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Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Lemmy Shitpost
lemmyshitpost
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  • C [email protected]

    Green pill would be the best power, hands down, no contest. It would be a very, well, green superpower.

    Demolition jobs all around the country, regular houses cost $4-8 per square foot. Underbid & you get every job. Old warehouses? Poo. Toxic landfills? Poo. Asbestos? Poo. Old tech waste that's processed for valuable metals first? Poo. Forever chemicals? Not anymore, poo. Radioactive nuclear waste that costs us $6B every year according to this? Get a government contract for $5B per year for 100+ years with unlimited paid travel/room/board for you & all your family, travel to all the storage sites & turn all the nuclear waste into poo. Travel the US. Travel the world! You're the Poo Man. Eliminating radioactive nuclear waste & creating fertilizer. Everyone would pay top dollar for your fantastic services. Getting old, sick of earth? Go to the moon, go to Mars, Mars can use lots & lots of nutrient rich poo to help terraform in the future.

    There would be almost no limit to the amount of good you could do, with poo...yes, you can use it to rob banks. If you're fucking dumb. Or you could legally shake down & radically transform the entire world, make them pay you & your descendants like kings, and if they're smart they'll thank you for your services. Poo Man. All day, every day, you'd be the richest man on earth (or Mars) & arguably super super ethical, too. Win-win.

    ssupii@sopuli.xyzS This user is from outside of this forum
    ssupii@sopuli.xyzS This user is from outside of this forum
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    wrote last edited by
    #26

    We already have https://lemmy.ca/post/865320

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • L [email protected]

      Just need to keep your talent a secret. Put on your mask, grab a shovel, turn all the walls between you and the bank vault to shit, take what you need and leave. Cops come, the bullets/guns/cuffs police left feet to poo. Wash the money figuratively once done cleaning it literally, then figure out your next step.

      programmer_belch@lemmy.dbzer0.comP This user is from outside of this forum
      programmer_belch@lemmy.dbzer0.comP This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote last edited by
      #27

      Poop at ballistic speeds can still kill you, I guess if the power has unlimited range you are safe by turning the guns into poop before they shoot.

      If the power works by contact as is usually the case, you would need a team to rob the bank, it would be the same as having a very fast drill to break the vault.

      L 1 Reply Last reply
      2
      • ssupii@sopuli.xyzS [email protected]
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        wrote last edited by
        #28

        Uhhmm eehhhh uhhhmmm

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • S [email protected]

          Half-life (thorium in the bg instead of...uhh...idk who the main character is)

          B This user is from outside of this forum
          B This user is from outside of this forum
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          wrote last edited by
          #29

          Hello Gordon

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          • ssupii@sopuli.xyzS [email protected]
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            wrote last edited by
            #30

            I don't understand the orange pill so I must need the black pill

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • C [email protected]

              Green pill would be the best power, hands down, no contest. It would be a very, well, green superpower.

              Demolition jobs all around the country, regular houses cost $4-8 per square foot. Underbid & you get every job. Old warehouses? Poo. Toxic landfills? Poo. Asbestos? Poo. Old tech waste that's processed for valuable metals first? Poo. Forever chemicals? Not anymore, poo. Radioactive nuclear waste that costs us $6B every year according to this? Get a government contract for $5B per year for 100+ years with unlimited paid travel/room/board for you & all your family, travel to all the storage sites & turn all the nuclear waste into poo. Travel the US. Travel the world! You're the Poo Man. Eliminating radioactive nuclear waste & creating fertilizer. Everyone would pay top dollar for your fantastic services. Getting old, sick of earth? Go to the moon, go to Mars, Mars can use lots & lots of nutrient rich poo to help terraform in the future.

