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  3. Men are opening up about mental health to AI instead of humans

Men are opening up about mental health to AI instead of humans

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  • T [email protected]

    dude, you are the problem.

    that's what you refuse to acknowledge. the problem is people like you, claiming that it's not your problem, and those awful men looking for help and advice should just 'go away'. because they upset you.

    this is precisely how rich people feel about the homeless. 'just go away, we don't like you, but we refuse to help you and your very existence is an offensive to us.'

    S This user is from outside of this forum
    S This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote on last edited by
    #148

    Where is he saying it's not his problem? He's literally doing the exact opposite and making it his problem.

    1 Reply Last reply
    4
    • T [email protected]

      a lot of therapists and psychs are also useless for helping men. because they are women and they are basically only trained to deal with women's issues and only see women's emotional processes and processing as 'valid'. there is this default bias that men's emotional processing is 'flawed'.

      imo with mental health professionals all my 'issues' were blow way out of proportion. i only had one therapist who actaully helped me was a man and that person helped me understand that 'not everything is your fault'. when all the other therapists/friends/family always 100% told me everything that happens to me is entirely my fault. they also told me it was normal/healthy to vent my feelings by doing productive things (like writing, exercising, relaxing), rather than viewing that as 'not addressing the problem'.

      the issue with so much of this crap is that not only does nobody want to talk to men, it's that they don't want to listen and/or the tell us we are 'talking wrong'. even when we do talk to people, there is only a tiny window of acceptable things we an talk about and way we can talk about them or how selfish it is of him to vent/indulge his legitimate emotions.

      a woman can burst into tears over any little thing and everyone wants to help her. a man bursts into tears over his father dying of cancer and all the sudden everyone wants to tell him his reaction is too intense and he should be thinking of how he is making other people feel.

      Pretty much every guy has had someone in his life try to get him to 'open up' and then we he does he's met with nothing but hostility, disappointment, and eventually rejection. We are told to shut up and never talk about it again. Never, ever is he met with acceptance or love.

      B This user is from outside of this forum
      B This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote on last edited by [email protected]
      #149

      Nonsense. The idea that all psychological issues are defined by gender is just the perspective of someone who's never made any meaningful progress through therapy and/or counseling. Mental health is not a gendered issue and the repetition of this misconception just leads more people to give up without even trying. Yes, the lens of sexual identity comes into play, mainly in terms of cultural gender roles experienced in your part of the world. But, a well trained, experienced therapist will have these considerations while exploring issues you present with. I would argue, that psychiatrists (which is an even moreso male dominated field) are much more of an issue, because their objective is not to help you come to conclusions about yourself. It is to medicate your symptoms away to allow you to function. I am sorry you did not have a good experience yourself, but that is not reflective of therapy, or counseling as a whole and your characterisation of men vs women in therapy is sexist and sounds more like male influencer talking points than lived experience.

      T 1 Reply Last reply
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      • G [email protected]

        I fail to see malicious sexism. Do you mind quoting them?

        pupbiru@aussie.zoneP This user is from outside of this forum
        pupbiru@aussie.zoneP This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote on last edited by [email protected]
        #150

        i’d like to be very clear here… a lot of discussion about men’s spaces is thinly veiled sexism by incels… that doesn’t mean there’s not a problem, it just means that incels are attracted to “it’s not my fault”

        that said, there’s a comment up thread that captures it pretty well

        … mental health professionals all my 'issues' were blow way out of proportion … always 100% told me everything that happens to me is entirely my fault. they also told me it was normal/healthy to vent my feelings by doing productive things (like writing, exercising, relaxing), rather than viewing that as 'not addressing the problem'.

        the issue with so much of this crap is that not only does nobody want to talk to men, it's that they don't want to listen and/or the tell us we are 'talking wrong'. even when we do talk to people, there is only a tiny window of acceptable things we an talk about and way we can talk about them or how selfish it is of him to vent/indulge his legitimate emotions.

        … a man bursts into tears over his father dying of cancer and all the sudden everyone wants to tell him his reaction is too intense … someone in his life try to get him to 'open up' and then we he does he's met with nothing but hostility, disappointment, and eventually rejection

        it’s a meme (not in a “haha” joke way: in the actual meaning of the world; a thing that is repeated often) these days that there are horrible men who tell women (re sexism) “you must have misunderstood”… and the point of that is that men don’t have the life experience as a minority to be able to understand sexism, transphobia, etc (people treat them differently, and even if they see it they often can’t identify it because they’re not accustomed to listening for it 24/7)

        that same situation exists for men too… men are certainly not a minority, but nobody is allowed to say that someone’s experience is invalid… there’s a lot of people dismissing these experiences in this thread, and if it were reversed: a woman complaining about a man making a sexist comment, a gay man (of which i’m one) complaining about homophobia, there wouldn’t be any pushback at all because we’ve come to agree that this shit happens

