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So proud!

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Microblog Memes
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  • B [email protected]
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    wrote last edited by
    #129

    Mansplaining is so 2015. I thought the culture wars had moved on? I see this is 3 years old, but it's pretty outré even for 2022.

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    • a_wild_mimic_appears@lemmy.dbzer0.comA [email protected]

      I also love explaining things and get excited when it's an area i know about, and then got accused of mansplaining. seeing that many men in these comments suffered the same fate, maybe some women could become more chill lol

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      wrote last edited by
      #130

      woman here. please explain something to me. /gen

      a_wild_mimic_appears@lemmy.dbzer0.comA 1 Reply Last reply
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      • agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.worksA [email protected]

        I hate how the term "mansplaining" has mutated from "When a man condescendingly explains a subject to a woman who is an expert in that subject, because he assumes being a woman makes her ignorant", which is certainly a valid thing to be upset about, into "Whenever a man explains anything to any woman" , which is sexist and divisive.

        The term is still pretty sexist as originally used though. It inherently implies that it's a characteristic masculine behavior. If you disagree, allow me to demonstrate:

        I just came up with this term, "womancomplaining", it's when a woman exaggerates a minor inconvenience into a targeted victimization.

        How does that term make you feel? Does it seem to imply that I'm talking about a specific, isolated behavior? Or does it seem more like I'm implying this is a characteristic feminine behavior? Would it feel less sexist if I insisted I wasn't talking about all women, but if you take offense then maybe you feel defensive about being a womancomplainer? What if I told you to calm down, because if you aren't guilty of it then I'm not talking about you?

        It still seems pretty sexist, doesn't it.

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        wrote last edited by
        #131

        I always like to think of notions like "mansplaining" as social weapons. They can be used against injustice, and they can be used to create it; the outcome varies on the morality or cognitive ability of the person using it.

        The judges are out on how it is being used; however, one can be delightfully certain that the Dunning-Kruger effect is in play somewhere whenever the term is used. Which party - who can say?

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        • match@pawb.socialM [email protected]

          you can ask if it's okay to share!

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          wrote last edited by
          #132

          Do you guys really start convos like "I just watched X doc and I thought it was neat. I was wondering, if it's not too much of an imposition, may I tell you about it?"

          Honestly I think it's just a "I don't vibe with people who need that" sort of thing, I like friends that let me be excited without begging permission, and I would gladly do the same for them.

          match@pawb.socialM 1 Reply Last reply
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          • pelespirit@sh.itjust.worksP [email protected]

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            wrote last edited by
            #133

            I'm memestealing this!

            pelespirit@sh.itjust.worksP 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • beebabe@lemmy.worldB [email protected]

              So I’ve noticed this post isn’t going over very well. I’d like to add a female perspective.

              “Mansplain” isn’t meant to say you info dump or over explain a thing. It means that you assume you know more simply based on sex. It’s a type of misogyny that’s more typically overt in boomer culture, but it’s got a following in the whole Tate movement. I have rarely noticed it outside of that generation in the wild.

              Now…Guys do infodump, which leads to this confusion, because a lot of people dislike that behavior too. Statistically women do speak less in mixed groups. Put it all together and it’s easy for people to over generalize a very specific behavior. It does happen, but compared to previous generations it’s not as common. It definitely occurs to women who work in non-traditional fields and take on non-traditional roles and I suspect that the same is true for men.

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              wrote last edited by
              #134

              I had a woman at a car service counter take in my car once. She was dressed nicely and clean so of course I assumed she only did paperwork.

              I treated her like a human. Explained my car symptoms and where I think the problem is. (Car electric went nuts and lost power steering when i hit a puddle.)

              Holy crap she knew her stuff. I mentioned it felt like the alternator wasnt performing right and undervolting, but since it's only when driving threw a puddle it had to be a component siezing and pulling on the accessory belt. She agreed that's a good place to start and ran through all the bits in that system as well as thier diagnostic steps planned.

              I figured she knew about cars but it felt like she was a full on mechanic and was the manager dressed up.

              E 1 Reply Last reply
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              • muusemuuse@sh.itjust.worksM [email protected]

                Well she’s not here to impress you.

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                wrote last edited by
                #135

                She’s clearly posting for attention though

                squirrelanna@lemmynsfw.comS 1 Reply Last reply
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                • T [email protected]

                  That's such a cool observation 🙂

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                  wrote last edited by
                  #136

                  Is try at your attempt at lashing out over hurt feelings?

                  T 1 Reply Last reply
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                  • missjinx@lemmy.worldM [email protected]

                    Men do mensplain but they do it most if you are a week "cute girl". In my line of work I have to be kind of a bitch (not asshole just not girly), if I'm cute I won't get anything done. Nobody mensplain anything to a bitch. They roll their eyes and just do whater you want fast so you cam go away.

                    In my private life I'm usually the one womensplaing

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                    wrote last edited by
                    #137

                    You sound like a treat to be around.

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                    1
                    • L [email protected]

                      ur mom lies to u

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                      wrote last edited by
                      #138

                      Your mom lies to your dad everyday

                      L 1 Reply Last reply
                      1
                      • A [email protected]

                        Do you guys really start convos like "I just watched X doc and I thought it was neat. I was wondering, if it's not too much of an imposition, may I tell you about it?"

