Expectations vs reality for those who moved from a city to a small town?
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Here’s the thing about “groceries in town”. You will find deals at the deli/bakery and possibly the butcher areas of the store. Sometimes. That said, 80% of it is ridiculously priced.
What often happens is people store more food and bundle their drive into town for stuff.
I will, for example, do most of my grocery shopping after my last shift in a run. Less gas and bother and it’s on the way.
We have a large garden. Two freezers. Cold storage. Two fridges. Fruit trees. If a snow storm dropped and we were stuck for a month we’d be fine. The food would get boring, but we’d be fine.
The one danger to this move you’re making will be the sounds or lack thereof. Once you go rural you may have a very hard time going back to hearing people and their vehicles all the time. As in they become a point of grating stress until they stop.
That's something I've thought about. I already cook most of my food from scratch and expect I should stock up from the bigger town out of the way on occasion. My town does get a lot of snow.
As for the sounds, I'm so looking forward to peace and quiet. There's always someone's car alarm going off in the middle of the night, or the dogs getting into barking and howling matches. Hell is other people.
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I'm in the process of doing the above and would like to hear about your experience. Were there any surprises? What was as you expected?
Depending on the town, it might be very religious, which means everything will be closed on Sundays. Restaurants, grocers, hardware stores, all of it.
Also, in the US, rural/small town vibes usually mean conservative politics are what goes. If it's a bedroom community, meaning most everyone commutes to the nearest city to go to work, then that's less likely, but there's no knowing until you're there.
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Depending on the town, it might be very religious, which means everything will be closed on Sundays. Restaurants, grocers, hardware stores, all of it.
Also, in the US, rural/small town vibes usually mean conservative politics are what goes. If it's a bedroom community, meaning most everyone commutes to the nearest city to go to work, then that's less likely, but there's no knowing until you're there.
Also, in the US, rural/small town vibes usually mean conservative politics are what goes.
This is a good point which I've considered and looked into a bit. This is in Ontario, Canada. The small town voted Liberal in our recent federal election. The bigger city I'm leaving voted Conservative. Curious as it's usually the other way around!
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Ontario, Canada
Gotcha. Can't really help you there, then.
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I'm in the process of doing the above and would like to hear about your experience. Were there any surprises? What was as you expected?
wrote last edited by [email protected]Not exactly city but still rather near to city center(15-20min drive), to a small town that's quite remote from most stuff(35-50min drive).
Expectation: air quality would be good, quiet, very far commute to work
Reality: air quality is mostly good, quiet, very far from work.
Surprise: there's one poultry farm nearby which make the air quality worst for certain time of day.
Not-surprise but still annoying: i picked up cycling after i moved here, and there's no safe biking path to the city, even the backroad still require me to ride on a few km of road, and some fuck will not give ample space when passing through.
Surprise but a welcomed one: i get access to country-side cycling route via backroad.
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How small are we talking? I moved from a large city (Ft. Lauderdale, FL 185k people) to an insanley large city (Brooklyn, NY 2.6 million) then as a sort of whip lash decided I wanted rural living so I took my RV to an area I was thinking of buying a few acres in (Mossyrock, WA ~1000 people) and plopped for a few months. It was not for me. Real "one coffee shop, one restaraunt, one bar" type place and while I loved it initially, the pain-in-the ass of day to day living was too much. Think 20 min drives to the closest gas station, 45 min drives to the nearest large grocer.
After moving around the area quite a bit, I landed on a place with ~35k people and to me, after two years, I am still loving it. Feels like small town rural living but downtown is a 10 min drive away with a bunch of eateries, bars, nightlife, etc.
Pros of 'smaller' town living (after trying a few areas that passed the vibe check):
- Community. With everything going on in the world right now it feels like you are powerless. Shrinking the scope of your action to your neighbors and your immediate area empowers you to make change in a way you've never felt before. You can participate and have direct impact in all sorts of ways, from city council meetings, to improvement projects, to just participating in a local farmers market.
- Safety. Some people may see this as a negative, and I guess it could be depending on how invasive your direct neighbors are lol, but for me on 5 acres it's been incredible. Everyone knows if something is amiss and are not afraid to 'ring the alarm' as it were. When I first bought the property I was parking along the road as it was very overgrown, countless people stopped and asked if I needed help with the car (assuming I had broken down) then proceeded to introduce themselves and have met a ton of people in this way.
- Affordability. Land and housing is cheaper, groceries stay the same (assuming you are near a main interstate). You can buy a house for the price of an apartment in a large city.