        we know that toxic masculinity exists, we know that societal expectations of men are sky high (the suicide rate for men in particular is HUGE)… we’re clearly doing something wrong, as a society, dealing with male mental health… when people come out and tell us their experiences, it absolutely is sexist to write off those experiences as invalid: “i don’t think that kind of thing happens because i haven’t seen it”, is absolutely (anything)-ist language

        is it on the same level as problem as sexism or racism? probably not… but denying the problem helps nobody… denying the problem, in this case, makes the problem so much worse and pushes people to lash out and become sexist, racist, homophobic, etc (which is also not to remove blame from them - all those things are wrong and a personal choice and should have personal repercussions)

        G 1 Reply Last reply
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        • T [email protected]

          Yes they are. The genders are massivenly different in a lot of ways, and failure to acknowledge that is sexist.

          But keep screaming that anything that disagrees with your particular narrative that women are great and perpetual victims of men and men are always bad, I guess? Because that's not sexist, at all. lol

          it couldn't be that both men and women are people and both suffer from the same bullshit that they themselves perpetuate? nah.

          B This user is from outside of this forum
          B This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote on last edited by
          #151

          But keep screaming that anything that disagrees with your particular narrative that women are great and perpetual victims of men and men are always bad, I guess?

          Incel talk

          V 1 Reply Last reply
          2
          • T [email protected]

            Your comment is just very one sided and that’s the side that has the most power on the planet and as a member of that side I have just as much perspective of you and I’m here to say – nah to most of what you said.

            The only 'side' that has power is the wealthy. But keep banging your gender war drum, it probably gives you meaning and purpose in life to collectively blame 'me'n for all the worlds ills as if anyone who has a penis or wants a penis is entirely the same.

            Drink that kool aid. yum yum. Donald Trump and his buddies thank you for your vote.

            B This user is from outside of this forum
            B This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote on last edited by [email protected]
            #152

            The only ‘side’ that has power is the wealthy.

            Pivot to wealth inequality because?

            But keep banging your gender war drum, it probably gives you meaning and purpose in life to collectively blame 'me’n for all the worlds ills as if anyone who has a penis or wants a penis is entirely the same.

            You are the one who made the issue about differences in sex and/or gender.

            No wonder you made no progress in therapy. You're completely obtuse.

            Also, no one is blaming men for their life's problems. That person, would need therapy. Also, please don't speak for men as a pejorative, your views are not reflective of any kind of monolith within my sex as a class of people and continually self-victimising under the guise of speaking for men's issues is disingenuous and pathetic.

            T 1 Reply Last reply
            1
            • T [email protected]

              Your comment is just very one sided and that’s the side that has the most power on the planet and as a member of that side I have just as much perspective of you and I’m here to say – nah to most of what you said.

              The only 'side' that has power is the wealthy. But keep banging your gender war drum, it probably gives you meaning and purpose in life to collectively blame 'me'n for all the worlds ills as if anyone who has a penis or wants a penis is entirely the same.

              Drink that kool aid. yum yum. Donald Trump and his buddies thank you for your vote.

              doom@ttrpg.networkD This user is from outside of this forum
              doom@ttrpg.networkD This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote on last edited by
              #153

              This is why you sucked in therapy and found it unhelpful. You're pissy, jaded and uncomfortable with the concept of being wrong. Classic men shit.

              Empathy would fix that, show that you don't have to be so insecure because nobody else is that secure.

              J 1 Reply Last reply
              1
              • pupbiru@aussie.zoneP [email protected]

                i’d like to be very clear here… a lot of discussion about men’s spaces is thinly veiled sexism by incels… that doesn’t mean there’s not a problem, it just means that incels are attracted to “it’s not my fault”

                that said, there’s a comment up thread that captures it pretty well

                … mental health professionals all my 'issues' were blow way out of proportion … always 100% told me everything that happens to me is entirely my fault. they also told me it was normal/healthy to vent my feelings by doing productive things (like writing, exercising, relaxing), rather than viewing that as 'not addressing the problem'.

                the issue with so much of this crap is that not only does nobody want to talk to men, it's that they don't want to listen and/or the tell us we are 'talking wrong'. even when we do talk to people, there is only a tiny window of acceptable things we an talk about and way we can talk about them or how selfish it is of him to vent/indulge his legitimate emotions.

