Let's play this game again
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But it's a currency you cannot spend or convert.
That isn't money then.
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I will keep my socks on and just when I’m about to bust, socks come off and I scare the girl.
Oof, extra tight
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being happy
I don't need superpowers, just let me not be depressed while retaining a functioning cock/not feeling numb to the world.
Alright, fun's over, let the monkey's paw curl.
You are incapable of being anything other than extremely happy no matter the circumstances.Having a serious discussion with a loved one? Getting laid off? Funerals?
You're happy!
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Ability to become any fictional character with all their skills and powers while retaining my identity.
But all the fictional characters are in the stories as victims. Your name effectively replaces the term "florida man".
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infinite money
Anything you buy / invest becomes worthless to you
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Just gimme photographic memory.
You relive the bad parts of your life every time before bed.
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Your DnD groups are all incredibly hot and sexually uninhibited, but none of them will date you because they can always get great sex, whereas you are the best at being a DM. They also steal any one you want to date because they want you do do nothing but be there for them.
That seems oddly specific and personal.
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Telekinesis
You get one hell of a migraine every time you use it.
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The ability to the cat
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Will to live
wrote on last edited by [email protected]Who is Will, and why did he die?
This, of all, I wonder why.
When he left I felt the surge
Of pain flow though my heart and I
Thought back to all the Wills I've known
But none of them would cause such groan
To splinter in my heart like this;
I'd barely find a little moan.
So why at last, when chance is here
Should I cry, "Will should live!" with fear?
I only met him once but now
For all he is I shed a tear.
And so I wait with baited breath
At graveside---but with terror rings
The note of balance, weighing kings
And paupers on the scale; sings
That this one's life, return'd on wings,
In recompense a great doom brings:
The rest of us will meet our death. -
nausea, diarrhea, indigestion, loss of appetite, increased sweating, shaking or trembling, decreased appetite, inability to ejaculate, and decreased libido.
Oh and projectile vomiting if you miss a dose, messed up sleep if you take it to late in the day, falling asleep at your desk if you take it too early.
Brain jolts, anxiety, vomiting when you try to come back off it.
https://www.nhs.uk/medicines/sertraline/side-effects-of-sertraline/
Almost every antidepressant I've tried has side effects I don't like, but especially the way they fuck up your libido is incredibly frustrating to me, and every antidepressant that has had any effect on my mood has also made my dick useless. The only one I'd tried that didn't was Wellbutrin, and that just didn't do anything.
Oh, runners up prize for "worst side effect" goes to Prozac, which made me grind my goddamn teeth unconsciously, in addition to my dick not working. that got seriously painful after a few days.
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They are always completely distracted and on their phones the whole time.
Had this happen with one dude in college. I had no clue why he joined at all. He spent every session on his phone held 6 inches from his face, and always had to be told when it was his turn in combat, just for him to have no clue who to attack.
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I can shit at will
Poor Will.
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You are consistently happy, all the time. People think you are strange for not crying at funerals, but smiling instead. You never feel anything but happy. No envy, no hatred, no love. Just happiness.
pfft, people already think I'm weird and inappropriate, I'm on the spectrum. Is that the worst you've got?
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You are now a Golden Lab. Occasionally you remember being human, but then you see a stick you want to play with.
so you mean I get to exist as a creature of pure joy that everyone else loves when they see me? And I gain the ability to lick my own balls?
I'm not sure you understand this whole "monkeys paw" thing.
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When a lemmy user responds to me with a side effect, I can, by choice, reflect or absorb said side effect
But you get no superpowers.
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When I’m completely naked I’m invisible.
Doood, don't half ass it.
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so you mean I get to exist as a creature of pure joy that everyone else loves when they see me? And I gain the ability to lick my own balls?
I'm not sure you understand this whole "monkeys paw" thing.
If licking your own balls is what you want, I won't be the one to try and stop you.
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That seems oddly specific and personal.
Benny Hill did something along these lines.
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infinite money
People assume you're a fraudster and you get sent to prison because the courts do not believe you