              There would be almost no limit to the amount of good you could do, with poo...yes, you can use it to rob banks. If you're fucking dumb. Or you could legally shake down & radically transform the entire world, make them pay you & your descendants like kings, and if they're smart they'll thank you for your services. Poo Man. All day, every day, you'd be the richest man on earth (or Mars) & arguably super super ethical, too. Win-win.

              programmer_belch@lemmy.dbzer0.comP This user is from outside of this forum
              programmer_belch@lemmy.dbzer0.comP This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote last edited by
              #31

              That's pretty cool until CIA or another government intelligence kidnaps you to keep you inside a box converting everything you touch into poop, giving them an advantage against other countries

              wdx@feddit.orgW C 2 Replies Last reply
              2
              • R [email protected]

                Green pill = infinite money cheat. Turn all the plastic trash, nuclear waste etc. into bio mass

                ivanafterall@lemmy.worldI This user is from outside of this forum
                ivanafterall@lemmy.worldI This user is from outside of this forum
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                wrote last edited by
                #32

                Unfortunately, it's imprecise and now the ocean is literally just shit.

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • programmer_belch@lemmy.dbzer0.comP [email protected]

                  Poop at ballistic speeds can still kill you, I guess if the power has unlimited range you are safe by turning the guns into poop before they shoot.

                  If the power works by contact as is usually the case, you would need a team to rob the bank, it would be the same as having a very fast drill to break the vault.

                  L This user is from outside of this forum
                  L This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote last edited by
                  #33

                  Yeah if someone is shooting at you it's a bit late. Being that the character didn't have a weapon on them I was hoping for a bit of not immediately murder him energy.

                  Although I suppose once they get there you could just create a couple feet thick wall of shit out of the air around you making an escape funnel. Until you can block their view and escape.

                  Without having a range/time to perform/nor limits on how much can be converted it really is pretty powerful.

                  programmer_belch@lemmy.dbzer0.comP 1 Reply Last reply
                  1
                  • programmer_belch@lemmy.dbzer0.comP [email protected]

                    That's pretty cool until CIA or another government intelligence kidnaps you to keep you inside a box converting everything you touch into poop, giving them an advantage against other countries

                    wdx@feddit.orgW This user is from outside of this forum
                    wdx@feddit.orgW This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote last edited by
                    #34

                    turn the kidnappers into poo

                    programmer_belch@lemmy.dbzer0.comP 1 Reply Last reply
                    4
                    • C [email protected]

                      Green pill would be the best power, hands down, no contest. It would be a very, well, green superpower.

                      Demolition jobs all around the country, regular houses cost $4-8 per square foot. Underbid & you get every job. Old warehouses? Poo. Toxic landfills? Poo. Asbestos? Poo. Old tech waste that's processed for valuable metals first? Poo. Forever chemicals? Not anymore, poo. Radioactive nuclear waste that costs us $6B every year according to this? Get a government contract for $5B per year for 100+ years with unlimited paid travel/room/board for you & all your family, travel to all the storage sites & turn all the nuclear waste into poo. Travel the US. Travel the world! You're the Poo Man. Eliminating radioactive nuclear waste & creating fertilizer. Everyone would pay top dollar for your fantastic services. Getting old, sick of earth? Go to the moon, go to Mars, Mars can use lots & lots of nutrient rich poo to help terraform in the future.

                      There would be almost no limit to the amount of good you could do, with poo...yes, you can use it to rob banks. If you're fucking dumb. Or you could legally shake down & radically transform the entire world, make them pay you & your descendants like kings, and if they're smart they'll thank you for your services. Poo Man. All day, every day, you'd be the richest man on earth (or Mars) & arguably super super ethical, too. Win-win.

                      justiceforporygon@lemmy.blahaj.zoneJ This user is from outside of this forum
                      justiceforporygon@lemmy.blahaj.zoneJ This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote last edited by
                      #35

                      You show up at the capitol to turn Congress into poo.

                      It doesn't work, because they're already full of shit.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      18
                      • wdx@feddit.orgW [email protected]

                        turn the kidnappers into poo

                        programmer_belch@lemmy.dbzer0.comP This user is from outside of this forum
                        programmer_belch@lemmy.dbzer0.comP This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote last edited by
                        #36

                        Ah Mr Bond but that's why I am wearing a suit made out of poo, your power cannot affect me inside my fecal encasing

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        4
                        • programmer_belch@lemmy.dbzer0.comP [email protected]

                          That's pretty cool until CIA or another government intelligence kidnaps you to keep you inside a box converting everything you touch into poop, giving them an advantage against other countries

                          C This user is from outside of this forum
                          C This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote last edited by
                          #37

                          Turn the box into poop! Turn all kidnappers to poop!