                … a man bursts into tears over his father dying of cancer and all the sudden everyone wants to tell him his reaction is too intense … someone in his life try to get him to 'open up' and then we he does he's met with nothing but hostility, disappointment, and eventually rejection

                it’s a meme (not in a “haha” joke way: in the actual meaning of the world; a thing that is repeated often) these days that there are horrible men who tell women (re sexism) “you must have misunderstood”… and the point of that is that men don’t have the life experience as a minority to be able to understand sexism, transphobia, etc (people treat them differently, and even if they see it they often can’t identify it because they’re not accustomed to listening for it 24/7)

                that same situation exists for men too… men are certainly not a minority, but nobody is allowed to say that someone’s experience is invalid… there’s a lot of people dismissing these experiences in this thread, and if it were reversed: a woman complaining about a man making a sexist comment, a gay man (of which i’m one) complaining about homophobia, there wouldn’t be any pushback at all because we’ve come to agree that this shit happens

                we know that toxic masculinity exists, we know that societal expectations of men are sky high (the suicide rate for men in particular is HUGE)… we’re clearly doing something wrong, as a society, dealing with male mental health… when people come out and tell us their experiences, it absolutely is sexist to write off those experiences as invalid: “i don’t think that kind of thing happens because i haven’t seen it”, is absolutely (anything)-ist language

                is it on the same level as problem as sexism or racism? probably not… but denying the problem helps nobody… denying the problem, in this case, makes the problem so much worse and pushes people to lash out and become sexist, racist, homophobic, etc (which is also not to remove blame from them - all those things are wrong and a personal choice and should have personal repercussions)

                G This user is from outside of this forum
                G This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote on last edited by
                #154

                I expected you to mean people exhibiting toxicity and not reporting about it. I was surprised because the comments seemed civil at large. Thank you.

                pupbiru@aussie.zoneP 1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • D [email protected]

                  What a clickbait. Of course people are picking feee resource with zero friction over 120$ an hour half a day event.

                  pupbiru@aussie.zoneP This user is from outside of this forum
                  pupbiru@aussie.zoneP This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #155

                  in australia we have (limited) free mental health services (i wanna say 8 free sessions with a therapist?)… this still holds true

                  it’s not only about money

                  Z 1 Reply Last reply
                  1
                  • B [email protected]

                    Who said I am a dude?

                    doom@ttrpg.networkD This user is from outside of this forum
                    doom@ttrpg.networkD This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #156

                    Dude is nongendered everyone is a dude, nice try tho trying to pull this though

                    B 1 Reply Last reply
                    1
                    • pupbiru@aussie.zoneP [email protected]

                      in australia we have (limited) free mental health services (i wanna say 8 free sessions with a therapist?)… this still holds true

                      it’s not only about money

                      Z This user is from outside of this forum
                      Z This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #157

                      Another aussie here, Headspace is great too

                      pupbiru@aussie.zoneP 1 Reply Last reply
                      1
                      • G [email protected]

                        I expected you to mean people exhibiting toxicity and not reporting about it. I was surprised because the comments seemed civil at large. Thank you.

                        pupbiru@aussie.zoneP This user is from outside of this forum
                        pupbiru@aussie.zoneP This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote on last edited by [email protected]
                        #158

                        yeah id say it’s not overt, but that’s kinda the problem… it’s almost difficult to identify, so when it comes to mental health for men a lot of the time society, therapists, etc almost gaslights us into thinking our problems aren’t problems

                        if it were overt it’d be easy to identify… the fact what it’s not, the fact that men are the majority, and are the problem in a lot of cases pushes people to certain conclusions (including ourselves about our own problems)

                        mental health is complex af

                        T 1 Reply Last reply
                        2
                        • doom@ttrpg.networkD [email protected]

                          Dude is nongendered everyone is a dude, nice try tho trying to pull this though

                          B This user is from outside of this forum
                          B This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #159

                          I don't agree

                          doom@ttrpg.networkD 1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • Z [email protected]

                            Another aussie here, Headspace is great too

                            pupbiru@aussie.zoneP This user is from outside of this forum
                            pupbiru@aussie.zoneP This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #160

                            yup! and absolutely worth the mention that if you’re queer (qlife), struggling with specific issues - alcohol, gambling, finance, eating disorders, etc - there’s specific support available to a lot of people in australia, the US, europe, etc

                            if you need help, help is available! find one of these services who can help you find the specific support that you need, and go from there 🙂

                            as a gay man, i found a lot more help when i started seeing services that specialised in queer health 🙂

                            yall deserve someone who understands what you’re going through in life

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            1
                            • B [email protected]

                              A profound relational revolution is underway, not orchestrated by tech developers but driven by users themselves. Many of the 400 million weekly users of ChatGPT are seeking more than just assistance with emails or information on food safety; they are looking for emotional support.

                              “Therapy and companionship” have emerged as two of the most frequent applications for generative AI globally, according to the Harvard Business Review. This trend marks a significant, unplanned pivot in how people interact with technology.

                              kingthrillgore@lemmy.mlK This user is from outside of this forum
                              kingthrillgore@lemmy.mlK This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote on last edited by [email protected]
                              #161

                              Of course men will go to an AI for their problems, they can't fathom going to a woman for honest advice.

