Slurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp
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In the florescent bathroom of food court, nano crouched by the toilet, vomiting his guts up after consuming the kernel-krush slushie.
He thought being the lowest common denominator was bad; used by noob sysadmins and confused interns, until this moment.
The slushie hadn’t tasted right. It was supposed to be "Byteblast Blueberry," but it had an aftertaste of burnt silicone and magic smoke. Something in it was wrong. nano could feel it rewriting him from the inside.
lines of strange lua code scrawled across the back of his eyelids. His .bash_history was being overwritten. His sense of indentation… sharpened.
As his tremors subsided and the last of the neon goo slid down the drain, he looked up into the cracked mirror. Something had changed.
His terminal font was crisper. His cursor… blinking with authority. And there, under the stall's flickering light, he whispered:
"...:wq"
Suddenly, the doors of ever bathroom stall flung open in unison, people shit themselves in fear as his inner thoughts wrote themselves onto the walls of his stall.
nano inhaled deeply, as a familiar scent wafted from under the entrance door, and a shadow stretched to the far wall.
"emacs..." He muttered to himself, before the entrance door crashed open. emacs snorted and coughed, this bloated monstrosity, confused for a text editor, was actually an operating system.
"Poor little nano" he chuckled "serves you right for trying to be more than a fuckin' stepping stone. Why don't you go hang out with Edge and Bing, you're about as useful as a clippy themed Chrome extension."
emacs' voice reverberated through the tiled chamber like a RAM leak in a core dump. His trenchcoat, stitched from thousands of unreadable .el files, dragged behind him.
neovim exited the bathroom stall, letting emacs bask in his new glory for the first time.
"Fuck off, Emacs. You press seven keys just to copy a line."
A silence fell across the stalls. Somewhere, a urinal cake cracked.
Emacs stepped forward, snarling. "I’m the past and the future, nano. I’ve got an email client, a music player, a fucking psychiatrist built-in. You? You’re a Hello World that got a pity install"
neovims eyes narrowed, one coloured gruvbox, the other catppuccin as he clenched his first "My name... Is Neo (vim)"
Next time:
neovim & emacs - Battle of the Keybinds
Will neovims LSP destroy emacs s-expressions?
Can emacs remember how to quit in time?
lel awesome text. so many great lines...
His .bash_history was being overwritten. His sense of indentation… sharpened.
...
His cursor… blinking with authority.
...
Suddenly, the doors of ever bathroom stall flung open in unison, people shit themselves in fear as his inner thoughts wrote themselves onto the walls of his stall. -
Find me a cheap board with that many video out's
I bet passing the butter seems like a pretty sweet robot gig right about now.
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200ml tequila 400mg ritalin 3mg lsd 3 scoops vanilla(? Need help with the flavor) ice cream 200ml milk or plain yogurt
Salt rim with cocaine and ascorbic acid sip gently.
Edit: do not drink this. This is the second most dangerous coctail recipe I've ever written.
wrote last edited by [email protected]Ok, but ... 3mg of lsd is a lot for the whole class, same with them amphetamines.
And on the other hand you serve tequila & milk in breakfast numbers?
I'm not saying I'm not writing this down, but damn.
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That's no BIOS. That's systemd.
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In 2025 we boot a whole Linux system to display a logo.
Does it run Wayland?
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In 2025 we boot a whole Linux system to display a logo.
Does it run Wayland?
I've never seen one of these, but I assume it performs other functions - surely monitoring sensors, probably reporting that data, maybe allowing triggering maintenance functions, etc.
That said, processing and storage is so cheap on this scale that it's probably better (and cheaper) to go with a tried and true, widely supported system, than it is to optimize with custom hardware/firmware.
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That's no BIOS. That's systemd.
I guess I'm the kind of person that can spot a systemd screen from across the room now
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In 2025 we boot a whole Linux system to display a logo.
Does it run Wayland?
a whole linux system isn't even all that crazy. if it runs doom it can probably also run linux so probably everything from a potato to a dog's left testicle can run linux.
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It's not the bios and they'll never get a bsod. It's a damn systemd unit.
didn't systemd add a bsod equivalent some months ago? iirc optional default off so nobody will ever see it?
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Next time take a better picture so we can tell you how to fix it.
The flash memory the OS is stored on is borked.
Filesystem check shows dependency errors attempting to check ext4 fs on /dev/mmcblk0p2. Assuming ext4 and fsck are installed (it should be if this isn't a mega-custom ultra stripped down private distribution) this shouldn't be possible.
Further down networking fails to initialize leading to a bunch of fails before it succeeds and reaches its target, only to be stopped by the dependency errors again.
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Ok, but ... 3mg of lsd is a lot for the whole class, same with them amphetamines.
And on the other hand you serve tequila & milk in breakfast numbers?
I'm not saying I'm not writing this down, but damn.
wrote last edited by [email protected]It's the 'kernel panic' not the '40000 calorie gallon heart exploder'. Shoukd fit in like a normal glass/mug.
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a whole linux system isn't even all that crazy. if it runs doom it can probably also run linux so probably everything from a potato to a dog's left testicle can run linux.
wrote last edited by [email protected]Kind of discriminatory, what about the right??
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Or at least how to run DOOM on it.
Oh. Easily. But you cant affordenough slushie to finish a level.
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easier to buy 10 rpis than a single embedded system with 10 diplay ports
wrote last edited by [email protected]Dont need remotely a full rpi for this. A pico or esp32 might do the trick.
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Kind of discriminatory, what about the right??
The right potato will work just fine.
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In 2025 we boot a whole Linux system to display a logo.
Does it run Wayland?
I feel like that isn't that far fetched, considering this machine probably has some sort of Internet connectivity so you can update the labels remotely and do other remote maintenance/monitoring tasks.
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drink it fast enough...
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I hope the machine is up to the job. I'd pack at least 64 gigs of RAM and a nice GPU.
At some point you realize that the slushee has melted in the face of your system's 1000 W TDP...
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Dont need remotely a full rpi for this. A pico or esp32 might do the trick.
This is being produced in relatively low numbers (thousands) , so software development is a factor. Just plopping a scripted browser in kiosk mode on Debian is cheaper than ESP32 UI development.
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Flavor.exe caused a kernel panic
