bisexual
-
There's bunch of stereotypes surrounding bisexuals. For example, that bisexuality doesn't exist -- like that they're actually gay, but won't admit it, or it's a stepping-stone to being gay. Or that they're actually straight but just fucking with lesbians and won't ever commit, or that they're promiscuous and will always cheat. Or, that once they do settle down it'll always be with an opposite-gender partner. Or that they're cowards who'll mask their queerness instead of supporting the LGBTQA+ community, since they can always pretend to be straight... and so much more! It fucking sucks!
But like... Why wouldn't they be allowed to do any of those things by others? Like are they the internal investigation department of free love movement like it's a fucking paradox? Did they forget in 0.1ms it's not up to them who I fuck?
-
The most biphobic people I've ever seen are gay people. They hate bi people more than your average straight homophobe hates gay people. It's really weird.
I like to think they're jealous that we get rejected twice as much as anyone else.
-
But like... Why wouldn't they be allowed to do any of those things by others? Like are they the internal investigation department of free love movement like it's a fucking paradox? Did they forget in 0.1ms it's not up to them who I fuck?
I won't pretend that some negative stereotypes about bisexuals don't originate from broken-hearted unisexual folks' lived experience (which is still no excuse to defame all bisexuals), but a lot -- A LOT -- of bisexual stereotypes and erasure comes from old-fashioned homophobia.
-
I mean it's obviously different from person to person, but the gay people I've met, especially lesbians, have a genuine irrational fear and hatred of bi people. They're terrified that bi people will cheat on them or will leave them for straight people. They see them as straight people who are pretending to be gay rather than actually being bi.
Wellll, my wife is bi. I have a constant (not really constant, just when my insecurity is dragged out by a nightmare or something) nagging fear that she’ll leave me for a woman one day. (I’m a man).
Maybe it’s just an extra layer because it potentially opens more doors.
You know how some things people say just echo in your head forever? You hear a thousand points from a thousand people and most of it just goes in one ear and out the other, but something sticks for some reason or other and it just echoes in your brain.
An idiot, misogynist, redneck said to me, “once ‘ey get uh little pussy it’s a matter uh time. They want it like anybody who wants it, and they won’t go without it forever.”
When I’m feeling particularly insecure, that dumb shit just shows up in my brain.
I’m aware that I’m being stupid. I don’t express this to my wife because I’m being stupid and I know it.
Well, overly stupid people scream their insecurities out loud constantly.
I’ve met some really, really stupid gay people. They’re people like anyone else, of course.
The truth is, if I were to hand myself over to my sexuality entirely, I’d be fucking as many people as I could as often as possible. My sexuality isn’t all I am. It’s a small part of who I am. I just have to trust that my wife is as serious about us as I am. She hasn’t given me a reason not to trust her.
I guess my point is, idiot+insecure=bigotry.
If my wife ever leaves me for a woman, I won’t let it verify my insecurity. She could just as easily leave me for a man. No point in letting my insecurities make me a bigot. Gay people aren’t immune to bigotry.
-
I like to think they're jealous that we get rejected twice as much as anyone else.
I never understood biphobia, a bi person choosing to be in a relationship with you means that they chose you out of everybody. It should be a feeling of flattery, not paranoia.
-
The most biphobic people I've ever seen are gay people. They hate bi people more than your average straight homophobe hates gay people. It's really weird.
Pick a hole and stick with it, I guess.
-
While the joke is indisputably funny, it’s important to remind everyone that it’s still a harmful stereotype. Bi/pan erasure is a genuine problem. You don’t stop being bi/pan simply because you enter a monogamous relationship.
More seriously, I think erasure is only part of it. Lots of LGBTQ folks deliberately remain in the closet for the sake of family relationships, careers, and local politics.
If you're bi, it's just easier.
But that heterosexual camouflage does get confusing to process when you "come out". Especially with the reactionary attitude that heterosexuality is a choice.
-
The most biphobic people I've ever seen are gay people. They hate bi people more than your average straight homophobe hates gay people. It's really weird.
reminds me of the scene in chasing amy where alyssa gets ostracized by her lesbian club because shes now dating a guy
-
I mean it's obviously different from person to person, but the gay people I've met, especially lesbians, have a genuine irrational fear and hatred of bi people. They're terrified that bi people will cheat on them or will leave them for straight people. They see them as straight people who are pretending to be gay rather than actually being bi.
At least anecdotally, I’ve seen it happen multiple times. There’s this subset in the dating pool who want to give meeting with other women a try.