- Quiet. Being in a large city is being in the belly of the beast. The gears are turning all night long. With smaller city living, it's the opposite, peace and quiet, take a deep breath and relax. Night life and night owls still exist, but you have to go hunt them down.
- Less Police Presence. Crime rates drop inordinately as the population decreases, and with that, you see a lot less "boys in blue" - furthermore, because it's usually just a few people, you get to know them and have less anxiety with interactions.
- Gardens and Greenery. Speaks for itself, less population density == less concrete paradise == more biodiversity.
Cons:
- Commute. If you don't have a WFH gig, most smaller cities will not have an abundance of the type of work you do. You'll most likely have a commute so somewhere with light rail might be awesome for you if that's the case.
- Gentrification. Depending on where you come from and where you are moving to, you might be seen as a sort of 'colonizer.' I don't get that sneer but I did get several people making sure I was not coming from California LOL.
- Slower Pace. In FL it's known colloquially as "Cuban Time" basically meaning that time estimates should be taken with a grain of salt. The pace of the life is slower in a small town and you might find services taking forever to be completed. If you can relax and go with the flow though, it shouldn't be too much of an issue.
Ok this turned into an essay, this new coffee bean smacks. Best of luck!
A lot of people from California come to the smaller cities near bigger cities in southern Missouri. What sucks is that they're driving up the costs of homes and real estate. Wish I could go somewhere that's still kinda nice and get a bigger nicer house for 1\4 the cost and retire early.
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And the lack of ingredients in the restaurants.
Seriously only a choice between orange or white cheese?
Cheese is named by colour, and not name, in your area? That's amazing
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Cheese is named by colour, and not name, in your area? That's amazing
By color, yes.
If you call it emmental, cheddar or worse of all something like provolone you’d probably get told to go back to LA or NYC.
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By color, yes.
If you call it emmental, cheddar or worse of all something like provolone you’d probably get told to go back to LA or NYC.
Crazy. Alternate reality spelling of colour, and cheese is named, not by name. The world is indeed, a strange place.
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I'm in the process of doing the above and would like to hear about your experience. Were there any surprises? What was as you expected?
wrote last edited by [email protected]Also Ontario, not quite as small as you are mentioning but I also came from a much bigger city:
- services you are used to and good you could find easily just... don't exist? My dryer broke and I wanted to find a laundry mat that had hours that worked for me and my work schedule, but nope.
- people are all up in each other's business and it's normal. Gone are the days where I could have a quiet cry on public transit (lol what public transit) - people pay so much attention to your comings and going
- because there is so much less anonymity you kind of have to make the effort to get along with people you might not otherwise like. Tangential: the number of people I see in unhealthy, unhappy relationships because they honestly "didn't have any other options" is wild.
- people are way more xenophobic than I expected. Casually racist too, not really understanding that it's racism. I know it's not everyone and I think it's because they don't know anyone belong to demographics that are different than them.
- I'm like a 6/10 on the scale of weirdo (not conforming to social norms) and no one even blinked back home. Here it's a problem for some people.
- if you need a recommendation for a service, honestly ask your neighbor or someone you generally trust. They will know someone and that person is usually pretty good. We asked our home inspector if they knew any well people and he gave us a first name. After some googling we found him and he was excellent lol.
Eta, thought of a few more:
- you said small town but didn't specify rural or not so this might not apply to you but the switch from municipal water to well and septic took a little adjustment. I went from surface water to ground water and the taste was very different but I got used to it quickly.
- also a rural thing: We ended up with a lot less land than we originally wanted because we didn't realize the lower land/house costs were in places with absolute shit satellite or cellular internet.
- way more drunk driving
- people here smoke a lot more weed than I would have expected, which is nice for me lol
- people have been really nice in general which is the flip side of the lack of anonymity.
- rural grocery stores are expensive. I'm looking at you, foodland. There aren't as many low cost grocery stores. I really, really miss the little green grocers I used to frequent.
- people take hockey very seriously. I guess that also explains the golf.
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Also Ontario, not quite as small as you are mentioning but I also came from a much bigger city:
- services you are used to and good you could find easily just... don't exist? My dryer broke and I wanted to find a laundry mat that had hours that worked for me and my work schedule, but nope.
- people are all up in each other's business and it's normal. Gone are the days where I could have a quiet cry on public transit (lol what public transit) - people pay so much attention to your comings and going
- because there is so much less anonymity you kind of have to make the effort to get along with people you might not otherwise like. Tangential: the number of people I see in unhealthy, unhappy relationships because they honestly "didn't have any other options" is wild.
- people are way more xenophobic than I expected. Casually racist too, not really understanding that it's racism. I know it's not everyone and I think it's because they don't know anyone belong to demographics that are different than them.
