So proud!
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you can ask if it's okay to share!
Do you guys really start convos like "I just watched X doc and I thought it was neat. I was wondering, if it's not too much of an imposition, may I tell you about it?"
Honestly I think it's just a "I don't vibe with people who need that" sort of thing, I like friends that let me be excited without begging permission, and I would gladly do the same for them.
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I'm memestealing this!
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So I’ve noticed this post isn’t going over very well. I’d like to add a female perspective.
“Mansplain” isn’t meant to say you info dump or over explain a thing. It means that you assume you know more simply based on sex. It’s a type of misogyny that’s more typically overt in boomer culture, but it’s got a following in the whole Tate movement. I have rarely noticed it outside of that generation in the wild.
Now…Guys do infodump, which leads to this confusion, because a lot of people dislike that behavior too. Statistically women do speak less in mixed groups. Put it all together and it’s easy for people to over generalize a very specific behavior. It does happen, but compared to previous generations it’s not as common. It definitely occurs to women who work in non-traditional fields and take on non-traditional roles and I suspect that the same is true for men.
I had a woman at a car service counter take in my car once. She was dressed nicely and clean so of course I assumed she only did paperwork.
I treated her like a human. Explained my car symptoms and where I think the problem is. (Car electric went nuts and lost power steering when i hit a puddle.)
Holy crap she knew her stuff. I mentioned it felt like the alternator wasnt performing right and undervolting, but since it's only when driving threw a puddle it had to be a component siezing and pulling on the accessory belt. She agreed that's a good place to start and ran through all the bits in that system as well as thier diagnostic steps planned.
I figured she knew about cars but it felt like she was a full on mechanic and was the manager dressed up.
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Well she’s not here to impress you.
She’s clearly posting for attention though
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That's such a cool observation
Is try at your attempt at lashing out over hurt feelings?
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Men do mensplain but they do it most if you are a week "cute girl". In my line of work I have to be kind of a bitch (not asshole just not girly), if I'm cute I won't get anything done. Nobody mensplain anything to a bitch. They roll their eyes and just do whater you want fast so you cam go away.
In my private life I'm usually the one womensplaing
You sound like a treat to be around.
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ur mom lies to u
Your mom lies to your dad everyday
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Do you guys really start convos like "I just watched X doc and I thought it was neat. I was wondering, if it's not too much of an imposition, may I tell you about it?"
Honestly I think it's just a "I don't vibe with people who need that" sort of thing, I like friends that let me be excited without begging permission, and I would gladly do the same for them.
absolutely i have both started conversations like that and had friends start conversations like that, specifically about the video game expedition 33 and specifically because of a concern about spoiling the media
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this post seems to be going over well, given the number of upvotes.
I had read a lot of the comments and wondered if it might be misconstrued
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So I’ve noticed this post isn’t going over very well. I’d like to add a female perspective.
“Mansplain” isn’t meant to say you info dump or over explain a thing. It means that you assume you know more simply based on sex. It’s a type of misogyny that’s more typically overt in boomer culture, but it’s got a following in the whole Tate movement. I have rarely noticed it outside of that generation in the wild.
Now…Guys do infodump, which leads to this confusion, because a lot of people dislike that behavior too. Statistically women do speak less in mixed groups. Put it all together and it’s easy for people to over generalize a very specific behavior. It does happen, but compared to previous generations it’s not as common. It definitely occurs to women who work in non-traditional fields and take on non-traditional roles and I suspect that the same is true for men.
Infodumping male here, I generally do it because in my mind context is important to make sense, and of course I do it regardless of gender. It honestly feels like a detriment, as I feel myself taking too long, but don't really know how to shorten it. I do it when explaining issues at work or when talking about stuff I like etc, but have audio has times where I tried to be brief then got the wrong info across or forgot to mention something important or just right make sense. It's like I can't find the right balance between explaining and dumping.
I didn't find this post as an insult or anything though.
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absolutely i have both started conversations like that and had friends start conversations like that, specifically about the video game expedition 33 and specifically because of a concern about spoiling the media
Tbh I hadn't considered spoilers and imo that kinda makes sense, but outside of that context I think I just need a different communication style. I'd never feel comfortable around people if I had to do that for convos about anything other than spoilers.
And I guess spoilers really don't hit as hard with documentaries, which I never really considered until this comment.
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The post says "basic things"
In addition to "basic" being relative, I was also speaking more generally about the concept, not purely about the exact post.