-
Wellll, my wife is bi. I have a constant (not really constant, just when my insecurity is dragged out by a nightmare or something) nagging fear that she’ll leave me for a woman one day. (I’m a man).
Maybe it’s just an extra layer because it potentially opens more doors.
You know how some things people say just echo in your head forever? You hear a thousand points from a thousand people and most of it just goes in one ear and out the other, but something sticks for some reason or other and it just echoes in your brain.
An idiot, misogynist, redneck said to me, “once ‘ey get uh little pussy it’s a matter uh time. They want it like anybody who wants it, and they won’t go without it forever.”
When I’m feeling particularly insecure, that dumb shit just shows up in my brain.
I’m aware that I’m being stupid. I don’t express this to my wife because I’m being stupid and I know it.
Well, overly stupid people scream their insecurities out loud constantly.
I’ve met some really, really stupid gay people. They’re people like anyone else, of course.
The truth is, if I were to hand myself over to my sexuality entirely, I’d be fucking as many people as I could as often as possible. My sexuality isn’t all I am. It’s a small part of who I am. I just have to trust that my wife is as serious about us as I am. She hasn’t given me a reason not to trust her.
I guess my point is, idiot+insecure=bigotry.
If my wife ever leaves me for a woman, I won’t let it verify my insecurity. She could just as easily leave me for a man. No point in letting my insecurities make me a bigot. Gay people aren’t immune to bigotry.
You said wise things, but I suggest considering expressing your wife these insecurities. Maybe that will help you come to terms with them and you can find some strategies so she can effectively reassure you.
-
I won't pretend that some negative stereotypes about bisexuals don't originate from broken-hearted unisexual folks' lived experience (which is still no excuse to defame all bisexuals), but a lot -- A LOT -- of bisexual stereotypes and erasure comes from old-fashioned homophobia.
Unisexuals when they see a unicycle
-
Unisexuals when they see a unicycle
Or a unibrow.
Rrrrawwr.
-
Wellll, my wife is bi. I have a constant (not really constant, just when my insecurity is dragged out by a nightmare or something) nagging fear that she’ll leave me for a woman one day. (I’m a man).
Maybe it’s just an extra layer because it potentially opens more doors.
You know how some things people say just echo in your head forever? You hear a thousand points from a thousand people and most of it just goes in one ear and out the other, but something sticks for some reason or other and it just echoes in your brain.
An idiot, misogynist, redneck said to me, “once ‘ey get uh little pussy it’s a matter uh time. They want it like anybody who wants it, and they won’t go without it forever.”
When I’m feeling particularly insecure, that dumb shit just shows up in my brain.
I’m aware that I’m being stupid. I don’t express this to my wife because I’m being stupid and I know it.
Well, overly stupid people scream their insecurities out loud constantly.
I’ve met some really, really stupid gay people. They’re people like anyone else, of course.
The truth is, if I were to hand myself over to my sexuality entirely, I’d be fucking as many people as I could as often as possible. My sexuality isn’t all I am. It’s a small part of who I am. I just have to trust that my wife is as serious about us as I am. She hasn’t given me a reason not to trust her.
I guess my point is, idiot+insecure=bigotry.
If my wife ever leaves me for a woman, I won’t let it verify my insecurity. She could just as easily leave me for a man. No point in letting my insecurities make me a bigot. Gay people aren’t immune to bigotry.
I have very rarely had a bad outcome from speaking honestly and straightforwardly to people that I care about.
-
This post did not contain any content.
I think you can only be properly bi if you're simultaneously railing a cishet female while being railed by a homosexual male.
/s
-
Seriously? I have to tell my wife. She's sometimes open and sometimes closed to the idea of a threesome or just bisexuality.
From my experience its a little different for women.
-
This post did not contain any content.
Hey, I'm in this meme!
-
I never understood biphobia, a bi person choosing to be in a relationship with you means that they chose you out of everybody. It should be a feeling of flattery, not paranoia.
When I came out to my wife, that was her reaction. I picked damn well
-
I have very rarely had a bad outcome from speaking honestly and straightforwardly to people that I care about.
I grew up in a cult. After I got out, my experience generally mirrors yours but damn I have some family members.
-
I think you can only be properly bi if you're simultaneously railing a cishet female while being railed by a homosexual male.
/s
-
This post did not contain any content.
I always figured bi (or pansexual) was the default setting for humans. Most guys at least are flexible, if there is not a woman around any port in a storm, and if you weren't raised with any conditioning it seems more normal to love individuals, not categories.
