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  3. The best thing you can do for the fediverse is just be kind

The best thing you can do for the fediverse is just be kind

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  • cris_color@lemmy.worldC [email protected]

    It sounds like we share very similar approaches šŸ™‚

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    Guest
    wrote on last edited by
    #382

    Oh and happy Lemmy anniversary. Is it really today? Weird coincidence that I joined today.

    I got temporarily banned from Reddit for saying that using ivermectin might kill you, and that was it. I’m done.

    cris_color@lemmy.worldC 1 Reply Last reply
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    • A [email protected]

      Completely right OP, and this is worth repeating as MUCH as possible. More than almost any UX or intake changes, Fediverse will only grow if their experience of the community is good.

      Unfortunately, some people have never caught a vibe in their life and it shows lol. A single person with a bad attitude can completely tank your experience in a small community, versus a 20,000 person subreddit where usernames are basically indistinguishable.

      cris_color@lemmy.worldC This user is from outside of this forum
      cris_color@lemmy.worldC This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote on last edited by
      #383

      some people have never caught a vibe in their life and it shows

      Lmao. And yeah, we actually have tangible evidence to support that idea Erin kissane has done a lot of incredible research work on how to effectively design the fediverse and support people in navigating it and one of the earlier things she did was interview people who left Mastodon after having bad experiences and collate that data-

      A lot of people's reasons is that when they joined they were met with hostility. It plays a huge role in people's experiences here, and even just from a purely pragmatic perspective it's REALLY important

      S 1 Reply Last reply
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      • cris_color@lemmy.worldC [email protected]

        The fediverse is small, and thats both a blessing and a curse - one of its several blessings is that in a smaller space we all individually have a bigger impact on what the culture of this space is like.

        On this comm (and on lemmy broadly) there's a lot of discussion about how to grow the fediverse, what to improve, but an easy thing you can do for the fediverse is right in front of us-

        • Be kind

        • Ask people what they think, and why

        • Approach folks you disagree with with curiosity rather than hostility

        • Engage sincerely

        • Ask yourself if there's something nice you can say

        • Make this small space worth being in

        A platform lives or dies by what's available on said platform and often we have this conversation in the context of "content" or posts - and we may never have as much content as reddit does. But content and posts aren't the only thing this kind of platform offers- it also offers people. It offers community, and human interaction.

        Culture and community is lemmy and the fediverse's biggest differentiator, and we all have a role to play in shaping the culture of this space.

        The biggest thing you can do to help the fediverse is make it a place worth being.

        B This user is from outside of this forum
        B This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote on last edited by
        #384

        This place is becoming very Reddit, if you post anything that deviates from someone’s beliefs they call you names and insult your intelligence. So many people can’t have a debate or discussion without jumping to personal attacks and hate. It’s really disheartening. I love political debate but there’s no such thing anymore, only name calling

        T cris_color@lemmy.worldC C D emperor@feddit.ukE 8 Replies Last reply
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        • ? Guest

          Oh and happy Lemmy anniversary. Is it really today? Weird coincidence that I joined today.

          I got temporarily banned from Reddit for saying that using ivermectin might kill you, and that was it. I’m done.

          cris_color@lemmy.worldC This user is from outside of this forum
          cris_color@lemmy.worldC This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote on last edited by
          #385

          Interesting, ivermectin has that intense of side effects when taken orally? Or do the pseudo-science people who think it cures covid just advocate dosing it ridiculously high?

          By coincidence I actually use ivermectin topically for my rosacea, a skin condition. Being a anti-parasitic its useful fro reducing the amount of demodex mites that can aggravate rosacea in some people! I know in people it's mostly used for lice.

          ? 1 Reply Last reply
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          • B [email protected]

            This place is becoming very Reddit, if you post anything that deviates from someone’s beliefs they call you names and insult your intelligence. So many people can’t have a debate or discussion without jumping to personal attacks and hate. It’s really disheartening. I love political debate but there’s no such thing anymore, only name calling

            T This user is from outside of this forum
            T This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote on last edited by
            #386

            Doing a quick look through your comment history paints the picture that you're likely the issue since your responses are often vaguely or overtly aggressive. Snide and snark.