- I'm like a 6/10 on the scale of weirdo (not conforming to social norms) and no one even blinked back home. Here it's a problem for some people.
- if you need a recommendation for a service, honestly ask your neighbor or someone you generally trust. They will know someone and that person is usually pretty good. We asked our home inspector if they knew any well people and he gave us a first name. After some googling we found him and he was excellent lol.
Eta, thought of a few more:
- you said small town but didn't specify rural or not so this might not apply to you but the switch from municipal water to well and septic took a little adjustment. I went from surface water to ground water and the taste was very different but I got used to it quickly.
- also a rural thing: We ended up with a lot less land than we originally wanted because we didn't realize the lower land/house costs were in places with absolute shit satellite or cellular internet.
- way more drunk driving
- people here smoke a lot more weed than I would have expected, which is nice for me lol
- people have been really nice in general which is the flip side of the lack of anonymity.
- rural grocery stores are expensive. I'm looking at you, foodland. There aren't as many low cost grocery stores. I really, really miss the little green grocers I used to frequent.
- people take hockey very seriously. I guess that also explains the golf.
people are all up in each other's business and it's normal.
Do you have any stories to tell about that?
I'm like a 6/10 on the scale of weirdo (not conforming to social norms) and no one even blinked back home. Here it's a problem for some people.
I'm also curious about what this is like. I'm probably a bit more "alternative" in appearance than the average person up there, but I think I could also blend in if not for the fact that they won't recognize me as being from there. Are you talking about things like tattoos and piercings?
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people are all up in each other's business and it's normal.
Do you have any stories to tell about that?
I'm like a 6/10 on the scale of weirdo (not conforming to social norms) and no one even blinked back home. Here it's a problem for some people.
I'm also curious about what this is like. I'm probably a bit more "alternative" in appearance than the average person up there, but I think I could also blend in if not for the fact that they won't recognize me as being from there. Are you talking about things like tattoos and piercings?
Do you have any stories to tell about that?
No specific stories come to mind, but my neighbor who is a very chill live-and-let live dude knows everything about all the other neighbors. He's probably in his late 30s so he's not a retiree sitting around watching people come and go.
I think it might be more that people get to know each other more and make more observations about people because there are less data points, if that makes sense? Whereas in the bigger city people are aggressive about not remembering you/not paying attention outside of certain situations (like getting to know people at the dog park).
Maybe the thing that sticks out are people in shops striking up convos and remembering you. One woman at the hardware store remarked that it was weird to see us because it wasn't Sunday.
I'm also curious about what this is like. I'm probably a bit more "alternative" in appearance than the average person up there, but I think I could also blend in if not for the fact that they won't recognize me as being from there. Are you talking about things like tattoos and piercings?
Tattoos are very common here but there is also a lot of military so it might corelate. I have tattoos and piercings but for the first time in my professional life my boss had tattoos as well lol. I'm an engineer who works mostly with the trades but maybe 10% of the time I'm dealing with "fancy" office engineers so maybe they do have more of a problem with my tattoos, piercings, and field gear wardrobe than I initially thought.
In my specific situation I think the fact that I'm not as formal or deferential as they were expecting. I am very straightforward and I expect people to be straightforward with me too. The field staff really appreciated it because they thought the big city girl would be pretentious and stuffy, but for others I didn't follow the niceties they were expecting and I'm way too outspoken for a woman lol. In the bigger city there was less of a divide between the blue collar and white collar workers. I'm not used to that and the expectation to be "professional" meaning anything other than treating people with respect.
On the flip side of that people at all levels are way too comfortable pushing back on diversity, equity and inclusion initiatives very publicly. I haven't gotten involved in that kind of stuff here because I'm still trying to get used to the job, settle in, etc. In the bigger city they might grumble a bit but would know better than to keep up the behaviors they were told wouldn't fly. I gave positive space training to a group of millwrights back home, but I'm not sure I'd put myself in that situation here. It just feels 10 years behind. That's not to say everyone is out there being problematic, but people are a lot more comfortable being a passive bystander and that's allowing bullshit to continue.
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Do you have any stories to tell about that?
No specific stories come to mind, but my neighbor who is a very chill live-and-let live dude knows everything about all the other neighbors. He's probably in his late 30s so he's not a retiree sitting around watching people come and go.
I think it might be more that people get to know each other more and make more observations about people because there are less data points, if that makes sense? Whereas in the bigger city people are aggressive about not remembering you/not paying attention outside of certain situations (like getting to know people at the dog park).
