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  3. How to learn to accept people?

How to learn to accept people?

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Ask Lemmy
asklemmy
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  • R This user is from outside of this forum
    R This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    (A funny meme for you, if you’re wondering about the picture)

    So to preface, like everyone else, I came from reddit, a website that I left due to some subs that I don’t want to name as they are personal to me.

    The reason I left is because it got flooded with stupid people, and I realised that the only reason I kept using Reddit was to argue with those fools.

    But the thing is, that simply cutting out reddit didn’t solve my problem, which is that I really hate a lot of people and I’m not even going to deny it.

    A lot of them deserve it tho, I’m mostly talking about those jerks who try to stample on others to feel better about themselves. I hate how this word got “ruined” but to be precise I’m talking about “bigoted” people.

    Anyways l just because they “deserve” the hate (or don’t) I still feel angry after meeting people like this and I honestly don’t know what to do now.

    EDIT: made formatting better

    pudutr0n@feddit.clP N curious_canid@lemmy.caC R C 5 Replies Last reply
    55
    • R [email protected]

      (A funny meme for you, if you’re wondering about the picture)

      So to preface, like everyone else, I came from reddit, a website that I left due to some subs that I don’t want to name as they are personal to me.

      The reason I left is because it got flooded with stupid people, and I realised that the only reason I kept using Reddit was to argue with those fools.

      But the thing is, that simply cutting out reddit didn’t solve my problem, which is that I really hate a lot of people and I’m not even going to deny it.

      A lot of them deserve it tho, I’m mostly talking about those jerks who try to stample on others to feel better about themselves. I hate how this word got “ruined” but to be precise I’m talking about “bigoted” people.

      Anyways l just because they “deserve” the hate (or don’t) I still feel angry after meeting people like this and I honestly don’t know what to do now.

      EDIT: made formatting better

      pudutr0n@feddit.clP This user is from outside of this forum
      pudutr0n@feddit.clP This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      You know, intolerant people are people too, just like you and me. They have feelings, hopes and dreams. Biggots are also human beings. Hell, even nazis are people too.
      If listening to this bothers you, I don't know how to break this to you...

      R 1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • pudutr0n@feddit.clP [email protected]

        You know, intolerant people are people too, just like you and me. They have feelings, hopes and dreams. Biggots are also human beings. Hell, even nazis are people too.
        If listening to this bothers you, I don't know how to break this to you...

        R This user is from outside of this forum
        R This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        I get that they’re people, but honestly, I kinda reject them, even though in an ironic way I guess most of them wouldn’t have a problem with me if they didn’t know this about me. I usually keep to myself.
        But I do want to accept that for all their faults they also have a right to live, just for my own sake.

        pudutr0n@feddit.clP 1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • R [email protected]

          I get that they’re people, but honestly, I kinda reject them, even though in an ironic way I guess most of them wouldn’t have a problem with me if they didn’t know this about me. I usually keep to myself.
          But I do want to accept that for all their faults they also have a right to live, just for my own sake.

          pudutr0n@feddit.clP This user is from outside of this forum
          pudutr0n@feddit.clP This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          I think it's valid to want to defend those who you feel compassion and closeness to from those you perceive as threats.

          C 1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • R [email protected]

            (A funny meme for you, if you’re wondering about the picture)

            So to preface, like everyone else, I came from reddit, a website that I left due to some subs that I don’t want to name as they are personal to me.

            The reason I left is because it got flooded with stupid people, and I realised that the only reason I kept using Reddit was to argue with those fools.

            But the thing is, that simply cutting out reddit didn’t solve my problem, which is that I really hate a lot of people and I’m not even going to deny it.

            A lot of them deserve it tho, I’m mostly talking about those jerks who try to stample on others to feel better about themselves. I hate how this word got “ruined” but to be precise I’m talking about “bigoted” people.

            Anyways l just because they “deserve” the hate (or don’t) I still feel angry after meeting people like this and I honestly don’t know what to do now.

            EDIT: made formatting better

            N This user is from outside of this forum
            N This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            You were probably talking to mostly trolls, bots, and "hive minded" people. Avoid that daily dose of cortisol from just being pissed off talking to stupid people in general. Here's a thing you can try: write all the mean things you want to say, but don't post it. Instead, cancel your post, downvote, and move on. It's kind of therapeutic, almost like writing a mean letter you're not going to deliver and destroy. It may not work for you, but being angry talking to stupid people all the time is very draining. Another saying, "You can't win an argument against stupid people. They bring you down to their level and beat you with experience."

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • R [email protected]

              (A funny meme for you, if you’re wondering about the picture)

              So to preface, like everyone else, I came from reddit, a website that I left due to some subs that I don’t want to name as they are personal to me.

              The reason I left is because it got flooded with stupid people, and I realised that the only reason I kept using Reddit was to argue with those fools.

              But the thing is, that simply cutting out reddit didn’t solve my problem, which is that I really hate a lot of people and I’m not even going to deny it.

              A lot of them deserve it tho, I’m mostly talking about those jerks who try to stample on others to feel better about themselves. I hate how this word got “ruined” but to be precise I’m talking about “bigoted” people.

              Anyways l just because they “deserve” the hate (or don’t) I still feel angry after meeting people like this and I honestly don’t know what to do now.

              EDIT: made formatting better

              curious_canid@lemmy.caC This user is from outside of this forum
              curious_canid@lemmy.caC This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              The fact that you're asking the question means you've made a lot of progress already. Give yourself real credit for wanting to be a better person. A lot of people don't ever reach that point.

