the trauma later.
I got nauseous watching that movie.
Not from the content matter, but rather the stupid 'artsy' camera rolls.What makes the uncut version better?
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I have watched a fair few nigh incoherent French movies with a plot that is simultaneously either the most complex or most banal story ever written (that doesn’t get resolved at the end). You could find me at the one specialty cinema in Beirut every other weekend before it completely collapsed financially in 2020 back when our economy did the funni
I get that a lot of this is turning people off but this is shockingly accurate of a lot of mid arthouse stuff. It’s like trash TV but for movie tryhards. I love it. For the French ones, I almost feel like the experience is worsened by my grasp of the language.
Since then I’ve all but stopped watching movies and even series and have moved to games full time. There’s so much more genuinely fun weird interesting shit.
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I got nauseous watching that movie.
Not from the content matter, but rather the stupid 'artsy' camera rolls.What makes the uncut version better?
Watching that movie was a drug-infested nightmare. The drugs were my fault, the nightmares were on the movie. The fire extinguisher scene went on for what felt an eternity. Showing the head for punch after punch after punch after punch after punch after punch after punch after punch after punch after punch after punch after punch after punch after punch after punch after punch after punch until it was a pulpy mess not recognizable as a head with blood seeping out of it. Actually, I think the right-hand side of the meme is a pretty apt categorization for that movie, except, maybe, the unenjoyable part. Enjoyability just depends on your own perversions and morbidity. And the title of the movie is a lie. I reversed the fire extinguisher scene: it becomes a love story of a kind and dedicated fire extinguisher reconstructing a dead man's head. I sometimes masturbate to that.
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I have watched a fair few nigh incoherent French movies with a plot that is simultaneously either the most complex or most banal story ever written (that doesn’t get resolved at the end). You could find me at the one specialty cinema in Beirut every other weekend before it completely collapsed financially in 2020 back when our economy did the funni
I get that a lot of this is turning people off but this is shockingly accurate of a lot of mid arthouse stuff. It’s like trash TV but for movie tryhards. I love it. For the French ones, I almost feel like the experience is worsened by my grasp of the language.
Since then I’ve all but stopped watching movies and even series and have moved to games full time. There’s so much more genuinely fun weird interesting shit.
Oooh, play anything good recently? I'm still high off Inscryption, I think I played it for 22 hours the first weekend I got it. Love that game!
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Tell me you haven't seen the uncut version of Irreversible without telling me you haven't seen the uncut version of Irreversible. That's like, peak entertainment. Thank me for the trauma later.
Wait, if he's called Irreversable, why can we see him?
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this post is amazing and i can't belive the upvote/downvote ratio on it
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And then all the american directors go to some film festival in Butlick, Croatia. Where they fawn over the movie 'Jeg Spiser Pis'.
And then they give a passionate interview about how the original Jeg Spiser Pis short film from 1993 informed their entire creative journey, before immediately going on to direct Mario Movie Minecraft 3 starring Dwayne the Rock Johnson as Sheep and Tilda Swinton as Cat Bowser 64 ft. Ariana Grande burger
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Oooh, play anything good recently? I'm still high off Inscryption, I think I played it for 22 hours the first weekend I got it. Love that game!
In no particular order, here are some games I’ve enjoyed most in the past decade or so (and found most interesting to shill to my friends):
- The Roottrees are Dead (online sleuthing game, with a cool but slightly campy story, wears its Obra Dinn influence on its sleeve a bit too obviously for some people)
- Workers and Resources: Soviet Republic (Cities Skylines for people who understand economics are more than just dollar signs and tweets, it’s more like Factorio than SimCity)
- Hacknet (Learn basic command line stuff in a game about hacking)
- Duskers (atmospherically amazing game about controlling distant drones in hostile environments. Genuinely chilling)
- Chants of Senaar (language deciphering game)
- Outer Wilds (le le le dae hidden gem for a reason)
- Dyson Sphere Project (more Factorio)
- Satisfactory (you guessed it, more Factorio, but very different environment than most of these games)
- Factorio
- Shapez (minimalistic Factorio, with a less minimalistic sequel)
- Nomifactory (Minecraft modpack that was formerly known as Omnifactory. It’s more Factorio.)
