You guys have any conversation starters to offer a poor lemming?
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The semester is starting back up and i'm terrible at speaking words.
This doesn't have to be aimed at college students, just conversation starters anywhere would be very much appreciated.
Fashion compliments if you see someone wearing a cool shirt or a good looking style, makes the day of the person, even if no followup conversation happens! (i got a compliment regarding a shirt once, and i am still thinking back to that - it's been years)
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Situational commentary is a great way to start. Look around, comment on what you see to your soon-to-be conversation partner. Especially easy if anything out of the ordinary happens: thunderstorm, someone busking, squirrel appears etc. Make a comment, ask a question, go with the flow
Correct answer.
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"Have you noticed gum has gotten mintier lately?"
You just reignited an ancient synapse. I'm now forced to use it at work on Monday.
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The semester is starting back up and i'm terrible at speaking words.
This doesn't have to be aimed at college students, just conversation starters anywhere would be very much appreciated.
wrote last edited by [email protected]For people I know a little I usually talk about something recent that happened in one of our common areas of interest (e.g. new game releases, what we played recently, what annoyed or hyped me, books we bought and / or read, ...).
Another friend of mine became a parent two years ago and this and the house they are currently building are actually the only things she can talk about anymore, so I adapted and usually start with something one of my niblings did recently (e.g. my 3 year old niece told everyone she can't wait to finally grow up and can do what she wants like going alone to school, eat fries and dance! All very nice life goals IMHO and a good convo starter :D)
For people I know less I try to find something that relates to the current situation (like how I experience things, or what they are currently doing, ...). I feel like it's important, that you are genuine as in you are actually interested in what you are talking about and what the other person has to say.
E.g. after class you can discuss your perception of the lesson (that was loooong / interesting / difficult / ...) and ask them how they perceived it. Or if you meet someone for the first time you can ask how they decided to go to this class and continue from there.
Fun fact: I found my friends at uni (still friends > 10 years later) by befriending the weirdest guy in the group and then being introduced by him. He loved to talk about toilets, maths and how he felt like the Mensa was his new mom. He was super smart and weird and actually everyone liked him because he was honest and real. I used this as a cue to overshare all my weird family stories in that group (not the best conversation starters), I guess the shock value still worked
In the end it feels way more difficult, than it is. I still sweat like I've walked a marathon every time. The best tip is that you're genuinely interested in what the other person has to say. If something really doesn't interest you, engage in another topic or ask friendly for more insights, maybe you'll learn something new. Stay friendly and appreciate the time, the person is spending with you and you're good!
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The semester is starting back up and i'm terrible at speaking words.
This doesn't have to be aimed at college students, just conversation starters anywhere would be very much appreciated.
Did you see that ludicrous display last night?
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The semester is starting back up and i'm terrible at speaking words.
This doesn't have to be aimed at college students, just conversation starters anywhere would be very much appreciated.
As another commenter said, situational commentary is a good way to start a convo with a stranger.
But your deeper issue is almost certainly anxiety. The real way you learn to start conversation is by just saying whatever the fuck. Then notice if people are interested, amused, confused, angry, etc - and then continuing from there. Over time, you naturally, without trying, start thinking of things which garber positive reactions from others, and become more adept at guaging their reactions, which drives further inprovement. Anxiety hinders you on both of these fronts - taking action (saying something) and noticing peoples reactions.
Be aware of this anxiety, notice it, and remind yourself that it doesn't actually mean anything. If you say something weird, so what? Lots of people say weird things in college. That's what college is for. Being a good conversationalist is a skill, and as a skill, you will suck at it at first. Sucking at it is simply part of the process. So allow yourself the ability to suck at conversations long enough to get good at them.
If you know you are going to be in an informal group setting (for example, going on a camping trip where everyone will be sitting around a campfire), get a copy of the book 3000 Questions About Me. Everyone takes turns thinking of a random number between 1 and 3000, and then everyone answers the question. It's kind of a fun game, but it gets deep really fast.
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The semester is starting back up and i'm terrible at speaking words.
This doesn't have to be aimed at college students, just conversation starters anywhere would be very much appreciated.
Show them your white crystal
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The semester is starting back up and i'm terrible at speaking words.
This doesn't have to be aimed at college students, just conversation starters anywhere would be very much appreciated.
Our climate is getting so bad it's becoming a very good conversation starters. Hehe, a bit dark but it's actually true. Don't know how to start a conversation? Just ask about yesterday's weather and comment about how hot or cold yesterday was. Or maybe ask about how it's getting hotter or getting colder each year.
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The semester is starting back up and i'm terrible at speaking words.
This doesn't have to be aimed at college students, just conversation starters anywhere would be very much appreciated.
wrote last edited by [email protected]I started training myself by asking people for the time. I don't think that works so well now that everybody has a phone on them all of the time. I would also compliment people on something they were wearing, for example. Everybody loves that.
