Once I said to my therapist "I'm sure you hear this kind of thing all the time", and she said "No, this is like top 5".
-
This is an edit and not a footnote. Therefore the * comes before the word and not after.
What a funny!
It is a emulation (see the "sudo science*" guy) -
No, you didn't. "No" meant, "no, your presumptive train of thought was incorrect." The rest of the text should've clued you in as to what was meant so long as you properly exclude what was assumed before the "no".
If this is still difficult for you, there are many resources out there to improve reading comprehension.
'I'm sure you hear this kind of thing all the time" ... "NO, ..."
...like learning english
-
Can't leave is hanging we need to hear it too!
Ha ha me too
-
Unfortunately, the ethical implications of this would be troubling. Refunds would have the effect of reinforcing whatever the patient did that session. If doing or making up wild stuff is what gets you a free session, some people are going to realize that. If other patients catch wind of one person getting a refund, they may end up doing and saying wilder things, too. Patients' best interests would take a backseat to the entertainment of the therapist, and that's pretty messed up if you think about it.
Yeah, ethical therapy person gotta ruin the fun. Sorry guys. But there is potential in a refund model. It could go far if it's used to reward positive things, like putting the most effort into working out an issue, or making the most personal growth over a period of time.
Rewarding people with the most positive behavior might still backfire, as the point of therapy (at least for me) was to stop comparing myself to others all the time. Even a small improvement for someone should be applauded, especially if you're already struggling with the small things.
-
Can't leave is hanging we need to hear it too!
I do believe I was discussing how my extremely well off FIL loaned my BIL money to go back to school, when he had never given him a dime for anything education or otherwise ever in his life, simply so he didn't have to take on student loans a second time, and when he was not yet employed a month after finishing school took him to court to get all of the money back. Um, this is your kid, you are worth millions easy, you didn't do shit for him, and it was like 3-4K which is a drop in the bucket for you, which you really should have just given him, and if you were going to be like this in the end you should have just been up front and said no so he didn't have to go through this. I think I also discussed how he promised to pay for dinner the night after my wedding when my parents had stumped up for my wedding dinner (we got married in NYC), and then when the check came started adding up what everyone owed. Again, if you didn't want to, don't, but don't fucking leave everyone dangling, we didn't ask you to. I don't think I've ever seen my ex so upset, not because we had to pay, but because he did that.
There are other things too, like his mother's habit of weaponized eccentricity where she would give you literal garbage for Christmas presenta because she liked to pretend she was very poor even though she has more money than any of her kids, but she liked to see your face drop when you opened the gift which was trash to anyone else, and just a whole whack of other things. Narcissists are wild.
-
I arrive with two steam decks
Co-op Stardew Valley with the therapist for an hour a week
-
sudo scienceApt-get install brain
-
some of me
I’m sorry for your loss
-
Unfortunately, the ethical implications of this would be troubling. Refunds would have the effect of reinforcing whatever the patient did that session. If doing or making up wild stuff is what gets you a free session, some people are going to realize that. If other patients catch wind of one person getting a refund, they may end up doing and saying wilder things, too. Patients' best interests would take a backseat to the entertainment of the therapist, and that's pretty messed up if you think about it.
Yeah, ethical therapy person gotta ruin the fun. Sorry guys. But there is potential in a refund model. It could go far if it's used to reward positive things, like putting the most effort into working out an issue, or making the most personal growth over a period of time.
Either would encourage lying. Therapy cannot happen if the client is not completely honest.
Besides that, it ignores how therapists get paid. Imagine if your boss just decided to refund a few hours of your time each week. Just take it right out of your paycheck, and hand it back. It's fucked.
-
Some of those crystal doms are real good, hot wax, rope, the whole bit. All my mommy issues were resolved in 6 sessions
What even are crystal dommes? Like leather dommes, but kitted out for an 80s party at the disco?
-
Unfortunately, the ethical implications of this would be troubling. Refunds would have the effect of reinforcing whatever the patient did that session. If doing or making up wild stuff is what gets you a free session, some people are going to realize that. If other patients catch wind of one person getting a refund, they may end up doing and saying wilder things, too. Patients' best interests would take a backseat to the entertainment of the therapist, and that's pretty messed up if you think about it.
Yeah, ethical therapy person gotta ruin the fun. Sorry guys. But there is potential in a refund model. It could go far if it's used to reward positive things, like putting the most effort into working out an issue, or making the most personal growth over a period of time.
