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  3. The ADHD genie ain't ever going back in the lamp...

The ADHD genie ain't ever going back in the lamp...

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  • novamdomum@fedia.ioN [email protected]

    I discovered I had ADHD about 18 months ago and since then I've noticed my personality has changed quite a bit. Just knowing the reason why the world always seemed such a confusing place and realising how much masking I did all my life, I've noticed the pendulum seems to be swinging in the other way now. I'm never masking again and if that means I seem strange to neurotypicals then so be it.

    Have any of you who also discovered your neurospicyness in the last few years experienced anything like this as well? I'm just done pretending and I know it's probably making me more of a challenge to be around.

    I wonder if this is normal and if the pendulum will swing back eventually to a more harmonious place.

    Also when did it become ok for dentists to tell you off for not brushing up to their standards. I just noticed how they routinely use shaming as a form of control.

    D This user is from outside of this forum
    D This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote on last edited by
    #8

    I just noticed how they routinely use shaming as a form of control.

    Grow up, if your first response to shame is to assume everyone else is wrong you have some work to do to move on from being a teenager.

    1 Reply Last reply
    12
    • novamdomum@fedia.ioN [email protected]

      I discovered I had ADHD about 18 months ago and since then I've noticed my personality has changed quite a bit. Just knowing the reason why the world always seemed such a confusing place and realising how much masking I did all my life, I've noticed the pendulum seems to be swinging in the other way now. I'm never masking again and if that means I seem strange to neurotypicals then so be it.

      Have any of you who also discovered your neurospicyness in the last few years experienced anything like this as well? I'm just done pretending and I know it's probably making me more of a challenge to be around.

      I wonder if this is normal and if the pendulum will swing back eventually to a more harmonious place.

      Also when did it become ok for dentists to tell you off for not brushing up to their standards. I just noticed how they routinely use shaming as a form of control.

      T This user is from outside of this forum
      T This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote on last edited by
      #9

      It looks like you might be piling everything into the ADHD bucket. The bit about the dentist isn't shaming, it's about keeping your teeth healthy and that's what I mean about putting your behaviors into that ADHD bucket. A diagnosis isn't a free pass, it's information that you typically use to help navigate and mitigate symptoms.

      1 Reply Last reply
      14
      • T [email protected]

        I'm on team dentist here as well. Those things don't geow back unless you're 3. Get an electric toothbrush. They're not that expensive, and don't make brushing take any more time than otherwise.

        nomad_scry@lemmy.sdf.orgN This user is from outside of this forum
        nomad_scry@lemmy.sdf.orgN This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote on last edited by [email protected]
        #10

        Dentists are sadists.

        Take care of your teeth or be shamed and tortured by dentists.

        Edit: novacaine doesn't work but they'll still grab a recalcitrant baby tooth with piliers and grindingly yank it out with pliers.

        trickdacy@lemmy.worldT 1 Reply Last reply
        1
        • novamdomum@fedia.ioN [email protected]

          I discovered I had ADHD about 18 months ago and since then I've noticed my personality has changed quite a bit. Just knowing the reason why the world always seemed such a confusing place and realising how much masking I did all my life, I've noticed the pendulum seems to be swinging in the other way now. I'm never masking again and if that means I seem strange to neurotypicals then so be it.

          Have any of you who also discovered your neurospicyness in the last few years experienced anything like this as well? I'm just done pretending and I know it's probably making me more of a challenge to be around.

          I wonder if this is normal and if the pendulum will swing back eventually to a more harmonious place.

          Also when did it become ok for dentists to tell you off for not brushing up to their standards. I just noticed how they routinely use shaming as a form of control.

          R This user is from outside of this forum
          R This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote on last edited by
          #11

          Also when did it become ok for dentists to tell you off for not brushing up to their standards. I just noticed how they routinely use shaming as a form of control.

          I think they've always done this, and it has the opposite effect on me. I don't want to be shamed, so I don't go, tooth starts to hurt, but they'll shame me, so I don't go, things get worse, have to go, get shamed, get fixed, remember shaming, don't schedule next appointment, repeat.

          Please remember to brush your teeth and visit the dentist. Don't be me. You only get two sets and you've already burned through the first one.

          U 1 Reply Last reply
          6
          • R [email protected]

            Also when did it become ok for dentists to tell you off for not brushing up to their standards. I just noticed how they routinely use shaming as a form of control.

            I think they've always done this, and it has the opposite effect on me. I don't want to be shamed, so I don't go, tooth starts to hurt, but they'll shame me, so I don't go, things get worse, have to go, get shamed, get fixed, remember shaming, don't schedule next appointment, repeat.

            Please remember to brush your teeth and visit the dentist. Don't be me. You only get two sets and you've already burned through the first one.

