You guys have any conversation starters to offer a poor lemming?
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The semester is starting back up and i'm terrible at speaking words.
This doesn't have to be aimed at college students, just conversation starters anywhere would be very much appreciated.
Not a great lead itself, but a useful poke a hippy at a festival taught me when the opening conversation starts to fizzle out a bit: "what do you want to tell me? It can be anything at all, take a moment to think about it." Then sit with the silence a bit (don't stare at them, let them think).
Some people will tell you some wild shit and/or open up like crazy if given this invitation. The person who used it on me got my whole life story, shit I was trying to work through by (in part) being there in the first place, etc. The last person who I did this with told me some defining moments in the development of their politics and worldview.
Create comfort, give an open invitation and a little space, and you'd be surprised how quickly you might move from small talk to more substantial stuff. Recommend everyone try it once just to see what the outcome is, so far it's been pretty neat.
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The semester is starting back up and i'm terrible at speaking words.
This doesn't have to be aimed at college students, just conversation starters anywhere would be very much appreciated.
wrote last edited by [email protected]My favorite conversation starter works great in college but also everywhere else! But you have to actually be interested in the answer, whatever it may be.
“So, what have you learned or learned about recently, say in the last 6 months, that you found particularly interesting, and what about it is interesting to you?”
They usually ask for some sort of clarification because nobody starts conversations this way, and I frequently have to emphasize that I want to know what they found interesting, not what they think I will find interesting.. But if they have anything to talk about, you’ll hear it, very quickly. Saves a ton of time with small talk (I’m low-masking autistic; small talk is pain)
One of my favorites was some random old guy at a bar who designed the machines for making trash bags. He told me about some new design quirk he’d come across that was going to improve the machines, and he was very pleased to tell me all about how it worked and could be implemented.
It also weeds out boring people who legit have nothing other than themselves to talk about, like the people who try to explain sports or something.. if that’s really what they are into, cool, but they never choose interesting deep info, just basic superficial stuff. Those conversations never go anywhere, but at least I didn’t waste much time!
This also works with friends you’ve had for ages! It’s a great “I have nothing to talk about but I’m bored and want to talk to you” sort of thing.
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This is an old post i saved for this kind of moment so here ya go.
About 6 or 7 years ago my college roommate told me: Conversation isn’t something any one person is good or bad at, it’s a skill like anything else. Everything changed once I thought about it like this.
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The more new people you talk to the easier it is. Especially the opposite sex.
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Everyone else has their own anxieties and fears. They’re just better at hiding it or masking it than you. Use this to your advantage to point out things you have in common and relate to them.
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When someone talks, LISTEN. Don’t worry about your posture, your dog, your clothing. Listen to them. If you don’t understand something, stop them and ask. Engage with them. Everyone you meet knows something you don’t know.
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Ask open ended questions. Don’t ask, “Did you have a good day?” Instead ask “What was the best part about your day?” “What’s your favorite and least favorite thing about your job?” Make them feel important. Everyone loves to talk about themselves. So do you. Take that feeling and shove it way down. When they ask about you, that’s your turn to shine. If they don’t, you don’t really want to be friends anyway.
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Never one-up people. Even if you are way better, or know way more than the person talking to you, build them up.
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If someone is telling a story or saying something and they get cut off, find the next opportunity to bring them back in. “Hey, _______ you were talking about X, what did you want to say?”
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Laugh at their jokes. Laugh at your jokes. We’re all weird brains walking around in these skin things. Don’t take it so seriously.
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You will remember your mistakes WAY more than anyone else. Stop taking yourself so seriously.
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My last and 2nd most important tip. Start every conversation with a compliment. I don’t care if they’re a dude and you’re straight as fuck. I don’t care if they’re mean, evil to you, or disagree with you politically in every way. Find something about the way they look, and compliment it. Someone did this to me once when I was a new guest at someone’s apartment. “Hey man, that’s an awesome jacket, where’d you get it?” I fucking loved that jacket. And I was self conscious about it. I felt instantly at home.
Take the things you like, and be that person for someone else. If you’re on a date, be genuinely interested in that person.
These are things that worked for me. Find your own style.
The #1 tip!! Go into EVERY room as if people will like you. Seriously. Walk through any door, in front of any group of people and smile. They. Will. Like you. Keep that in the front of your mind and you will enjoy conversations with anyone.
As someone who used to be terrible at socializing but had to learn because I'm an extrovert you've more or less summed it up.
Charisma is real and it's a factor, but it's more like having a good voice and natural presence for public speaking rather than the skills to confront stage fright, properly comport yourself on stage, and work with an audience. A person with 0 interpersonal charisma may never be making a living off socialization, but if they build skills they can easily be well liked and have plenty of friends and a partner. Meanwhile a person with a ton of charisma and no social skills is going to have a hard time keeping people around.
