Let delivery drivers keep their
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I understand heteronormative to be about social norms centered around heterosexuality, and how that is the dominant cultural factor.
With that understanding, viewing things through a heteronormative lens is to exclude or diminish the views of non-heterosexual folks.
Then "heteronormative bullshit" is comparable to "heterosexual bullshit".
I might've missed some nuance - this is not my forte. However my naive understanding is that saying this was commentary on "cultural norms" is similar to saying to civil war was about "states rights". States rights to do what? (Slavery) Cultural norms centered around what? (Heterosexuality)
I definitely agree with you re: comment being confusing - it seems to largely be a complaint about folks being vanilla and not knowing the nuances of vocabulary describing relationships, which affects folks regardless of sexual orientation.
wrote on last edited by [email protected]Hmm, as someone relatively deep into lgbtq issues (though particularly trans issues), I'd say the term itself is perhaps a bit misleading. The way I understand it and see it used is that it's about heterosexuality and also gender norms within that traditional heterosexual relationship (so some people think that even in a homosexual relationship there's always "a man" (dominant) and "a woman" (submissive)).
In that sense (to directly relate to the post) a dominant woman in a relationship with a submissive man would actually go against heteronormativity a bit.
On second thought I guess I can see the relation though, in the sense that the traditional "man is dominant in a hetero relationship" combined with the fact that by default most men probably mostly top could make someone see "topping is considered dominant" as reinforcing those traditional relationship norms. Still feels very overreactive by the original commenter but eh.
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Give her a strap on and it's fine
wrote on last edited by [email protected]So your stance actually is that a woman in a dominatrix suit is always propogating heteronormativity... unless she's wearing a strapon... while could be construed as being used for penetrating either a man or a woman or anyone else.
So in your mind, BDSM is heteronormative unless it explicity is made clear that it is not.
That would mean that in your mind, pegging is not heteronormative, even if it is going on between a heterosexual couple.... even though a man being pegged very, very much goes against the general social view of how sex between a man and a woman works or should work.
... You have a very different understanding of what heteromormativity is and means than I do.
EDIT:
Like, I get the idea that pegging is not heteronormative... but you also seem to think that BDSM... is heteronormative, unless its made very explicitly clear that it is even farther outside the 'normal' realm, with specificity.
BDSM, to the point of owning a dominatrix suit, is absolutely not the standard norm.
It thus is not heteronormative.
We're at about 1 in 5 adults in the US that have tried BDSM once in their lifetimes. It is becoming more popular, but 1 in 5 is still not 'the norm', that'd be at least half.
I can't actually find stats on... how regularly people engage in BDSM as a recurring part of their sex lives, vs people who have just experimented with it... but it is definitionally less than 1 out of 5, likely considerably less.
But then you've also got all the stats on how people who do engage in BDSM are actually much more likely than the general population to actually identify as LGBTQ+ or engage in non-hetero sex... so yeah, thats just another way that BDSM in general just is not heteronormative.
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Completely agree, the mystery makes me rank them higher than knowing
Think that's the joke.
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It's heteronormative if you equate topping with being dominant.
Dancing is typically heteronormative because there's a standard (that's enforced for competitive dancing) that the man leads and the woman follows. And you can absolutely follow this as a same sex couple by assigning femme and butch roles and having the femme follow and the butch lead. But you can also switch it up, even while dancing.
When someone talks about heteronorms it's not about straight people. Of course toxic masculinity and ditto femininity is sad but the goal is not to reproduce that for queers, not too change what the straights are up to.
wrote on last edited by [email protected]It's not heteronormative oh person with a hammer. You simply lack perspective, as yours seems entirely based on sex and literally none from kink.
Doming and Topping are two different things in the kink world, and imply similar yet drastically different things and are very deliminaited in play.
And even to the comic, it's BDSM/kink coded more than anything.
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Beer in the US is too cold. That is the crime here.
The colder it is the less you can taste it.
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What does top mean?
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What does top mean?
As little more than just the tip
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As little more than just the tip
More than a tap
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What does top mean?
