What are signs that you may be more attractive than you think you are?
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I’m not sure I follow your comment. Just having high esteem wakes people more attractive? Is that something people have experienced?
I know some folks with high self esteem but wouldn’t call them attractive.
Am I missing something?
There was this Amy Schumer Movie "I feel pretty" that's exactly what I mean. She thought she was thin, her self esteem went up and everybody found her attractive.
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I’m not sure I follow your comment. Just having high esteem wakes people more attractive? Is that something people have experienced?
I know some folks with high self esteem but wouldn’t call them attractive.
Am I missing something?
Absolutely. Confidence is king.
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Every person I’ve ever dated asked me out, but I just assumed that was normal for anyone who wasn’t absolutely hideous.
features of mine (strong jaw, ability to grow a thick lumberjack beard, being taller than most of our friend group, etc.)
Assuming you're a man, it is absolutely not normal to be asked out by women. It is starting to happen more and more, but living in berlin, being surrounded by very left wing people, I still only rarely hear about a woman initiating a romantic relationship.
that seems like a fair assumption to make considering he mentioned his wife bragging that she had snagged an attractive man :3
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I never saw myself as ugly, but I always just assumed I was pretty average. It's not like people were tripping over themselves to spend time with me. I didn't have supermodel attraction powers or anything; the most attractive people in my school never gave me the time of day. Every person I've ever dated asked me out, but I just assumed that was normal for anyone who wasn't absolutely hideous.
(For the record, I tried to ask someone out once and it went so wrong, I never had the courage to ask anyone else out again, so the only time I dated anyone was when they approached me. Which happened quite a bit throughout my younger years.)
I've had friends talk about how jealous they are of certain features of mine (strong jaw, ability to grow a thick lumberjack beard, being taller than most of our friend group, etc.) but I was also jealous of certain features my friends shared, so I didn't ever feel physically superior to anyone. You want what you can't have, right?
But now I'm in my 40s, my hair is starting to thin, and thanks to a permanently busted leg and two bad knees, I can't exercise without pain and have gained probably 60+ pounds in recent years. All of a sudden, I've realized that people don't really notice me anymore. I don't draw much attention when I go out in public and people aren't as captivated by my conversation like they used to be.
My wife also used to love pointing out when strangers were staring at me in public. She used to brag that she'd snagged an attractive man and that other girls are just jealous. I used to think she was just trying to hype herself up, since she used to talk down about herself a lot, so I'd play along and praise her for being so lucky (and also let her know how lucky I was for getting to spend time with a woman like her). But it's been years now since she's pointed out anyone staring at me in public.
It's kind of dawning on me that I may have been pretty attractive as a young man. But like all things, beauty fades with age and I'm in an awkward phase where people aren't really paying much attention to me anymore. It's definitely hitting the ego, not only noticing the lack of attention, but realizing too late that I had that kind of attractive power in my youth. If I hadn't been crippled with introversion most of my youth, I probably could've been extremely popular.
I will point out, I shared a link to a blog of mine on Lemmy sometime earlier this year and I got a single comment, praising my attractive profile pic on my blog. Which is the first positive thing anyone's said about my appearance in years. That was a wonderful feeling, but also kind of hit hard, realizing that people don't really comment on my looks anymore.
That profile picture is maybe 5 years old now, and whereas I want to replace it with a more current one, I've been struggling to take one that doesn't make me feel old and ugly. So I'm going to keep using that older one until I feel like it no longer looks like me.
I'm in rather the opposite boat. Always figured I was average as a young man, but somehow ending up punching above my weight class with women. LOL, I was so clueless.
By my late 40s I think I peaked on looks. Now I'm 54 and slipping a bit, but finding dates was easy money! Be middle-aged, non-fat with all original teeth and hair, non-MAGA, I was hitting on all 8 cylinders! Had so many women to the house the neighbors were both disgusted and amazed. (This was COVID times, so a first date at someone's house was a thing. Weird, I know.)