              I'm working on the same things myself and I don't think there are any simple or complete solutions. All you can do is keep in mind where you want to be, look at where you are, and try to get a little closer all the time.

              You can't control how you feel, but you can control what you do about it. Don't act on your anger. Treat everyone as if they are a decent person, even if you don't really think they are. You don't have to enable them or accept the destructive things they do, but show kindness when you can and show sorrow, instead of anger, when you can't.

              Do this for yourself. Even if nothing else changes, it will change you. And over time, it will have a positive effect on other people, even if you often won't know.

              1 Reply Last reply
              4
              • pudutr0n@feddit.clP [email protected]

                I think it's valid to want to defend those who you feel compassion and closeness to from those you perceive as threats.

                C This user is from outside of this forum
                C This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                I think it's valid to want to defend those who you feel compassion and closeness to from those you perceive as threats.

                Yeah, absolutely. I think what's kinda interesting about that though is that's essentially exactly what racist cops are doing, and wanting to protect people is probably why they joined the force. The problem lies in their perceiving brown people as threats...

                pudutr0n@feddit.clP 1 Reply Last reply
                1
                • C [email protected]

                  I think it's valid to want to defend those who you feel compassion and closeness to from those you perceive as threats.

                  Yeah, absolutely. I think what's kinda interesting about that though is that's essentially exactly what racist cops are doing, and wanting to protect people is probably why they joined the force. The problem lies in their perceiving brown people as threats...

                  pudutr0n@feddit.clP This user is from outside of this forum
                  pudutr0n@feddit.clP This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  Yeah, couldn't agree more. I don't know really know that much about LA cops myself but they have a p bad rep for discrimination of blacks and browns such as myself. I guess they're just following what the higher ups of their organization tell them they have to and conforming their own tribal crowd mentality.

                  We had similar riots here in Chile back in 2019. I don't blame the people who destroyed my neighborhood or tried to set the apt building I live in on fire (several times) any more than I blame the cops shooting bbs at the crowd wildly and taking out kids' eyes... I was upset at both of these things of course but at the same time I realized how foolish it would be to expect any different from anyone of the same background, social ties, world view and living situation.

                  It's crazy how reasonable and kind people with different world views can perceive the exact same situation as inspiring cathartic liberation or the end of civilized society.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  1
                  • R [email protected]

                    (A funny meme for you, if you’re wondering about the picture)

                    So to preface, like everyone else, I came from reddit, a website that I left due to some subs that I don’t want to name as they are personal to me.

                    The reason I left is because it got flooded with stupid people, and I realised that the only reason I kept using Reddit was to argue with those fools.

                    But the thing is, that simply cutting out reddit didn’t solve my problem, which is that I really hate a lot of people and I’m not even going to deny it.

                    A lot of them deserve it tho, I’m mostly talking about those jerks who try to stample on others to feel better about themselves. I hate how this word got “ruined” but to be precise I’m talking about “bigoted” people.

                    Anyways l just because they “deserve” the hate (or don’t) I still feel angry after meeting people like this and I honestly don’t know what to do now.

                    EDIT: made formatting better

                    R This user is from outside of this forum
                    R This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #9

                    If every other person you meet "is stupid" the problem might not be other people.

                    J R 2 Replies Last reply
                    4
                    • R [email protected]

                      If every other person you meet "is stupid" the problem might not be other people.

                      J This user is from outside of this forum
                      J This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #10

                      The problem is "you" for hanging around stupid people.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      1
                      • R [email protected]

                        If every other person you meet "is stupid" the problem might not be other people.

                        R This user is from outside of this forum
                        R This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #11

                        I’m not surrounded by these people. I used to actively go there to argue, I just don’t do it anymore

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • R [email protected]

                          (A funny meme for you, if you’re wondering about the picture)

                          So to preface, like everyone else, I came from reddit, a website that I left due to some subs that I don’t want to name as they are personal to me.

                          The reason I left is because it got flooded with stupid people, and I realised that the only reason I kept using Reddit was to argue with those fools.

                          But the thing is, that simply cutting out reddit didn’t solve my problem, which is that I really hate a lot of people and I’m not even going to deny it.

                          A lot of them deserve it tho, I’m mostly talking about those jerks who try to stample on others to feel better about themselves. I hate how this word got “ruined” but to be precise I’m talking about “bigoted” people.

                          Anyways l just because they “deserve” the hate (or don’t) I still feel angry after meeting people like this and I honestly don’t know what to do now.

                          EDIT: made formatting better

                          C This user is from outside of this forum
                          C This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #12

                          I see you meant trample not sample. I was kicked off reddit for a reason lemme really likes.

                          I have "love your enemies" rattling in my brain for the past few days and I have comparing it to "you have no enemies". They almost seem mutually exclusive but make you act very similarly. I get how trampling on people makes people like me feel better that it's toxic and well if people to trample on me I'd accept it and let them know I understand why they're doing it.

                          I can accept that people drink alcohol, do drugs, and prey on those they precieve weaker than them. I do see people get mad at other people drinking and doing drugs with real passion behind it. it's weird to say it's really a perspective thing.

                          My best advice is to try to understand them. If they're truly angry assholes they can't explain and they'll get frustrated at their inability to articulate and precieve your question as a form of (self projected) hostility, if they are trying to communicate to you they'll make an attempt to say why they're angry. I like to think that if you matured enough you'll just say what you don't like and why you don't like it.

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