What is the best, and conversely, the worst wedding you've ever been to, and why?
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Lol. Typical. Leaving out the next verse conveniently.
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,
Basically demanding that Husbands show the same love to wives as Christ did for the Church... Y'know, the Guy who said "I came not be served but to serve", washed His disciples, ended up being crucified.... But demanding a man love his wife that much may make him uneasy, and that's not good for us men, is it? /s
I saw a sermon a while ago, and the pastor said that taking a bullet is easier than the day-to-day "dying" to yourself that you'll have to do for your wife. Such as sacrificing things that you enjoy doing for her sake. But people don't seem to understand that dynamic.
I don't like religions in general and a lot of the reason is the shitty way (some) adherents feel they can treat women and other minorities and it's just a-okay dandy because their magic li'l book told them it's okay. I went to that wedding I mentioned when I was just a pre teen and it really sorta cemented the fact that there's so much bullshit going on with that and just....no one deserves to deal with that. Just love each other and be happy y'all, it doesn't seem so complicated to me.
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I don't like religions in general and a lot of the reason is the shitty way (some) adherents feel they can treat women and other minorities and it's just a-okay dandy because their magic li'l book told them it's okay. I went to that wedding I mentioned when I was just a pre teen and it really sorta cemented the fact that there's so much bullshit going on with that and just....no one deserves to deal with that. Just love each other and be happy y'all, it doesn't seem so complicated to me.
In terms of Christianity, it doesn't even say that's okay. It's just someone using it to justify their actions instead of critically examining the text, and wanting to be tribal.
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Best: My aunt's wedding. Super quick ceremony. I and my cousins were all in the 6-11 year old age range. She had a piñata for us at the reception. We devoured candy and danced and ran around like maniacs, it was glorious.
Worst: Years later, one of those same cousins mentioned above gets married. In July. In Massachusetts. Outside. The heat and humidity were unbearable. And they KNEW the weather was gonna be shit, because the wedding program they handed out to everyone before the ceremony began was shaped like a fucking fan. THEY KNEW.
The ceremony finally ends and the catering staff makes everyone wait outside the dining hall in the heat for unknown reasons for another full hour. When we're finally let in, the AC is struggling to keep up and it's hot as hell in there, too. When the dinner is served, it is NOT the vegetarian lasagna I chose on the wedding invite, no, it's a portabella mushroom burger. I hate mushrooms, I would have never chosen such a thing. They switched the menu out and didn't tell anyone. Also, no open bar, wtf.
Best was my sister's - her new in-laws' gift was the use of their sauna business as the venue (they were nudists, it wasn't a sleaze thing). The caterers had to turn the sauna on to heat the food, so after we'd all eaten, most of the guests stripped off and had a sauna - including bride and groom and me, chief bridesmaid. Really nice, fun atmosphere.
Worst ... nah, I enjoy weddings. Never been to a bad one.
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Best: My aunt's wedding. Super quick ceremony. I and my cousins were all in the 6-11 year old age range. She had a piñata for us at the reception. We devoured candy and danced and ran around like maniacs, it was glorious.
Worst: Years later, one of those same cousins mentioned above gets married. In July. In Massachusetts. Outside. The heat and humidity were unbearable. And they KNEW the weather was gonna be shit, because the wedding program they handed out to everyone before the ceremony began was shaped like a fucking fan. THEY KNEW.
The ceremony finally ends and the catering staff makes everyone wait outside the dining hall in the heat for unknown reasons for another full hour. When we're finally let in, the AC is struggling to keep up and it's hot as hell in there, too. When the dinner is served, it is NOT the vegetarian lasagna I chose on the wedding invite, no, it's a portabella mushroom burger. I hate mushrooms, I would have never chosen such a thing. They switched the menu out and didn't tell anyone. Also, no open bar, wtf.
I've not been to many, but have had people repeatedly tell me our wedding was the best they'd ever been to, so I guess ours was the best by some measure. I have an enormous family, husband and I got together as adults so both had kids too, some grown, we ended up with 50 people only inviting immediate family (brothers, sisters, their partners and kids, our parents, our kids) the weather cooperated, we had open bar and only one person got too drunk, DJ not great but not bad, so much dancing, it was nothing super fancy nor bare bones, I would say nice enough so everyone could feel comfortable and not more.
If anyone is wondering, the things I think made it good - open bar, kids running around, good music, enough structure but not too much (a cocktail hour then ceremony then reception with music & a first dance, then food, then more partying, food left out for people to get more if they want, no assigned seating, tables pushed to edges so big dance floor and again I think open bar is a non negotiable, make sure there are plenty of non alcoholic options at the bar too)
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I reckon I've been pretty lucky. The handful I've attended haven't been that bad.
The "worst" one, at least from my perspective, was probably a relative's where I was an usher and messed up something with the church seating. The guests sorted that one out themselves when they thought I wasn't looking. The wedding itself went without further problems, but that minor mess-up on my part will always stick with me.
The next "worst" was the one where the reception / after-party had a DJ who cranked the music volume another notch every 10 minutes. The venue had a literal decibel meter on the wall, and I think he had made it his goal to max that sucker out. I've been in clubs where the music is so loud you can't hear your own voice when you're talking (shouting) to someone else and this went well beyond that.
By contrast, the ceremony itself had been very demure and pleasant, in an English country manor house no less, and were it not for that DJ, it might have qualified as the best.
