What would you do if your daughter received a very expensive gift from a male friend?
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I’m talking extremely expensive, as in a brand-new Harry Winston pendant. For context, we’re a Swedish expat family living in the UAE. We’re comfortable financially, but not wealthy. Our daughter is 15 and attends an international school here. The boy is 17, a native Emirati, and goes to the same school. They’re friends, but according to my daughter, nothing more. This whole situation is completely uncharted territory for us as parents.
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I’m talking extremely expensive, as in a brand-new Harry Winston pendant. For context, we’re a Swedish expat family living in the UAE. We’re comfortable financially, but not wealthy. Our daughter is 15 and attends an international school here. The boy is 17, a native Emirati, and goes to the same school. They’re friends, but according to my daughter, nothing more. This whole situation is completely uncharted territory for us as parents.
I have no kids or plans to have kids but I am now committed to know what the general consensus for this is.
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I have no kids or plans to have kids but I am now committed to know what the general consensus for this is.
The question’s meant to be hypothetical. Everyone’s welcome to share their opinions, the more, the merrier.
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I’m talking extremely expensive, as in a brand-new Harry Winston pendant. For context, we’re a Swedish expat family living in the UAE. We’re comfortable financially, but not wealthy. Our daughter is 15 and attends an international school here. The boy is 17, a native Emirati, and goes to the same school. They’re friends, but according to my daughter, nothing more. This whole situation is completely uncharted territory for us as parents.
Other than the expensive gift this seems like a typical teenage infatuation.
"Look we know you think we have no idea, but I can bet that boy likes you as more than a friend. You have to gently let him know you're not interested before he goes too deep, otherwise he'll fall in love and you will lose a friend."
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Other than the expensive gift this seems like a typical teenage infatuation.
"Look we know you think we have no idea, but I can bet that boy likes you as more than a friend. You have to gently let him know you're not interested before he goes too deep, otherwise he'll fall in love and you will lose a friend."
Definitely agree with this, but like, hasn’t this already gotten too deep? These things easily go for over $10K from what the Internet says.
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I’m talking extremely expensive, as in a brand-new Harry Winston pendant. For context, we’re a Swedish expat family living in the UAE. We’re comfortable financially, but not wealthy. Our daughter is 15 and attends an international school here. The boy is 17, a native Emirati, and goes to the same school. They’re friends, but according to my daughter, nothing more. This whole situation is completely uncharted territory for us as parents.
Nothing, because good for her.
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I’m talking extremely expensive, as in a brand-new Harry Winston pendant. For context, we’re a Swedish expat family living in the UAE. We’re comfortable financially, but not wealthy. Our daughter is 15 and attends an international school here. The boy is 17, a native Emirati, and goes to the same school. They’re friends, but according to my daughter, nothing more. This whole situation is completely uncharted territory for us as parents.
wrote last edited by [email protected]Is he part of a crime family? If so, always play stupid and pretend you don't know while you slowly distance yourself from them completely.
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Definitely agree with this, but like, hasn’t this already gotten too deep? These things easily go for over $10K from what the Internet says.
What kind of money is normal to your family? Is $10k pocket change to your teen?
I would not let my child accept a gift that large, even if there was no infatuation involved. Keeping it is asking for trouble.
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The question’s meant to be hypothetical. Everyone’s welcome to share their opinions, the more, the merrier.
Yup - but I am also stumped a bit on what to do.
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Definitely agree with this, but like, hasn’t this already gotten too deep? These things easily go for over $10K from what the Internet says.
wrote last edited by [email protected]The cost of the gift is frankly irrelevant and completely relative to their own family's wealth, not yours. That's for the boy to decide whether the penguin pebble gamble was worth it, and for the boy's parents to decide how to deal with. Financial power plays to secure romantic relations never bode well.
Good financial lesson for him just the same. If it makes it easier, just give the gift back too.
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Definitely agree with this, but like, hasn’t this already gotten too deep? These things easily go for over $10K from what the Internet says.
wrote last edited by [email protected]Im kinda with you here. If he's trying to buy her affection she should probably return it. If he's just genuinely a friend who wanted to do something nice, then keep it i guess.
Im no teenage girl but id be suuuuper uncomfortable with a $10k gift myself
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Is he part of a crime family? If so, always play stupid and pretend you don't know while you slowly distance yourself from them completely.
Depends on whether you consider oil and gas a crime.
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What kind of money is normal to your family? Is $10k pocket change to your teen?
I would not let my child accept a gift that large, even if there was no infatuation involved. Keeping it is asking for trouble.
Absolutely no pocket change to us, but pocket change to that family. And yeah, that’s exactly how I think too.
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Definitely agree with this, but like, hasn’t this already gotten too deep? These things easily go for over $10K from what the Internet says.
Assuming his family is extremely wealthy, the stakes might not be as high for him as that number makes it sound.
A gift of jewelry suggests an infatuation to me regardless of price though, so it might be good to talk with her about how she would react if he didn't just think of her as a friend.
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I’m talking extremely expensive, as in a brand-new Harry Winston pendant. For context, we’re a Swedish expat family living in the UAE. We’re comfortable financially, but not wealthy. Our daughter is 15 and attends an international school here. The boy is 17, a native Emirati, and goes to the same school. They’re friends, but according to my daughter, nothing more. This whole situation is completely uncharted territory for us as parents.
Explain to her that not everyone gives gifts in the truest sense and some view it as transactional. This means they will view you as owing a debt equivalent to the gift. Not everyone is like this but it is a danger and some will decide at some point to force payment on the debt.
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Definitely agree with this, but like, hasn’t this already gotten too deep? These things easily go for over $10K from what the Internet says.
You're in the UAE and your uncomfortable with people being obscenely wealthy to a disgusting degree?
Financially it probably means less to that boy and their family than a pack of tobacco does for me.
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I’m talking extremely expensive, as in a brand-new Harry Winston pendant. For context, we’re a Swedish expat family living in the UAE. We’re comfortable financially, but not wealthy. Our daughter is 15 and attends an international school here. The boy is 17, a native Emirati, and goes to the same school. They’re friends, but according to my daughter, nothing more. This whole situation is completely uncharted territory for us as parents.
I'd talk to the parents first and let them know what their kid did and how your kid has expressed that they're not interested in their kid in that way.
Then I'd probably sit down with both kids and explain to them that while the gesture is very nice, from your perspective and in your culture, this level of gift is seen as a dowry. Usually dowry's aren't given unless both parties are for sure interested in each other romantically.
Now as a teenager, hormones are running wild, and so a friend may come off as a lover. I'd say you're stepping in and declining the offer to prevent a friendship being ruined. I personally was in the exact same situation, decided to stay friends, and they're one of my best friends to this day
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The question’s meant to be hypothetical. Everyone’s welcome to share their opinions, the more, the merrier.
wrote last edited by [email protected]Hmm just a while back, someone asked a similar question but about an iPhone. Then I saw this now and I'm like: Dayum, where are y'all getting these classmates? I want some of these gifts