            B S 2 Replies Last reply
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            • B [email protected]

              This place is becoming very Reddit, if you post anything that deviates from someone’s beliefs they call you names and insult your intelligence. So many people can’t have a debate or discussion without jumping to personal attacks and hate. It’s really disheartening. I love political debate but there’s no such thing anymore, only name calling

              cris_color@lemmy.worldC This user is from outside of this forum
              cris_color@lemmy.worldC This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote on last edited by
              #387

              Its definitely rough, I can understand why. I live in the US and as a queer person whose loved ones are almost all minorities the outlook is feeling pretty bleak, but its definitely frustrating that it feels like even slightly different left wing ideas, or thoughts on what we do about our problems can spawn flamewars.

              Literally with people you're in the exact same camp with šŸ˜• I'm also big on political debate, I think democracy can't function unless people can discuss with eachother what problems we have and what we think we should do about them. (And yes, I know we increasingly may not have much of democracy here in the US. I still think my statement is true of how democracy functions in general)

              I think it's really valuable to learn how people arive at worldviews other than mine.

              ? 1 Reply Last reply
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              • B [email protected]

                This place is becoming very Reddit, if you post anything that deviates from someone’s beliefs they call you names and insult your intelligence. So many people can’t have a debate or discussion without jumping to personal attacks and hate. It’s really disheartening. I love political debate but there’s no such thing anymore, only name calling

                C This user is from outside of this forum
                C This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote on last edited by
                #388

                Spez had his gestapo admins ban a bunch of people after Elon had a fit so you're getting a lot of the terminally online types coming here. My suggestion is just don't give them any attention and they'll eventually give up. I was in a few lefty subs and holy shit you could smell some of the people there just from their comments.

                S 1 Reply Last reply
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                • W [email protected]

                  I arrived at LEMMY after what I think we very optimistically called the Reddit Collapse. We wish. And I had toe in LEMMY and a few others at Reddit.

                  Recently with their abusively patronizing redesigning and gamification and just ugly bullshit, I can’t stomach Reddit at all. So LEMMY grows increasingly important, not just to me but to folks who haven’t yet even heard of it.

                  So, I’ll just say thanks for your post here. I have, I confess, engaged with a couple bullies on LEMMY and I always try to say… I don’t like to do this on LEMMY— and I say that precisely for the reasons you mention.

                  And as you encourage: I will try to be kinder, even in when feeling… hmm… less than kind.

                  C This user is from outside of this forum
                  C This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #389

                  Thats when I came here too. Sadly, spez had his yes man ban a lot of people and some bad ones broke containment because of it.

                  W 1 Reply Last reply
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                  • cris_color@lemmy.worldC [email protected]

                    Its definitely rough, I can understand why. I live in the US and as a queer person whose loved ones are almost all minorities the outlook is feeling pretty bleak, but its definitely frustrating that it feels like even slightly different left wing ideas, or thoughts on what we do about our problems can spawn flamewars.

                    Literally with people you're in the exact same camp with šŸ˜• I'm also big on political debate, I think democracy can't function unless people can discuss with eachother what problems we have and what we think we should do about them. (And yes, I know we increasingly may not have much of democracy here in the US. I still think my statement is true of how democracy functions in general)

                    I think it's really valuable to learn how people arive at worldviews other than mine.

                    ? Offline
                    ? Offline
                    Guest
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #390

                    Yeah. So much of our social media is structured to reinforce being combative. Even the upvote/downvote feature of Reddit/Lemmy etc has this effect of rewarding performativity over substance. People start competing for points and start to interpret high point totals as the equivalent of winning an argument or saying something of substance.

                    Since it’s a lot easier to get upvotes if you’re pithy or snarky or unserious the whole mechanism that underpins this tech tilts people toward simplistic and aggressive rhetoric.

                    I don’t want to get too ā€œthe medium is the messageā€ here and complexity in political discussions (or any discussions really) have been decreasing generation over generation - so it’s not just a social media problem. But social media seems to have broken so many of the traditional guardrails we’ve had against demagoguery. It’s going to take a lot to unwind it.

                    cris_color@lemmy.worldC 1 Reply Last reply
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                    • T [email protected]

                      Doing a quick look through your comment history paints the picture that you're likely the issue since your responses are often vaguely or overtly aggressive. Snide and snark.

                      B This user is from outside of this forum
                      B This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #391

                      There it is

                      T rhoeri@lemmy.worldR 2 Replies Last reply
                      0
                      • ? Guest

                        Yeah. So much of our social media is structured to reinforce being combative. Even the upvote/downvote feature of Reddit/Lemmy etc has this effect of rewarding performativity over substance. People start competing for points and start to interpret high point totals as the equivalent of winning an argument or saying something of substance.