            U This user is from outside of this forum
            U This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote on last edited by [email protected]
            #12

            I go to dental hygienists instead. It's not a perfect replacement, but it's a necessary step in my dental journey.

            The ones I've had have been a lot more... nuanced, in their approach. I tell mine upfront that I have ADHD and it makes it incredibly hard to build and follow a routine, and that is what I need help and compassion around.

            If one then reacts judgingly or without understanding I would probably find a different one for the next appointment, but so far I've been lucky.

            The first times I went they used numbing salve to make is less painful to get the numbing syringe, and they only cleaned a quarter of my mouth each time.

            Every time we go over what I've managed to do with praise, and what I've struggled with without judgement. We do a cleaning (full mouth, unless I have a really bad day, and no numbing necessary anymore!), then together figure out what I can do on the things I struggle with, or if it's better to focus on keeping routine and doing the easier parts until next time.

            They have demonstrated and had me demonstrate brushing and flossing techniques several times, given me extra soft brushes with extra tiny heads to make it easier to navigate without slamming into other mouth structures when I get inattentive or impatient, and picked out four different options for toothpaste for my teeths needs.

            It's been incredibly helpful to get my teeth healthier. And it makes it easier to visit the dentist knowing that I don't have to do it a lot and that I have other dental professionals in my corner. It also helps me communicate clearly to the dentist when something hurts too much and that they don't need to lecture me because I am already working with a hygienist on my habits thankyouverymuch.

            Can't recommend it enough. Provided you are upfront with your issues and they are accepting of them.

            1 Reply Last reply
            1
            • nomad_scry@lemmy.sdf.orgN [email protected]

              Dentists are sadists.

              Take care of your teeth or be shamed and tortured by dentists.

              Edit: novacaine doesn't work but they'll still grab a recalcitrant baby tooth with piliers and grindingly yank it out with pliers.

              trickdacy@lemmy.worldT This user is from outside of this forum
              trickdacy@lemmy.worldT This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote on last edited by
              #13

              How opposed to dental care are you? Insane

              1 Reply Last reply
              1
              • novamdomum@fedia.ioN [email protected]

                I discovered I had ADHD about 18 months ago and since then I've noticed my personality has changed quite a bit. Just knowing the reason why the world always seemed such a confusing place and realising how much masking I did all my life, I've noticed the pendulum seems to be swinging in the other way now. I'm never masking again and if that means I seem strange to neurotypicals then so be it.

                Have any of you who also discovered your neurospicyness in the last few years experienced anything like this as well? I'm just done pretending and I know it's probably making me more of a challenge to be around.

                I wonder if this is normal and if the pendulum will swing back eventually to a more harmonious place.

                Also when did it become ok for dentists to tell you off for not brushing up to their standards. I just noticed how they routinely use shaming as a form of control.

                M This user is from outside of this forum
                M This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote on last edited by
                #14

                There are dentists who advertise their more humane approach, it's worth shopping around. You don't have to actually visit them all, in fact it's better not to be in the chair when discussing what you need. Instead you could contact them with a spiel about your own issues regarding tooth care and shaming by dentists. Then pick one who seems to want to try to help you have healthy teeth and a positive experience. Frankly it doesn't matter if they're "faking it" to get your business, if it works for you.

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                0
                • A [email protected]

                  I'm curious, what exactly are you doing more today that you didn't before? And I do believe some behaviours, just for practicality's sake and for our own good (and sometimes for the common good too!), should be a bit curtailed even if they're not "bad". Overall, I'm glad you know yourself better today and that you're enjoying it.

                  novamdomum@fedia.ioN This user is from outside of this forum
                  novamdomum@fedia.ioN This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #15

                  Wow 🙂 you're the only one to engage with my post and not the throwaway bit at the end when I randomly thought about dentists.

                  So I can easily describe to you how my behaviour became less masked using the "golden retriever" analogy. My energy has often been described by close friends as being "golden retriever" like, a bit like Dug, the dog from UP. Kinda goofy and positive and bouncy. Before I knew about ADHD I used to keep that fairly hidden except to friends. Now that I know why I behave like that I can be a lot more me, a lot more of the time. I'm a much happier person for it too.

                  My leading theory at the moment is that now I feel the world understands and accepts ADHD a lot more, I'm not only dropping the masks I show the world but possibly also the unconscious masking of my behaviour from myself.

                  I'm still trying to understand the ins and outs of it though hence the question in here. I just wish I hadn't got distracted and added the random thought about dentists. It seems to have triggered a few people. Probably dentists 🤣

                  tomcatt360@lemmy.zipT 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • novamdomum@fedia.ioN [email protected]

                    I discovered I had ADHD about 18 months ago and since then I've noticed my personality has changed quite a bit. Just knowing the reason why the world always seemed such a confusing place and realising how much masking I did all my life, I've noticed the pendulum seems to be swinging in the other way now. I'm never masking again and if that means I seem strange to neurotypicals then so be it.