Maybe the thing that sticks out are people in shops striking up convos and remembering you. One woman at the hardware store remarked that it was weird to see us because it wasn't Sunday.
I'm also curious about what this is like. I'm probably a bit more "alternative" in appearance than the average person up there, but I think I could also blend in if not for the fact that they won't recognize me as being from there. Are you talking about things like tattoos and piercings?
Tattoos are very common here but there is also a lot of military so it might corelate. I have tattoos and piercings but for the first time in my professional life my boss had tattoos as well lol. I'm an engineer who works mostly with the trades but maybe 10% of the time I'm dealing with "fancy" office engineers so maybe they do have more of a problem with my tattoos, piercings, and field gear wardrobe than I initially thought.
In my specific situation I think the fact that I'm not as formal or deferential as they were expecting. I am very straightforward and I expect people to be straightforward with me too. The field staff really appreciated it because they thought the big city girl would be pretentious and stuffy, but for others I didn't follow the niceties they were expecting and I'm way too outspoken for a woman lol. In the bigger city there was less of a divide between the blue collar and white collar workers. I'm not used to that and the expectation to be "professional" meaning anything other than treating people with respect.
On the flip side of that people at all levels are way too comfortable pushing back on diversity, equity and inclusion initiatives very publicly. I haven't gotten involved in that kind of stuff here because I'm still trying to get used to the job, settle in, etc. In the bigger city they might grumble a bit but would know better than to keep up the behaviors they were told wouldn't fly. I gave positive space training to a group of millwrights back home, but I'm not sure I'd put myself in that situation here. It just feels 10 years behind. That's not to say everyone is out there being problematic, but people are a lot more comfortable being a passive bystander and that's allowing bullshit to continue.
That makes sense that, because there are less people, it's easier to keep track of each other even if it's just due to passive observation.
I appreciate reading your insights. Thanks for sharing!
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That makes sense that, because there are less people, it's easier to keep track of each other even if it's just due to passive observation.
I appreciate reading your insights. Thanks for sharing!
Good luck!
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I'm in the process of doing the above and would like to hear about your experience. Were there any surprises? What was as you expected?
wrote last edited by [email protected]The pond gets small really fucking quick. You will run into someone you know almost every time you leave the house. You can't just blend in and get away from anything. Including whatever reputation you develop.
It's honestly fucking awful.
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How small are we talking? I moved from a large city (Ft. Lauderdale, FL 185k people) to an insanley large city (Brooklyn, NY 2.6 million) then as a sort of whip lash decided I wanted rural living so I took my RV to an area I was thinking of buying a few acres in (Mossyrock, WA ~1000 people) and plopped for a few months. It was not for me. Real "one coffee shop, one restaraunt, one bar" type place and while I loved it initially, the pain-in-the ass of day to day living was too much. Think 20 min drives to the closest gas station, 45 min drives to the nearest large grocer.
After moving around the area quite a bit, I landed on a place with ~35k people and to me, after two years, I am still loving it. Feels like small town rural living but downtown is a 10 min drive away with a bunch of eateries, bars, nightlife, etc.
Pros of 'smaller' town living (after trying a few areas that passed the vibe check):
- Community. With everything going on in the world right now it feels like you are powerless. Shrinking the scope of your action to your neighbors and your immediate area empowers you to make change in a way you've never felt before. You can participate and have direct impact in all sorts of ways, from city council meetings, to improvement projects, to just participating in a local farmers market.
- Safety. Some people may see this as a negative, and I guess it could be depending on how invasive your direct neighbors are lol, but for me on 5 acres it's been incredible. Everyone knows if something is amiss and are not afraid to 'ring the alarm' as it were. When I first bought the property I was parking along the road as it was very overgrown, countless people stopped and asked if I needed help with the car (assuming I had broken down) then proceeded to introduce themselves and have met a ton of people in this way.
- Affordability. Land and housing is cheaper, groceries stay the same (assuming you are near a main interstate). You can buy a house for the price of an apartment in a large city.
- Quiet. Being in a large city is being in the belly of the beast. The gears are turning all night long. With smaller city living, it's the opposite, peace and quiet, take a deep breath and relax. Night life and night owls still exist, but you have to go hunt them down.
- Less Police Presence. Crime rates drop inordinately as the population decreases, and with that, you see a lot less "boys in blue" - furthermore, because it's usually just a few people, you get to know them and have less anxiety with interactions.
- Gardens and Greenery. Speaks for itself, less population density == less concrete paradise == more biodiversity.
Cons:
- Commute. If you don't have a WFH gig, most smaller cities will not have an abundance of the type of work you do. You'll most likely have a commute so somewhere with light rail might be awesome for you if that's the case.
