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  3. Anon dates a 19 y/o

Anon dates a 19 y/o

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  • A [email protected]

    Love that we're making imaginary [gen-z/gen alpha/gen whatever the hell arbitrary title] the same way our parents and grandparents made imaginary millennials to get mad at.

    The Silent Generation called their kids "Generation Me"

    A This user is from outside of this forum
    A This user is from outside of this forum
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    wrote last edited by
    #96

    The Silent Generation was correct.

    1 Reply Last reply
    7
    • D [email protected]

      OP is still on 4chan. Lingo aside I'd say he's in his maturity range.

      underpantsweevil@lemmy.worldU This user is from outside of this forum
      underpantsweevil@lemmy.worldU This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote last edited by
      #97

      4channers should probably just stay out of the dating pool entirely.

      1 Reply Last reply
      1
      • H [email protected]

        I date/have sex with who I'm physically attracted to. Otherwise I'm OK if we just stay (non-sexual) friends. Us having stuff in common doesn't make me horny for them or want to romance them.

        If we have nothing in common because of an age gap, then the sexual relationship becomes a reason to learn about them. As long as we agree with each other on politics.

        That said I have no expectations, admittedly atm all I've been getting is one night stands every once in a while and I'd like deeper relationships (I'm poly). But fuck maybe I just wont get one. shrugs I'll just keep trying until I get one.

        underpantsweevil@lemmy.worldU This user is from outside of this forum
        underpantsweevil@lemmy.worldU This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote last edited by
        #98

        I’ll just keep trying until I get one.

        Literally all you can ever do.

        That said, I never really got one-night stands as a thing. If I connected with someone enough for sex, I was typically getting along well enough for friendship.

        Had three relationships that ran 2-5 years each before I got married, with a smattering of dating and perennial party girl friends in between.

        But it's so weird to want to hook up, then never see that person again.

        1 Reply Last reply
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        • early_to_risa@sh.itjust.worksE [email protected]
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          Q This user is from outside of this forum
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          wrote last edited by
          #99

          As an adult for most dating your peers is preferable to dating younger adults. I don't want to hear "So what was the gas crisis like?" on a date ever again (IDK what it was like I was 3).

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          • A [email protected]

            Love that we're making imaginary [gen-z/gen alpha/gen whatever the hell arbitrary title] the same way our parents and grandparents made imaginary millennials to get mad at.

            The Silent Generation called their kids "Generation Me"

            Q This user is from outside of this forum
            Q This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote last edited by
            #100

            It was "The 'Me' Generation" not "Generation Me". Generation ____ starts with Copeland's Generation X book.

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            • early_to_risa@sh.itjust.worksE [email protected]
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              A This user is from outside of this forum
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              wrote last edited by
              #101

              Exactly! Why the fuck would anyone want to date someone that much younger than them? I will never understand why so many men want to date girl so young.

              S daggermoon@lemmy.worldD C 3 Replies Last reply
              21
              • A [email protected]

                Exactly! Why the fuck would anyone want to date someone that much younger than them? I will never understand why so many men want to date girl so young.

                S This user is from outside of this forum
                S This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote last edited by
                #102

                A friend of friend I’ve met a couple times is into me. They’re 23 and I’m 30 and I still don’t have an interest. They’re perfectly nice, but…

                I think after 28-30 it starts to really not matter that much but before that even smallish gaps can be pretty questionable. And any dude that would consider someone their age to be a “hag” probably largely dates younger because mature, experienced women can tell they’re really just garbage man-children.

                soleinvictus@lemmy.blahaj.zoneS A R 3 Replies Last reply
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                • W [email protected]

                  I tried that with Reddit. Parents cockblocked me. Had nothing but my missed life to think about in the meantime, so my mental health slips, and I ask who besides Serial killers and rapists deserves to die (looking for a description of myself in the answers).

                  Implying someone's life is worth more than others is a big no no on Reddit.

                  Get permabanned for inciting violence.

                  S This user is from outside of this forum
                  S This user is from outside of this forum
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                  wrote last edited by
                  #103

                  Nothing but your missed life? You can live a lot of life without a romantic partner, as much I very much understand it can still feel lonely at times.

                  W 1 Reply Last reply
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                  • S [email protected]

                    What's interesting is this rule apparently originated from the early 1900s.

                    https://lemmy.zip/comment/21531881

                    F This user is from outside of this forum
                    F This user is from outside of this forum
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                    wrote last edited by
                    #104

                    Ah, so "half your age plus seven" wasn't the low end, it was the target.

                    That certainly re-frames things.

                    1 Reply Last reply
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                    • S [email protected]

                      A friend of friend I’ve met a couple times is into me. They’re 23 and I’m 30 and I still don’t have an interest. They’re perfectly nice, but…

                      I think after 28-30 it starts to really not matter that much but before that even smallish gaps can be pretty questionable. And any dude that would consider someone their age to be a “hag” probably largely dates younger because mature, experienced women can tell they’re really just garbage man-children.

                      soleinvictus@lemmy.blahaj.zoneS This user is from outside of this forum
                      soleinvictus@lemmy.blahaj.zoneS This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote last edited by
                      #105

                      For real. When I was 24, I dated a 19 year old for like two weeks. They were really nice and interesting, but ultimately the age gap proved to make a relationship unviable. I can't even imagine a nine year gap at that age. Gross.

