The great millennial garbage gyre
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I'm always surprised to hear people unimpressed with others on dating apps. A couple of my friends have shared their "feeds" and I was struck by how many good-looking people are out there. But they would swipe away from just the smallest turn-offs becoming deal breakers. Like if I saw these people in real life, I would think of them as average looking at worst, many being remarkably attractive. This is in the 20s to mid 30s range like the tweet. I definitely understand deciding you're incompatible based on politics or religion or culture but most of the time it would be for minor quirks. It felt like they were spoiled for choice in my eyes.
But then again, they're in serious long term relationships with conventionally attractive and supportive partners now so maybe being picky pays off. At the time, their reluctance to settle was a very frustrating experience for them.
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A confounding issue is the apps themselves have gotten worse over time. Like, old okcupid you could search. You could type in like "final fantasy" or "the Mets" and find people who liked those things enough to put them on their profile.
Now you're limited to whatever the app decides to give you. Well, the app doesn't want you to leave so that incentive doesn't line up.
Fetlife is like that too. “Find people with the same interests as you!”… select an interest: 120K people! Okay, let me filter by location? No. Filter by age? No. Filter by sex? Guess what, also No. So instead you have to hand scroll through all the entries. I don’t want to spend a lot of time connecting with someone with a common interest if they’re on the other side of the world.
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Welp seeing as how garbage dating apps are due to being optimized to keep you using them instead of actually finding a longterm partner, and all being owned by about 2 or 3 different holding companies...
Might as well shoot my shot here:
36 m, opinionated autist seeking female autist within ... i dunno, +/- 5 my age.
(trans fem ok, ambi gender ok, just please don't be a fully advanced, PHD level bedroom = pigsty goblin)
For more details, see my comment history.
Brave that you’re using your Lemmy profile for your dating profile and that you’re willing to tie those comments to who who actually are in the real world.
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This reminds me of the conversation I had with my co workers the other day. They basically warned don't do to your 10th/15th year class reunion, especially if you're in a relationship. All the girls who were used to constantly being in demand suddenly... aren't. And they're HORNY. And not in a very good way. In a very sad/depressing way.
Hey, can I come to your reunion?
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This reminds me of the conversation I had with my co workers the other day. They basically warned don't do to your 10th/15th year class reunion, especially if you're in a relationship. All the girls who were used to constantly being in demand suddenly... aren't. And they're HORNY. And not in a very good way. In a very sad/depressing way.
Are you’re kidding, that’s the best time to go. Make them regret their choices, both then and now.
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Hey, can I come to your reunion?
Asking for a friend
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I don't think 29 year olds are millennial, are they? Or is this an older meme?
Fully dependa on whether they remember 9/11.
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I have zero sympathy for cis straight people who think they have limited dating options.
Monogamist*
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Brave that you’re using your Lemmy profile for your dating profile and that you’re willing to tie those comments to who who actually are in the real world.
Right? I'm using my real name for my BlueSky account and I end up having to delete almost every comment I make for the same reason. It's a little paralyzing to have yourself on display like that.
It's strange to admit that now, because I went to college in 2004 when Facebook was just getting big and literally everyone was on it. I miss those days. It's hard to believe now with what an absolute shit show it has become, but early Facebook was wonderful. It genuinely made it easier to have a social life.
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This post did not contain any content.wrote last edited by [email protected]
im curious now. what does it look like? what are the typical options?
it cant be as bad as a 29 year old dude on tinder, no way.
i do agree that they are intent on making that shitty app ever shittier yeah.
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Brave that you’re using your Lemmy profile for your dating profile and that you’re willing to tie those comments to who who actually are in the real world.
wrote last edited by [email protected]If you can figure out who I am based on my Lemmy profile, I'll be extremely impressed.
Yep, even giving out as much personal info as I have in my comment history.
I do not exist on any other social media sites.
Pretty sure I've never uploaded an image to lemmy that has any useful exif data, just download and repost memes.
I would also be impressed if even a mod or admin could geolocate me based on IP to an accuracy of better than a 100 mile radius.
Were I to theoretically find someone who wanted to move beyond messaging on lemmy... we'd be moving to signal.