- Gentrification. Depending on where you come from and where you are moving to, you might be seen as a sort of 'colonizer.' I don't get that sneer but I did get several people making sure I was not coming from California LOL.
- Slower Pace. In FL it's known colloquially as "Cuban Time" basically meaning that time estimates should be taken with a grain of salt. The pace of the life is slower in a small town and you might find services taking forever to be completed. If you can relax and go with the flow though, it shouldn't be too much of an issue.
Ok this turned into an essay, this new coffee bean smacks. Best of luck!
wrote last edited by [email protected]Small town only feel safer until you end up pissing off the wrong person with the right influence. And then it feels like living in some Mafia nightmare. It doesn't even take pissing people off either. Tell someone you are gay in secret? Now half the town thinks you are a pedophile.
Small town "safety" is a myth for the privileged. The crime gap is also kind of a myth. Most small town police departments won't even write a report for domestic violence unless someone ends up in the hospital.
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I'm in the process of doing the above and would like to hear about your experience. Were there any surprises? What was as you expected?
How small we talking?
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I'm in the process of doing the above and would like to hear about your experience. Were there any surprises? What was as you expected?
The selection shrinks... on everything. 30 beers on tap at that nice brewhouse becomes 3 at the local watering hole. 20 different unique restaraunts becomes a subway and a chinese place. Groceries? Sure, enjoy your walmart and dollar general.
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How small are we talking? I moved from a large city (Ft. Lauderdale, FL 185k people) to an insanley large city (Brooklyn, NY 2.6 million) then as a sort of whip lash decided I wanted rural living so I took my RV to an area I was thinking of buying a few acres in (Mossyrock, WA ~1000 people) and plopped for a few months. It was not for me. Real "one coffee shop, one restaraunt, one bar" type place and while I loved it initially, the pain-in-the ass of day to day living was too much. Think 20 min drives to the closest gas station, 45 min drives to the nearest large grocer.
After moving around the area quite a bit, I landed on a place with ~35k people and to me, after two years, I am still loving it. Feels like small town rural living but downtown is a 10 min drive away with a bunch of eateries, bars, nightlife, etc.
Pros of 'smaller' town living (after trying a few areas that passed the vibe check):
- Community. With everything going on in the world right now it feels like you are powerless. Shrinking the scope of your action to your neighbors and your immediate area empowers you to make change in a way you've never felt before. You can participate and have direct impact in all sorts of ways, from city council meetings, to improvement projects, to just participating in a local farmers market.
- Safety. Some people may see this as a negative, and I guess it could be depending on how invasive your direct neighbors are lol, but for me on 5 acres it's been incredible. Everyone knows if something is amiss and are not afraid to 'ring the alarm' as it were. When I first bought the property I was parking along the road as it was very overgrown, countless people stopped and asked if I needed help with the car (assuming I had broken down) then proceeded to introduce themselves and have met a ton of people in this way.
- Affordability. Land and housing is cheaper, groceries stay the same (assuming you are near a main interstate). You can buy a house for the price of an apartment in a large city.
- Quiet. Being in a large city is being in the belly of the beast. The gears are turning all night long. With smaller city living, it's the opposite, peace and quiet, take a deep breath and relax. Night life and night owls still exist, but you have to go hunt them down.
- Less Police Presence. Crime rates drop inordinately as the population decreases, and with that, you see a lot less "boys in blue" - furthermore, because it's usually just a few people, you get to know them and have less anxiety with interactions.
- Gardens and Greenery. Speaks for itself, less population density == less concrete paradise == more biodiversity.
Cons:
- Commute. If you don't have a WFH gig, most smaller cities will not have an abundance of the type of work you do. You'll most likely have a commute so somewhere with light rail might be awesome for you if that's the case.
- Gentrification. Depending on where you come from and where you are moving to, you might be seen as a sort of 'colonizer.' I don't get that sneer but I did get several people making sure I was not coming from California LOL.
- Slower Pace. In FL it's known colloquially as "Cuban Time" basically meaning that time estimates should be taken with a grain of salt. The pace of the life is slower in a small town and you might find services taking forever to be completed. If you can relax and go with the flow though, it shouldn't be too much of an issue.
Ok this turned into an essay, this new coffee bean smacks. Best of luck!
- **Less Police Presence**. Crime rates drop inordinately as the population decreases, and with that, you see a lot less "boys in blue" - furthermore, because it's usually just a few people, you get to know them and have less anxiety with interactions.
That’s not the impression I got from Twin Peaks 🧐
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The slutty farmer’s daughter is usually ugly but always a great lay.
Username totally checks out.