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Every person I’ve ever dated asked me out, but I just assumed that was normal for anyone who wasn’t absolutely hideous.
features of mine (strong jaw, ability to grow a thick lumberjack beard, being taller than most of our friend group, etc.)
Assuming you're a man, it is absolutely not normal to be asked out by women. It is starting to happen more and more, but living in berlin, being surrounded by very left wing people, I still only rarely hear about a woman initiating a romantic relationship.
Before online dating I only dated women who were clearly hitting on me or asked me out. 80s movies scared me about being "that guy".
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Appreciate the detailed response. Everyone will age, it’s kinda part of the being human thing.
The most important I take from your story… you have a loving wife. That counts for more than anything
I'll add: Even if you're aging and in a happy marriage, you owe it to your partner to try to keep up your attractiveness. I dress nicely almost every night for my wife.
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There was this Amy Schumer Movie "I feel pretty" that's exactly what I mean. She thought she was thin, her self esteem went up and everybody found her attractive.
Oh, ok, I’ll try to check it out. Not a huge fan of hers but will give it watch.
Thanks for mentioning it!!
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I'll add: Even if you're aging and in a happy marriage, you owe it to your partner to try to keep up your attractiveness. I dress nicely almost every night for my wife.
True, while it’s not necessarily easy to meet the right person… it takes effort to make it actually work, especially for a long time.
Attractiveness being one aspect of that formula.
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that seems like a fair assumption to make considering he mentioned his wife bragging that she had snagged an attractive man :3
Yeah I'm not saying I don't get why he'd think that. I'm just saying its far from the Norm.
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I never saw myself as ugly, but I always just assumed I was pretty average. It's not like people were tripping over themselves to spend time with me. I didn't have supermodel attraction powers or anything; the most attractive people in my school never gave me the time of day. Every person I've ever dated asked me out, but I just assumed that was normal for anyone who wasn't absolutely hideous.
(For the record, I tried to ask someone out once and it went so wrong, I never had the courage to ask anyone else out again, so the only time I dated anyone was when they approached me. Which happened quite a bit throughout my younger years.)
I've had friends talk about how jealous they are of certain features of mine (strong jaw, ability to grow a thick lumberjack beard, being taller than most of our friend group, etc.) but I was also jealous of certain features my friends shared, so I didn't ever feel physically superior to anyone. You want what you can't have, right?
But now I'm in my 40s, my hair is starting to thin, and thanks to a permanently busted leg and two bad knees, I can't exercise without pain and have gained probably 60+ pounds in recent years. All of a sudden, I've realized that people don't really notice me anymore. I don't draw much attention when I go out in public and people aren't as captivated by my conversation like they used to be.
My wife also used to love pointing out when strangers were staring at me in public. She used to brag that she'd snagged an attractive man and that other girls are just jealous. I used to think she was just trying to hype herself up, since she used to talk down about herself a lot, so I'd play along and praise her for being so lucky (and also let her know how lucky I was for getting to spend time with a woman like her). But it's been years now since she's pointed out anyone staring at me in public.
It's kind of dawning on me that I may have been pretty attractive as a young man. But like all things, beauty fades with age and I'm in an awkward phase where people aren't really paying much attention to me anymore. It's definitely hitting the ego, not only noticing the lack of attention, but realizing too late that I had that kind of attractive power in my youth. If I hadn't been crippled with introversion most of my youth, I probably could've been extremely popular.
I will point out, I shared a link to a blog of mine on Lemmy sometime earlier this year and I got a single comment, praising my attractive profile pic on my blog. Which is the first positive thing anyone's said about my appearance in years. That was a wonderful feeling, but also kind of hit hard, realizing that people don't really comment on my looks anymore.
That profile picture is maybe 5 years old now, and whereas I want to replace it with a more current one, I've been struggling to take one that doesn't make me feel old and ugly. So I'm going to keep using that older one until I feel like it no longer looks like me.
Hey, on the topic of weight, you should look into low impact calisthenics and yoga. My spouse and I aren't much younger than you and we both have long standing knee injuries, this stuff has been game changing.
