Easter Eggs Are So Expensive Americans Are Dyeing Potatoes
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Thanks for the heads-up.
I'm gonna boil chocolate eggs this year, like a normal person. -
All I have is a modified Irish joke:
How many eggs does it take to kill a democracy?::: spoiler Spoiler
none
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Why would you die a chocolate egg?
and also how
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cool! i don't have that much exposure to orthodox traditions. it reads like in orthodoxy the fertility symbol of the egg was recontextualized to represent Jesus tomb with the shell representing marble. the pictures are interesting, too. at first when you mentioned orthodoxy i imagined elaborate designs, but no. they're a deep dark red. i suggest others look them up because it's interesting seeing the differences in traditions.
in catholic and protestant descended easter egg traditions the most common colors for the eggs to be are blue, yellow, pink, purple, and green. these are springtime colors and in pagan traditions represented the potential for new life. the fact that we still do things like easter egg hunts and have a mystical magical bunny that brings children candy is a result of that the catholic church learned early on that if you strip pagans of their favorite traditions at first contact they get violent and angry because giving candy to children is fun and nice
You're right, essentially all so called Christian holidays and traditions are just rebranded older traditions from other religions. People were far more amenable to converting to or at least tolerating Christianity if they could continue their existing holidays and traditions largely unchanged, so Christian churches came up with various explanations for why those holidays were now Christian. It's why for instance Christmas is in December suspiciously close to the winter solstice despite all evidence pointing to Jesus being born at a different part of the year. Sometimes they don't even bother with trying to pretend like with Christmas trees and the easter bunny (also the name easter).
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The whole point of Easter eggs is they are dyed red to represent the blood of Christ, with further symbolism being found in the hard shell of the egg symbolizing the sealed Tomb of Christ—the cracking of which symbolized his resurrection from the dead. Dyeing potatoes is not Christian tradition.
Sounds like some people are going to hell then.
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and also how
A thin layer of colored chocolate?
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Why would you die a chocolate egg?
You don't dye them, you buy them wrapped in colorful paper.
Not that anybody bothers with an egg hunt anymore over here, people just give these to kids directly now. Sometimes they're chocolate bunnies instead because everybody knows who the real star is and chocolate tastes better than boiled eggs.
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I just bought a dozen yesterday, $4 and change. Didn't seem SUPER expensive. I could have dropped the per-egg price if I bought 18, but I don't need 18 eggs...
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I have to see it before I believe it. Funny as hell though if true.
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When I was growing up I never connected that we always had a special "breakfast for dinner" the night before Easter. What was happening is that my parents would carefully crack one end of a dozen eggs to preserve the majority of the shell, and wash them. After lightly baking the empty shells to make sure they were dry/sanitary, my dad would fill them with a candy mix (M&Ms, Skittles, peanuts, mints) then seal the egg with royal icing and dry. These eggs would be hidden in random places throughout the house. Little kid me never questioned the arrival of the eggs, but enjoyed smashing the shell and spilling the candy out.
By the time I had kids, the best I could muster is plastic shells we would fill with candy and toys. My kids still had fun and I just reused the shells year after year.
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We always dyed real eggs and hunted a mix of the real eggs and the plastic ones with candy in them.
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The whole point of Easter eggs is they are dyed red to represent the blood of Christ, with further symbolism being found in the hard shell of the egg symbolizing the sealed Tomb of Christ—the cracking of which symbolized his resurrection from the dead. Dyeing potatoes is not Christian tradition.
It's not Christian, it was appropriated from other cultures/religions.
Easter is celebrated on the first Sunday after the first full moon following the spring equinox - a very pagan way of calculating things.
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I'm not even sorry to laugh out loud at the title.
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Did you know if you leave potato's out in the sun they turn green and create a neurotoxin called solanine? If ingested it can cause illness, nerve damage, even death!
In WWII women forced to cook for Nazis would put green potatos in the soldiers soup and could kill or disable whole unit if done right. And the symptoms are very similar to regular food poisoning so it often was just overlooked as just spoiled food.
And if green potato's start to rot the gas is also lethal, so some rotten potato's hidden in an enclosed space like a bedroom can do the job too.
Know your history.
*potatoes, Mr. Quayle.
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You don't dye them, you buy them wrapped in colorful paper.
Not that anybody bothers with an egg hunt anymore over here, people just give these to kids directly now. Sometimes they're chocolate bunnies instead because everybody knows who the real star is and chocolate tastes better than boiled eggs.
Where are you that you don't do Easter egg hunts anymore? They're still pretty popular in my part of the Midwest US. Hell, it's not even a religious thing anymore haha
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I pity The Onion's writers.
Time to start reporting sane news instead
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Bunny is not Easter tradition. I don't know what is it. Eggs are. At least in Ortodox Christianity, don't know in other versions.
In the US, which this story is about, the Easter Bunny is as traditional as Santa Claus
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Time to start reporting sane news instead
"US President has an uneventful Thursday and doesn't crash the world economy".
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Seems that expensive potatoes are next.
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The whole point of Easter eggs is they are dyed red to represent the blood of Christ, with further symbolism being found in the hard shell of the egg symbolizing the sealed Tomb of Christ—the cracking of which symbolized his resurrection from the dead. Dyeing potatoes is not Christian tradition.
So.. you're saying its blasphemy and we can burn or stone the potato dying people right?
/s