                          That's a good point. Idk you would probably have to have a robust security detail. Which you can afford, or probably again twist the arm of America to provide for you at taxpayer expense. 🙂 All things are negotiable.

                          You can do so much good with that power, you'd be one of the best people to exist ever in the history of mankind. You'd simply have to use that power. For good.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          3
                          • L [email protected]

                            Yeah if someone is shooting at you it's a bit late. Being that the character didn't have a weapon on them I was hoping for a bit of not immediately murder him energy.

                            Although I suppose once they get there you could just create a couple feet thick wall of shit out of the air around you making an escape funnel. Until you can block their view and escape.

                            Without having a range/time to perform/nor limits on how much can be converted it really is pretty powerful.

                            programmer_belch@lemmy.dbzer0.comP This user is from outside of this forum
                            programmer_belch@lemmy.dbzer0.comP This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote last edited by
                            #38

                            Something like a midas touch to balance the power in the next patch or something

                            L 1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • C [email protected]

                              Green pill would be the best power, hands down, no contest. It would be a very, well, green superpower.

                              Demolition jobs all around the country, regular houses cost $4-8 per square foot. Underbid & you get every job. Old warehouses? Poo. Toxic landfills? Poo. Asbestos? Poo. Old tech waste that's processed for valuable metals first? Poo. Forever chemicals? Not anymore, poo. Radioactive nuclear waste that costs us $6B every year according to this? Get a government contract for $5B per year for 100+ years with unlimited paid travel/room/board for you & all your family, travel to all the storage sites & turn all the nuclear waste into poo. Travel the US. Travel the world! You're the Poo Man. Eliminating radioactive nuclear waste & creating fertilizer. Everyone would pay top dollar for your fantastic services. Getting old, sick of earth? Go to the moon, go to Mars, Mars can use lots & lots of nutrient rich poo to help terraform in the future.

                              There would be almost no limit to the amount of good you could do, with poo...yes, you can use it to rob banks. If you're fucking dumb. Or you could legally shake down & radically transform the entire world, make them pay you & your descendants like kings, and if they're smart they'll thank you for your services. Poo Man. All day, every day, you'd be the richest man on earth (or Mars) & arguably super super ethical, too. Win-win.

                              iavicenna@lemmy.worldI This user is from outside of this forum
                              iavicenna@lemmy.worldI This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote last edited by
                              #39

                              Netanyahu? instant poo. Trump, Putin? Instant poo. Turn shitty humans to shit and cut the middle man.

                              carbonicedragon@pawb.socialC 1 Reply Last reply
                              4
                              • programmer_belch@lemmy.dbzer0.comP [email protected]

                                Something like a midas touch to balance the power in the next patch or something

                                L This user is from outside of this forum
                                L This user is from outside of this forum
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                                wrote last edited by
                                #40

                                ShitHead ended the world by accidentally turning all of its atmosphere to shit when he sneezed.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                1
                                • iavicenna@lemmy.worldI [email protected]

                                  Netanyahu? instant poo. Trump, Putin? Instant poo. Turn shitty humans to shit and cut the middle man.

                                  carbonicedragon@pawb.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
                                  carbonicedragon@pawb.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #41

                                  Technically any human was already capable of doing that, the pill doesn't say that it's necessarily something you can just instantly do at a distance with your mind.

                                  iavicenna@lemmy.worldI A 2 Replies Last reply
                                  2
                                  • ssupii@sopuli.xyzS [email protected]
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                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #42

                                    Black pill. Please cure me of my ailments.

                                    I would be un-fucking-stoppable as a normie.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    5
                                    • ssupii@sopuli.xyzS [email protected]
                                      This post did not contain any content.
                                      pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zoneP This user is from outside of this forum
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                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #43

                                      Neurotypical pill pls

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      4
                                      • ssupii@sopuli.xyzS [email protected]
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                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #44

                                        Im taking the black pill every time. I got a lot of retard to undo

                                        E 1 Reply Last reply
                                        11
                                        • ssupii@sopuli.xyzS [email protected]
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                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #45

                                          How much thorium does the average person use in one lifetime?

                                          F 1 Reply Last reply
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