I actually did have a therapist offer to refund me once. I found her incredibly rude and she said things to me I found that were like negging and patronizing almost? I came away from each session feeling like she didn't like me at all, and that we hadn't done anything at all, like I was speaking into a void to someone who offered me exactly one piece of advice the whole time. I drove myself crazy trying to figure out if I just wasn't getting something or was I just the asshole or what, and in the final session when I finally burst into tears because I felt so belittled and like she disliked me, I told her I could not continue with her because of this, that she had said almost NOTHING to me save for one sentence that I considered anything like therapy, and that I could not continue throwing a lot of money at this when I felt completely unsupported and unsafe, and I left. (Whether I was wrong or not we weren't getting anywhere or jiving so there was no point). She left me a very patronizing voice mail where she snarkily apologized and offered to refund or refer me elsewhere. I did not return her call. Maybe it was a me problem, to this day I don't know, but I had two therapists after that (one retired) and we got along just fine and made plenty of progress. I really don't know. I am not going to not pay someone for their work regardless of what I think of the job they did as that's not ethical, but that was several hundred dollars wasted.
I did have the faintest sense that the senior therapist in that practice didn't think a lot of her either, as she walked into one of my sessions as we just had sat down to begin and said kind of coldly "May I talk to you?" to my therapist and they took off and talked for a bit, and she didn't seem awfully happy when she returned (and she deducted that time from my session which amazed me). She isn't there anymore according to their website. I really don't know. I still feel awful when I think of her.
-
When I used to smoke, I started bumping into this therapist in D.C. outside my building on a busy street downtown. She had actively tried to get on some Bachelor-esque reality show (it may have actually been The Bachelor). Eventually, she told me about the time she pissed in a boss's coffee mug. Or my favorite: the time she did blood magic to prevent rain from ruining her and her friends' beach weekend. She eventually said she needed to stop meeting me for smoke breaks, because she was dating someone, and if we kept it up, "she would take what she wanted." Therapists, man. Definitely very stable.
Holy shit!
My therapist is a nice young mom, and I coincidentally know her dad a little bit and they're nice people as far as I have seen. Maybe she has a closet full of medieval torture devices for all I know though.
-
I actually did have a therapist offer to refund me once. I found her incredibly rude and she said things to me I found that were like negging and patronizing almost? I came away from each session feeling like she didn't like me at all, and that we hadn't done anything at all, like I was speaking into a void to someone who offered me exactly one piece of advice the whole time. I drove myself crazy trying to figure out if I just wasn't getting something or was I just the asshole or what, and in the final session when I finally burst into tears because I felt so belittled and like she disliked me, I told her I could not continue with her because of this, that she had said almost NOTHING to me save for one sentence that I considered anything like therapy, and that I could not continue throwing a lot of money at this when I felt completely unsupported and unsafe, and I left. (Whether I was wrong or not we weren't getting anywhere or jiving so there was no point). She left me a very patronizing voice mail where she snarkily apologized and offered to refund or refer me elsewhere. I did not return her call. Maybe it was a me problem, to this day I don't know, but I had two therapists after that (one retired) and we got along just fine and made plenty of progress. I really don't know. I am not going to not pay someone for their work regardless of what I think of the job they did as that's not ethical, but that was several hundred dollars wasted.
I did have the faintest sense that the senior therapist in that practice didn't think a lot of her either, as she walked into one of my sessions as we just had sat down to begin and said kind of coldly "May I talk to you?" to my therapist and they took off and talked for a bit, and she didn't seem awfully happy when she returned (and she deducted that time from my session which amazed me). She isn't there anymore according to their website. I really don't know. I still feel awful when I think of her.
I'm sorry you had that experience, but glad that you continued trying and had better ones. There are definitely bad therapists, and more often it's just a bad fit. The same way you're not going to be friends with everyone, not every therapist can really work for you. It can take a few tries to find one that really clicks. I've met too many people who just gave up after one try, some after literally one session. Most were not anywhere near as bad as your experience. So give yourself a lot of credit that you kept trying even after that!
I wrote this out partially for anyone else who may be earlier in their mental health journey. If it's not a good fit after a few sessions, you can ask for a referral or just stop and find someone else. A professional will not take offense. It's pretty normal and an expected part of their job.
