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  3. We too often minimize the sacrifices parents make for us

We too often minimize the sacrifices parents make for us

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lemmyshitpost
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  • S [email protected]

    I literally have two kids, one autistic.

    Doing the bare minimum isn't a sacrifice. It's an expectation.

    To me, a sacrifice is something you choose to do for someone else. Not the minimum you do to avoid prison for child endangerment.

    R This user is from outside of this forum
    R This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote last edited by
    #14

    It's an expectation and a sacrifice. By having kids you made the choice to make some sacrifices.

    In the definition of sacrifice there is no provision for how much you wanted to make said sacrifice or what the motivation was. Simply that you gave one thing up for another thing you found more important.

    sacrifice
    /săk′rə-fīs″/
    noun
    The act of giving up something highly valued for the sake of something else considered to have a greater value or claim.
    "Social activism often involves tremendous sacrifice."

    S 1 Reply Last reply
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    • Z [email protected]

      Sacrificing means giving up something valued for the sake of something else. Nothing is of value to me except my kids. In that sense, I don’t have to sacrifice anything.

      plaidbaron@lemmy.worldP This user is from outside of this forum
      plaidbaron@lemmy.worldP This user is from outside of this forum
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      wrote last edited by
      #15

      Other things have value for me. Its just that nothing in my life is more valuable to me than my child.

      Z 1 Reply Last reply
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      • M [email protected]
        This post did not contain any content.
        veedem@lemmy.worldV This user is from outside of this forum
        veedem@lemmy.worldV This user is from outside of this forum
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        wrote last edited by
        #16

        While everyone else can argue about what level of sacrifice constitutes an actual sacrifice, I want to point something out:

        The dad isn’t sacrificing anything in this image. He’s simply helping his son across lol.

        A 1 Reply Last reply
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        • M [email protected]
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          S This user is from outside of this forum
          S This user is from outside of this forum
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          wrote last edited by
          #17

          My parents sacrificed the world economy, rule of law, and a breathable environment for me #blessed

          fredselfish@lemmy.worldF 1 Reply Last reply
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          • plaidbaron@lemmy.worldP [email protected]

            Other things have value for me. Its just that nothing in my life is more valuable to me than my child.

            Z This user is from outside of this forum
            Z This user is from outside of this forum
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            wrote last edited by
            #18

            I see. My interpretation might have been wrong. Things can be of different value, from low to high. What I was trying to say was, that it does not feel like a sacrifice to me, since I am not losing that much, and I gain a lot, by investing time and money into my kids.

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            • R [email protected]

              Try being a parent and get back to me. There isn't a parent in the world that doesn't make sacrifices. Even bad ones do. There's no way to raise a kid without time and money and loss of sleep. Even if you do a bad job.

              C This user is from outside of this forum
              C This user is from outside of this forum
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              wrote last edited by
              #19

              I’ll engage honestly with this for a sec.

              Yes, parenting is hard work. I have kids myself. It’s not easy and can be rather thankless at times.

              I think what people are downvoting/getting upset with you about is that there’s a lot of parents who take the above and say “you owe me XYZ. Do you know how much I sacrificed for you !?!” My family did this to me. It’s heartbreaking when they pull this card and you’re just trying to get them to…well just not be shitty towards you and your family.

              You kinda opt-in to the thanklessness a bit. Which renders the “owing” argument moot.

              R 1 Reply Last reply
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              • veedem@lemmy.worldV [email protected]

                While everyone else can argue about what level of sacrifice constitutes an actual sacrifice, I want to point something out:

                The dad isn’t sacrificing anything in this image. He’s simply helping his son across lol.

                A This user is from outside of this forum
                A This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote last edited by
                #20

                "Dad why do you take pills?"

                I have crippling neck pain.

                "why?"

                I'll tell you when you're older.

                1 Reply Last reply
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                • R [email protected]

                  It's an expectation and a sacrifice. By having kids you made the choice to make some sacrifices.

                  In the definition of sacrifice there is no provision for how much you wanted to make said sacrifice or what the motivation was. Simply that you gave one thing up for another thing you found more important.

                  sacrifice
                  /săk′rə-fīs″/
                  noun
                  The act of giving up something highly valued for the sake of something else considered to have a greater value or claim.
                  "Social activism often involves tremendous sacrifice."

                  S This user is from outside of this forum
                  S This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote last edited by
                  #21

                  If I put a gun to someone's head to donate to charity, was that a sacrifice or a theft?

                  1 Reply Last reply
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                  • R [email protected]

                    Unless they put you up for adoption or sent you to live with relatives, the fact that you are still alive disproves this point.

                    H This user is from outside of this forum
                    H This user is from outside of this forum
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                    wrote last edited by
                    #22

                    Oh really? Only those 2 things and nothing else? You lack critical thinking, empathy, imagination, and much more in between.

                    R 1 Reply Last reply
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                    • C [email protected]

                      I’ll engage honestly with this for a sec.

                      Yes, parenting is hard work. I have kids myself. It’s not easy and can be rather thankless at times.

                      I think what people are downvoting/getting upset with you about is that there’s a lot of parents who take the above and say “you owe me XYZ. Do you know how much I sacrificed for you !?!” My family did this to me. It’s heartbreaking when they pull this card and you’re just trying to get them to…well just not be shitty towards you and your family.

                      You kinda opt-in to the thanklessness a bit. Which renders the “owing” argument moot.

                      R This user is from outside of this forum
                      R This user is from outside of this forum
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                      wrote last edited by
                      #23

                      Yes I understand this is coming from people who feel (probably rightly) that their parents weren't good parents and didn't do enough for them, and which may have said the things you mention.

                      But even taking all of that as true, those parents, as bad as they may have been, still made sacrifices for their kids. I agree that this is a horrible thing to hang over their heads, but it doesn't make it untrue either.

                      I also agree you are signing up for this usually thankless job and should be ready for that. But that also doesn't negate the fact that you are making some sacrifices to be a parent.

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                      • H [email protected]

                        Oh really? Only those 2 things and nothing else? You lack critical thinking, empathy, imagination, and much more in between.

                        R This user is from outside of this forum
                        R This user is from outside of this forum
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                        wrote last edited by
                        #24

                        Those are the only 2 ways I can imagine having a child and not making some sacrifices, yes. Your insults do nothing to further your point.

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                        • S [email protected]

                          My parents sacrificed the world economy, rule of law, and a breathable environment for me #blessed

                          fredselfish@lemmy.worldF This user is from outside of this forum
                          fredselfish@lemmy.worldF This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote last edited by
                          #25

                          Yeah my parents are boomers who pulled the ladder up behind them. And my dad....well he thinks the world should die with him. And gets pissed if he thinks you are getting ahead of him in life.

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