It's easier to start with something small like that. Then once you're comfortable asking and interacting with someone about that simple question, you can go for something more open ended.
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The semester is starting back up and i'm terrible at speaking words.
This doesn't have to be aimed at college students, just conversation starters anywhere would be very much appreciated.
Do you want or actually need to talk? I know that places like the US love their smalltalk, but a lot of the world is perfectly content to sit in silence.
If you need or want to for some reason, it seems like you got some good info in other comments. Do read the room for receptiveness, I guess. Realize that, as with any skill, it takes practice and building.
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For people I know a little I usually talk about something recent that happened in one of our common areas of interest (e.g. new game releases, what we played recently, what annoyed or hyped me, books we bought and / or read, ...).
Another friend of mine became a parent two years ago and this and the house they are currently building are actually the only things she can talk about anymore, so I adapted and usually start with something one of my niblings did recently (e.g. my 3 year old niece told everyone she can't wait to finally grow up and can do what she wants like going alone to school, eat fries and dance! All very nice life goals IMHO and a good convo starter :D)
For people I know less I try to find something that relates to the current situation (like how I experience things, or what they are currently doing, ...). I feel like it's important, that you are genuine as in you are actually interested in what you are talking about and what the other person has to say.
E.g. after class you can discuss your perception of the lesson (that was loooong / interesting / difficult / ...) and ask them how they perceived it. Or if you meet someone for the first time you can ask how they decided to go to this class and continue from there.
Fun fact: I found my friends at uni (still friends > 10 years later) by befriending the weirdest guy in the group and then being introduced by him. He loved to talk about toilets, maths and how he felt like the Mensa was his new mom. He was super smart and weird and actually everyone liked him because he was honest and real. I used this as a cue to overshare all my weird family stories in that group (not the best conversation starters), I guess the shock value still worked
In the end it feels way more difficult, than it is. I still sweat like I've walked a marathon every time. The best tip is that you're genuinely interested in what the other person has to say. If something really doesn't interest you, engage in another topic or ask friendly for more insights, maybe you'll learn something new. Stay friendly and appreciate the time, the person is spending with you and you're good!
Thanks, this is a really insightful response.
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The semester is starting back up and i'm terrible at speaking words.
This doesn't have to be aimed at college students, just conversation starters anywhere would be very much appreciated.
Would you rather talk to an Australopithecus or a whale?
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The semester is starting back up and i'm terrible at speaking words.
This doesn't have to be aimed at college students, just conversation starters anywhere would be very much appreciated.
wrote last edited by [email protected]Here's your cliché small talk starter: the weather.
- Nice weather out today, huh? (Sprinkle sarcasm or adjust to match actual weather conditions)
UK version:
- Gloomy weather as usual, innit?
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The semester is starting back up and i'm terrible at speaking words.
This doesn't have to be aimed at college students, just conversation starters anywhere would be very much appreciated.
wrote last edited by [email protected]When making small talk, ask for opinions farther down someone's list. Like, "What was the third best trip you ever took?" It catches people off guard in a good way, and garners better answers than asking for their top choice.
You can do it the other way, too. Saying, "that was the fourth funniest thing I have ever seen" immediately prompts questions from your audience. Just be ready with a good follow-up story if you try this.
Another option is to learn little party tricks that don't require much talking. Learn to fold simple origami, or some coin tricks, or whatever. When you're with a group of people and you don't know what to add to the conversation, you quietly do your thing until someone notices. Suddenly a banal moment becomes a memorable moment and you didn't have to say anything.
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The semester is starting back up and i'm terrible at speaking words.
This doesn't have to be aimed at college students, just conversation starters anywhere would be very much appreciated.
Eat any good books lately?
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Wut was Wenguh finkin sendin Walcaw in!?
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The thing about Arsenal is they're always trying to walk it in.
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Fashion compliments if you see someone wearing a cool shirt or a good looking style, makes the day of the person, even if no followup conversation happens! (i got a compliment regarding a shirt once, and i am still thinking back to that - it's been years)
Just check yourself against accidental sexism/intimidation, because I'm sure no lemming would do it on purpose, and rephrase if necessary.
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The semester is starting back up and i'm terrible at speaking words.
This doesn't have to be aimed at college students, just conversation starters anywhere would be very much appreciated.
wrote last edited by [email protected]Ask them if they knew that g is roughly pi^2, and ask them if they knew it's not a coincidence
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Hello fellow humans! Have you consumed any good carbohydrates today?
wrote last edited by [email protected]Greetings fellow humans! have you consumed your daily complex carbohydrates and proteins today, and consumed a liquid with a organic suspension of the extracts from the plants coffea arabica.
