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  3. How many of you have stayed in a relationship, or lived with an ex because neither of you could afford to live on your own?

How many of you have stayed in a relationship, or lived with an ex because neither of you could afford to live on your own?

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  • washedupcynic@lemmy.caW This user is from outside of this forum
    washedupcynic@lemmy.caW This user is from outside of this forum
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    wrote last edited by
    #1
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    S maniel@sopuli.xyzM S washedupcynic@lemmy.caW fredselfish@lemmy.worldF 10 Replies Last reply
    44
    • washedupcynic@lemmy.caW [email protected]
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      S This user is from outside of this forum
      S This user is from outside of this forum
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      wrote last edited by
      #2

      I was until just recently. Finally breaking free from it and living on my own.

      washedupcynic@lemmy.caW 1 Reply Last reply
      5
      • washedupcynic@lemmy.caW [email protected]
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        maniel@sopuli.xyzM This user is from outside of this forum
        maniel@sopuli.xyzM This user is from outside of this forum
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        wrote last edited by [email protected]
        #3

        I'm currently living with my toxic wife because in case of a divorce I'd have to rent an apartment (we live at her parents), buy and maintain a car (Europe here, we can perfectly live with one car per household), pay child support and try to live on top of that

        Also I'm kinda too lazy for that

        washedupcynic@lemmy.caW 1 Reply Last reply
        8
        • washedupcynic@lemmy.caW [email protected]
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          S This user is from outside of this forum
          S This user is from outside of this forum
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          wrote last edited by
          #4

          Likely happens a lot more now... Having second income is almost necessarity if you want to live "alone"

          1 Reply Last reply
          2
          • washedupcynic@lemmy.caW [email protected]
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            washedupcynic@lemmy.caW This user is from outside of this forum
            washedupcynic@lemmy.caW This user is from outside of this forum
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            wrote last edited by
            #5

            I currently live with my g/f and the relationship is a happy one. She slowly moved into my one bedroom apartment and I refuse to let her contribute to rent or utilities because I don't want to be dependent on her income. (Also she and her retired mother went halfsies on a new trailer. She's paying the lot rent while her mom lives in the trailer. She also has her own room there too.) If she starts pestering me to move into a bigger place, I will be damn sure it's something I can afford on my own. I learned my lesson after being thrown out of a place 2 weeks after breaking up while I had no stable income.

            S 1 Reply Last reply
            2
            • maniel@sopuli.xyzM [email protected]

              I'm currently living with my toxic wife because in case of a divorce I'd have to rent an apartment (we live at her parents), buy and maintain a car (Europe here, we can perfectly live with one car per household), pay child support and try to live on top of that

              Also I'm kinda too lazy for that

              washedupcynic@lemmy.caW This user is from outside of this forum
              washedupcynic@lemmy.caW This user is from outside of this forum
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              wrote last edited by
              #6

              Have you tried couples therapy? Do you think that would improve the toxicity or your relationship?

              maniel@sopuli.xyzM 1 Reply Last reply
              5
              • S [email protected]

                I was until just recently. Finally breaking free from it and living on my own.

                washedupcynic@lemmy.caW This user is from outside of this forum
                washedupcynic@lemmy.caW This user is from outside of this forum
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                wrote last edited by
                #7

                Congrats!

                1 Reply Last reply
                4
                • washedupcynic@lemmy.caW [email protected]
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                  fredselfish@lemmy.worldF This user is from outside of this forum
                  fredselfish@lemmy.worldF This user is from outside of this forum
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                  wrote last edited by
                  #8

                  I did this for a year with my ex that we have two kids with. Didn't last long, only a year. But damn it was a long year.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  1
                  • washedupcynic@lemmy.caW [email protected]
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                    J This user is from outside of this forum
                    J This user is from outside of this forum
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                    wrote last edited by
                    #9

                    I became best friends with my ex after we broke up and we lived together for years.

                    R 1 Reply Last reply
                    16
                    • washedupcynic@lemmy.caW [email protected]
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                      kolanaki@pawb.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
                      kolanaki@pawb.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
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                      wrote last edited by
                      #10

                      I was with my ex wife for 5 years after divorcing because of a situation like this.

                      It was the worst period of my life. So far.