                        Since it’s a lot easier to get upvotes if you’re pithy or snarky or unserious the whole mechanism that underpins this tech tilts people toward simplistic and aggressive rhetoric.

                        I don’t want to get too ā€œthe medium is the messageā€ here and complexity in political discussions (or any discussions really) have been decreasing generation over generation - so it’s not just a social media problem. But social media seems to have broken so many of the traditional guardrails we’ve had against demagoguery. It’s going to take a lot to unwind it.

                        cris_color@lemmy.worldC This user is from outside of this forum
                        cris_color@lemmy.worldC This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #392

                        I agree. You can get a lot of positive reinforcement from sincere positive engagement (this post gave me lots, lol šŸ˜…) but it's exhausting work compared to just making a snide jab. And that really does profoundly shape peoples behavior over time.

                        I'm a BIG believer in the idea that the medium makes the message, and how we design the mechanics of this space shapes how we behave. Erin kissane has talked about that some in her work studying the fediverse and it's really stuck with me.

                        1 Reply Last reply
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                        • B [email protected]

                          As so often, the answer is found in scripture:

                          One day Mal-2 asked the messenger spirit Saint Gulik to approach the Goddess and request Her presence for some desperate advice. Shortly afterwards the radio came on by itself, and an ethereal female Voice said YES?

                          "O! Eris! Blessed Mother of Man! Queen of Chaos! Daughter of Discord! Concubine of Confusion! O! Exquisite Lady, I beseech You to lift a heavy burden from my heart!"

                          WHAT BOTHERS YOU, MAL? YOU DON'T SOUND WELL.

                          "I am filled with fear and tormented with terrible visions of pain. Everywhere people are hurting one another, the planet is rampant with injustices, whole societies plunder groups of their own people, mothers imprison sons, children perish while brothers war. O, woe."

                          WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH THAT, IF IT IS WHAT YOU WANT TO DO?

                          "But nobody wants it! Everybody hates it."

                          OH. WELL, THEN STOP.

                          At which moment She turned herself into an aspirin commercial and left The Polyfather stranded alone with his species.

                          Answer. I said answer. Not solution. Too much aspirin and your blood thins out and you need to move to Transylvania.

                          cris_color@lemmy.worldC This user is from outside of this forum
                          cris_color@lemmy.worldC This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #393

                          That took my brain a hot minute to process lol. Is that actually from something or did you just invent it on the spot? šŸ˜…

                          "I am filled with fear and tormented with terrible visions of pain. Everywhere people are hurting one another, the planet is rampant with injustices, whole societies plunder groups of their own people, mothers imprison sons, children perish while brothers war. O, woe."

                          "But nobody wants it! Everybody hates it.

                          "OH. WELL, THEN STOP.

                          Unironically wisdom we should all learn from. I can't stop for other people but I can at least choose how I act, and whether I contribute to that pain suffering and discord.

                          B 1 Reply Last reply
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                          • B [email protected]

                            There it is

                            T This user is from outside of this forum
                            T This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #394

                            I wasn't looking for dirt, I was genuinely curious as to why you were having that experience. I'm not attacking you, just giving you my opinion which is ironic... Of course self reflection isn't for everyone and it's often easier to assume our problems are all external, but in reality it's usually a bit of both. Anyway, I hope your experience here gets better.

                            1 Reply Last reply
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                            • ? Guest

                              Sometimes they literally just are. Not seen it on Lemmy but on Reddit I definitely interacted with users, age under 1 year, all suspiciously pro-Putin. It's rare and I'm looking for it, but still.

                              N This user is from outside of this forum
                              N This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #395

                              It's rare and I'm looking for it

                              Unfortunately not that rare of a POV to find. They just generally don't do the young account thing. Some are true believers. Others likely state actors. Don't see as many bots but the greater levels of transparency and lower active population probably makes it less worthwhile of an investment.

                              1 Reply Last reply
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                              • cris_color@lemmy.worldC [email protected]

                                The fediverse is small, and thats both a blessing and a curse - one of its several blessings is that in a smaller space we all individually have a bigger impact on what the culture of this space is like.

                                On this comm (and on lemmy broadly) there's a lot of discussion about how to grow the fediverse, what to improve, but an easy thing you can do for the fediverse is right in front of us-

                                • Be kind

                                • Ask people what they think, and why

                                • Approach folks you disagree with with curiosity rather than hostility

                                • Engage sincerely

                                • Ask yourself if there's something nice you can say

                                • Make this small space worth being in

                                A platform lives or dies by what's available on said platform and often we have this conversation in the context of "content" or posts - and we may never have as much content as reddit does. But content and posts aren't the only thing this kind of platform offers- it also offers people. It offers community, and human interaction.

