Is it too late to develop a social life in your mid 20s if you never had one prior?
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[email protected]replied to [email protected] last edited by
Mid 20s? You're barely out of your teenage years, of course you can. Now if anyone has some tips for mid 40s...
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[email protected]replied to [email protected] last edited by
As someone mentioned before: play boardgames. The nice thing is you don’t need any cause we gamers already have plenty and are always looking for people to play with.
Also go volunteering. You’ll meet people of different ages, genders and backgrounds. I myself volunteer in a youth centre in my neighbourhood. Initially I knew no one on the streets. Now people recognise me, teens and parents alike, say hello and acknowledge me. I myself like this. It makes the neighbourhood feel more welcoming and save. Initially I „hid“ behind our counter having a save distance between me and the teens until I felt comfortable and feeling like I can intrude their space. It takes time. But it is worth it.
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[email protected]replied to [email protected] last edited by
Can second boardgames. these are the sociable nerds
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[email protected]replied to [email protected] last edited by
Nah. You can make friends at any age. Most of it comes down to showing interest in the person you want to befriend and asking them about themselves.
Imo as an ADHD person this world best for me. The hard part is finding the interesting person I wanna befriend. Most have happened casually through games or events. If you board game. Or pickle ball. Or shit join a cooking class. Good chance you'll be interested in someone in the bunch.
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[email protected]replied to [email protected] last edited by
You number friends?
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[email protected]replied to [email protected] last edited by
Absolutely.
I was an absolute loner for the better part of a decade. Then my depression just disappeared. I joined a community around a streamer and had loads of fun. Just find the intersection between your preferred subject (literary analysis, anime tiddies, etc.) and your preferred communication method. (Text forum, voice chat, real life meetings, etc.) You'll find at least someone you can hang with, maybe more. Just go at it with openness and joy. -
[email protected]replied to [email protected] last edited by
They are obviously ranked too. duh. Number 1 and 2 are always fighting for rank.
With 18 friends they only have 2 left in the 20 friend limit. It's very competitive. -
[email protected]replied to [email protected] last edited by
I mean he needed his MySpace top 8
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[email protected]replied to [email protected] last edited by
Dude, it's literally never too late. x3
There's old people fuck-a-thons in retirement homes for heaven's sake, lol. And those people are almost a century old.
Get on meetup.com if you aren't sure what's out there, but there's all sorts of fun stuff going on! Meetup is platonic.
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[email protected]replied to [email protected] last edited by
My experience has been that you basically restart the process of building a new social circle every few years. Life circumstances change. People move away. Some relationships grow apart. Some start families. So there's always going to be others in the same boat as you looking for new connections.
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[email protected]replied to [email protected] last edited by
Mid-20s is honestly the perfect time to start
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[email protected]replied to [email protected] last edited by
The most difficult part is keeping your privacy respected. Normals will require you congregate on some proprietary, data-thieving platform to participate.
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[email protected]replied to [email protected] last edited by
Too late? No way! Success depends a lot on your expectations and sense of self, so I would encourage you to be in therapy to get those straight. We all need therapy, but now would be a good time for you, before starting a new way of life.
But no way. You are perfectly fine.
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[email protected]replied to [email protected] last edited by
Definitely get therapy, everyone should. Also don't avoid socializing while u work on yourself In therapy, dual path it!
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[email protected]replied to [email protected] last edited by
When I hear "social life", "romantic", and "platonic" right next to each other like that, I think "social life" is code for spitting game. If that's the case I'll let you know when I figure it out
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[email protected]replied to [email protected] last edited by
I was the same, then I went to a lot of places: classes at community college and community centers, worked in restaurants, cafes, retail stores, and stayed at Airbnbs that were crowded like hostels. Sometimes you get talking with a co-worker or roommate, then get invited to a party and maybe find new friendships there.
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[email protected]replied to [email protected] last edited by
No, not at all! As you grow older, it may not be as automatic as when you are in school. Many of the people that you interact with might be focused on their own stuff (work, partner, family, hobbies, finance) and not too motivated to expand or even have a "social life" in whatever free time they have (if they even do). But this is not everyone. There is still a lot of people at every age that do want a social life, you just need to put in a bit of effort to connect with them.
And, a tip, do not consider failed attempts at socializing as a "failure" on your side. Perceived rejection often boils down to people being very attached to their free time, and socializing not being on their list of priorities. If you keep this in mind then you do not need to feel discomfort from rejection, and you can be active in your search for like-minded people without worry.
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[email protected]replied to [email protected] last edited by
I hope so, otherwise I'm fucked.
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[email protected]replied to [email protected] last edited by
A good way is to find a meetup group with some shared interest. It doesn't really matter what so long as the crowd is good and you know enough to hold a conversation in the subject.
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[email protected]replied to [email protected] last edited by
No it’s not too late! I didn’t start branching out and making new friends outside of the ones I made in high school until I was about 28. I got in touch more with acquaintances and started going out to bars. It wasn’t immediate and you have to be ok with having days that it doesn’t work, and show up repeatedly and you can start knowing people. You also should feel ok with the fact that not everyone will be super close friends and that it can take time, and that’s ok. You are allowed to exist in public spaces just like everyone else. The first few times I went out I didn’t talk to anyone at all. Nowadays I can go out and have days I don’t talk to anyone or meet anyone new or see anyone I know, but that is also ok. It’s a numbers game and you have to just keep going and get comfortable with checking in with your feelings and accepting when you feel social and when you don’t and accepting when things don’t turn out how you want and just appreciating being human and being out in the world. Go to cafes and listen to music and read books, go to bars and strike up conversations when you’re inspired, become a regular, ask people’s names, strike up casual conversation, accept awkwardness as part of the process and just keep moving forward! I now have multiple circles of friends that I’m close with to varying degrees and usually see someone I know when I go out. Work on your hobbies and career when you’re not socializing to have things to talk about and relate to, and be curious about other people and their lives. Most of the time at bars other people are also there to socialize, and you absolutely do not have to drink to be welcome at a bar. Do virgin drinks, sodas, water, pineapple soda, and ask the bartenders their choices in non alcoholic drinks.