Yea I wasn't sure how I thought they grew, but I never would have guessed that. I saw them at the supermarket on the stem and I was like wtf

I can't believe you just spent an hour hotgluing brussel sprouts to a small tree just to trick people on the internet

Oh no that’s not even them as babies. That’s like two years in.

This is baby asparagus. It takes forever to develop to actual asperagus stage.

never really thought about it

I’m a breastparagus man myself

4 years isn't it? I looked into it back in the 90s, decided hell no. LOL, it was suggested to dig a 4' deep trench to plant them.

That’s probably right. I think they become recognizable as asperagus around 2 years in. We had some, about two years in when were in a mobile home park. Swapped owners so they hired new lawn keepers… who fucking killed them right when they were almost harvestable god I was so mad.

And here I always thought they grew like tiny cabbages

I even traveled all the way to brussels to get them just for this prank.

So someone bought asparagus from the market, stuck it in the ground, took a picture, and it's indistinguishable from the real thing?

Otherwise it's surely not a shitpost

Wait until you hear how closely related they are to cabbages

You could have given me a million guesses and I wouldn't have arrived at that!

Dad that's gross, geez!

I'll see your Brussels Sprouts, and raise you Cashews:

It's extremely low maintenance once it establishes though which is nice.

I see your brussels sprouts and raise you pineapples:

I've seen markets sell brussels sprouts on the stalk but I didn't know it had leaves.

I figured the leaves were the brussels sprouts,

Thanks for the info.

On another branch of that family tree, those leaves are kale.

Aren't the tops edible too? I wonder how the little shriveled bean thing on the end became internationally popular but the juicy looking fruit on top isn't. Like, every cashew harvested has to have the fruity part too, what do they all get used for?

They’re called cashew apples. You can find them at asian and latin grocery stores sometimes. Never had one, but i hear they are tasty, they’re hard to transport, though, so you have to be in the right areas to find them.

I'm sorry, I'm still in awe that anyone would hear that asparagus needs two years to grow enough for a viable harvest and still think it's worth doing