Let's play this game again
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Ability to make cheese at will.
Severe lactose intolerance.
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The ability to get my DnD group to have a sensible, routine schedule, with no cancelations.
Even for a post like this that’s just unrealistic.
But, everyone shows up but their fingers are constantly covered in a thick layer of Cheeto dust.
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being happy
I don't need superpowers, just let me not be depressed while retaining a functioning cock/not feeling numb to the world.
Alright, fun's over, let the monkey's paw curl.
You experience no such thing as want or discomfort, you dehydrate and die within a few days.
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Mind reading
Always. You can never not be reading the minds of everyone around you.
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I can shit at will
You have a constant, dire, and unending desire to shit at all times.
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The ability to turn lead into gold just by touching it and saying a short incantation.
The incantation is the full unedited script of The Bee Movie and you have to do a Seinfeld impersonation when reciting his lines.
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Just gimme photographic memory.
You walked in on your mom getting railed by the mailman while your dad was masturbating in his cuck chair, the lighting was immaculate.
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Super speed of course!!
You are still vulnerable to friction.
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The ability to find any file I please from anywhere I choose no matter how confidential or copyrighted it is. (It's... for a Club Penguin archival project, yeah)
You’re only able to utilize the Club Penguin files after you’ve setup a server to revive GhostX.
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For the really powerful ones, but for instance I think spider man is better defined by what he CAN do, which is actually a pretty small list.
I think Spider-man has the heart of a more powerful hero, and his limited power set is his restriction.
He constantly punches above his weight, giving him an underdog status that's VERY appealing, as evidenced by his popularity.
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Idk friends, I'm tired. Person who replies, please give me something cool.
You have constant diarrhea. You're welcome
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I can shapeshift.
... into cheap chinese toys only
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Ability to teleport any words I want into the mind of someone who is broadcasting or streaming anything over internet or radio or tv, that I currently watch or listen, as long as the broadcast is going on. For them it would be like hearing me as if I was in the same room. They won't know anything about me other than realize I'm one of their listeners or viewers. It works only for one person at a time - the streamer/broadcaster or one of them. They can choose to tell other listeners what they heard, or not.
Things always break for you just as you’re about to experience their reaction, regardless of the medium, abstraction or delay (live/recorded/news articles…)
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The power to become the animal I last ate.
All the food you eat tastes bland, cardboard like.
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Actually, 8.
No. Actually, you don't even control which fingers you lose. You lose one big finger once and you can't snap with that hand anymore.
One big finger
A thumb?
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Idk friends, I'm tired. Person who replies, please give me something cool.
... but you get some tasty food
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Ability to teleport any words I want into the mind of someone who is broadcasting or streaming anything over internet or radio or tv, that I currently watch or listen, as long as the broadcast is going on. For them it would be like hearing me as if I was in the same room. They won't know anything about me other than realize I'm one of their listeners or viewers. It works only for one person at a time - the streamer/broadcaster or one of them. They can choose to tell other listeners what they heard, or not.
But you get tourette(?) syndrome
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The power to become the animal I last ate.
Counts for going back to human too
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The ability to focus on stuff i am supposed to do
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Into Ron Jeremy.
Thanks this one could be useful.