Expectations vs reality for those who moved from a city to a small town?
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If you're not living a boring life, then you should naturally come across plenty of different people with plenty of different opportunities to make connections.
"Meeting people at the grocery store" is a lazy and ignorant excuse to justify going to bars. If you think those are your only two options, then you're the problem and I pity anyone who gets caught in your web.
Why do I need to justify going to a bar?
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Do you have any stories to tell about that?
No specific stories come to mind, but my neighbor who is a very chill live-and-let live dude knows everything about all the other neighbors. He's probably in his late 30s so he's not a retiree sitting around watching people come and go.
I think it might be more that people get to know each other more and make more observations about people because there are less data points, if that makes sense? Whereas in the bigger city people are aggressive about not remembering you/not paying attention outside of certain situations (like getting to know people at the dog park).
Maybe the thing that sticks out are people in shops striking up convos and remembering you. One woman at the hardware store remarked that it was weird to see us because it wasn't Sunday.
I'm also curious about what this is like. I'm probably a bit more "alternative" in appearance than the average person up there, but I think I could also blend in if not for the fact that they won't recognize me as being from there. Are you talking about things like tattoos and piercings?
Tattoos are very common here but there is also a lot of military so it might corelate. I have tattoos and piercings but for the first time in my professional life my boss had tattoos as well lol. I'm an engineer who works mostly with the trades but maybe 10% of the time I'm dealing with "fancy" office engineers so maybe they do have more of a problem with my tattoos, piercings, and field gear wardrobe than I initially thought.
In my specific situation I think the fact that I'm not as formal or deferential as they were expecting. I am very straightforward and I expect people to be straightforward with me too. The field staff really appreciated it because they thought the big city girl would be pretentious and stuffy, but for others I didn't follow the niceties they were expecting and I'm way too outspoken for a woman lol. In the bigger city there was less of a divide between the blue collar and white collar workers. I'm not used to that and the expectation to be "professional" meaning anything other than treating people with respect.
On the flip side of that people at all levels are way too comfortable pushing back on diversity, equity and inclusion initiatives very publicly. I haven't gotten involved in that kind of stuff here because I'm still trying to get used to the job, settle in, etc. In the bigger city they might grumble a bit but would know better than to keep up the behaviors they were told wouldn't fly. I gave positive space training to a group of millwrights back home, but I'm not sure I'd put myself in that situation here. It just feels 10 years behind. That's not to say everyone is out there being problematic, but people are a lot more comfortable being a passive bystander and that's allowing bullshit to continue.
Live and let live has a different vibe out in the sticks.
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Doesn't surprise me that the main thing city people complain about is they need more places to spend their money.
wrote last edited by [email protected]"Oh, is Mr. Bougie too good for our local pub gruel!?"
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I'm in the process of doing the above and would like to hear about your experience. Were there any surprises? What was as you expected?
I've noticed that eccentric people tend to drift towards rural areas. My in-laws live in the middle of nowhere in the West Country in the UK and all of their neighbours are similar to them: eccentric singletons or couples with few friends.
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I'm in the process of doing the above and would like to hear about your experience. Were there any surprises? What was as you expected?
I think this really, really depends on the country.
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Why do I need to justify going to a bar?
Ask the people here trying to justify why they go to bars.
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I’m mostly referring to liquor because it’s the most economical way to get drunk.
Why not bathtub moonshine? That is even more economical.
Hey man, if you have more money than sense that's your problem. You don't have to go around replying to everything I post trying to explain why you like getting ripped off.
The profit margins for the alcohol you buy at bars is significantly higher than alcohol you buy in stores. You're getting ripped off, and in typical useful idiot fashion, you need to figure out some way to avoid acknowledging it.
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And you don't understand that some people prefer the bar. But I guess you have the only right way to do things.
If you're insecure about getting taken for a ride, that's on you. There's no argument you can make to change the fact that you are being fleeced when you buy alcohol at bars. Drug addicts say the same things when they are paying 500%+ markup on their drugs. "It's worth it to them."
Keep going to bat for the people ripping you off. It's what's expected of you.
