When you work for a company owned by a A..hole
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Were there multiple catapults, as well?
Nope, just one catapult firing sex workers into a hotel room and one of the calculations was off and she went splat.
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Take long enough and you can just shit on the boss's desk, slap down the paper, and ask for a "thank you" for bringing back some lunch.
For good measure, you should skip breakfast and make sure you have a big lunch.
No reason to give your boss any of your breakfast tho. That's on your time.
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When I worked for a major database company they made me take annual training to explain that I wasn’t allowed to buy sex workers for potential clients.
My handbook at work specifically bans buying illicit drugs for customers with the company card.
It doesn't say anything about buying it with my card and getting reimbursed though...
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usually, you're supposed to turn down the gift, this is just wrong
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lol
Usually these things will just say you can't accept such items because it could be considered a bribe or at the very least unprofessional. And here we have an asshole straight up saying "give your bribes to me!"
I'm just thinking of all the times customers offered me food and drink while servicing them as an internet service installer. You gonna take all my Dr. Pepper and tacos, too, boss? How 'bout I leave 'em in a pile on your desk after I'm done?
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"Oh, thanks! What I'd like is some extremely hot sauce in a bottle labelled 'ketchup'".
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Take long enough and you can just shit on the boss's desk, slap down the paper, and ask for a "thank you" for bringing back some lunch.
Take a picture of the shit and add it to the expense report. Make sure you notate that you did not keep the gift and instead rescinded ownership to your boss.
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When I'd get stuff, I'd always offer it to the employees first. My employees used to encourage vendors to show up to get free stuff. I'd let them get whatever they could. One employee got free night vision goggles.
Yeah, I’m a manager and I fully encourage my staff to take tips and gifts even though it’s against company policy. If a client offers a tip, I normally respond with something like “I don’t take tips, but if you and the part-timer want to to walk around the corner where there’s no security cameras, I’ll stay right here so I don’t see any money change hands.”
The part-timers need the money more than I do anyways. $50 won’t make a huge difference to me, but could be the determining factor in whether or not the part-timer has enough gas money to get to class next week. Plus they’re the actual boots on the ground making sure the day-to-day runs smoothly. I’m just doing paperwork and hanging out in case any big issues pop up.
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usually, you're supposed to turn down the gift, this is just wrong
I've heard stories of clients giving gifts getting pissed when the wrong person claims them, so it's risky for not just legal reasons
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Nope, just one catapult firing sex workers into a hotel room and one of the calculations was off and she went splat.
Oh, so only one sex worker was involved in the catapult incident. The rest were no incident.
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This is probably one of the few places my job doesn't do it horribly.
Any gifts that aren't perishable get saved up and then before Christmas we do a grab bag type thing where we all take a number and pick a "present" from the swag we've been sent.
The only way they do it "wrong" is that the perishables (usually cookies) always go to the office and we never get them on the factory floor! I want cookies DAMNIT!! Lol
My office is bad about the cookie thing too. My office is split across two different buildings.
I have worked here for several years, and we only found out a month ago that the main building has free bagels in the break room every Monday morning. The main building never bothered to tell us, because it’s donated from the local bagel shop as a “there until they’re all gone” situation. And the office drones in the main building didn’t want to share, so they just never told any of us in the secondary building.
We only found out because the bagel shop wanted to do an event in our secondary building. The main building was extremely pushy about us making sure it went well, and offered a bunch of free shit too. We finally chatted to the bagel shop owner about how odd it was that the main building was so invested. She casually dropped the “oh that’s probably just because of all the free bagels we send y’all every week haha” type of comment.
Did some digging, and sure enough the owner sends like a hundred bagels over to the main building every Monday morning. She always assumed that they were sharing, because it’s way too many bagels for just the primary building… But it turns out the employees over there were just hungry hippo’ing the break room table and taking like six bagels home every week.
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Take a picture of the shit and add it to the expense report. Make sure you notate that you did not keep the gift and instead rescinded ownership to your boss.
Take a picture? How are they going to smell or taste it? Either shit at work and don't flush or shit on the floor at work if you want to flush.
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Isn't that a bribe?
bribes are for preferential treatment.
gifts are given to people who help you out and appreciate your efforts.
all this does is tells employees that customer satisfaction isn't a concern and they only have to make sure the customers are satisfied enough to not complain with zero effort to reward employees that go above and beyond the role.
if you work in a place like this, wake up. you're a cog in an orphan grinding machine.
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I would simply refuse all gifts rather than give them to the owner.
Better to just accept the gifts for yourself and let them fire you. I imagine a juicy wrongful termination suit would be appropriate.
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When I worked for a major database company they made me take annual training to explain that I wasn’t allowed to buy sex workers for potential clients.
...it feels like they told you whixh sex workers not to hire.
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Once a user came into our office on the verge of tears. Her notebook wouldn't boot and she thought that meant her thesis was lost.
Didn't make a backup either.
But luckily it was the mainboard that quit and not the SSD. So we were able to decrypt it and get her up and running again. After we told her to make a backup next time, she was so happy that she wanted to give us money. We refused.
Come next day, she stormed in, without saying a word. Just threw a pile of candy and a handful of soft drinks on our table and ran off before we could do anything about it.
Fuck you, boss. That's our candy now.
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When I worked for a major database company they made me take annual training to explain that I wasn’t allowed to buy sex workers for potential clients.
"buy"
So renting is not an issue! Or as a Service....
So many options left. Next time I talk to big red I'll ask the rep about his interpretation of this training.
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Yeah, that company has red flags.
Red flag number 1: the contents of the note
Red flag number 2: using duct tape to attach the note to the wall. Hints at a huge managerial Skill Issue.
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Some companies would tell you not to take gifts in case they look like bribes
In some type of job it is even illegal
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Food? So if a client takes me for a meal I have to make sure to vomit it onto my boss' desk when I get back to the office?
