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  3. What are some genuine good ways to stop yourself from crying?

What are some genuine good ways to stop yourself from crying?

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  • T [email protected]

    I need to tell someone off but I already know I'm going to be close to tears when I do. And I don't want her to see me crying.

    And please spare me any mention of how it is okay to cry. That's not why I'm here.

    M This user is from outside of this forum
    M This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote last edited by [email protected]
    #14

    Okay the first step in being able to get control and stop crying is to stop being embarrassed about crying. Because that added level of feeling makes the crying worse. So what if the power of your truth brings tears to your eyes? If they mock you it's because they're trying to distract from the fact they're in the wrong. Ignore and continue.

    What you don't want is to whine or sob. So forget your eyes, concentrate on your voice. Deliberately pitch it a little low, it prevents squeaking. And use enough volume to be heard but don't shout, you want to sound in control.

    The other thing you don't want to do is to snivel or have to deal with snot. So don't keep your eyes wide trying to keep the tears from dripping, because that will just send the water down those tubes into your nose, and you'll have a real mess plus you'll be hard to understand. Deliberately blink and let them fall, or better yet dab with a tissue that you remembered to bring! (You don't want to be like I once was, stuck with nothing absorbent in my purse but my toddler's spare pair of clean underpants!)

    All the while, concentrate on calmly stating the thing that's so important to say. Chin up, keep eye contact, don't let a few drops of water distract you. And you'll find it gets easier with practice, so practice. Practice logical sentences that make your points, and practice returning to your point despite distractions or arguments from them.

    If you wear makeup, try that out too, you don't want anything that runs!

    Being well prepared in case you do start to cry is the best way to minimize it, even if it doesn't 100% prevent it.

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    • T [email protected]

      I need to tell someone off but I already know I'm going to be close to tears when I do. And I don't want her to see me crying.

      And please spare me any mention of how it is okay to cry. That's not why I'm here.

      S This user is from outside of this forum
      S This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote last edited by [email protected]
      #15

      Write a letter? Or maybe, write out everything you want to say to the person, and practice it out loud a few times so it gets less upsetting.

      1 Reply Last reply
      2
      • T [email protected]

        I need to tell someone off but I already know I'm going to be close to tears when I do. And I don't want her to see me crying.

        And please spare me any mention of how it is okay to cry. That's not why I'm here.

        S This user is from outside of this forum
        S This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote last edited by
        #16

        Suck it up, buttercup.

        stamets@lemmy.worldS 1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • T [email protected]

          I need to tell someone off but I already know I'm going to be close to tears when I do. And I don't want her to see me crying.

          And please spare me any mention of how it is okay to cry. That's not why I'm here.

          L This user is from outside of this forum
          L This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote last edited by [email protected]
          #17

          Distance yourself emotionally but be firm in your conviction. By this I mean you need to take a clinical look at the situation as if it were happening to someone else, but keep your focus on what matters as if you were standing up for a friend.

          Also rehearse it until you don't feel anything saying it.

          Those would be my two strategies.

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          0
          • S [email protected]

            Suck it up, buttercup.

            stamets@lemmy.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
            stamets@lemmy.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote last edited by
            #18

            I just looked at your entire posting history, and dude, I think you need a hug.

            S 1 Reply Last reply
            2
            • T [email protected]

              I need to tell someone off but I already know I'm going to be close to tears when I do. And I don't want her to see me crying.

              And please spare me any mention of how it is okay to cry. That's not why I'm here.

              stamets@lemmy.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
              stamets@lemmy.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote last edited by
              #19

              Now the singular fucking clue. I have been crying non-stop for the past week and a half, two weeks.

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              0
              • stamets@lemmy.worldS [email protected]

                I just looked at your entire posting history, and dude, I think you need a hug.

                S This user is from outside of this forum
                S This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote last edited by
                #20

                Lol. Do you feel called out?

                stamets@lemmy.worldS 1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • S [email protected]

                  Lol. Do you feel called out?

                  stamets@lemmy.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
                  stamets@lemmy.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote last edited by
                  #21

                  Still need that hug, huh buddy?

                  S 1 Reply Last reply
                  1
                  • stamets@lemmy.worldS [email protected]

                    Still need that hug, huh buddy?

                    S This user is from outside of this forum
                    S This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote last edited by
                    #22

                    Sorry you feel called out. Attacking me is not the answer.

                    I'm going to block you now. Goodbye.

                    stamets@lemmy.worldS jerkface@lemmy.caJ 2 Replies Last reply
                    0
                    • S [email protected]

                      Sorry you feel called out. Attacking me is not the answer.

                      I'm going to block you now. Goodbye.

                      stamets@lemmy.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
                      stamets@lemmy.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote last edited by
                      #23

                      Come here big boy

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      1
                      • T [email protected]

                        I need to tell someone off but I already know I'm going to be close to tears when I do. And I don't want her to see me crying.

                        And please spare me any mention of how it is okay to cry. That's not why I'm here.

                        jerkface@lemmy.caJ This user is from outside of this forum
                        jerkface@lemmy.caJ This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote last edited by [email protected]
                        #24

                        Cry. I don't mean bawl. If you are composed, speaking and emoting normally, some tears on your face aren't so bad. It's genuine. And if you're not fighting it, you can have that composure. It's the fighting that causes the embarrassing failures of composure.

                        I know what you said, but you're not the only person here. People who are ashamed of crying deserve to have more than your stigmatizing position represented.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        1
                        • S [email protected]

                          Sorry you feel called out. Attacking me is not the answer.

                          I'm going to block you now. Goodbye.

                          jerkface@lemmy.caJ This user is from outside of this forum
                          jerkface@lemmy.caJ This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote last edited by [email protected]
                          #25

                          It's hilarious and tragic that you feel attacked. While projecting that on others ("Feel called out?"/"I feel attacked!")

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