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No looky for you!

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Lemmy Shitpost
lemmyshitpost
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  • C [email protected]

    First, you have to remove the dead gnomes. Straight to the compost heap, not in the regular garbage!
    Cause nature and stuff ...

    excrubulent@slrpnk.netE This user is from outside of this forum
    excrubulent@slrpnk.netE This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote on last edited by [email protected]
    #96

    Your gnomes shouldn't be dead, they're technically immortal and a stint in the dishwasher is their ticket out of the salt mines. If you've got dead gnomes the last thing you want is to keep their bodies on the premises. If you leave them in the cartridge they can be revived when you exchange it for the new cartridge. If you put them in the ground they will find... other ways back to their realm, and they will remember what you did.

    And please remember to buy gnomane dishwashing tablets, I cannot stress enough how much they should not be dead.

    Also don't ask me why the gnome salt mine slavery exists, I didn't create it, I just benefit from it.

    C 1 Reply Last reply
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    • excrubulent@slrpnk.netE [email protected]

      Your gnomes shouldn't be dead, they're technically immortal and a stint in the dishwasher is their ticket out of the salt mines. If you've got dead gnomes the last thing you want is to keep their bodies on the premises. If you leave them in the cartridge they can be revived when you exchange it for the new cartridge. If you put them in the ground they will find... other ways back to their realm, and they will remember what you did.

      And please remember to buy gnomane dishwashing tablets, I cannot stress enough how much they should not be dead.

      Also don't ask me why the gnome salt mine slavery exists, I didn't create it, I just benefit from it.

      C This user is from outside of this forum
      C This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote on last edited by
      #97

      I'll guess then that they'll prefer the salt mines above me. Those little bastards, playing for dead! I will shave all their beards!

      excrubulent@slrpnk.netE 1 Reply Last reply
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      • lordwiggle@lemmy.worldL [email protected]

        They have big dicks though

        C This user is from outside of this forum
        C This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote on last edited by
        #98

        And they glow in the dark!

        lordwiggle@lemmy.worldL 1 Reply Last reply
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        • C [email protected]

          And they glow in the dark!

          lordwiggle@lemmy.worldL This user is from outside of this forum
          lordwiggle@lemmy.worldL This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote on last edited by
          #99

          But they eat the boogers out of each other's noses. Which happen to be glow in the dark as well.

          1 Reply Last reply
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          • L [email protected]

            Long pauses I would guess

            O This user is from outside of this forum
            O This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote on last edited by [email protected]
            #100

            I see the vision but that's not how you type on the internet.

            L 1 Reply Last reply
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            • lordwiggle@lemmy.worldL [email protected]

              Not true. They are hiding the fact that there's a group of tiny gnomes forced to work the dishes. No one wants to see tiny slaves in their kitchen. They are pathetic and do not fit the rest of the kitchen ambiance.

              O This user is from outside of this forum
              O This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote on last edited by
              #101

              They're just in there licking all the food off the dishes after getting drunk on the "rinsing agent".

              If you forget to fill their booze, they just piss all over your dishes, that's where the spots come from.

              B 1 Reply Last reply
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              • B [email protected]
                This post did not contain any content.
                theacharnian@lemmy.caT This user is from outside of this forum
                theacharnian@lemmy.caT This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote on last edited by
                #102

                This is oddly rhythmical/musical.

                1 Reply Last reply
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                • W [email protected]

                  The Sears appliance departments usually had at least one with a clear front for demonstration purposes.. But you know what happened to them

                  F This user is from outside of this forum
                  F This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #103

                  Thanks, Obama

                  1 Reply Last reply
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                  • B [email protected]
                    This post did not contain any content.
                    hupf@feddit.orgH This user is from outside of this forum
                    hupf@feddit.orgH This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #104

                    Obligatory Technology Connections

                    heythisisnttheymca@lemmy.worldH 1 Reply Last reply
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                    • C [email protected]

                      I'll guess then that they'll prefer the salt mines above me. Those little bastards, playing for dead! I will shave all their beards!

                      excrubulent@slrpnk.netE This user is from outside of this forum
                      excrubulent@slrpnk.netE This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #105

                      Your funeral, don't say I didn't warn you.

                      C 1 Reply Last reply
                      1
                      • O [email protected]

                        They're just in there licking all the food off the dishes after getting drunk on the "rinsing agent".

                        If you forget to fill their booze, they just piss all over your dishes, that's where the spots come from.

                        B This user is from outside of this forum
                        B This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #106

                        Immigrants taking my good old American Jack Russell Terrier's job. They took her jerb!

                        1 Reply Last reply
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                        • mycelium_underground@lemmy.worldM [email protected]

                          It's to keep people from seeing the reality of recycled dishwater being sprayed at the plates you eat off of.

                          B This user is from outside of this forum
                          B This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #107

                          It's because they are usually insulated and there is no point putting a clear surface over insulation.

                          0 1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • F [email protected]

                            B This user is from outside of this forum
                            B This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #108

                            Yeah, they put a lid on the side of the cow and can reach in and grab a handful of stomach sludge.

                            1 Reply Last reply
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                            • sixtyforce@sh.itjust.worksS [email protected]

                              To see the mold growing in the side loader machine's silicon gasket that never dries out of course!

                              Also because that's what the house came with and it didn't break yet.

                              I kill it with vinegar filled wash cycles now and then but it's annoying and recurrent. Top loader with dumb knobs and a metal lid next if they die before me.

                              B This user is from outside of this forum
                              B This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #109

                              Leave the door cracked after washing until it dries out.

                              1 Reply Last reply
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                              • B [email protected]

                                It's because they are usually insulated and there is no point putting a clear surface over insulation.

                                0 This user is from outside of this forum
                                0 This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #110

                                My oven is super insulated, yet it still has a window

                                B 1 Reply Last reply
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                                • M [email protected]

                                  Oh you absolutely need to replace the gnome cartridge, my dad would always freak out if we didn't. That's like day 1 of dishwasher school.

                                  0 This user is from outside of this forum
                                  0 This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #111

                                  I hate when the dishwasher says it's low on cyan gnomes, but I can see them right there

                                  1 Reply Last reply
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                                  • excrubulent@slrpnk.netE [email protected]

                                    Your funeral, don't say I didn't warn you.

                                    C This user is from outside of this forum
                                    C This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #112

                                    They better don't disobey their lord and master, or I'll pee over the shoebox that is their home again.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
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                                    • W [email protected]

                                      Why do they call it oven when you of in the cold food of out hot eat the food?

                                      Q This user is from outside of this forum
                                      Q This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #113

                                      when you of in the cold food of out hot eat the food?

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      2
                                      • hupf@feddit.orgH [email protected]

                                        Obligatory Technology Connections

                                        heythisisnttheymca@lemmy.worldH This user is from outside of this forum
                                        heythisisnttheymca@lemmy.worldH This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #114

                                        he left out cleaning the hose that leads to the sink.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        1
                                        • F [email protected]

                                          I remember seeing one of those! Wasn’t brought to our school, though (I went to school in the middle of the city), we went to a farm.

                                          P This user is from outside of this forum
                                          P This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #115

                                          we went to a farm

                                          Did they slice a cow in twain lengthwise?

                                          F 1 Reply Last reply
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