- Curse of the Golden Idol (finally a good retro adventure mystery thing)
- Return of the Obra Dinn (immaculate game.)
- CHR$143 (Zachlike-ish)
- Kerbal Space Program (my next obsession)
- INFRA (one of my favorite games of all time, I’ve written about this extensively, a sort of urbex walking simulator with incredible atmosphere, deep deep lore, amazing world building, and light puzzles, that goes on for about 40 more hours than you expect it to)
- Hexcells Trilogy (puzzles)
- Hexologic (similar puzzles)
- Baba Is You (puzzles that make you think you’re an idiot)
- NaissancE (I don’t know how to describe this, I think it’s free)
- Manifold Garden (you dreamed about this game when you were 8 years old, decades before it existed)
- The Big Con (be gay do crime 90s)
- Death Stranding (this game is so boring, I played it for 200 hours and got every achievement, I love it, it sucks)
- The Forgotten City (this started its life as a Skyrim mod and still has that baggage)
- Mostly Intense Monster Defense (PvZ homage)
- The Witcher (1) (CRPG with a cool world. Needs a few mods to cut down on tedium. Pretty different from its sequels but it has a special place in my heart)
- Binary Domain (absolute schlock, but from a previous era of gaming. Not necessarily a good game, but cool to see from a historical perspective.)
- Cultist Simulator (needs an eternity of patience but I promise there is something in there)
- SLUDGE LIFE (SLUDGE LIFE)
- What Remains of Edith Finch (I fucking love walking simulators with good writing and cool art)
- Promesa (obscure walking simulator, it’s barely a game, I love it)
- CUCCCHI (check above description, same guy. Artistic showcase of a painter called Enzo Cuccchi. I’m not a modern art guy, but seeing these works contorted into worlds to walk through… a unique and interesting experience. Soundtrack is someone’s once-lost old experimental tracks and it absolutely slaps)
- Please Touch the Artwork 1 and 2 (one of them is free, funded by the Belgian public art fund. Weird and cool)
- Betrayal at Club Low (part of a series of games by Cosmo D, this one is different from the previous few. The first, Off Peak, is free, but it’s also the least polished. Astonishingly excellent music, there’s some cool lore in this series. The art style is a bit out there but this guy’s stuff is gold)
- Engare and Tandis (mathematical patterns puzzlers, I promise they’re so cool)
- What the Golf? (An actually good mobile game. I mostly played it with a controller on my TV lol)
- Cities Skylines (my beloved)
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I think Eurovision Song Contest should have like a sister competition called the Eurovision Film Contest, where each country produces one film and enters it into the contest for people to vote on.
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I think Eurovision Song Contest should have like a sister competition called the Eurovision Film Contest, where each country produces one film and enters it into the contest for people to vote on.
Gonna be a long evening
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Obligatory post highlighting some oft the good stuff thats come out of Europe (without Britain or Australia):
- The Devil's bath
- Portrait of a young woman in flames
- Call me by your name
- Another round
- Confessions of Felix Krull
- Sun and concrete
- All Quiet on the Western Front
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this post is amazing and i can't belive the upvote/downvote ratio on it
Despite the name of the comm, most people don't know what a shitpost is, compared to a meme.
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I think Eurovision Song Contest should have like a sister competition called the Eurovision Film Contest, where each country produces one film and enters it into the contest for people to vote on.
Why would anyone want 30 movies about incest and matricide starring rat-faced euros?????
They need a Murica Fuck Yeah film competition, 50 different movies with big explosions starring roided out dudes and busty blonde chicks. Now that's cinema!
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Despite the name of the comm, most people don't know what a shitpost is, compared to a meme.
Upvote from me for being a real shitpost. This is fast becoming one of my favourite comms.
