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  3. Sell consulting services. Doesn't matter if you're right or wrong, what matters is that you're paid.

Sell consulting services. Doesn't matter if you're right or wrong, what matters is that you're paid.

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Microblog Memes
microblogmemes
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  • B [email protected]
    This post did not contain any content.
    F This user is from outside of this forum
    F This user is from outside of this forum
    [email protected]
    wrote on last edited by
    #54

    I thought CEOs commanded wildly exorbitant salaries because they were super smart and made all the decisions. Why would a consulting firm exist?

    R K 2 Replies Last reply
    5
    • S [email protected]

      “Sorry we don’t do remote work and you’ll have to come into the office.”

      “Counterpoint: …”

      M This user is from outside of this forum
      M This user is from outside of this forum
      [email protected]
      wrote on last edited by [email protected]
      #55

      Starbucks has a mandatory 3 day a week RTO policy, but this same CEO did not relocate from Newport beach to Seattle.

      Instead, he has the corporate private jet fly him 2000 miles round trip every week.

      N 1 Reply Last reply
      12
      • B [email protected]
        This post did not contain any content.
        blackmist@feddit.ukB This user is from outside of this forum
        blackmist@feddit.ukB This user is from outside of this forum
        [email protected]
        wrote on last edited by
        #56

        In, fire 30 percent of the workforce, new logo, boom, out.

        You are now a fully trained management consultant.

        bakkoda@sh.itjust.worksB G N 3 Replies Last reply
        40
        • B [email protected]
          This post did not contain any content.
          T This user is from outside of this forum
          T This user is from outside of this forum
          [email protected]
          wrote on last edited by
          #57

          Fuck McKinsey.

          1 Reply Last reply
          9
          • kolanaki@pawb.socialK [email protected]

            "What's your advice?"

            "My advice is to not take my advice. That'll be 63 million dollars, please."

            A This user is from outside of this forum
            A This user is from outside of this forum
            [email protected]
            wrote on last edited by
            #58

            That would unironically be good advice which means he couldnt give it.

            W 1 Reply Last reply
            3
            • S [email protected]

              They’re expensive because they’re cover for the executives to make a move. The executives can shield liability and justify any change by saying they did it in consultation with a big firm. It’s virtually impossible to pierce that with a lawsuit.

              T This user is from outside of this forum
              T This user is from outside of this forum
              [email protected]
              wrote on last edited by
              #59

              Results are good:

              • Business CEO takes credit, shareholders are happy with CEO
              • Consultancy got paid, shareholders are happy

              Results are bad:

              • Business CEO blames consultancy, shareholders don't blame CEO
              • Consultancy got paid, shareholders are happy

              absolutewin.jpg

              1 Reply Last reply
              1
              • B [email protected]
                This post did not contain any content.
                A This user is from outside of this forum
                A This user is from outside of this forum
                [email protected]
                wrote on last edited by [email protected]
                #60

                TLC used to be The Learning Channel. Before it was “here’s a bunch of children who are being sexually abused behind the camera,” it was educational outreach. Vocational training. Satellite college courses for people in Alaska and Appalachia.

                Then Discovery bought it. Fuck Discovery.

                B captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.worksC mojofrododojo@lemmy.worldM 3 Replies Last reply
                56
                • crackhappy@lemmy.worldC [email protected]

                  I don't care if you're wrong, I will propagate it anyway.

                  mimicjar@lemmy.worldM This user is from outside of this forum
                  mimicjar@lemmy.worldM This user is from outside of this forum
                  [email protected]
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #61

                  I mean no need to spread misinformation. This information in easily verifiable.

                  Sundar Pichai, Google's CEO, worked at McKinsey for ~2 years and then joined Google in 2004, eventually working his way into the position of CEO.

                  Pichai's fuck ups are unlikely a result of McKinsey, at least not directly. That isn't to say that McKinsey is completely off the hook. They work with plenty of "top" companies and I'm certain Google is one of them.

                  S justas@sh.itjust.worksJ 2 Replies Last reply
                  15
                  • mimicjar@lemmy.worldM [email protected]

                    I mean no need to spread misinformation. This information in easily verifiable.

                    Sundar Pichai, Google's CEO, worked at McKinsey for ~2 years and then joined Google in 2004, eventually working his way into the position of CEO.

                    Pichai's fuck ups are unlikely a result of McKinsey, at least not directly. That isn't to say that McKinsey is completely off the hook. They work with plenty of "top" companies and I'm certain Google is one of them.

                    S This user is from outside of this forum
                    S This user is from outside of this forum
                    [email protected]
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #62

                    They certainly hire some "talent"

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    2
                    • A [email protected]

                      TLC used to be The Learning Channel. Before it was “here’s a bunch of children who are being sexually abused behind the camera,” it was educational outreach. Vocational training. Satellite college courses for people in Alaska and Appalachia.

                      Then Discovery bought it. Fuck Discovery.