-
I actually did have a therapist offer to refund me once. I found her incredibly rude and she said things to me I found that were like negging and patronizing almost? I came away from each session feeling like she didn't like me at all, and that we hadn't done anything at all, like I was speaking into a void to someone who offered me exactly one piece of advice the whole time. I drove myself crazy trying to figure out if I just wasn't getting something or was I just the asshole or what, and in the final session when I finally burst into tears because I felt so belittled and like she disliked me, I told her I could not continue with her because of this, that she had said almost NOTHING to me save for one sentence that I considered anything like therapy, and that I could not continue throwing a lot of money at this when I felt completely unsupported and unsafe, and I left. (Whether I was wrong or not we weren't getting anywhere or jiving so there was no point). She left me a very patronizing voice mail where she snarkily apologized and offered to refund or refer me elsewhere. I did not return her call. Maybe it was a me problem, to this day I don't know, but I had two therapists after that (one retired) and we got along just fine and made plenty of progress. I really don't know. I am not going to not pay someone for their work regardless of what I think of the job they did as that's not ethical, but that was several hundred dollars wasted.
I did have the faintest sense that the senior therapist in that practice didn't think a lot of her either, as she walked into one of my sessions as we just had sat down to begin and said kind of coldly "May I talk to you?" to my therapist and they took off and talked for a bit, and she didn't seem awfully happy when she returned (and she deducted that time from my session which amazed me). She isn't there anymore according to their website. I really don't know. I still feel awful when I think of her.
Just because people have a job, doesn’t mean they are good at that job.
For sure you need to have rapport with your therapist or it just isn’t gonna work. And sometimes people can just rub you the wrong way.
-
Rewarding people with the most positive behavior might still backfire, as the point of therapy (at least for me) was to stop comparing myself to others all the time. Even a small improvement for someone should be applauded, especially if you're already struggling with the small things.
That's a great point.
-
Are you still alive?
He's been dead 20 years come October.
-
When I used to smoke, I started bumping into this therapist in D.C. outside my building on a busy street downtown. She had actively tried to get on some Bachelor-esque reality show (it may have actually been The Bachelor). Eventually, she told me about the time she pissed in a boss's coffee mug. Or my favorite: the time she did blood magic to prevent rain from ruining her and her friends' beach weekend. She eventually said she needed to stop meeting me for smoke breaks, because she was dating someone, and if we kept it up, "she would take what she wanted." Therapists, man. Definitely very stable.
Anyone that has gone to college with a psych major know that they're not stable, that's why they're in the major. They're either psychopaths trying to learn how to be better psychopaths or have issues.
-
I do believe I was discussing how my extremely well off FIL loaned my BIL money to go back to school, when he had never given him a dime for anything education or otherwise ever in his life, simply so he didn't have to take on student loans a second time, and when he was not yet employed a month after finishing school took him to court to get all of the money back. Um, this is your kid, you are worth millions easy, you didn't do shit for him, and it was like 3-4K which is a drop in the bucket for you, which you really should have just given him, and if you were going to be like this in the end you should have just been up front and said no so he didn't have to go through this. I think I also discussed how he promised to pay for dinner the night after my wedding when my parents had stumped up for my wedding dinner (we got married in NYC), and then when the check came started adding up what everyone owed. Again, if you didn't want to, don't, but don't fucking leave everyone dangling, we didn't ask you to. I don't think I've ever seen my ex so upset, not because we had to pay, but because he did that.
There are other things too, like his mother's habit of weaponized eccentricity where she would give you literal garbage for Christmas presenta because she liked to pretend she was very poor even though she has more money than any of her kids, but she liked to see your face drop when you opened the gift which was trash to anyone else, and just a whole whack of other things. Narcissists are wild.
There are other things too, like his mother’s habit of weaponized eccentricity where she would give you literal garbage for Christmas presenta because she liked to pretend she was very poor even though she has more money than any of her kids, but she liked to see your face drop when you opened the gift which was trash to anyone else, and just a whole whack of other things. Narcissists are wild.
My significant other's parents gave me a used roll of duct tape one year. This actually makes so much fucking sense reading your comment.
-
Unfortunately, the ethical implications of this would be troubling. Refunds would have the effect of reinforcing whatever the patient did that session. If doing or making up wild stuff is what gets you a free session, some people are going to realize that. If other patients catch wind of one person getting a refund, they may end up doing and saying wilder things, too. Patients' best interests would take a backseat to the entertainment of the therapist, and that's pretty messed up if you think about it.
Yeah, ethical therapy person gotta ruin the fun. Sorry guys. But there is potential in a refund model. It could go far if it's used to reward positive things, like putting the most effort into working out an issue, or making the most personal growth over a period of time.
Not to mention the "most entertaining" part, like "your ex painted the DOG for revenge? Ahahah that's wild, this goes in the list"
-
I can't believe the scientific community of Lemmy is unfamiliar with the literature behind therapy.
wrote last edited by [email protected]literature is boring, hearing crazy stories is more interesting ^That's a joke please don't downvote me too much^