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                      • S [email protected]

                        A friend of friend I’ve met a couple times is into me. They’re 23 and I’m 30 and I still don’t have an interest. They’re perfectly nice, but…

                        I think after 28-30 it starts to really not matter that much but before that even smallish gaps can be pretty questionable. And any dude that would consider someone their age to be a “hag” probably largely dates younger because mature, experienced women can tell they’re really just garbage man-children.

                        A This user is from outside of this forum
                        A This user is from outside of this forum
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                        wrote last edited by [email protected]
                        #106

                        Oh 100%. I knew a guy that was my age, that was always trying to date younger, because no women our age would deal with his bullshit. So... I guess I do understand, huh.

                        1 Reply Last reply
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                        • K [email protected]

                          I dated a 19 year old at 22 and even in that relatively minor gap there was palpable divide in mindset and priorities. I was looking to start a career and get my life established. She graduated high school a few month prior to turning 19 and just wanted to get high and watch musicals.

                          V This user is from outside of this forum
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                          wrote last edited by
                          #107

                          Maybe she was rich and could stay high and watch musicals for the rest of her life. What a lucky girl she was.

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                          • A [email protected]

                            Exactly! Why the fuck would anyone want to date someone that much younger than them? I will never understand why so many men want to date girl so young.

                            daggermoon@lemmy.worldD This user is from outside of this forum
                            daggermoon@lemmy.worldD This user is from outside of this forum
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                            wrote last edited by
                            #108

                            I mean, i'd like to date someone that much older than me.

                            A 1 Reply Last reply
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                            • S [email protected]

                              A friend of friend I’ve met a couple times is into me. They’re 23 and I’m 30 and I still don’t have an interest. They’re perfectly nice, but…

                              I think after 28-30 it starts to really not matter that much but before that even smallish gaps can be pretty questionable. And any dude that would consider someone their age to be a “hag” probably largely dates younger because mature, experienced women can tell they’re really just garbage man-children.

                              R This user is from outside of this forum
                              R This user is from outside of this forum
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                              wrote last edited by
                              #109

                              really just garbage man-children

                              It's a green-text, we knew that from the get-go

                              S 1 Reply Last reply
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                              • W [email protected]

                                No, a 19 year old dating a 16 year old is still creepy.

                                fizz@lemmy.nzF This user is from outside of this forum
                                fizz@lemmy.nzF This user is from outside of this forum
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                                wrote last edited by
                                #110

                                The age it lands on is always the grey area age. If youre 19 dating someone 16.5 thats weird but 17.5 most wouldn't bat an eye at.

                                W 1 Reply Last reply
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                                • R [email protected]

                                  really just garbage man-children

                                  It's a green-text, we knew that from the get-go

                                  S This user is from outside of this forum
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                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #111

                                  Yes, but even people who don’t go online much, even people I actually do care about in my own life, still fall into that category. The people I care about tend to be much nicer and wouldn’t call someone a hag but they do lack a certain level of maturity. Green-text makes it near certain but it’s a “not all rectangles are squares” situation.

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                                  • N [email protected]

                                    Sure, but there's a difference between hanging out with some 20 year olds, and being romantically involved with them.

                                    The latter requires a hell of a lot of maturity and being in a similar place in life to deal with things life throws at you. The former just requires laughing at some meme together you both find funny.

                                    S This user is from outside of this forum
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                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #112

                                    Agreed! But we had solid conversations, deep and involved. I was astonished at how mature and educated they were, forgot what I was like at that age.

                                    I've found papers I wrote for school in my teens, thought, "Oh boy, this is gonna be some bullshit." Read them and was surprised at my understanding of the world!

                                    Guess my point is, I will never undersell the youth, not ever again. Dating someone half my age, meh, can't really see it, but I do see it as possible for some.

                                    N 1 Reply Last reply
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                                    • T [email protected]

                                      Acquaintances/Friends and "dating" are not the same.

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                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #113

                                      Only saying, we had far more in common than I had thought. I was replying to someone who said winter/spring relationships are only about physical attraction.

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                                      • W [email protected]

                                        You don't date though. A lot of people I know are young. Who else tf you going to meet nowadays.

                                        Though I'd date 25+, screw 22+, not younger.

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                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #114

                                        Meh, I won't put strict age limits on sex. Relationships? I can guess what would and wouldn't work for me, but the world is a big place and people are wildly variable.

                                        W 1 Reply Last reply
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                                        • S [email protected]

                                          Agreed! But we had solid conversations, deep and involved. I was astonished at how mature and educated they were, forgot what I was like at that age.

                                          I've found papers I wrote for school in my teens, thought, "Oh boy, this is gonna be some bullshit." Read them and was surprised at my understanding of the world!

                                          Guess my point is, I will never undersell the youth, not ever again. Dating someone half my age, meh, can't really see it, but I do see it as possible for some.

                                          N This user is from outside of this forum
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                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #115

                                          That's fair, and I would never say that youth are idiots or shouldn't be listened to. That's not true at all, I think they can have many valuable things to contribute to society, the conversation, the world, etc.

                                          I'm strictly speaking about them as a romantic partner with such an age gap, especially one that starts when they're 17/18 and the person they're dating is in their 30's or more. Nobody can convince me that that would be an equal relationship for both parties. I've attempted it in my late 20's dating a few 18/19 year olds, and then again attempted it in my mid 30's and it was a significantly worse experience.

                                          They weren't bad people in any way, or stupid, or immature in the pop-culture sense of the word. But the relationship was never going to work out, and it was because no matter which way you slice it, a mid 30's man and a 19 or 20 year old girl are not at the same place in life. If they are, then it's the older person who never grew up and is still behaving like a teenager.

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