                    Have any of you who also discovered your neurospicyness in the last few years experienced anything like this as well? I'm just done pretending and I know it's probably making me more of a challenge to be around.

                    I wonder if this is normal and if the pendulum will swing back eventually to a more harmonious place.

                    Also when did it become ok for dentists to tell you off for not brushing up to their standards. I just noticed how they routinely use shaming as a form of control.

                    rqg@lemmy.worldR This user is from outside of this forum
                    rqg@lemmy.worldR This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #16

                    I haven't had that. I also mask because I want other people to not be stressed out or lose energy because I can be a bit much.

                    Knowing where some things in my head and some issues come from has mostly helped me to accept that some things sometimes I cannot change. So I don't beat myself up about them.

                    But I'll still keep trying to do my best to remember things and not be a dick for neuro normies. That little bit of masking isnt all that hard anyways.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • novamdomum@fedia.ioN [email protected]

                      I discovered I had ADHD about 18 months ago and since then I've noticed my personality has changed quite a bit. Just knowing the reason why the world always seemed such a confusing place and realising how much masking I did all my life, I've noticed the pendulum seems to be swinging in the other way now. I'm never masking again and if that means I seem strange to neurotypicals then so be it.

                      Have any of you who also discovered your neurospicyness in the last few years experienced anything like this as well? I'm just done pretending and I know it's probably making me more of a challenge to be around.

                      I wonder if this is normal and if the pendulum will swing back eventually to a more harmonious place.

                      Also when did it become ok for dentists to tell you off for not brushing up to their standards. I just noticed how they routinely use shaming as a form of control.

                      H This user is from outside of this forum
                      H This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #17

                      I been dealing with ADHD (diagnosed) since the age of 7.

                      It is a pendulum, but it doesn't just swing back and stop.

                      Throw in bipolar disorder, and your world can go to shit rapidly and you probably will not understand how until after you've done the damage of trying to fix it.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      1
                      • novamdomum@fedia.ioN [email protected]

                        I discovered I had ADHD about 18 months ago and since then I've noticed my personality has changed quite a bit. Just knowing the reason why the world always seemed such a confusing place and realising how much masking I did all my life, I've noticed the pendulum seems to be swinging in the other way now. I'm never masking again and if that means I seem strange to neurotypicals then so be it.

                        Have any of you who also discovered your neurospicyness in the last few years experienced anything like this as well? I'm just done pretending and I know it's probably making me more of a challenge to be around.

                        I wonder if this is normal and if the pendulum will swing back eventually to a more harmonious place.

                        Also when did it become ok for dentists to tell you off for not brushing up to their standards. I just noticed how they routinely use shaming as a form of control.

                        A This user is from outside of this forum
                        A This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote last edited by
                        #18

                        Most absurd thing with dentists: They do this thing where they check the depth of the little pockets in the gums. It seems to have 0 medical value. Just to be like: "Watch out, it's 2.5 mm now! Two years ago, it was at 2.3 mm. Just so you know what's up."

                        Ironically, it takes a long time for the whole mouth and is very painful, worse than fixing actual problems, e. g. by drilling.

                        Mostly for that, I left my reputable high-tech dentist of two decades for a small practice with old equipment that specialises in anxiety.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        1
                        • novamdomum@fedia.ioN [email protected]

                          Wow 🙂 you're the only one to engage with my post and not the throwaway bit at the end when I randomly thought about dentists.

                          So I can easily describe to you how my behaviour became less masked using the "golden retriever" analogy. My energy has often been described by close friends as being "golden retriever" like, a bit like Dug, the dog from UP. Kinda goofy and positive and bouncy. Before I knew about ADHD I used to keep that fairly hidden except to friends. Now that I know why I behave like that I can be a lot more me, a lot more of the time. I'm a much happier person for it too.

                          My leading theory at the moment is that now I feel the world understands and accepts ADHD a lot more, I'm not only dropping the masks I show the world but possibly also the unconscious masking of my behaviour from myself.

                          I'm still trying to understand the ins and outs of it though hence the question in here. I just wish I hadn't got distracted and added the random thought about dentists. It seems to have triggered a few people. Probably dentists 🤣

                          tomcatt360@lemmy.zipT This user is from outside of this forum
                          tomcatt360@lemmy.zipT This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote last edited by
                          #19

                          I've noticed that I tend to remember the first and last things someone says. If I have a throwaway thought, I generally put it in the middle, or else I decide not to mention it.

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