To dominate sexually.
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Excellent answer.
I'd argue that the outfit in the meme is generally considered a Dom outfit which is what triggers the start of this thread.
Although inaccurate it makes the point for the joke. A TOP image would be much more vulgar and hard to find a clean image for.
Exactly.
You can get away with a ... relatively low nudity depiction of a person in a bondage suit.
This also just generally conveys 'sexually curious / active.'
Whereas an actual, more literal depiction of topping someone would essentially by definition be so explicit as to be so blunt that ... it isn't as humorous, because your brain doesn't have to do any work to 'get' the joke.
Not to mention it would probably be censored, and thus far less people would see it.
I dunno, maybe someone can, or has come up with a ... 'help me step-bro, I'm stuck in the washing machine!' ... type of image.
Maybe a cowboy or cowgirl riding a bucking horse ... would be sufficiently understandable visual metaphor?
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Aren’t they already being topped by their employers?
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I hate this heteronormative bullshit that topping is the same as domming
Synonyms are so hetero
lol wtf
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Synonyms are so hetero
lol wtf
Topping is the act of being the one penetrating their partner, dominating is taking control. They aren't necessarily the same thing
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So your stance actually is that a woman in a dominatrix suit is always propogating heteronormativity... unless she's wearing a strapon... while could be construed as being used for penetrating either a man or a woman or anyone else.
So in your mind, BDSM is heteronormative unless it explicity is made clear that it is not.
That would mean that in your mind, pegging is not heteronormative, even if it is going on between a heterosexual couple.... even though a man being pegged very, very much goes against the general social view of how sex between a man and a woman works or should work.
... You have a very different understanding of what heteromormativity is and means than I do.
EDIT:
Like, I get the idea that pegging is not heteronormative... but you also seem to think that BDSM... is heteronormative, unless its made very explicitly clear that it is even farther outside the 'normal' realm, with specificity.
BDSM, to the point of owning a dominatrix suit, is absolutely not the standard norm.
It thus is not heteronormative.
We're at about 1 in 5 adults in the US that have tried BDSM once in their lifetimes. It is becoming more popular, but 1 in 5 is still not 'the norm', that'd be at least half.
I can't actually find stats on... how regularly people engage in BDSM as a recurring part of their sex lives, vs people who have just experimented with it... but it is definitionally less than 1 out of 5, likely considerably less.
But then you've also got all the stats on how people who do engage in BDSM are actually much more likely than the general population to actually identify as LGBTQ+ or engage in non-hetero sex... so yeah, thats just another way that BDSM in general just is not heteronormative.
I think the heteronormativity comes from the idea that men are always the ones both doing the penetrating and taking charge in the bedroom lol
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What does top mean?
wrote on last edited by [email protected]On top during gay sex
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Beer in the US is too cold. That is the crime here.
Saskatchewan drinks Guinness cold
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Hmm, as someone relatively deep into lgbtq issues (though particularly trans issues), I'd say the term itself is perhaps a bit misleading. The way I understand it and see it used is that it's about heterosexuality and also gender norms within that traditional heterosexual relationship (so some people think that even in a homosexual relationship there's always "a man" (dominant) and "a woman" (submissive)).
In that sense (to directly relate to the post) a dominant woman in a relationship with a submissive man would actually go against heteronormativity a bit.
On second thought I guess I can see the relation though, in the sense that the traditional "man is dominant in a hetero relationship" combined with the fact that by default most men probably mostly top could make someone see "topping is considered dominant" as reinforcing those traditional relationship norms. Still feels very overreactive by the original commenter but eh.
Your second thought was my first thought tbh
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Aren’t they already being topped by their employers?
Only when delivering subs
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Only when delivering subs
Lemmy won't let me reply to your DM. It says you don't exist. Which is kinda funny, since your name is Owl and Lemmy is being like "Who?"
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Lemmy won't let me reply to your DM. It says you don't exist. Which is kinda funny, since your name is Owl and Lemmy is being like "Who?"
Lemmy is mocking me