The best one was probably when I was a kid. I don't have any memories of the church ceremony, which has to mean I was bored out of my mind, but must have behaved myself and there were no problems of any sort. I vaguely remember the reception in a function room at a hotel and there was nothing of note there that I remember either, except exploring the hotel. Weather was good. Must have been perfect.
Don't you hate how you will relive those minor mess-ups that barely matter for years after? Most people probably don't care if they can even remember it.
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Best: My aunt's wedding. Super quick ceremony. I and my cousins were all in the 6-11 year old age range. She had a piñata for us at the reception. We devoured candy and danced and ran around like maniacs, it was glorious.
Worst: Years later, one of those same cousins mentioned above gets married. In July. In Massachusetts. Outside. The heat and humidity were unbearable. And they KNEW the weather was gonna be shit, because the wedding program they handed out to everyone before the ceremony began was shaped like a fucking fan. THEY KNEW.
The ceremony finally ends and the catering staff makes everyone wait outside the dining hall in the heat for unknown reasons for another full hour. When we're finally let in, the AC is struggling to keep up and it's hot as hell in there, too. When the dinner is served, it is NOT the vegetarian lasagna I chose on the wedding invite, no, it's a portabella mushroom burger. I hate mushrooms, I would have never chosen such a thing. They switched the menu out and didn't tell anyone. Also, no open bar, wtf.
Easiest: My brother in a field in front of his trailer with beers in hand.
Hardest: Destination wedding on an island. I disliked it. -
Best man was trashed before it started. Grooms family sat in one corner and didn’t say anything the entire time. Baby daughter of the new couple had thrush or some other contagious disease. Was held at a VFW, where they had the attached bar still open.
Groom went partying that night and didn’t go home to his new wife.
Divorced within 2 years.
Surprised they made it that long. I guess a kid would complicate breaking up.
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Surprised they made it that long. I guess a kid would complicate breaking up.
Some people just want to have kids.
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Best: My wedding. It was low-key and beautiful. The only thing I should have done differently was hire a photographer because the family members who were taking pictures did a shit job.
I'm honestly hesitant to answer the next part. I will with the disclaimer that it contains references to sexual violence. If that's uncomfortable for you, please accept my apologies and read no further.
Worst: My brother in laws wedding. The ceremony was fine. After that, we stood there for a bit talking to my wife's dad and step mom. Her dad basically admitted to mollesting one of my wife's cousins when she was a teenager. He didn't phrase it as an admission. He said she "accused him" of getting her drunk and assaulting her. And then he laughed it off saying that he couldn't imagine why anyone would accuse him of something like that.
My poor wife stood there the entire time, speechless; gripping my arm like a vice. We excused ourselves and went back to the car. She cried the entire way to the hotel. One of the few times I've ever seen her do that. She said she thought he had only assaulted her. She never imagined he would do that to other girls, otherwise she would have said something.
It took every ounce of restraint in me to keep from knocking his teeth out while he was telling that bullshit story because I knew he had done it but I also knew my wife wouldn't like it if I made a scene.
The lesson I took away from that experience, one that I try to carefully convey to my kids, is that if you are a victim of sexual assault, please, please, please tell someone. You may not be the first. But you most likely won't be the last. I know it's hard. I know it's painful. I know you wish it had never happened. I don't blame you. I don't blame my wife for not telling anyone because I know how painful it was for her.
But here's the thing. You can't erase the past. But you might be able to make sure you're the last victim, if you can find the courage within yourself to speak up.
There are times when you know you should not make a scene. Use this time to plan out in your head the scene you are going to make at a later time.
Someone needs to collect that jackass's kneecaps...
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Best: My aunt's wedding. Super quick ceremony. I and my cousins were all in the 6-11 year old age range. She had a piñata for us at the reception. We devoured candy and danced and ran around like maniacs, it was glorious.
Worst: Years later, one of those same cousins mentioned above gets married. In July. In Massachusetts. Outside. The heat and humidity were unbearable. And they KNEW the weather was gonna be shit, because the wedding program they handed out to everyone before the ceremony began was shaped like a fucking fan. THEY KNEW.
The ceremony finally ends and the catering staff makes everyone wait outside the dining hall in the heat for unknown reasons for another full hour. When we're finally let in, the AC is struggling to keep up and it's hot as hell in there, too. When the dinner is served, it is NOT the vegetarian lasagna I chose on the wedding invite, no, it's a portabella mushroom burger. I hate mushrooms, I would have never chosen such a thing. They switched the menu out and didn't tell anyone. Also, no open bar, wtf.
Best: my cousint got married in Montreal and that was a wonderful time. Beautiful city and just a rare time when my mother didn't act like an asshole. I was 13 and I looked SO nice.
Worst: my high school friend got pregnant at 18 by some Italian asshole, his mother was an immigrant Italian and hated her, and it was a rush wedding. I was a bridesmaid. The bridesmaids thought we'd take a silly photo of us with our dresses hiked up one leg in a quasi modeling pose, just for fun, and her new husband told her it looked slutty and not to do it. They're still together, antivaxxers, convoy supporters, and her teeth are so rotten it's unbelievable and sad. I know she cheated on him too. She at least got involved in a church and made some friends and took a trip to Asia, but yeah they just run a shitty pizza joint and live in the tiniest falling apart house in the world.