Not saying its impossible, just saying I'd be impressed.
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If you can figure out who I am based on my Lemmy profile, I'll be extremely impressed.
Yep, even giving out as much personal info as I have in my comment history.
I do not exist on any other social media sites.
Pretty sure I've never uploaded an image to lemmy that has any useful exif data, just download and repost memes.
I would also be impressed if even a mod or admin could geolocate me based on IP to an accuracy of better than a 100 mile radius.
Were I to theoretically find someone who wanted to move beyond messaging on lemmy... we'd be moving to signal.
Not saying its impossible, just saying I'd be impressed.
Okay MacGoober, my point was if you ever did meet anyone as a result of your post here, you’d be tying your profile to who you are IRL.
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I’ve given up entirely on relationships at this point. Anyone who is willing to date a trans guy is “poly” and I am absolutely done with that shit.
Hookups suck but it’s a distraction from how shit the world is.
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The latter, but I think the implication is that that is more the case with eligible men than eligible women, i.e. the young person in the meme better find a partner before they get to the older person's age.
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I'm always surprised to hear people unimpressed with others on dating apps. A couple of my friends have shared their "feeds" and I was struck by how many good-looking people are out there. But they would swipe away from just the smallest turn-offs becoming deal breakers. Like if I saw these people in real life, I would think of them as average looking at worst, many being remarkably attractive. This is in the 20s to mid 30s range like the tweet. I definitely understand deciding you're incompatible based on politics or religion or culture but most of the time it would be for minor quirks. It felt like they were spoiled for choice in my eyes.
But then again, they're in serious long term relationships with conventionally attractive and supportive partners now so maybe being picky pays off. At the time, their reluctance to settle was a very frustrating experience for them.
Apps will selectively group more attractive people together to increase the like/dislike ratio. So YMMV depending on whether you're currently in the attractive group or not.
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Okay MacGoober, my point was if you ever did meet anyone as a result of your post here, you’d be tying your profile to who you are IRL.
wrote last edited by [email protected]Only if the person I met decided to basically dox me.
But hey, that's how trust works in a relationship, eh?
Gotta take that chance.
... I guess this all serves as a neat little illustration of how much I value privacy, haha.
I'd very much prefer someone similar, who isn't attention/validation seeking on social media all the time, isn't an 'influencer'... isn't really any kind of a public figure.
I've had too much drama in my life already thus far, and would ideally like someone who is also rather private and discreet.
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I’ve given up entirely on relationships at this point. Anyone who is willing to date a trans guy is “poly” and I am absolutely done with that shit.
Hookups suck but it’s a distraction from how shit the world is.
We need to normalize blaming monogamy for shitty monogamists the way people blame non-monogamy for shitty non-monogamists.
Non-monogamy is the logical extension of unlearning person-ownership, which is objectively good.
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We need to normalize blaming monogamy for shitty monogamists the way people blame non-monogamy for shitty non-monogamists.
Non-monogamy is the logical extension of unlearning person-ownership, which is objectively good.
Did I shit on poly people at all, or did I express a preference? I don’t want a poly relationship, I want a monogamous relationship, which I think I’m reasonable to want.
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im curious now. what does it look like? what are the typical options?
it cant be as bad as a 29 year old dude on tinder, no way.
i do agree that they are intent on making that shitty app ever shittier yeah.
A lot of women use the phrase “all the good ones are taken” but the reverse can also be true as well. Where all the good women are also taken. So most dating apps are full of the people who can’t keep a relationship, cheat, aren’t investing into something, or are the “leftovers.” I have a ton of female friend and what I saw on the dating apps when we were 25 was horrendous. As you get into your late 20s and early 30s you start seeing a lot of divorcees and single parents who then don’t have time and therefore don’t invest. Or do “invest” but now aren’t worth it because their kids should be more important.
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This reminds me of the conversation I had with my co workers the other day. They basically warned don't do to your 10th/15th year class reunion, especially if you're in a relationship. All the girls who were used to constantly being in demand suddenly... aren't. And they're HORNY. And not in a very good way. In a very sad/depressing way.
wrote last edited by [email protected]I don’t really see the point in them anyway, why would I care about a dick measuring contest between people I no longer know