But yeah, practice, practice, practice. And as someone else said, benign comments are great tools. "Some weather we've been having", complimenting something someone is wearing especially if it's bold (as someone who likes bold looks "that [thing] is bold and you make it work" is great), or even "ugh this is way too [early/late/midday] for this [everyday bullshit]
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t = 2pi*sqrt(m/(mg/l)) is the pendulum formula, it directly calls pi and g.
it's outdated, yes, but it's really close to what we currently use as a meter. and the fact that it's really close made it easier to switch to the new meter basis.The meter is now defined based on the speed of light and a very short time interval.
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What that bussy do?
Do you come here often?
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The semester is starting back up and i'm terrible at speaking words.
This doesn't have to be aimed at college students, just conversation starters anywhere would be very much appreciated.
What music/game/ movie have you been into lately ?
What have you created lately?
How do you feel about the inevitable heat death of the universe and the patriarchy?
All normal things
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The semester is starting back up and i'm terrible at speaking words.
This doesn't have to be aimed at college students, just conversation starters anywhere would be very much appreciated.
“Hey, I'm kinda lost [and you look a bit lost too]. Do you mind if we band together until we figure things out?”
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The semester is starting back up and i'm terrible at speaking words.
This doesn't have to be aimed at college students, just conversation starters anywhere would be very much appreciated.
Hey! I am new here, and I would like to get my fellow students. My name is u/pineapple lover, who are you?
By the way, the English language needs a word for fellow student. In german that's Kommilitone. It's a good word.
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hearty pirate laughter
"ARR ARR ARRR!"
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The semester is starting back up and i'm terrible at speaking words.
This doesn't have to be aimed at college students, just conversation starters anywhere would be very much appreciated.
have you ever killed a man?
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"ARR ARR ARRR!"
Yes, this is indeed what it sounds like. But when I wrote it out like that, I couldn't help but imagine seal noises.
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Not a great lead itself, but a useful poke a hippy at a festival taught me when the opening conversation starts to fizzle out a bit: "what do you want to tell me? It can be anything at all, take a moment to think about it." Then sit with the silence a bit (don't stare at them, let them think).
Some people will tell you some wild shit and/or open up like crazy if given this invitation. The person who used it on me got my whole life story, shit I was trying to work through by (in part) being there in the first place, etc. The last person who I did this with told me some defining moments in the development of their politics and worldview.
Create comfort, give an open invitation and a little space, and you'd be surprised how quickly you might move from small talk to more substantial stuff. Recommend everyone try it once just to see what the outcome is, so far it's been pretty neat.
I absolutely love this. Also, what's a poke-a-hippy?
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have you ever killed a man?
No.....? Have you?
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Hey! I am new here, and I would like to get my fellow students. My name is u/pineapple lover, who are you?
By the way, the English language needs a word for fellow student. In german that's Kommilitone. It's a good word.
Lol but why would we use one word from one language when we can use two words from two different languages? /s
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Not a great lead itself, but a useful poke a hippy at a festival taught me when the opening conversation starts to fizzle out a bit: "what do you want to tell me? It can be anything at all, take a moment to think about it." Then sit with the silence a bit (don't stare at them, let them think).
Some people will tell you some wild shit and/or open up like crazy if given this invitation. The person who used it on me got my whole life story, shit I was trying to work through by (in part) being there in the first place, etc. The last person who I did this with told me some defining moments in the development of their politics and worldview.
Create comfort, give an open invitation and a little space, and you'd be surprised how quickly you might move from small talk to more substantial stuff. Recommend everyone try it once just to see what the outcome is, so far it's been pretty neat.
You might like the "If you could invent anything in the world, what would it be?"
I used to sketch out ppls' answers and give them the drawing to remind them they're creative even if they never considered themselves in that light before. Bc every single person I ask can come up with at least one thing, from jeans with a star patch on the back pocket to a tiny home village arrayed a certain way.
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Yes, this is indeed what it sounds like. But when I wrote it out like that, I couldn't help but imagine seal noises.
Damned seal pirates. Scourge of the seas!
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The semester is starting back up and i'm terrible at speaking words.
This doesn't have to be aimed at college students, just conversation starters anywhere would be very much appreciated.
You hear about Pluto? That’s messed up!
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I absolutely love this. Also, what's a poke-a-hippy?
A hippie that uses autocorrect.
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I absolutely love this. Also, what's a poke-a-hippy?
wrote last edited by [email protected]Well I mean, obviously they are hippies you can capture and collect. Sometimes people try to get them to battle, but 99% of them don't like/aren't particularly good at fighting, so they are mostly pets.
Lol, j/k. By poke I meant a conversational poke/prod technique, by hippy I meant...well, a hippy that shared the tip.
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The semester is starting back up and i'm terrible at speaking words.
This doesn't have to be aimed at college students, just conversation starters anywhere would be very much appreciated.
A university-specific one: look up what the agenda of your student leadership is currently debating, then say “hey I heard the student body president is trying to [thing]” and go from there. You might accidentally learn about yourself along the way.
