Am I a bad person?

[ocean@lemmy.selfhostcat.com]

I would be careful with this. My university says it can use anything I say in counseling against me in a lawsuit.

[pebbles@sh.itjust.works]

I get why you would feel like a bad person. You stole and that's easily considered wrong. Feeling bad about that is natural.

I think you are allowed room for mistakes. And if something is a habit it is good to be kind to yourself. Cleaning up a long held bad habit can take longer than we expect.

My advice is that sometimes we realize we want to live differently, and that's awesome. You obviously want to give back and be kind to people. You are also very young and impulse control is a bitch. It doesn't finish developing till late 20s.

You'll make more mistakes in the future. You'll realize you've hurt people and that's okay, that's life. Just keep adjusting and don't be too hard on yourself.

[schlemmy@lemmy.ml]

Robin Hood is a thief.
You're not a bad person.
I get it. I have enough money and sometimes I have the urge to steal. It would be terrible to get caught because I have an exemplary function at work, to my children, in my surroundings...
You have to consider whether it's worth it.
The fact that you ask the question is a good thing.

[lriv724@discuss.online]

I appreciate this so much. You are very kind

[some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org]

I used to steal a lot when I was a teen, mostly for the thrill. We grow and we mature and we change. It sounds like you're becoming a better person and also watching out for your future. That's commendable.

I agree with another user who suggested therapy. I've been in therapy most of my life (with some gaps) starting when I was the teen who was constantly getting arrested and causing trouble. It switched from a thing I was forced to do and became a thing that I do to help realize my goals in adulthood. Example: figured out why I was still angry about a thing from years ago and successfully put it behind me in a recent session.

Maybe you don't need to speak to someone. That's fine, too. Your brain is still developing. If you succeed in not stealing any more and you pay back your brother perhaps it's all fine. But again, I think there's value in understanding the compulsion if you still feel it but aren't acting on it.

You're not a shitty person. If you go back to stealing, you'll be something of a shitty person. But if it's a phase you've outgrown and you try to make it right, that's called being young and stupid. We all go through it to some degree in our own ways. Focus on your future and on being a good person each day. It's fine.

[maeve@kbin.earth]

I would be careful of talking to professionals under the current administration. Good people sometimes do bad things, bad people sometimes do good things. Under any other administration prior, I would have agreed with seeking professional help. Now not so much. But you can overcome this. It's not necessarily going to be easy, but you can.

[ryannathans@aussie.zone]

You gotta talk to a psych and get diagnosed

[fakir@lemm.ee]

You are a very good person, because you are reflective of your past, conscious of your actions, and have morals that gave you the guilt that you feel. You're alright little one.

[wuphysics87@lemmy.ml]

A poor political climate is no reason to avoid seeing a doctor

[idkwhatusernametoputherelolol@lemmy.dbzer0.com]

Okay I don't have any advice except this:

If you have to steal, please only steal from big corporate chain stores, not the small bussiness.

Also, be careful, cameras are everywhere these days.

I'm not judging the act of theft, just where you steal from. Please only steal from the rich.

[tyrant@lemmy.world]

Also, spread theft around... A guy in Lowes was telling me they don't try and stop thieves until they rack up $10k of stuff so they can hit them with a bigger charge. Said they are using facial recognition and tracking that way now. Might have been full of shit but my dystopian mind thought it plausible.

[nicolahaskell@lemmy.ml]

I'll tap in for Brother Bear!

What are you trying to solve here beyond indulging guilt? Your last sentence is outright asking to be told you're bad. If you want validation or excuse for that you can go to confession or seek diagnosis (which might fairly fit into your plan, I'm not judging).

You say, "If you steal from someone ... saying sorry doesn’t do much for me because if you were sorry, you wouldn’t have done it in the first place." I hear, "avoidance". Apologies are promises, commitments, and covenants, not regret and remorse. Simply Feeling Bad is the relinquished barfly's philosophy and doesn't accomplish much but prolonging the bad feeling.

Talking anonymously online or in person can be a healthy start to validate and work through both the stealing and the secrecy, but growing beyond those releases all The Stuff so you can exist honestly and authentically with your pack.