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Hey man, if you have more money than sense that's your problem. You don't have to go around replying to everything I post trying to explain why you like getting ripped off.
The profit margins for the alcohol you buy at bars is significantly higher than alcohol you buy in stores. You're getting ripped off, and in typical useful idiot fashion, you need to figure out some way to avoid acknowledging it.
Did you reply to the wrong comment or something? This doesn't make any sense.
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Did you reply to the wrong comment or something? This doesn't make any sense.
If you don't want to understand something, then you won't understand it.
I don't expect more from you.
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If you're insecure about getting taken for a ride, that's on you. There's no argument you can make to change the fact that you are being fleeced when you buy alcohol at bars. Drug addicts say the same things when they are paying 500%+ markup on their drugs. "It's worth it to them."
Keep going to bat for the people ripping you off. It's what's expected of you.
Lol I'm not insecure, nice try. When I went to a bar I had a pint or three in good company, sometimes, shocker!, we even ate at a restaurant, even if I could have been paying less for something cheap from the supermarket and eat at home.
But you do you, watch out for scurvy as you eat crappy cheap food alone at home lol, counting every penny.
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Lol I'm not insecure, nice try. When I went to a bar I had a pint or three in good company, sometimes, shocker!, we even ate at a restaurant, even if I could have been paying less for something cheap from the supermarket and eat at home.
But you do you, watch out for scurvy as you eat crappy cheap food alone at home lol, counting every penny.
wrote last edited by [email protected]Lol I’m not insecure
Sure bud. That's why you keep trying to justify to us why you're not getting ripped off when you are.
I might as well be talking to a heroin addict. They don't think they're getting ripped off, either.
I've sold drugs to people like you before, and it's always sad when you don't realize how much money I'm making off of your ignorance.
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Lol I’m not insecure
Sure bud. That's why you keep trying to justify to us why you're not getting ripped off when you are.
I might as well be talking to a heroin addict. They don't think they're getting ripped off, either.
I've sold drugs to people like you before, and it's always sad when you don't realize how much money I'm making off of your ignorance.
So you're a complete asshole, a drug seller, trying to teach me a valuable life lesson, looooooooooooool
BTW you're probably not, just an angsty teenager sitting in mom's basement and have only seen drugs, bars and friends on TV.
Go touch grass.
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So you're a complete asshole, a drug seller, trying to teach me a valuable life lesson, looooooooooooool
BTW you're probably not, just an angsty teenager sitting in mom's basement and have only seen drugs, bars and friends on TV.
Go touch grass.
Lol I’m not insecure
Sure bud.
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Ask the people here trying to justify why they go to bars.
What is there to justify? Is going to bars immoral? Unethical?
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I'm in the process of doing the above and would like to hear about your experience. Were there any surprises? What was as you expected?
The old joke, "If you want to live forever move to a small town because every day will feel like an eternity."
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What is there to justify? Is going to bars immoral? Unethical?
Re-read my previous comment.
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The old joke, "If you want to live forever move to a small town because every day will feel like an eternity."
Time does seem to move more quickly the older I get. Maybe I want it to slow down. Though I wonder what difference the size of town or city really makes?
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Time does seem to move more quickly the older I get. Maybe I want it to slow down. Though I wonder what difference the size of town or city really makes?
It's the rush and hubbub of those around you. You won't expect things to happen instantly because there aren't enough people around to jump when you ask. I live in South Florida now, and if I want a tree cut down on my property, I can call an arborist and he will be there to estimate and probably complete the job in a matter of days. I am moving to NH, and the same service they are like "we only do estimates on Saturdays...and it's raining this Saturday... So maybe next Saturday we can come out for an estimate".
It's not a terrible thing. You get used to things taking a little longer. Might be a long walk or a bit of a drive to get to your favorite diner, but you know the people there now, and you can spend a bit more time on breakfast catching up with them.
Shops probably close a bit earlier too. You might as well go home for the night early since nowhere is open. Might be nice to catch up on reading that book this evening. You can shop tomorrow. Etc etc.