                                Culture and community is lemmy and the fediverse's biggest differentiator, and we all have a role to play in shaping the culture of this space.

                                The biggest thing you can do to help the fediverse is make it a place worth being.

                                N This user is from outside of this forum
                                N This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #396

                                I disagree with your premise.

                                It should be "The best thing that you can do for humanity is to be kind".

                                Seriously. We're living in a time when fascism is in an upswing and at least one religious leader has publicly called empathy a sin. Kindness and empathy are rebellious acts.

                                cris_color@lemmy.worldC follydolly@lemmy.worldF emperor@feddit.ukE 3 Replies Last reply
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                                • cris_color@lemmy.worldC [email protected]

                                  Interesting, ivermectin has that intense of side effects when taken orally? Or do the pseudo-science people who think it cures covid just advocate dosing it ridiculously high?

                                  By coincidence I actually use ivermectin topically for my rosacea, a skin condition. Being a anti-parasitic its useful fro reducing the amount of demodex mites that can aggravate rosacea in some people! I know in people it's mostly used for lice.

                                  ? Offline
                                  ? Offline
                                  Guest
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #397

                                  I was replying to someone that said they could use it to treat covid, which has lead to people dying. Guess I got reported by them and for some reason an admin thought it was meant as a threat?

                                  That’s really interesting! Did you have any problems getting your hands on it when people started buying it for covid?

                                  cris_color@lemmy.worldC 1 Reply Last reply
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                                  • C [email protected]

                                    Thats when I came here too. Sadly, spez had his yes man ban a lot of people and some bad ones broke containment because of it.

                                    W This user is from outside of this forum
                                    W This user is from outside of this forum
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                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #398

                                    It’s gotten to the point here at Lemmy that I’m wanting to set up my two favorite communities. It’s just that they are so niche I can’t imagine them taking off. And my pleasure in them is of course derived from people who are FAR MORE into them than I am.

                                    But I can’t even go back to that cesspool Reddit now even for the good stuff. Oh well.

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                                    • ? Guest

                                      I was replying to someone that said they could use it to treat covid, which has lead to people dying. Guess I got reported by them and for some reason an admin thought it was meant as a threat?

                                      That’s really interesting! Did you have any problems getting your hands on it when people started buying it for covid?

                                      cris_color@lemmy.worldC This user is from outside of this forum
                                      cris_color@lemmy.worldC This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #399

                                      Gotcha, that sucks, but I'm happy you made the journey over to Lemmy!

                                      And oh, no I only just started using it more recently. I don't think the topical kind was ever used by folks who thought it did something for covid anyway. I know there are also oral treatments for rosacea, but I'm not sure if oral antiparasitics are every used, since it's just on the skin of your face that matters.

                                      It also only got a generic over the counter version more recently, if I remember right, but now you can get it as a lotion that's labeled for lice, but for some people it really helps with rosacea (rosacea is one of those really complicated multiple causitive factor health issues that can manifest in serveral different ways that we still only kinda sorta partially understand. Demodex mites seem to play a role in some people but not others, there's a lot of trial and error)

                                      The perscription version sometimes perscribed for rosacea is called Soolantra I think, its really expensive so an over the counter generic is kindof a godsend for folks whose insurance won't cover it

                                      ? 1 Reply Last reply
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                                      • N [email protected]

                                        I disagree with your premise.

                                        It should be "The best thing that you can do for humanity is to be kind".

                                        Seriously. We're living in a time when fascism is in an upswing and at least one religious leader has publicly called empathy a sin. Kindness and empathy are rebellious acts.

                                        cris_color@lemmy.worldC This user is from outside of this forum
                                        cris_color@lemmy.worldC This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #400

                                        You know what, I can respect that take. I was trying to tailor things to my audience, you're not wrong though šŸ™‚

                                        N 1 Reply Last reply
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                                        • U [email protected]

                                          Ik a few people who lean to the right economically but aren't in favor of all this authoritarian stuff
                                          And they're not Nazis, you cant just generalize so broadly about what should or shouldn't be tolerated.
                                          Ofc if someone is being blatantly racist that shouldnt be tolerated, but economic discussion is totally fine

                                          S This user is from outside of this forum
                                          S This user is from outside of this forum
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                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #401

                                          Electing republicans is in itself blatantly racist.

                                          U 1 Reply Last reply
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