                      B This user is from outside of this forum
                      B This user is from outside of this forum
                      [email protected]
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #63

                      One of my favorite channels. I liked learning new stuff. Factual stuff. Not conspiracy theories disguised as history.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      16
                      • A [email protected]

                        TLC used to be The Learning Channel. Before it was “here’s a bunch of children who are being sexually abused behind the camera,” it was educational outreach. Vocational training. Satellite college courses for people in Alaska and Appalachia.

                        Then Discovery bought it. Fuck Discovery.

                        captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.worksC This user is from outside of this forum
                        captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.worksC This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #64

                        Why do I associate TLC with, like, Trading Spaces and other domestic not-quite-a-game shows like that? Am I conflating it with something else? Also I haven't had "television" in decades now.

                        A vetoftheseas@discuss.onlineV 2 Replies Last reply
                        5
                        • captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.worksC [email protected]

                          Why do I associate TLC with, like, Trading Spaces and other domestic not-quite-a-game shows like that? Am I conflating it with something else? Also I haven't had "television" in decades now.

                          A This user is from outside of this forum
                          A This user is from outside of this forum
                          [email protected]
                          wrote on last edited by [email protected]
                          #65

                          Because that’s the slop it turned into. It was a place for documentaries and educational content, just like MTV used to have music. But watching Kate torment her brood of children or Honey BooBoo eat sketti makes the kind of money airing a college lecture doesn’t.

                          F 1 Reply Last reply
                          19
                          • B [email protected]
                            This post did not contain any content.
                            R This user is from outside of this forum
                            R This user is from outside of this forum
                            [email protected]
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #66

                            Legends.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            13
                            • D [email protected]

                              I wish I could be paid that much to be wrong all the time.

                              A This user is from outside of this forum
                              A This user is from outside of this forum
                              [email protected]
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #67

                              Start a company

                              D 1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • T [email protected]

                                https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fu3ETgAvQrw

                                G This user is from outside of this forum
                                G This user is from outside of this forum
                                [email protected]
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #68

                                I was expecting https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GyV_UG60dD4

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                4
                                • A [email protected]

                                  That would unironically be good advice which means he couldnt give it.

                                  W This user is from outside of this forum
                                  W This user is from outside of this forum
                                  [email protected]
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #69

                                  But if he did, would they take it?

                                  theneverfox@pawb.socialT 1 Reply Last reply
                                  2
                                  • A [email protected]

                                    Start a company

                                    D This user is from outside of this forum
                                    D This user is from outside of this forum
                                    [email protected]
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #70

                                    For this sort of job, you need to be born to rich parents, get sent to a ivy league college, skip classes and make connections. Then you can start a business selling fake services to the stupid.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • M [email protected]

                                      Starbucks has a mandatory 3 day a week RTO policy, but this same CEO did not relocate from Newport beach to Seattle.

                                      Instead, he has the corporate private jet fly him 2000 miles round trip every week.

                                      N This user is from outside of this forum
                                      N This user is from outside of this forum
                                      [email protected]
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #71

                                      Seems like a solid solution. Why doesn't everyone just do that?

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      6
                                      • M [email protected]

                                        "Certainly Sir! Money well spent!"

                                        You have to understand why they are employed though - somebody stands to gain from doing some thing, so the way they get to justify doing that thing is to hire these people, so they come in, deliver a report that says the thing is the best thing to do with graphs that go up, and it happens, McKinsey gets paid, the beneficiary gets what they want and life goes on.

                                        gradually_adjusting@lemmy.worldG This user is from outside of this forum
                                        gradually_adjusting@lemmy.worldG This user is from outside of this forum
                                        [email protected]
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #72

                                        That plus there's a massive incentive for overpaid executives to farm out any actual decision-making to consultants. They could lose their cushy jobs if they did something unpopular that made the news and hurt stock prices. But if the decision was promoted by an expensive consulting firm, that launders the blame. It hurts the business in a fundamental way, obviously, but publicly traded companies have not been very focused on fundamentals up until lately. Tighter monetary policy should have changed this, but the paradigm has been slow to shift for many.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        6
                                        • mimicjar@lemmy.worldM [email protected]

                                          I mean no need to spread misinformation. This information in easily verifiable.

                                          Sundar Pichai, Google's CEO, worked at McKinsey for ~2 years and then joined Google in 2004, eventually working his way into the position of CEO.

                                          Pichai's fuck ups are unlikely a result of McKinsey, at least not directly. That isn't to say that McKinsey is completely off the hook. They work with plenty of "top" companies and I'm certain Google is one of them.

                                          justas@sh.itjust.worksJ This user is from outside of this forum
                                          justas@sh.itjust.worksJ This user is from outside of this forum
                                          [email protected]
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #73

                                          Pichai was so bad, even McKinsey didn't want to keep him.

                                          C 1 Reply Last reply
                                          3
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