                        Honestly I think it's just a "I don't vibe with people who need that" sort of thing, I like friends that let me be excited without begging permission, and I would gladly do the same for them.

                        match@pawb.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                        match@pawb.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
                        [email protected]
                        wrote last edited by
                        #139

                        absolutely i have both started conversations like that and had friends start conversations like that, specifically about the video game expedition 33 and specifically because of a concern about spoiling the media

                        A 1 Reply Last reply
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                        • J [email protected]

                          this post seems to be going over well, given the number of upvotes.

                          beebabe@lemmy.worldB This user is from outside of this forum
                          beebabe@lemmy.worldB This user is from outside of this forum
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                          wrote last edited by
                          #140

                          I had read a lot of the comments and wondered if it might be misconstrued

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • beebabe@lemmy.worldB [email protected]

                            So I’ve noticed this post isn’t going over very well. I’d like to add a female perspective.

                            “Mansplain” isn’t meant to say you info dump or over explain a thing. It means that you assume you know more simply based on sex. It’s a type of misogyny that’s more typically overt in boomer culture, but it’s got a following in the whole Tate movement. I have rarely noticed it outside of that generation in the wild.

                            Now…Guys do infodump, which leads to this confusion, because a lot of people dislike that behavior too. Statistically women do speak less in mixed groups. Put it all together and it’s easy for people to over generalize a very specific behavior. It does happen, but compared to previous generations it’s not as common. It definitely occurs to women who work in non-traditional fields and take on non-traditional roles and I suspect that the same is true for men.

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                            wrote last edited by
                            #141

                            Infodumping male here, I generally do it because in my mind context is important to make sense, and of course I do it regardless of gender. It honestly feels like a detriment, as I feel myself taking too long, but don't really know how to shorten it. I do it when explaining issues at work or when talking about stuff I like etc, but have audio has times where I tried to be brief then got the wrong info across or forgot to mention something important or just right make sense. It's like I can't find the right balance between explaining and dumping.

                            I didn't find this post as an insult or anything though.

                            L S 2 Replies Last reply
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                            • match@pawb.socialM [email protected]

                              absolutely i have both started conversations like that and had friends start conversations like that, specifically about the video game expedition 33 and specifically because of a concern about spoiling the media

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                              wrote last edited by
                              #142

                              Tbh I hadn't considered spoilers and imo that kinda makes sense, but outside of that context I think I just need a different communication style. I'd never feel comfortable around people if I had to do that for convos about anything other than spoilers.

                              And I guess spoilers really don't hit as hard with documentaries, which I never really considered until this comment.

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                              • O [email protected]

                                The post says "basic things"

                                agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.worksA This user is from outside of this forum
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                                wrote last edited by
                                #143

                                In addition to "basic" being relative, I was also speaking more generally about the concept, not purely about the exact post.

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                                • H [email protected]

                                  I'm memestealing this!

                                  pelespirit@sh.itjust.worksP This user is from outside of this forum
                                  pelespirit@sh.itjust.worksP This user is from outside of this forum
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                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #144

                                  From one thief to another, cool.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  1
                                  • R [email protected]

                                    I genuinely don’t understand what difference it makes. She began to explain, implying she hadn’t said she was the author of the book he had locked and loaded. He cut her off. This could either be excitement on the topic they both had interest in or a slightly rude faux pas.

                                    If she said “yep, heard of that book — I wrote it” and he said “you can’t be the author — you’re a woman” the misogyny would be obvious.

                                    The fact that one person cut another off in one conversation doesn’t mean every time a man opens his mouth he’s “mansplaining”. Or maybe it does, since the definition seems to mean whatever the speaker wishes it to be. Bringing me back to my first post.

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                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #145

                                    Cutting her off was definitely rude, but I agree that it's silly to ask everyone you meet if they wrote each book you want to discuss with them.

                                    If you had something like

                                    Alice: I've been researching a guy recently, do you know anything about him?

                                    Bob: I recently read a book about him, have you heard of it?

                                    Alice: I wrote that book.

                                    Bob: Wow, cool to meet you. I really liked your work!

                                    Bob still assumes that Alice didn't write the book until told otherwise, but he doesn't cut her off, and this conversation is perfectly pleasant.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
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                                    • H [email protected]

                                      Tricky - basic is very contextual. Basic to an electrician isn't basic to a plumber!

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                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #146

                                      Right, so a man talking to a woman in the same field shouldn't explain what is basic in their field. That is mansplaining. Mansplaining is contextual.

                                      agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.worksA H 2 Replies Last reply
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                                      • B [email protected]

                                        Your mom lies to your dad everyday

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                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #147

                                        they dont talk so i know that aint true 😛

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                                        • jackbydev@programming.devJ [email protected]

                                          Can you give some examples?

                                          a_wild_mimic_appears@lemmy.dbzer0.comA This user is from outside of this forum
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                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #148

                                          For example when i start talking about biology and cell mechanisms, or when explaining how i fixed some technical issue that popped up. In the past I wasn't able to stop, but i've learnt my lesson and when i see that i've exceeded the maximum talking time (mostly on her face) then i stop talking. Those things aren't stuff that she does know about, but she's not very interested in those things.

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