The one change that worked: I set my phone to ‘do not disturb’ three years ago – and have never looked back
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I do this to my mom as a way to be very low-contact with her. It's a huge relief.
I used to love texting when it was only a handful of friends but these days I hate the pressure of it being ever-present in my pocket and the social expectation to answer in a relatively timely manner. (This has led me to being a horrible texter, sorry everyone.)
I miss the old days of AOL instant messenger. Your online status did all the heavy lifting to communicate when you had some free time and felt like chatting.
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Smart man.
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iOS also has a nice feature where if you get called by the same number twice in a short period of time it will let the second call through.
The pessimist in me knows it’s just a matter of time until robo callers figure that one out and start double calling, but it is nice peace of mind for now.
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I have been using scheduled do not disturb for over a decade, it makes SUCH a difference. I always have it on 10 PM - 7 AM, and I have started enabling it for an hour if work picks up or if I’m at the gym so I can focus.
My work phone is on DND more than not, I’m available 7:30 AM - 5 PM on weekdays and it is in DND otherwise, super nice.
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Am I the only one that just ignores calls and texts that I don't want to respond to immediately or ever? I never have my ring volume up and I've muted almost all of my group chats, so only individual messages get through. My Pixel also does call screening which blocks a lot of trash from getting to me, and I keep space in my VM for when I have important calls get through that I either can't or don't want to answer.
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Call 911 ffs, I can't do anything.
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Thanks for sharing, it really did feel like a sketch out of the movie.
I guess I would also focus on the dog and the niece when they are more approachable and not as combative and so many people in your family are changing quite profoundly
I hope you have a lovely day without phone calls!
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I changed mine to all calls after a friend called 2am from a cell and I didn't get it. Still only certain texts though
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You have a GOOGLE phone?!?! Does it notify ICE when you’re near an immigrant? JK
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I can't emphasize how important it is for you to control your phone, especially notifications. Every notification is literally a mind hijacking attempt. Regardless of the type of notification, it's something that disrupts our thinking and our flow.
Some of them are necessary—but most aren't.
All the native apps will of course try to get as much permission from you as possible, including notifications. Don't allow this permission freely.
Get really strict about which apps need to send you notifications, and when. Take it from a dude who used to give free reign to all apps for notifications.
Once I started thinking in a more digitally minimalistic way, it made a huge difference. Running GrapheneOS actually helped with this a lot. But you don't need GOS to do this and feel the difference.
I got some notifications turned on, but most of em are silent. So they still get delivered, but they're not time-sensitive. They'll be there when I check my phone next. I don't need em interrupting whatever I was doing or thinking.
TL;DR: Be strict about which notifications you allow, and when. It'll do wonders for your thinking, productivity, and mental health.
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This should be the default on new phones. I enabled it the first time I got a call at 3AM from one of my clients. Many people just have no respect.
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Google hardware is actually solid. Just don't run Google software.
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Your online status did all the heavy lifting to communicate when you had some free time and felt like chatting.
A lot of modern messengers implement a similar feature but I disable them or manually set it to "away" perpetually. Using DND makes much more sense. I just tell people they can message me literally any time they want but I will not see or respond to them until later.
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Very different these days. The beauty of the status bubbles and messengers of past is that you would catch each other when you both had time and desire to chat and then you'd have a back and forth conversation until one of you disengaged. You also almost never have people sending offline messages. It was more akin to an in-person interaction where you're either visibly there and someone can approach and talk to you in real time or you aren't.
Texting is generally of a blend between real-time messenging (but you can't tell if they're available) and short form email where everyone interacts differently and has their own ideas about "proper" etiquette. It's probably somewhat cultural but in my experience, people just use messaging apps in the exact same way as they would text, so status bubbles don't mean much.
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I’m probably a nightmare to get hold of at a moment’s notice – and should never, ever be someone’s In Case of Emergency, much to my partner’s chagrin.
Any phone will allow you to still receive notifications for a select contacts or numbers that call repeatedly with DND on so that's something she's chosen which I would be offended by if I was her partner, especially considering they have two young children.
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Most allow you to also nominate VIP contacts that always get through, he should dump her
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A lot of them already do call twice in a row, thanks apple.
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I love scheduled and automation based DND, except that about twice per year, SOMETHING SOMEWHERE updates and causes my alarm to be silenced by DND, despite having my clock app exempted from every possible silencing mechanism I can find.
For the life of me, I can't understand why that would ever be a useful behavior, let along default one.
Lucky for me, I have a pretty robust internal clock, but Holy Fuck is that annoying.
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Yes, me too. My phone is always silent and with Do Not Disturb on. Only few family contacts can get through, and only with a phone call.
I don't even know what's the sound of the notifications of my phone. It's blissful.
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Ignoring a text that "I can answer later" is actually what hits me with most cognitive charge :
My current balance is :
- To never give notification permission except when it is necessary for the core goal of the application.
- Automatically enable do not disturb from 11pm until alarm clock.
