Sell consulting services. Doesn't matter if you're right or wrong, what matters is that you're paid.
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"What's your advice?"
"My advice is to not take my advice. That'll be 63 million dollars, please."
"Certainly Sir! Money well spent!"
You have to understand why they are employed though - somebody stands to gain from doing some thing, so the way they get to justify doing that thing is to hire these people, so they come in, deliver a report that says the thing is the best thing to do with graphs that go up, and it happens, McKinsey gets paid, the beneficiary gets what they want and life goes on.
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Why are consulting companies so successful? Is it all connections? Their role in appeasing investors by external intervention and change (no matter how useful)?
Consulting companies are just esoteric quacks but for businesses.
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I wish I could be paid that much to be wrong all the time.
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When Chipotle got a new CEO (Brian Niccol, who has since become the Starbucks CEO) a few years back, they were headquartered in Denver. But the CEO lived in Newport Beach. So they brought in a consulting management firm to examine where the best place in the country was for them to have their corporate headquarters.
After weeks of analysis - surprise, surprise - they determined that the best place they could possibly have a corporate headquarters was in Newport Beach, where the CEO lived.
So they fired most of their corporate workers and moved the office to be closer to the CEOs house.
I have experienced this where I work. There is a consulting company that gets rolled out to make packets full of "data", graphs, summaries, and surveys that always manages to support the unpopular thing the boss wants.
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I thought CEOs commanded wildly exorbitant salaries because they were super smart and made all the decisions. Why would a consulting firm exist?
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“Sorry we don’t do remote work and you’ll have to come into the office.”
“Counterpoint: …”
wrote on last edited by [email protected]Starbucks has a mandatory 3 day a week RTO policy, but this same CEO did not relocate from Newport beach to Seattle.
Instead, he has the corporate private jet fly him 2000 miles round trip every week.
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In, fire 30 percent of the workforce, new logo, boom, out.
You are now a fully trained management consultant.
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Fuck McKinsey.
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"What's your advice?"
"My advice is to not take my advice. That'll be 63 million dollars, please."
That would unironically be good advice which means he couldnt give it.
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They’re expensive because they’re cover for the executives to make a move. The executives can shield liability and justify any change by saying they did it in consultation with a big firm. It’s virtually impossible to pierce that with a lawsuit.
Results are good:
- Business CEO takes credit, shareholders are happy with CEO
- Consultancy got paid, shareholders are happy
Results are bad:
- Business CEO blames consultancy, shareholders don't blame CEO
- Consultancy got paid, shareholders are happy
absolutewin.jpg
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TLC used to be The Learning Channel. Before it was “here’s a bunch of children who are being sexually abused behind the camera,” it was educational outreach. Vocational training. Satellite college courses for people in Alaska and Appalachia.
Then Discovery bought it. Fuck Discovery.
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I don't care if you're wrong, I will propagate it anyway.
I mean no need to spread misinformation. This information in easily verifiable.
Sundar Pichai, Google's CEO, worked at McKinsey for ~2 years and then joined Google in 2004, eventually working his way into the position of CEO.
Pichai's fuck ups are unlikely a result of McKinsey, at least not directly. That isn't to say that McKinsey is completely off the hook. They work with plenty of "top" companies and I'm certain Google is one of them.
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I mean no need to spread misinformation. This information in easily verifiable.
Sundar Pichai, Google's CEO, worked at McKinsey for ~2 years and then joined Google in 2004, eventually working his way into the position of CEO.
Pichai's fuck ups are unlikely a result of McKinsey, at least not directly. That isn't to say that McKinsey is completely off the hook. They work with plenty of "top" companies and I'm certain Google is one of them.
They certainly hire some "talent"
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TLC used to be The Learning Channel. Before it was “here’s a bunch of children who are being sexually abused behind the camera,” it was educational outreach. Vocational training. Satellite college courses for people in Alaska and Appalachia.
Then Discovery bought it. Fuck Discovery.
One of my favorite channels. I liked learning new stuff. Factual stuff. Not conspiracy theories disguised as history.
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TLC used to be The Learning Channel. Before it was “here’s a bunch of children who are being sexually abused behind the camera,” it was educational outreach. Vocational training. Satellite college courses for people in Alaska and Appalachia.
Then Discovery bought it. Fuck Discovery.
Why do I associate TLC with, like, Trading Spaces and other domestic not-quite-a-game shows like that? Am I conflating it with something else? Also I haven't had "television" in decades now.
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Why do I associate TLC with, like, Trading Spaces and other domestic not-quite-a-game shows like that? Am I conflating it with something else? Also I haven't had "television" in decades now.
wrote on last edited by [email protected]Because that’s the slop it turned into. It was a place for documentaries and educational content, just like MTV used to have music. But watching Kate torment her brood of children or Honey BooBoo eat sketti makes the kind of money airing a college lecture doesn’t.
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Legends.
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I wish I could be paid that much to be wrong all the time.
Start a company
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I was expecting https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GyV_UG60dD4
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That would unironically be good advice which means he couldnt give it.
But if he did, would they take it?