                              And as a result, they gaslight themselves with a worse version of ELIZA.

                              modernrisk@lemmy.dbzer0.comM nostradavid@programming.devN 2 Replies Last reply
                              1
                              • B [email protected]

                                But keep screaming that anything that disagrees with your particular narrative that women are great and perpetual victims of men and men are always bad, I guess?

                                Incel talk

                                V This user is from outside of this forum
                                V This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #162

                                read the whole comment

                                B 1 Reply Last reply
                                3
                                • T [email protected]

                                  Amen.

                                  There is a boatload of bad therapists and bad therapy out there. And sadly it gets a lot more traction and popularity because well... it's simplistic and easy. It's the fast food of therapy.

                                  Good therapy is hard and long and complex. And most people simple don't want to deal with that. They want the diet pill version of therapy. Just make the bad feelings go away, and give me more good feelings.

                                  I don't think enough analogies are drawn between physical vs mental health. Anyone knows that legit physical health is a long and boring process that takes a lot of discipline and time. Mental health and wellness really isn't any different. Therapists should also be more like physical trainers... you need to have a specific goal in mind and work towards that goal and really and the endgame should be to no longer need the physical trainer/therapist

                                  Sadly in our economic system the incentive for a lot of people is the opposite and many bad therapist/trainers just want to generate dependency of their clients on themselves and as such they will indulge their clients worse habits to keep them hooked.

                                  a_random_idiot@lemmy.worldA This user is from outside of this forum
                                  a_random_idiot@lemmy.worldA This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #163

                                  Yeah.

                                  and there needs to be more oversight and punishment for objectively bad therapists. and I dont mean bad as in their program didnt work for you, i mean bad, like ones that spend an entire session fellating themselves over how awesome they are, or tell you that they arent here to listen to you bitch and moan about your problems (someone I knew had a therapist say that to them) or whatever other objectively awful things bad therapists too.

                                  and there needs to be more education about therapy, and how there are many different styles and approaches.. and not all work for everyone, The system should incentivize people being able to tell their therapist they appreciate their time, but it doesnt feel like their approach is working, and get refered to a different one with a different approach without drama, extra cost, extra paperwork, or headache.

                                  T 1 Reply Last reply
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                                  • kingthrillgore@lemmy.mlK [email protected]

                                    Of course men will go to an AI for their problems, they can't fathom going to a woman for honest advice.

                                    And as a result, they gaslight themselves with a worse version of ELIZA.

                                    modernrisk@lemmy.dbzer0.comM This user is from outside of this forum
                                    modernrisk@lemmy.dbzer0.comM This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #164

                                    Of course men will go to an AI for their problems, they can't fathom going to a woman for honest advice.

                                    This seems a bit far-fetched, don’t you think? There could be so many reasons as to why someone would rather use AI than going to another person for advice (this is not just about women).

                                    Honestly, as someone who actually went to therapy and yes, my therapist was a woman. It’s was quite tough to open up and be vulnerable.

                                    I think for some people using AI, they might feel as if they’re not that vulnerable because it is not a person. However, they don’t realize that there’s data is being gathered.

                                    And as a result, they gaslight themselves with a worse version of ELIZA.

                                    With this, I can’t figure out whether you’re serious, trolling or just writing randomly.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
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                                    • B [email protected]

                                      I don't agree

                                      doom@ttrpg.networkD This user is from outside of this forum
                                      doom@ttrpg.networkD This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #165

                                      good thing you're an authority on nothing then

                                      revelrous@sopuli.xyzR 1 Reply Last reply
                                      1
                                      • P [email protected]

                                        Focus on fixing your country and making it a decent place to live. That way you don't need to go anywhere. That's what we've been doing for decades, and it works.

                                        S This user is from outside of this forum
                                        S This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #166

                                        You are the one that made this all about what does and doesn't apply to a specific area or country, into being a pro or anti whatever specific nationality discussion.

                                        Like I don't disagree that we should fix our own country, it is our responsibility... but you could have just said 'Damn, is it really that bad in the States?' or something like that, without being dismissive and hostile for... basically the only reason is you're tired of hearing about America I guess?

                                        ???

                                        Sorry I exist?

                                        P 1 Reply Last reply
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                                        • T [email protected]

                                          what makes you think their gender is even relevant to their practice?

                                          spankmonkey@lemmy.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
                                          spankmonkey@lemmy.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #167

                                          They are human beings who are more frequently able to relate to people who are similar to them based on shared experiences including social pressures. I don't think either gender is unable to relate to the other gender, but social pressure is pretty strong and leads to common outcomes that involve pressures based race, gender, and economic status among others. Someone from a wealthy family is more likely to have a certain outlook compared to someone who had food insecurity as a child.

                                          T 1 Reply Last reply
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