                      1 Reply Last reply
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                      • washedupcynic@lemmy.caW [email protected]
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                        linkinkampf19@lemmy.worldL This user is from outside of this forum
                        linkinkampf19@lemmy.worldL This user is from outside of this forum
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                        wrote last edited by [email protected]
                        #11

                        In this situation now, kinda. Known each other 13 years, been married for ~10 years (but "separated" for the last ~3), amicably divorcing around December, and keeping the ownership of everything the same, house is plenty big for us all. We came out to each other over the past couple years, and she found her true soulmate. I'm perfectly happy living on my own for once. It's freeing, and we're besties. We see ourselves paying off the 30 year mortgage, and then seeing where our lives go.

                        1 Reply Last reply
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                        • washedupcynic@lemmy.caW [email protected]
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                          A This user is from outside of this forum
                          A This user is from outside of this forum
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                          wrote last edited by
                          #12

                          Thankfully no

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          3
                          • washedupcynic@lemmy.caW [email protected]

                            I currently live with my g/f and the relationship is a happy one. She slowly moved into my one bedroom apartment and I refuse to let her contribute to rent or utilities because I don't want to be dependent on her income. (Also she and her retired mother went halfsies on a new trailer. She's paying the lot rent while her mom lives in the trailer. She also has her own room there too.) If she starts pestering me to move into a bigger place, I will be damn sure it's something I can afford on my own. I learned my lesson after being thrown out of a place 2 weeks after breaking up while I had no stable income.

                            S This user is from outside of this forum
                            S This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote last edited by
                            #13

                            This sounds great, but you should still let her contribute her share of rent. You don't need to become dependent on it, if that's a concern. Put it away for a bigger place if that's in your plans.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            5
                            • J [email protected]

                              I became best friends with my ex after we broke up and we lived together for years.

                              R This user is from outside of this forum
                              R This user is from outside of this forum
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                              wrote last edited by
                              #14

                              Ya love to see it

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              7
                              • washedupcynic@lemmy.caW [email protected]
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                                eezeebee@lemmy.caE This user is from outside of this forum
                                eezeebee@lemmy.caE This user is from outside of this forum
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                                wrote last edited by
                                #15

                                Yes, and we were both miserable. Now I'm working on fulfilling my dreams that were put on hold that entire time and it's going well.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                3
                                • washedupcynic@lemmy.caW [email protected]

                                  Have you tried couples therapy? Do you think that would improve the toxicity or your relationship?

                                  maniel@sopuli.xyzM This user is from outside of this forum
                                  maniel@sopuli.xyzM This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #16

                                  The thing is my wife cannot fathom she's the toxic one, every time I mention it she gaslights me and says I'm victimizing myself, frankly her habit of belittling me at every step of so engrained in her everyday life that she doesn't notice it at all, like basic things, her tone etc, sometimes she tries to justify that behavior because she's doing everything and I'm just sitting don't nothing, because she is the victim, and I should mam up and stop whining etc

                                  N starlinguk@lemmy.worldS 2 Replies Last reply
                                  3
                                  • maniel@sopuli.xyzM [email protected]

                                    The thing is my wife cannot fathom she's the toxic one, every time I mention it she gaslights me and says I'm victimizing myself, frankly her habit of belittling me at every step of so engrained in her everyday life that she doesn't notice it at all, like basic things, her tone etc, sometimes she tries to justify that behavior because she's doing everything and I'm just sitting don't nothing, because she is the victim, and I should mam up and stop whining etc

                                    N This user is from outside of this forum
                                    N This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #17

                                    Man we have the same wife. I see you.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    1
                                    • maniel@sopuli.xyzM [email protected]

                                      The thing is my wife cannot fathom she's the toxic one, every time I mention it she gaslights me and says I'm victimizing myself, frankly her habit of belittling me at every step of so engrained in her everyday life that she doesn't notice it at all, like basic things, her tone etc, sometimes she tries to justify that behavior because she's doing everything and I'm just sitting don't nothing, because she is the victim, and I should mam up and stop whining etc

                                      starlinguk@lemmy.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
                                      starlinguk@lemmy.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #18

                                      So... do you sit around doing nothing while she does everything?

                                      maniel@sopuli.xyzM 1 Reply Last reply
                                      2
                                      • starlinguk@lemmy.worldS [email protected]

                                        So... do you sit around doing nothing while she does everything?

                                        maniel@sopuli.xyzM This user is from outside of this forum
                                        maniel@sopuli.xyzM This user is from outside of this forum
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                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #19

                                        Obviously not, I mean she's a teacher so she spends more time at home, she drives kids to school, she does shopping etc, so she does more but it's not like I just sit watching TV and drink beer when coming home after 8h at work

                                        1 Reply Last reply
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