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I'm memestealing this!
From one thief to another, cool.
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I genuinely don’t understand what difference it makes. She began to explain, implying she hadn’t said she was the author of the book he had locked and loaded. He cut her off. This could either be excitement on the topic they both had interest in or a slightly rude faux pas.
If she said “yep, heard of that book — I wrote it” and he said “you can’t be the author — you’re a woman” the misogyny would be obvious.
The fact that one person cut another off in one conversation doesn’t mean every time a man opens his mouth he’s “mansplaining”. Or maybe it does, since the definition seems to mean whatever the speaker wishes it to be. Bringing me back to my first post.
Cutting her off was definitely rude, but I agree that it's silly to ask everyone you meet if they wrote each book you want to discuss with them.
If you had something like
Alice: I've been researching a guy recently, do you know anything about him?
Bob: I recently read a book about him, have you heard of it?
Alice: I wrote that book.
Bob: Wow, cool to meet you. I really liked your work!
Bob still assumes that Alice didn't write the book until told otherwise, but he doesn't cut her off, and this conversation is perfectly pleasant.
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Tricky - basic is very contextual. Basic to an electrician isn't basic to a plumber!
Right, so a man talking to a woman in the same field shouldn't explain what is basic in their field. That is mansplaining. Mansplaining is contextual.
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Your mom lies to your dad everyday
they dont talk so i know that aint true
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Can you give some examples?
For example when i start talking about biology and cell mechanisms, or when explaining how i fixed some technical issue that popped up. In the past I wasn't able to stop, but i've learnt my lesson and when i see that i've exceeded the maximum talking time (mostly on her face) then i stop talking. Those things aren't stuff that she does know about, but she's not very interested in those things.
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I don't really see people use the term mansplain to mean anything other than men being condescending. While I do see it used "incorrectly" sometimes, I have no reason to believe the person using it doesn't believe the man is being rude/condescending. Just because I personally believe something isn't condescending doesn't mean the person doesn't view it like that (and whether the person is actually being condescending is a totally different topic). I see people call people assholes when they're not being assholes. I see people call people jerks when they're not being jerks. It's not really a new thing.
In short, I don't believe anyone is using the term differently, it could be that you don't think the man doing the explaining is being condescending but they do, or it could be that the term really is used differently and I just haven't personally seen it (always a possibility).
I have no reason to believe the person using it doesn't believe the man is being rude/condescending. Just because I personally believe something isn't condescending doesn't mean the person doesn't view it like that (and whether the person is actually being condescending is a totally different topic).
There are a lot of insecure people in the world, to whom any explanation feels condescending. Are we really suggesting that the perception of the recipient is more valid than the intent of the subject? That's kinda the whole problem.
Is it mansplaining for a man who's been a physical trainer for years to explain to a woman that she's about to seriously hurt herself with improper form? He knows what he's talking about, she's definitely going to hurt herself, his tone is polite but urgent, and the intent is sincerely to help her avoid that. Is her feeling that he's being condescending by criticizing her form enough to make him a mansplainer?
it could be that the term really is used differently and I just haven't personally seen it (always a possibility).
I have personally seen it. I've personally been accused of mansplaining when correcting someone on something I know a great deal about, and immediately after watching them do it very wrong. Honestly I've probably seen it used defensively to delegitimize the man in question much more often than I've seen actual mansplaining.
I'm not saying it's not a real phenomenon, but it seems more often to be a term used to shut down legitimate communication.
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Right, so a man talking to a woman in the same field shouldn't explain what is basic in their field. That is mansplaining. Mansplaining is contextual.
It is used much more freely than that. I agree that it's a problem when it actually happens, but I'd argue the accurate use of the term is not the typical one.
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woman here. please explain something to me. /gen
Measles use your macrophages as a taxi to your lymph nodes so they can attack the immune system and the memory cells which are responsible for the immune reaction against everything you already encountered in your life - after an measles infection you count as immune suppressed for about an year, and people who caught the measles lose all or most immunities imparted by prior infection or vaccination. Studies have indicated that up to 90% of child mortality in 3rd world countries have a connection to a prior measles infection, even if the child survived the measles themselves. That makes the current measles outbreaks that started occurring in the last years pretty scary; in london there are only about 60-70% of all people vaccinated, which is not enough for a herd immunity that protects people who cannot get vaccinated.
I hope it was interesting! I love talking about such stuff, was sitting here with a smile while typing, thanks for listening
